• Published 12th Jan 2018
  • 4,355 Views, 124 Comments

I Am Awkward (Yellow) - J Carp



Two shy, yellow ponies meet and hit it off. But friendship problems don't stop just because romance is on the table.

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13
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Mellow Yellow

Fluttershy worried momentarily that she was finding this whole situation amusing for dark, mean reasons, and she was secretly still upset about the way everything had gone. But no, she reminded herself: Rainbow Dash was up in the early morning trying to mentally prepare for a private, all-day seminar about the importance of macaroni art. That was just objectively funny.

Rainbow grimaced and sipped her espresso. "I mean, I do feel bad," she said. "I totally left her out to dry when she was just trying to help. But I didn't know she was going to insist on... this."

Rarity looked at Rainbow in concern. "I just have a hard time understanding how even she could talk about macaroni art for eight hours," she said.

"She gave me the schedule," Rainbow replied wearily. "An hour on glue, an hour on refrigerator hanging. Two hours on just 'respecting the construction paper.'"

"Oh yes," Fluttershy said, nodding sagely. "You have to respect the construction paper."

Rainbow glared. "Hardee har har." She gulped down the rest of her espresso. "Okay, I have to go. Wish me luck." She turned, then looked over her shoulder. "Oh, Rares. I don't really remember everything I did, so let me know if I gotta make anything up to you, all right? I'm probably going to be on this apology tour for a while."

"I'm fine, Rainbow, but thank you," Rarity said. "Say hello to Pinkie for us."

"Will do." Rainbow hesitated. "...see you around, Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy nodded. "Yes. Maybe... come by my cottage afterwards, if you're not too sleepy? Moon Dancer and I were going to go to the bookshop. You can come with us, if you want."

"Yeah." Rainbow smiled confidently, but Fluttershy could tell she was relieved, too. "I'll do that. Okay, bye." She darted off into the sky.

Fluttershy and Rarity gathered the coffee cups and began on their way to the place the path split between Carousel Boutique and the castle. They walked in silence for a few moments.

"Thank you for getting coffee with me," Fluttershy said finally.

"Oh, of course, I love a break in the mornings," Rarity replied. She grinned. "I'm so glad to see you and Rainbow getting along again."

Fluttershy nodded appreciatingly.

Rarity's grin became an outright smirk. "You thought she had a crush on you."

"Eep!" Fluttershy nearly dropped the coffees she was balancing on her back. "No! I... thought she MIGHT. ...Is that okay?"

"Yes, darling." Rarity smiled wistfully at her friend. "I thought she did, too. She probably does, even if it's not romantic."

Fluttershy blushed, but she nodded. "Maybe. I might have that kind of crush on her, too." She paused, looking down at the ground for a moment. "Rarity, do you ever worry about the things she was saying? About us not being friends when we get special someponies?"

Rarity faltered a half-step but quickly recovered. "Well... I'm lucky, I suppose," she said. "It isn't really a problem for me. I get so enthusiastic for romance and intrigue, I can integrate that into my friendships, but some ponies can't really do that so easily."

"Is that why you get so excited about talking about Moon Dancer? So we could still be friends even after I started dating?"

"Fluttershy, I get excited about Moon Dancer because she is charming, because she is good to you, and because she is letting your brother and myself give her a makeover. But even if she wasn't so wonderful, I'd probably try my best."

"I think you'd probably like anypony I dated."

Rarity smiled. "Maybe so. But I'm still quite grateful to you for making it so easy."

Fluttershy gave a blushing smile back. She had meant it to just be a blush, but the smile came so easily, it just appeared on its own.


"Twilight?" Moon Dancer was always hesitant to interrupt her employer's conversations with Starlight, but she seemed quickly encouraged by their welcoming expressions. "Um, I forgot to tell you, I had a chance to interview your friend in the Everfree last week. The zebra."

"Oh yes!" Twilight said happily, before noticing her friend's wavering tone. "What's wrong, was she unhelpful?"

"No! ...no. She's probably the best source I've ever encountered for Everfree plant life. And she was very kind and welcoming." Moon Dancer scratched the back of her head. "It's just... uh... what's with the rhyming?"

