Villain84
Joined 29th Dec, 2012 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Not bad, but I'd advise getting an editor to help proof read.
Poor Spike.....
Edit: Nice avatar pic
she stopped as the saw the two mares making out on Twilight's bed ..Edit He stopped as he saw the two mares making out on twilight's bed. Alright so far but it needs more info on whats going on.
I was looking through the new romances for things to read and review later when the amount of Down votes on this caught my eye... I figured I would attempt to read to judge what was so bad about it so here goes.
HAHAHAHA... I have the perfect picture for this.
1.bp.blogspot.com/-RxK796sXdJY/TfgmsLDDOAI/AAAAAAAAF6M/cI7oglCng80/s1600/luna_and_celestia_adventures_by_csimadmax-d3ixvnh.png
Ok finished reading and I really don't see what the issue was. There wasn't too many mistakes and even though I'm not into anal play it still wasn't a bad story... so I am truly confused about all the down votes.
PS. thank Celestia spike walked in when he did and not later XD
Not bad if lacking description.
The major issue I noticed was after Twi lubed her horn you said she stuck it back into Rare's ass. But originally she put it in her sex. There was no transition from vaginal to anal.
I gotta say it was really hot and the only real problem I had were some spelling error other than that great job!
lucky spike gettin free porn .....
http://imgur.com/PI3pr
The Bad: Ripe with spelling/grammar issues. Doesn't really go into either of the character's thoughts/feelings.
The Good: Good descriptions, even though they lack a little bit. Very sex-slathered, which I know many enjoy quite a bit.
LOVE IT
I can actually explain the Mayan Calendar. Okay, it's more of a theory, but a logical one. They have a huge slab of rock, which they make into a calendar, listing dates for over one thousand years into the future. Eventually, they ran out of room, and since it was set for so far into the future, making a 'part two' on another slab would not only be unnecessary, but also a waste of time. This is my theory as to why the Mayan calendar ended where it did. It never said anywhere that it was the 'end of days', we came to that conclusion, even though it was completely unfounded.