• Member Since 2nd Jul, 2018
  • offline last seen Saturday

Voxum


I like ponies. Ponies are cute.

E

She didn't think anypony would notice. Nopony ever had before. Not her parents, not her brother, no one.

But then somepony did.

She wasn't ready to be confronted about it.

In hindsight, she was happy that somepony had.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 38 )

good short story...still waiting for my champion of harmony update but good short story.

Plus, she was certain her friends would've warned her if there were any shady characters in town.

Luna, Trixie, Starlight, Discord, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Twilight Sparkle, Neighsay, Cozy Glow, Chrysalis and her changelings...

The other f-foals though I was weird

*Thought.

She had to admit, this was a first. In all her life, she'd never had somepony else help bring her down from one of her attacks. She had enough incidences in her youth of rushing to the nearest isolated spot, a closet, cupboard or, if she was lucky enough to be at home, her room, where she'd curl into a ball for the foreseeable future, begging and praying to someone-anyone-that it would be over soon.

Personally, I tend to have anxiety attacks before exams, and having to talk to unknown people is quite difficult for me. Over the phone, there's no facial cues or anything to try to 'calculate' a response from; in person, I don't want to seem weird or misjudge a facial cue.
My mum tries to help me through those anxiety attacks, but it takes a while - I tend to start stressing out a couple days before exams, and it only really subsides in the middle of one.

the-they would take my books and rip them up in front of me

Oh, and this happened to me, once. Year 8; at that time, I was getting bullied for being different and being a loner (I never liked sports, and during recess and lunch I'd go read instead of playing handball or whatever) and a bit of an easy crier. One time, one bully tried to take my Harry Potter book from me, and I of course tried to keep ahold of it - the previous year, the same bully (I think) had swiped my entire pencilcase while I wasn't looking, and that case was never found again, so I might have been worried the same thing would happen to my book. This, of course, led to the book tearing; since I loved my books at the time, I was utterly distraught, and clutching my torn book, headed straight for the middle school reception area. My Year 7 homeroom teacher, who was a rather cool guy, noticed and got angry on my behalf; this led to the Year 8 year coordinator getting involved too, from memory.
Luckily, bullying mostly subsided in Year 9, and all but disappeared in Year 10 and after.

I would love to see more

That last sentence makes me curious for a sequel. In the meantime, have an upvote

Since this story is in the "I Just Want a Comment" group, I thought you would want attempts at substantive comments.

I have both some complaints and some positive observations.

Because the story has more good points than problems, the difficulties stick out more and I'm more likely to comment on them. I'm sorry if that seems harsh.

Your spelling, grammar, and puctuation are generally good. Hurray! :twilightsmile: I can usually understand what you are describing, etc

There is an exception to the understandability for me, though:

She'd never needed to re-shelve or even sort the books in the library since making it when she was first given the Canterlot Public Library to study in.

I don't even understand what this sentence is supposed to mean in context. What does "making it" mean? How did being given the Canterlot Public Library to study in prevent her from needing to re-shelve or even sort the books in the Ponyville Library?

That section of the story around this sentence leaves me wondering how you think reshelving even works in a library. Do you think it normally involves taking all the books down from the shelves, mixing them up, and then reshelving them again? :twilightblush: I'll admit that would make an interesting event that might be an opportunity to help us better understand the character who for some reason chooses to do it. But if you don't somehow let the reader know about it, it didn't happen.

I think your idea about a character who flinches when other ponies laugh seems like a good idea for a story. I also think I think I would have noticed in the show if Twilight Sparkle had that habit.

I think if you want such a character in your story, you might do better to create an original character.

Stone Heart steadily grew more emotive as days went by, the constant interactions with a trusted friend helping the stallion come out of his shell.

Earlier in the story I had thought he was supposed to be some kind of autistic. If he was, I don't think "recovery" or "improvement" from autism is as simple as "coming out of his shell." You can go read about autism to learn more.

10311919
Thank you for the criticism! I always appreciate it when someone, anyone, takes the time out of their day to read/comment anything on my works!

I don't even understand what this sentence is supposed to mean in context. What does "making it" mean? How did being given the Canterlot Public Library to study in prevent her from needing to re-shelve or even sort the books in the Ponyville Library?

"Making it" refers to Twilight creating the organizational structure she is referencing, the one that made it so that "Re-Shelving Day" was optional. In case you missed it, here are the parts in question:

The system she had in place was designed to be easy to update and use. She'd never needed to re-shelve or even sort the books in the library since making it when she was first given the Canterlot Public Library to study in.

I hope this helps any misunderstandings.

That section of the story around this sentence leaves me wondering how you think reshelving even works in a library. Do you think it normally involves taking all the books down from the shelves, mixing them up, and then reshelving them again? :twilightblush: I'll admit that would make an interesting event that might be an opportunity to help us better understand the character who for some reason chooses to do it. But if you don't somehow let the reader know about it, it didn't happen.

I understand that this can be a little confusing. During the story, Twilight makes a narrative comment about how "Re-Shelving Day" started when one of her experiments in the library knocked every single book from their shelves onto the ground, forcing her to, well, re-shelve them. She found she liked the work, and made it a weekly event she used to sort through the previous week's events. Here is the part where it's mentioned:

No, the only reason Sunday became 'Re-Shelving Day' was to relax. She wasn't sure why it helped her calm down like it did, but she was grateful she'd discovered it after a rather explosive test back in Canterlot knocked everything off the shelves.

I hope this helps.

I think your idea about a character who flinches when other ponies laugh seems like a good idea for a story. I also think I think I would have noticed in the show if Twilight Sparkle had that habit.

I think if you want such a character in your story, you might do better to create an original character.

