• Member Since 2nd Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

CrackedInkWell


"Inspiration does not come to the lazy. It only comes to those who call it." - P. I. Tchaikovsky

E

After a freak accident involving Princess Celestia, a magically powered sneeze with golden glitter, and a pony that guides air traffic, Air Marshal is now an Alicorn. Will he become a prince? Nope.


Proofread by Titanicgaming360 and tkepner.

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 61 )

Ey, just get the guy a "don't-notice-me" charm and we're golden!

Most of everything I want out of an "X becomes an alicorn" story.

9082008
I've decided to see what happens when I turned all those tropes with Alicorns in the opposite direction (as a comedy, of course).

You sir, have my attention.

I'll edit it if something else goes south.
After reading this first chapter, A: Typos. Oh god.
B: I have a MORAL DUTY to fix typos. So I will. Let's do this thing.
Also, I love this shit.

9083001
Thank you. At the moment, I'm preparing to go on vacation, so I'll be back by August 10th or 11th.

9083022
If you wanted to do this. By all means, go ahead, I won't stop you. If anything, I'll take whatever volunteers I could get.

Not bad so far, good concept and interesting set up. Looking forward to seeing where it goes.

Also there are a couple places you used composition when you wanted to use compensation.

9083328
And I hope that I can keep the volunteer that whoever it is doesn't fall off the face of the earth. Like I said, I'm taking whatever help I could get.

9083331
Either it failed to update properly, or you missed those two:

“So…” Luna began. “After talking to my sister, we’ve thought that the least we could do is to give you some composition for this whole accident. So, we think that the best way to apologize for all of this, is to give you a royal position as a Prince of Equestria. With all the benefits that come with it.”

“But… why?” Luna questioned. “Mr. Marshal, I don’t know if you quite grasp what’s we’re giving you in composition here. You’re given the once in a life-time chance to become royalty. It’s something that doesn’t happen that often.”

Also, you forgot the H of "Marshal" here:

“Uh… Mr. Marsal?” Luna inquired. “Where are you going?”

Typos aside, I believe we're off to a good start. I've always wondered what would happen if, after becoming an alicorn, somepony got offered royal status and just went "nope". Can't wait to see how it develops. :twilightsmile:

OOOooooo... that can't end well.

Had bosses like probably get screamed at for missing work without a doctors note

So does Equestria have a cartoon called My Little Bunnies?

It hurts because it's practically true with all authors treating alicorn characters (OC or not) like this. Even worse for male ones.

“Just come by to the hotel if you want some sugar,” before hobbling off. Even after all of that, I still felt dirty.

“OUT!!!” I roared

Cool. Already getting the Royal CapLock practice in.

9102719

I like Air Marshall's honesty and common sense: becoming an alicorn doesn't make anypony worthy of a crown, neither capable of managing a country.

Poor Air. Well... At least it can't get any worse! *Chews popcorn*

“The Island of Mary-Eye-Wanna.”

...:rainbowlaugh:...:rainbowlaugh:

potato salad

All hail the mighty 'Tater Salad!

I’m hoping for a nature documentary crew studying Alicorns to start harassing him next.

9116727
You did that on purpose. You invoked the fates just to torture a hard working individual forced to endure being a God. Teach me Senpai.

Well that got meta for a while, didn't it? I loved the relaxing-at-home bit Celestia and Luna got to do, princessing is such stressful work. Always nice to see them just being themselves.

img00.deviantart.net/8709/i/2016/357/5/7/the_royal_treatment_by_baron_engel-daskyer.jpg

“Starlight Glimmer.” She replied. "With a mare like that, what could go wrong?"

*double facehooves* Celestia, why are you going around invoking Murphy? He's busy enough as it is without sending him an engraved invitation.

Great chapter either way :)

"What could go wrong?"

The end is neigh!
She spoke the forbidden words!

“Starlight Glimmer.” She replied. "With a mare like that, what could go wrong?"

Oh, the mind boggles...

still, the amount of damage and pending doom, depends on if this story takes place before or after 'To Where and Back Again'.

Given who said it I could see that as a deliberate attempt to stir the pot further.

