Ever since the return of Nightmare Moon, Princess Celestia has noticed that her student and her friends have been getting into a lot of trouble, so, naturally, she worries that they may end up getting hurt while they're unable to protect themselves. Thus, she assigns a very special guard to keep watch over them, without them knowing, of course.
Ever since he'd met the Princess, he'd been serving her faithfully, how could he not? But when she tells him to head down to Ponyville to keep her student and her friends safe, he can't help but wonder if this is the best use of his time.
Unfortunately for Emerald Skies, a job is a job, and he'd be loathe to ignore an order from his Princess.
Chapters (41)
You have my interest.
Good Luck.
I'll be waiting for the next chapter.
9031912
Thanks for the luck, really. And I'm certainly looking forward to posting more for this story, so don't expect any delays any time soon.
I really hope you enjoy it later down the line.
Good start, looking for more.
Great chapter, keep it up
9034049
You don't need to tell me twice!
They forgot to warn him about pinkie pie
Acctually, no I didn't even notice... and please don't call us that
9046015
Understood. Although my point does stand. Chapters will be getting longer. I know I'd be sad if a story I was reading updated, only to have a couple hundreds words less than what I was expecting.
Still, I'm glad people are actually reading this anyways, so I've no room to argue, really.
9045962
The warning wouldn't have been enough anyways.
9046197
True, but a warning always helps
Nice! Liked and followed.
Interesting beginning. Emerald is one of the more original characters I have seen on this site; a guard that’s openly rebellious towards the crown, albeit just slightly. Though, it is said that he is a thestral, but Luna implied that he can breathe fire... that has me a little confused about his abilities.
Anyway, so far I can’t really complain about the pacing, the flow or the atmosphere. You seem to have a knack for mildly poetic descriptions, though make sure to not overdo it. The description of every color present on Celestia’s body packed into one paragraph was close to losing some of its sheen, especially if the reader is reminded twice during said paragraph that her mane was waving in an invisible wind. Same thing goes for the bits of lore about thestrals; they were interesting, but close to affecting the pace of the story.
Grammar and spelling were more or less solid with quite a lot of recurring issues and inconsistencies in direct speech—that is completely normal for a first story though—and also a few messed up its/it’s.
All in all, this seems off to a good start. I’m curious what the next chapters may bring.
9059818
I had a feeling I might be going a little overboard sometimes, but I personally can never tell. As for the its/it's, I've always had an issue with that. I can never tell which one is right for the given situation. The pacing for this story is one of the things I'm absolutely terrified about! I worry that either I'm going too quick or too slow, and I guess it ends up showing itself in those little paragraphs that I never catch.
Oh this made me happy. I was worried that Emerald would come across poorly to you guys, and it's nice to see someone happy about his character, even if his character has yet to fully come into the light. As for the whole breathing fire thing... Traditionally, thestrals are bat-ponies, however in this Equestria, thestrals are a little more complicated. I can't into the details as to why that is, because if I do it will spoil a pretty big plot point in the future, but don't worry, it will come up.
Thank you for the criticism, I'll definitely be considering it as I go along. I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far!
9060540
You are welcome! I’m glad to help and nitpick where I can
And I see with the thestrals, I’ll keep them being more than bat ponies in mind while reading further.
as soon as I finished this chapter on reflex I went to click next chapter... I spent too much time on this website
Thank you for answering my question that I didn't ask................ are you psychic?!?!?!
9075300
9077271
Ohohohoho that's gonna be fun
Oh man, those brothers are in for some pain, lotsa pain; the physical kind.
Noice
hmmmmmm.
9109505
Fixed. Thanks, never would've caught that.
Stupid spelling check.
And now I wait another week (that feels like 5 years) for the next chapter
9122697
)
Yep! (Don't worry, it feels that long to me too.
9122771
Really? When I'm working on something, months go by like they are days.
9122981
I love writing this story. Every second spent away from it feels stretched to me.