I understand completely, and I even agree. Also, this story is tagged as AU, so some things are absolutely different, even if I was a bit unsure if it needed the tag. The reason I didn't create an OC for that trait is because, well, I really do think it fits with Twilight.

Earlier in the story I had thought he was supposed to be some kind of autistic. If he was, I don't think "recovery" or "improvement" from autism is as simple as "coming out of his shell." You can go read about autism to learn more.

I didn't intend for him to be autistic. I simply gave him the same difficulties I've had, though, admittedly, I have been told I appear autistic myself, so I should've been aware he might appear as such. I apologize for not realizing this.

My own emotive capabilities were lacking through most of my life, and it was only through interacting with others that I learned how to properly mimic what emotions I believed I was or should be feeling. I simply felt Stone Heart would do the same, now that he was interacting with others more often.

If I am wrong about this, I'm sorry. I was simply using my own experiences, believing it would fit the character. I will definitely do more research next time something like this happens.

Again, thank you very much for the comment! I always appreciate them, even if I don't respond to them!

10311986

My own emotive capabilities were lacking through most of my life, and it was only through interacting with others that I learned how to properly mimic what emotions I believed I was or should be feeling. I simply felt Stone Heart would do the same, now that he was interacting with others more often.

I'm fairly sure that learning to mimic emotions is not what most people mean by someone "coming out of their shell."

EDIT:
But maybe an autistic person learning to mimic emotions might learn to mimic someone "coming out of their shell." Mimicing is not the real thing, though.

10312004
You are correct, of course. I've decided to alter the wording a bit to reflect this.

Stone Heart steadily grew more emotive as days went by, the constant interactions with a trusted friend seemed to help the stallion come out of his shell.

Thank you for pointing this out.

Good story...nice idea..., nicely presented... it's just that..., it DEFINITELY feels like it needs more though...IT FELT A LITTLE FAST AS A ONE-OFF...

Btw... did ANYPONY!!! ELSE want them to end up.together!?!?!?

Hey, you know what, this was a good read! I enjoyed it. Not too angsty, it delves into this version of Twilight's personality quite a bit, and it wasn't too unrealistic I suppose. I've definitely met people like that. I wouldn't mind some more honestly! :twilightsheepish:
Also, don't let the pressure get to you from people wanting more Champion of Harmony (if you get any pressure anyway). You do you, and if you just want to let out short bursts of creativity in one-shots, do it! Don't let others hold ya down. Have a good day :twilightsmile:

Definitely interested in a sequel.

Going out on a limb and assuming at minimum Rarity took their friendship to mean that she needed to get to work on wedding attire.

10311986
It was an interesting story, and a nice interaction between two individuals with severe social anxiety coming together to overcome their problems.

Though I will say that, in my opinion, you have nothing to apologize for. If someone reads into something and assumes it's about autism, it is not your fault for their misconception: that blame lies with them. I did not see autism here, simply a social anxiety that I myself experienced when I was young as well. It also took me some time to learn to synthesize emotions appropriate to the situations I was in.

In the end, it was a fine story. Be proud of that.

Good story! Keep it up!

SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL!

I wouldn't mind reading more

Wow...wholsome and insightful. :twilightsmile:
I always thought of Twilight's eccentricities as just little quirks, but this story actually got me to think that they may have a reason.

I could see Twilight struggling with Anxiety or OCD. Her need for order, her perfectionist nature, the fact she's easily razzled, anti-social tendencies...this all paints a very sympathetic picture of Twilight. I wouldn't even put it past the show to say that was the intention. :scootangel:

I wanna thank you for making me reevaluate our favorite book horse, and if she does struggle with anxiety and still goes out into the world to make friends and save the world... then she's far braver than I gave her credit for.

It took years to stop flinching or growling at several different phrases, even after graduation. Everyone thought it was hilarious to "trigger" me and the teachers refused to do anything. Depressingly relatable fic for sure.

Jeez, I went through the same stuff but still...ugh...to write about it like this...

Curious you didn't mention how post cutie mark panic atta is for Twilight included wild magic

Now I need to know the rest.

This is very cute. Social Anxiety Twilight and Autism Pony Stone Heart very naturally seem to start, for lack of a better term, leaning in to one another, and I can definitely imagine the two being close friends. I imagine they'd both end up playing a role that many people in these kinds of relationships IRL do- mutual advocacy, where each of them helps the other by ensuring those around them understand what they need to, things that can be difficult to explain. Its the kind of relationship that can so easily be mistaken for romantic, but doesn't have to be. It's a different kind of closeness.

An interesting story. :twilightsmile:

I just can't help but feel that the stuttering could have been done a bit better. It gets... hmm... repetitive, after a while.

Again, though, an interesting story. I'm ready to tear into anyone who would dare bully Twilight – and Stone Heart, too.

What a neat story in this little one-shot.

I will be waiting for this to hit the Feature Box.
Oh, it already has.

Good job :ajsmug:
A believable slice-of-life.

So wholesome.
I needed this.

I feel like there is a real-life experience story sitting under a very thin coat of pony paint here. Are you going to tell it to us in your blog-posts here on FIMfics, or no?

Dawww. That was so sweet.

Good story. I can really connect with both characters as I was the kid in school who didn't have friends and got bullied a lot. I still deal with social anxiety to this day.

What a great continuation of the thread from Lesson Zero and ammending fences. Very few people get that Twilight is socially awkward and stunted, but not inept.

Nicely done friend

Good stuff. I can really emphathise with Twilight and her problems.

DumbDog
Moderator

good story :)

10312854

I do believe it can be very difficult for outside observers to tell the difference between an inborn difficulty exercising 'normal' sociability, and active self-sheltering from it.

Wonders what will happen when they get the duplicate and updated files for everypony in the Crystal Empire

I wouldn’t mind seeing a sequel.

Login or register to comment