9151718
Thank you! I was trying to figure out how to spell that word (as it's one that I don't often use) and I couldn't figure out what it was nor know where to find it.

I once started to have a conversation in my head like that. But we got hung up on the difference between purple and lavender, and I've not heard a word from her since. Or perhaps I was just hallucinating off of 36+ hours of wakefulness and too much caffeine....


I try not to think about it.

9087639
Your avatar is uniquely astute.

“That… That might not be such a bad idea.” Dad said thoughtfully. “Even if you don’t want your followers, I think they would be the most to pay attention as, in their point of view, it would be like you were writing your own scripture.”

Now, hold on, he would use those nutjobs' beliefs to propagate his own world view. Pray tell, how that is different from politicking? It's the very definition of it!

I almost want to ask for an epilogue, about a few months after the book is published and to know how he was doing.

I really want a sequel that explores the ship between air Marshall and Starlight. He finds her attractive and she finds him attractive. They have good chemistry. She's already taken him out for dinner. I ship them so hard, even if Starlight is the crazy that you never want to stick your dick in.

Wait......its over? Awwwww......but I thought this was going to go on for a long time. Had a good plot going for it and everything. :pinkiesad2:

Apart of begging mugged

Do you mean: "Apart from being mugged"

than you could possible imagine

"than you could possibly imagine"

9182021
Fixed and thanks. Although, if you or anyone else does this again, could you please include the entire sentence so I would have a better idea where to fix the mistake?

be giddy to flee them off too

Do you mean: "be giddy to fling them off, too"

auditable sound

I'm pretty sure you mean "audible sound"
Audits are what accountants do.

that at least don’t ever kill anyone nor threatened severe harm if they don’t pay up their taxes.

I'm not sure what you mean here. the mafia or the sisters? "that at least the mafia/royal sister don’t ever kill anyone or threaten severe harm if they (which they) don’t pay up their taxes.

alicorn working to directing air traffic

"alicorn working to direct air traffic"

If you did asked, your boss . . . to you directly Mr. Marshal.

"If you did ask your boss to continue . . . you directly, Mr. Marshal." Note the added comma.

And, of course, look at all the charity work he could do with that unused income. You know, making sure hospital bills get paid, orphans get nice presents during the holidays and nice clothes at the start of every school year. Paying college tuition for deserving ponies, etc.

scared off Euphoria and his cult at a safe, out of

"scared off Euphoria and his cult to a safe, out of"

security guards after giving them

"security guards, after giving them" add the comma.

at all like how a father would try to life Mt. Everhoof.

do you mean "at all, like how a father would try to lift Mt. Everhoof." Why would anyone try to lift a mountain that's clearly too heavy? Trying to lift something they think they can lift, I get. But a mountain?

How do know that?

"How do you know that?"

don’t have that much ponies to talk

"don’t have that many ponies to talk"

slowly getting used the Stockhoof syndrome.

Not sure what you're saying here.

but if on the invite that they’ll

"but if on the invite they say that they’ll"

as if he walked in his dead grandmother

"as if he walked in on his dead grandmother"

that’s embattled

"that’s emblazoned" (embattled means means a place preparing or fighting a war).

made five years reservations for this!”

I think you mean "made reservations five years ago for this!”

four stallions in suites that I’m fairy convinced that they’re made out of nothing, but steroid muscles came charging in,

"four stallions in suits that I’m fairly convinced were made out of nothing but steroid muscles came charging in," (lose the comma)

just some gone off the street going about his day

" just someone off the street going about his day"

Maybe my story might give others to see.[/quote
"Maybe my story might get others to see."]

And they're tight. This does have potential for a sequel. Especially after the sisters see his existential crisis with the writer!

9182043
Just do control-F and copy/paste the piece I quoted, it should find it immediately. All you need is a couple of words for that. It works great in the FimFiction on-line editor

“Oh for the love of…” I watched as she marched over to the sliding doors to pull open the blinds and push the door open to call out. “Now you all listen here! He’s not the chosen one, he’s a very stubborn colt! Now go away!”

Life of Brian reference if I ever saw one :rainbowlaugh:

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