One Night At Carousel Boutique

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The Princess Rarity

The Princess Rarity #1 · Jan 18th, 2013 · 2 · 4 ·

Will read later.

Shrinky Frod

Shrinky Frod #2 · Jan 19th, 2013 · · ·

Well... that was unexpected!

zlyfire

zlyfire #3 · Jan 19th, 2013 · 4 · ·

Meh, moderate clop. I think this was a good idea, bad execution type of situation. It seemed to jump forward, not being smooth. I'm not exactly sure what I can say to help improve that facet, but maybe add more bridging parts between, well, all of it? Perhaps make Sweetie appear a little later, because you more-or-less said Trixie was a virgin, then had her be quite forward and seeming a little experienced, though they didn't do anything before Sweetie barged in.
Another thing: Synonyms, use them. Vagina, clitoris, and cum all have them. Besides, this is a personal thought, vagina and clitoris aren't words to use in any smut. Vagina could be crotch(I saw it used once in your story, but only once), slit, sex(as a noun), or tunnel. Clitoris can be clit, lovebud, or nub. Cum, when female, can be juice, and that's about it.
I know it seems like I didn't like it, but it was good, regardless of the flaws.

canius