"Oh. Yeahhhhh, I don't know." Twilight blinked, suddenly alarmed. "Wait, you didn't say anything about it, did you?"

"Of course not!" Moon Dancer exclaimed. "I just... I couldn't tell if it was a deeply important zebra cultural norm, or some kind of unfortunate psychological compulsion." She frowned crossly. "And she rhymed 'lichen' with 'liken,' which... I don't know, it seems like a cheat to me."

"Huh, that's actually hard," Starlight said. "Piken. Riken. Biken. Oh, biking?"

"Spiking!" Spike declared, strolling into the room. He pointed back over his shoulder. "Hey, MD, Fluttershy's here with some coffee for you."

Fluttershy poked her head through the doorway. "Actually, it's for everypony?" she said. "I mean... if you want it." She crept in, a tray of coffees on her back. "We all just had to stay up so late over the weekend, I thought you might want some."

"Wow, thanks so much!" Twilight enthused, levitating a cup towards herself. "I'll never say no to coffee."

"Yeah," Starlight agreed, taking one of the coffees. "Though, when you think about it, we basically did all have a three-day weekend."

Moon Dancer gave Fluttershy a quick smooch and took the last cup. "Is this going to be a regular thing? Stopping by to keep me from getting too buried in my work? I won't complain."

Fluttershy smiled. "Maybe."

They all took a savoring sip, appreciating the taste and the company in silence.

"Oh," Starlight said with genuine innocence. "How did your date go? You guys got to have it, right?"

Before she even finished speaking, Moon Dancer and Fluttershy were both fire-engine red. They continued reddening. "It went well," Moon Dancer said. Fluttershy just nodded vigorously, her mouth and eyes shut tight.

Twilight checked that Spike was indeed perplexed by the couple's behavior, and she noted with some dismay that Starlight seemed equally baffled. "I'm glad," Twilight said simply.

Starlight looked back and forth among the ponies in the room. "Um, am I missing something? Why..."

"Hey!" Moon Dancer interrupted. "On a very deliberately different note, I just realized something. This Rainbow Dash thing was an actual, real-life Elements Of Harmony Friendship Crisis, wasn't it?"

"Um, I don't reaaaally know if that's a thing," Twilight said. "It was just... some ponies working out issues. It's not special or magical, any moreso than any other friendship event, anyway."

"No no, she's right," Starlight argued, always jumping at any opportunity to demonstrate her friendship expertise. "This sort of thing happens around here a lot."

"Right," Moon Dancer agreed, nodding. "And so, there has to have been a moral, right?

"A moral?"

"Yeah, like in the book! A lesson!" Moon Dancer seemed absolutely delighted. "Come on, friendship specialist, what did we learn?"

Twilight narrowed her eyes. "Are you making fun of me?"

But Starlight stepped up. "Oh, I can do this. Um... 'As you get older, friendships require more effort... they aren't just default anymore. So you have to prioritize them.'"

"I think it's more about trust," Twilight said, shaking her head. "Something about, 'You should talk to your friends instead of stewing about it if you have a problem.'"

They all thought in silence for a moment.

Spike raised his claw. "'It's perfectly okay to eat food you find on the ground.'"

Twilight narrowed her eyes further. "That is not the moral, Spike."

Fluttershy closed her eyes and announced, "'Aye-ayes might seem creepy and strange, but they're actually very sweet creatures.'"

Twilight sighed. "I'm not so sure you guys are taking friendship studies very seriously."

"'Dear Princess Celestia,'" Moon Dancer said, "'Fluttershy is cute.'"

"Guys!" Twilight stomped her hoof in frustration. "Don't make fun of friendship lessons!"

They all looked around at each other, only Fluttershy with the decency to look ashamed.

"Okay," Moon Dancer said, "That works. 'Don't make fun of friendship lessons.'"

Starlight and Spike snorted with laughter, and Fluttershy giggled softly.

Twilight flew dramatically into the center of the group and landed amongst them with a thud. "No," she growled. "I'm the princess of friendship, and here's our lesson: 'Your old pal from school might move to town, and as a result all your other friends might start to get reaaaaaally sarcastic.'" She held her glare for one more second before breaking into a warm grin. "'But she's pretty great anyway.'"