Well that was a fast 5 years... time for 5 more ugg
Yay we finally get some more snippets of backstory for Emerald. Also if I could I would travel to the bullies houses and smack some sense into them.
I ship Twilight/emerald!
9149868
In the defense of our dear Purplesmart, I'm sure a lot of people/ponies/thestrals would gladly rally behind you .
Have I mentioned that I totally DESPISE unsolicited matchmakers?
9150955
Hey, calm down bud. Everyone can think whatever they want about this story and the characters involved. No point in getting irritated about it. If you dont like something someone says, then you just shouldn't bother with it.
Sorry if it seems like I'm overstepping my bounds in saying this, but I don't see a reason why this should turn into an argument, even a small one. Matchmaking is just their way of enjoying the story, and I certainly hope that you enjoy it as well, regardless of how other people do so. Again, sorry if this is going a bit overboard, there's just little reason for us all to angry over something.
9151013
Don't worry about it, I wasn't angry at you or anyone here. It was just Rarity and Pinkie.
9151032
Oh. Wow. Don't I feel embarrassed... I totally got the wrong idea. I guess I shouldve figured, but... I know I just published this chapter, but im editing like the next six all at once so I completely forgot that it was this chapter that this popped up in. Yikes, sorry about all that. Now if you'll excuse me I'm just... gonna go crawl into a hole for awhile...
9151093
Haha, now don't you feel silly? But for real though, this story has been interesting thus far, and I shall continue reading. My only major complaint up to this point is that your style is a bit weird. The way you choose to emphasize certain parts by writing multiple sentences in a row that have the same length is a technique I use myself. However, you seem to use it a lot. Like, a lot a lot. And the way you divide up paragraphs is strange.
So really, it's subjective, and it does give this story a unique feel. I probably wouldn't give it a passing grade if the style didn't suit the main character so well. Different, concise, and emphatic. Anyways, I am enjoying it, so thanks!
9152398
Its good to hear that you're enjoying it so far! And thanks for sharing your thoughts, as well. Its great to hear feedback.
As it stands, you're right. My style is weird, and pretty much everything I'm doing is odd, but, as you've already guessed, its because of how well it fits Emerald. Surely someone with more talent/skill could've done it better, but i believe I've done as good a job as I can, and I'm immensely happy that it hasn't turned away too many people yet. Still, thank you for the feedback, I love receiving it, since, in the end, it makes me better as a writer, even if only a little at a time.
And yes, immensely silly.
9152871
I try to leave the most constructive feedback I can when I finish/catch up to a story. You aren't treading any new ground conceptually except possibly the species of the main character. I haven't seen an interpretation like that yet, so good on you. I was caught up in the odd rhythm your writing took on and was surprised when it did not break my immersion. Additionally, your characterization is quite nice. A classic fimfic done well with an artistic twist. (Sorry if I sound like I am critiquing a meal, I am something of a cook as well, lol.)
Well then, we all know that the more excited you are for something the more it feels like time is being slowed down, but it felt like an entire millennium had passed before you posted this.... I'm enjoying this story way too much.
9163594
You have no idea how happy reading that makes me.
I’m liking this chapter.
This is not the direction I foresaw this story taking, not that I thought about it too hard. Iron Will and Starlight are going to be changed around too? I don't dislike that, the minor antagonists always felt weak and cliched to me anyway, so I appreciate when a story doesn't try to explain away those actions, but fill them in more like you have done here.
9164225
I'm glad I could throw around a curve ball or two, however minor they may be. It wouldn't do any good to have a story where my dear readers could predict everything that was going to happen, right?
But it's only been one week since that chapter was released?
9177542
I want to believe so badly that you're just messing around, but incase you aren't, time irl has no meaning in the story.
9177637
Yeah I'm just messing around
I'm surprised you didn't have it go in this direction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18V_ulgzQoY :D :D :D