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Well, there we go: Fluttershy transformed into a vampire again. But this time, not at Ponyville, but inside the walls of Canterlot High.
In a stormy night, with a vampire on the loose, will Sunset and her friends survive until the Sun reappears?
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This is really well written!
Hope Pinkie's all right though. The end was creepy
Interesting scene...
Wait, now Raribat? The horror, the horror!
This chapter's better than the last! I'm interested in seeing more
8761277
Hehe, glad you like it!
Noo not Pinkie...
Fluttershy's not that creepy, but Rarity being a vampire really scares me
Terrific chapter!
But, didn't "Flutterbat" only feed on fruit juice?
8766513
Erm... In Equestria, yes. But I wanted her to be more vampiric.
Woah. It's getting intense!
Can't wait to see the look on Trixie's face!
A good start, I have to say...
*distorted*
Well, that only makes sense. Of all the girls, Rarity is the most proper choice to become a vampire victim - and a vampire herself! She just has that aristocratic properness to her
"nocturnal" is the word you're looking for her. "Nocturne" refers to a specific type of musical composition.
That said, I am enjoying this pretty well.
One last suggestion for this chapter, though. You use the word "scream" a lot for the vampire's cries, and I think some variety would be good. Try some synonyms, like "before Fluttershy screeched and rushed at them" and "a loud shriek" instead of repeating "scream". A bit of variety goes a long way!
"unnormally" isn't a word. "Abnormally" or "uncontrollably" would work better here.
Still, wondering how this'll all wrap up!
Sequel hook? ;-)
8779644
Yeah, I guess I love that word.
8779669
Maybe.
8779678
Vampire AJ would be something. It's different than the usual "werewolf Applejack" I've seen in a few stories...
8779686
Hohoho! You are so close!
8779687
XD All right then. Guess I'll just have to wait for the next installment to drop.
I bookmarked and favorited this story a while ago. I remember that I did read it but I never left a review for some reason.
So now I am leaving my thoughts.
I personally really enjoyed reading this story. The character development was really good and the chapters flowed really well.
If people haven't read this story yet, I highly recommend checking it out.
9165091
It's ok, that can happen.
And that's a nice review. Thanks for your time!
9165095 You are very welcome. Thank you for writing the story. I enjoyed reading it. :)
9165096
Heh, you're welcome.
9165097 Yay!
That was amazing! Here's a fave from me!
9256194
Thanks!
9256198
No probs man.
I forgot to upvote this. Mistake corrected.
9277937
Heh, no problem.
So I'm confused. The image is of Fluttershy(bat), yet you have the Equestria Girls tag. So is the story and Equestria Girls fic or a MLP:FiM fic?
9475418
It's a Equestria Girls story, only that I couldn't find any suitable EQG image of Flutterbat.
9475688
images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/5e9acff2-e8fb-4672-8a33-291f2c848abe/dbwo56z-2d735d17-681d-499d-aa11-2636985d7527.png/v1/fill/w_1024,h_683,q_80,strp/fierce_by_wubcakeva_dbwo56z-fullview.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9NjgzIiwicGF0aCI6IlwvZlwvNWU5YWNmZjItZThmYi00NjcyLThhMzMtMjkxZjJjODQ4YWJlXC9kYndvNTZ6LTJkNzM1ZDE3LTY4MWQtNDk5ZC1hYTExLTI2MzY5ODVkNzUyNy5wbmciLCJ3aWR0aCI6Ijw9MTAyNCJ9XV0sImF1ZCI6WyJ1cm46c2VydmljZTppbWFnZS5vcGVyYXRpb25zIl19.ElxSxBug321PerJGZAZGD8ljeVwCy7ZIcgQAgs0YDJs
How about this one?
9682291
Oh!
9682370
Suitably intimidating, and E-rated, I'd say (or U, as we say in Britain).
9682376
It's so cool.
9682494
It would also reduce confusion (and delay).
9682501
That's also right.
9682531
Though this story has been around for a while, so I doubt changing the cover art will do much.
9682582
No idea, although sometime in the future, I'll probably write a sequel.
9682624
Well, Nightmare Night 2019 is only four months away...
9687769
Yep, that's right. Not sure if I could try and write something for that day.
9687790
I will be.
oh my goodness, you actually did it: you made a "found-film" story that DOESN'T have a downer ending!! 😆
9784938
Heh, glad you like it!
This was a great story but i got to admit i'm morbidly curious of what happened if they failed and all became vampires. Do you think you can do a dark or bad end? I'm really curious of that outcome
10077504
Huh, I had never thought about it. That sure is an interesting concept.
Although I'm planning to do a sequel for this one, but I'll keep your idea in mind.
10078555
Cool! i look forward to your sequel
I reviewed this, though admittedly it was a long time ago. An EqG version of Flutterbat is an interesting idea, and I like the unreliable video cameras. What lets it down is the technical aspect. For example, the Lavender Unicorn Syndrome (overusing descriptions for characters rather than their names) and a general clunkiness, eg:
I think smoothing out things like that and giving this a good proofread would have better brought out the potential it already has.
10193481
In fact, I remember telling you I had found your review by myself.
Again, thank you for taking your time to read and review my story. I appreciate your advice.
My opinion on this it's okay not my favorite short story so all in all it's meh.
11368896
Oh...
Well, at least you took some time to read it and leave a comment, unlike the people who simply downvote any story because of any reason they may have.