Fluttershy beamed. "I like that." She leaned in and kissed Moon Dancer on her blushing cheek, but then she stopped and looked at Twilight with diffidence. "I mean... the Moon Dancer part. Not the sarcasm part."

Twilight blinked. "Yeah. I... got that. I didn't think you.... yeah. I was trying to say something nice, but it might have been..."

"Oh, no no," Fluttershy sputtered. "I knew that! I just didn't want to..."

Moon Dancer took a step back. "Is this my fault?"

Starlight started walking nervously in place. "I think it might be my fault."

Twilight cringed. "No, I was the one who..."

"Hey!!" They all turned in surprise to see Spike standing with his claws on his hips. "Sheesh, you guys can't have one good moment without awkwarding it all up, can you?"

They all looked at him in silence. Suddenly, slowly, Moon Dancer started to chuckle. Twilight joined in, and soon all the ponies in the room were laughing, probably much harder than was warranted.

Spike looked around at the ponies around him in confusion. "I don't really get what's funny," he said. "This is nicer, but it's still pretty weird."

Moon Dancer wiped tears from her eyes and leaned against Fluttershy with obvious glee. "That sums us up pretty well, I think," she said.

Comments ( 43 )

okay read the chapter tomorrow, but I'm slightly dissapointed to see it's alredy over, I will see if it feels like a good ending or if the ending feels of.

8781778

I am planning a sequel. Or a spin-off about Tsiory's adventures as a young lemur making a fresh start in the big city. One or the other.

Interesting ability of Rainbow when it comes to Flutters. The magic of friendship!!!!!

8781869

I'm going to read the two last chapters now, if you write a sequel, then I would like it to be about the same ponies to be honest. I'm not a fan of the stories that continue with a different cast.

Moon Dancer gave Fluttershy a quick smooch and took the last cup. "Is this going to be a regular thing? Stopping by to keep me from getting too buried in my work? I won't complain."

Maybe it would have been funny if Moon Dancer wouldn't have gotten any coffee in order to make sure she get's the sleep Fluttershy think she needs.

Well it was a nice chapter, not sure if it really feels like an end to me, but it was casual enough.

A very nice ending for a very nice story.

I thought it was an interesting choice that a story about a relationship had so few scenes with the couple themselves. I’m finding that my favorite romances are the ones that focus not just on the couple, but also on the relationship’s effects on everypony around the couple. But yours took it far enough, I think you have more scenes about the effects than about the couple themselves (though I could just be misremembering). Considering the ultimate cause of Rainbow’s behavior, that approach makes a lot of sense in retrospect.

Also, everything would have been so much simpler if they all just used Troll Romance. Fluttershy and Moon Dancer are matesprits, while Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash are moirails. There, problems solved. :P

8784214

Yeah, I noticed this myself about halfway through writing the thing! I think it's because how I look at the show itself: everything's ultimately about friendship between women, passing along the message that girls should support one another. So, I had the idea of writing the story because I thought of the ship and they were so damn cute together, but then I realized I was way more interested in how the friend group reacts to the sudden presence of romance and queerness. (this story was more about the former; the sequel I'm planning has more to do with the latter.)

Anyway, thanks so much for your encouragement and positive comments as I was posting!

Extremely impressive. I thoroughly enjoyed this entire story. I usually like to include some creative criticism whenever I leave gushing comments but I cannot honestly find anything to complain about. In particular I'd like to say that you did a great job with the conflict. I am kinda getting sick of the tendency to make rainbow the antagonist just because she's the quickest to anger of the mane six. Here you actually give a good reason and make it believable. So much so that I think the gotcha moment at the end with Rarity and shy is kinda meant to be a gotcha moment to the reader. If so then bravo cause you had me fooled. Looking forward to the next part.

omg you ship fluttershy and moon dancer! i thought this pairing was just a random idea i'd for plot convenience (mostly read m/m stories, i'm very open minded soul/reader) this over a weekend.
found this story through the sequel in new stories section and decided to read the first one. i'm going to wait till the sequel is finished then i'll read that one. also love your icon pic cranky is such a fun grump.
pm me if you're not too busy:)

You mentioned Moon Dancer's brother and sister-in-law a couple times int his story, but I don't think you told us who they are. I find that bothered me for no good reason, which is silly as the story is very good.

