Sunset Shimmer thought she had finally succeeded - all her life, she was pushed to be the best, to let no one stand in her way, to claw her way to the top. She thought she finally achieved everything she could ever want - a school under her iron fist and a seemingly perfect plan to prove her worth to Equestria. She thought she was finally happy.
Weeks later, she realizes she has made a grave mistake. She thought she was finally happy, finally able to show the world she wasn't a failure; little did she know how wrong she was.
Now swearing to become a better person and finally achieving in fixing the destruction she caused, she feels she is on the road to recovery...or is she?
When she comes to the rescue of two of the people she's constantly tormented in the past, truths will be revealed, tensions will rise, and emotions will reach their climax. Can these two so-called "friends" of hers help her in her darkest hour, or will Sunset truly fail to discover the Magic of Friendship?
This... This was interesting. I'm looking forward to more.
It had a few moments that were kinda like o_O -- most notably the slow-mo nooooooo thing you'd expect to see in a cheesy movie -- but otherwise it read well enough. The recap at the beginning was kinda unnecessary, given that most of us already know all about Sunset. The subtle lead-ins to the reveal at the end paid off well.
As someone who may partake in that particular bad habit from time to time, I'm not insulted or anything. You handled the reveal better than most. That said, the real tricky stuff comes with writing the emotional/addictive aspects of self-harm. This isn't something that good friends and a "you need to stop" can get rid of overnight. Those kinds of urges don't go away.
If you want to see an example of how to portray self-harm effectively and respectfully (that isn't written by me /ego), I highly recommend this story:
- Equestria Girls
- Dark
Sunset Shimmer is in her apartment, alone, because it’s for the best. But it’s fine. She knows what she’s doing.So yeah, I'll be interested to see how you manage these things going forward.
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Thank you for your compliments and suggestions.
In response to the beginning, I realize it was mostly recap but I wanted to place motivation behind Sunset's past/feelings; I wanted to expand the insight more beyond Sunset just simply saying "Ok, I'm sorry. I'm good now." and also alluding to the more heavier thoughts and subject matter later in the chapter.
As for your other point, I completely agree that this isn't an issue that can be fixed overnight. While I'm not going to dive too deep into the recovery process (more focusing on the inevitable climax and the payoff afterwards), the second part of this story is most certainly going to acknowledge that recovery is a long, multi-stepped process that doesn't simply go away - but rather diminishes with healthy release, services, and support.
Thank you for taking the time to comment though. Hope you enjoy the second half of the story when I release it (hopefully soon).
So far I think this is really good, I can't wait to see more. I'm curious what you have planned, is Luna going to be a big help to Sunset?
Really enjoyed this, can't wait to read more
Thank you
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Well, that was surprisingly faster than I expected, but the wait is over! (I had it mostly finished earlier, but editing went by pretty smoothly.) Feel free to check out the rest if interested.
What is the most important step a man can take? The next one. Always the next step.
Well...
I read the first chapter yesterday and I was ready to strap in for a 50k minimum exploration of Sunset's depression anxiety and mental illness, and it's over.
That's not to say it was bad, far from it, it was an enjoyable read, it was just a bit quick for the subject matter, I thought. It would have been nice to see those three weeks instead of skipping them, or to see Sunset's therapy sessions, or to see how the others become friends with her.
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Yeah, I’m sorry, but with certain events picking back up (I luckily found a small break here), I didn’t want to start a long story only to not finish it and leave it hanging. Anything I post here for a while will be relatively shorter. My apologies though - definitely recommend the fics I posted in the author’s note of the first chapter.
Enjoyed it
This was tragic but in the end it came out nice and heartwarming
That's... Luna is confessing to being criminally negligent in this situation. She, an authority figure in charge of the safety of the students, knowingly and willingly allows one student to assault another. If this was to go to the cops, (or worse, the parents) she'd probably be just as up a creek without a paddle as Gilda.
Otherwise this was an enjoyable read. Really dig the addition of Lyra and Bonnie into the little group of friends!
I loved it. Way better than I could do. I commend you.
Good story. Handles the subject of depression and anxiety fairly well. It's a little bit short for my taste considering the subject, but not every story involving those particular feelings needs to be a 20,000+ word deep dive exploring the ins and outs of such strong and powerful emotions. Sometimes it's just good to read a story that's short and sweet.
This story smacked your get an upvote
Tsundere-shy, I see...
That's my assertive girl!!!!
This was an excellent story! There were a few places with word choice that made me raise an eyebrow, but nothing that took me out of the story. Great work!
Brilliantly written!
I really loved reading this and Pinkie and Fluttershy are so cute!