9070470
Their names are, uh... Cadbury Creme-Egg and Honeysuckle Syrup. He's a professional tennis player. She sells cauldrons.

I am not one to give in to hyperbole, so know I mean it when I say this is probably the best story I've read in the past few months.
The romance, the comedy, the drama, it all came together into a tight ball of greatness which had me smiling (and laughing!) throughout the whole story.
If I had to pick something negative, it'd be how odd Discord is portrayed. I enjoyed seeing him as an alien to the rest of the ponies, not fully grasping this friendship thing. However, what we've seen of him shows that he's aware to some degree of societal norms and the nature of interpersonal connections, even if he doesn't care much about them. That stood out to me.
Nevertheless, I absolutely loved this story and can't wait to see what the sequel holds.
:twilightsmile:

8664567
Hey, what's wrong with with a movie thick with levels of meta, deep political discussions and two people screwing in a tree?

That aside, I really liked the story. have a fav.

I'm still trying to figure out if eating ground food is okay.

Why is the cover art here completely different then the cover art for the Equestria Daily version?

9171387
Because the person making the posts at Equestria Daily loves that other picture. I don't disagree.

Fluttershy gave a blushing smile back. She had meant it to just be a blush, but the smile came so easily, it just appeared on its own.

I don't like commenting excessively.
But this was an absolutely magical call back to the beginning of the story.

I feel like you haven't gotten enough good advice and helpful commentary, or nearly enough attention because holy shit!
But serously. My only issues are minor- I don't think I noticed any jarring errors in spelling or punctuation. Just maybe a click or two back from Forward Full Bendix on the pacing and I think you'll be aces.
Slower pacing and maybe a bit more meat? I dunno, it felt just a touch slapdash.

This is such a well written story of romance and friendship! I really enjoyed it. Everyone's personalities were distinct, the relationships are believable and the story is interesting! I'm looking forward to reading the sequel!

That was a wonderful story (and a cute ship). Thank you!

Not an intense, long-form drama full of twists and turns; just a nice self-contained story that's ultimately about friendships and their relationship with adulthood. It's... a lesson I might stand to internalise better myself. :twilightsheepish:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Oh, that was magnificent! A little birdie told me the sequel was hilarious, and since it's not finished, I thought reading the first story in the set would be a good idea. Boy, was it. :D

Mostly, I'm glad I was as wrong about what was up with Rainbow Dash as Fluttershy was. I don't think this would have been quite as good otherwise.

9329369
Oh, thank you!

I never actually thought about Dash's motivations as a twist, because it's just totally natural for me to consider the main themes of any MLP story to be issues of friendship between women rather than romance. But looking back, whoops, I wrote it as a twist, so fair enough there, subconscious.

Magnificent. Great character work, fantastic dramatic arc, adorable Flutterdancer fluff, and some of the best adverb-based humor I've ever read. Thank you immensely for this.

Great story! Thank you
9329369
For recommending it!

9344600
I've never really been able to get a handle on my metier, but yup, "adverb-based humor" sums it right the hell up. I wouldn't mind that being written on my tombstone after I die.

This story was delightful, and I laughed out loud at several points. Thanks for writing.

I like that everyone is afraid to bring up the rhyming.

Somebody remembers I am Curious (Yellow).

Will your next work be Trixie and Starlight and Sunset and Tempest?

(Followed by Willard--"GET HIM-- OH, BUT DON'T HURT HIM TOO BADLY!")

god bless you for this. amazing characterization, GAY PONIES, AND a very niche ship i wouldnt have thought of myself. 11/10

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=lyrics+mellow+yellow+donovan&&view=detail&mid=653304C20F47AC54B430653304C20F47AC54B430&&FORM=VRDGAR

60s slang from the old guy
"electric" or "electrical" = hallucinogenic like LSD or peyote, for instance
"mellow yellow" There is a VERY mildly hallucinogenic drug called "bananadine" in banana peels
So, for awhile, there was a fad for smoking banana peels. Street name = "mellow yellow"
Nothing to do with the soft drink with the same name

For awhile, Donovan was considered England's answer to Bob Dylan
My favorite Donovan song
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=lyrics+first+there+is+a+mountain+donovan&&view=detail&mid=598D498EFAB736F2DA33598D498EFAB736F2DA33&&FORM=VRDGAR

I've reviewed your story HERE!

Cute. This easily feels like it could be in the show, it's very believable. I do appreciate that it didn't turn out the way I had thought going in. It's always good when you don't know where a story is going. I look forward to the sequel. Keep up the good work! :twilightsmile:

H-how can one story be so absolutely incredible?

I interrupted my wife, like, 10 times reading this just to share another hilarious quote with her. Absolutely astounding job.

What's wrong with you?! If you're writing a romance story, don't you know you're supposed to have overwrought drama, with characters doing things like they learned from the Hollywood Academy of Actions People Would Never Do in Real Life?

In all seriousness, it's rare for me to see a fanfiction this fundamentally mature. The characters are all actual living, feeling beings. Moondancer shows a gradual progression in coming out of her shell throughout the story as she continues to interact with Fluttershy and builds up more of a support network. Twilight is surprised to learn Fluttershy is gay, and it's entirely because nopony really ever asked or said anything. It's not Fluttershy's singular fundamental character trait that has to stick out in every scene, it's just something that she happens to be. The Minuette crew is also amazing in how well they're able to handle Moondancer's zoning-out moments and anxieties.

Really the only issue I had that I can think of is Spike. Not the whole running gag about him eating food dropped on the floor, but that he seems to come out of left field a couple of times to move the plot along, such as when he asks 'What day is it?' during the stood-up date sequence. The way he delivers that line sort of gives me the feeling he already has clued in to what is going on, but then immediately disappears from the scene.

Anyways, I'll give the sequel a read in the next day or so.

I am so glad you decided to let it be about Friendship and move on feelings by Rainbow and not something romantic! I just heard the audiodrama on youtube, and I want to say thank you for this fine story:twilightsmile:

I loved every part of this story. The characterisation was dead-on, and the premise, plot, and conclusion were incredibly (and adorably) executed. I loved, laughed, and lived a little bit through this story. There were giggles and tears. Thanks! :twilightsmile:

... oh, and now I ship it. Best awkward couple. :twilightsheepish:

10591555
Basically I just found the Columbo gag overly explicit. It was done well enough that anyone who has watched a few episodes of the show would have guessed it. But then saying the name at the end kind of seems like it goes against the spirit of a reference. Perhaps it’s a personal thing.

10591765
The purpose was to make it subtle at first and then by the end extremely obvious, and then the joke is it's explained long after it becomes clear.

I did not quite pull the joke off.

I've been meaning to get around to reading this, and I just finished it in one go. This was a blast to read. Firstly, the way you captured everyone's characterization was so perfectly spot on it was unreal. Every character felt like that character, like they'd stepped out of the show and onto the pages of your story.

Secondly, I think the way Rainbow Dash reacted was well worth a lesson in and of itself. It's so easy to mistake friendship and romantic love as two separate things, when in reality, if you can't be friends with your lover, you're not going to have a good relationship. My husband is also my best friend, for precisely that reason. So it's an important thing for all of these ponies to learn.

Third, I want to add in my agreement with those who've said this story has a maturity that not many romance stories on this site hold. They felt like real people, not caricatures.

Fourth, Moondancer and Fluttershy is not a pairing I would've expected, but it is adorably sweet and I love it to bits.

Fifth, I was endlessly amused by your depiction of Trixie as just a casual flirt, while Twilight is constantly annoyed with her. It felt like Trixie was hitting on Twilight constantly just for the sake of getting on Twilight's nerves, and that was quite funny.

I need to read the sequels to this. I'm sure there's more I'd have to say if I wasn't half-asleep already. :twilightsheepish:

Did this fic have an audio drama?
Read a reference to it, swore I heard it, but I cant seem to find it, am I blind or has it been taken down?

10626721
It very mysteriously disappeared! I have no idea.

What, no "Yellow Submarine" chapter? :raritydespair:

(I'm only joking; I understand that not every reference can be fit into a story.)

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