• Published 12th Jan 2018
  • 4,352 Views, 124 Comments

I Am Awkward (Yellow) - J Carp

Two shy, yellow ponies meet and hit it off. But friendship problems don't stop just because romance is on the table.

  • ...

Yellow Pages

It was too cold to sit outside, so Rarity and Fluttershy found a table in the corner of the cafe, away from any other patrons. Fluttershy thought she knew why. She had been prepared for this, and although it wasn't something she was completely dreading, it still loomed in her future. It was like having to take a test in school; even if it's a subject you're good at and enjoy, you still know it's coming.

Rarity certainly was dragging things out. She got the most elaborate coffee order Fluttershy had ever seen, and then after she got it, she spent several minutes adding a tiny iota of cream or sugar, tasting her drink, adding more, tasting again, and so forth. Fluttershy looked down at her mint tea. It seemed dreadfully bare, but she couldn't help it. It was her favorite.

Finally, Rarity arranged her drink to her satisfaction. She brought the mug up to her lips and sipped with contentment. "So," she said, peering over the edge of the mug coyly. "Darling."

"Yes, Rarity?"

"Darling." Rarity put her drink down and smacked her lips. "You know, of course, that I would never ask you to talk about something that made you truly uncomfortable."

"Yes, I know that," Fluttershy replied sincerely.

"However, you must also know that I am not above staring at you in silence until you talked about something that made you uncomfortable," Rarity said, grinning. "Perhaps tearing up and sniffling, as well."

"Yes, but Angel Bunny does that a lot, and I'm very good at resisting him."

"Oh, please. Angel Bunny is an amateur compared to me." They laughed softly, and Rarity's expression got a bit more serious. "All right, I feel I've paid enough lip service to respecting the boundaries of our friendship. Darling." She looked across the table with deep purpose and intensity. "Tell me."

"Um," Fluttershy blushed deeply, but she was still smiling too. "About... Moon Dancer?"

"About Moooooon Dancer," Rarity confirmed, stirring her coffee unnecessarily.

Sometimes, Fluttershy's timidity felt like its own, different pony living inside her head. It was a part of her, but it also felt like it had its own needs. At times like this, it needed to prance around a little. It knew it wasn't going to win; it even knew she didn't want it to win. It just didn't want anypony to forget about it. "Um," Fluttershy said. "Well, okay." She looked at Rarity quietly, through her mane.

Rarity blinked, then leaned back a bit. "I suppose it'll help to be more specific," she sighed. "Do you like her?"

"Oh, Rarity, I think I do!" Fluttershy suddenly burst out with soft vehemence. Her timidity had been satisfied. "I think I really do."

"Eeee!" Rarity squeezed her eyes shut and galloped in place. "Fluttershy! Tell me more, tell me everything."

"Well, we've just had two dates," Fluttershy said, playing with her front hooves. "But we talked a whole lot during them, for hours and hours. Rarity, she's so smart, but she takes me really seriously, especially when we talk about animals. She gets kind of gruff and awkward when she doesn't know what to say. It's so cute!"

"Aaa!" Rarity jumped up and down in her joy. "What was your last date?"

"Oh, we went to the sanctuary and just took a walk? The animals were so sweet. Henderson... that's the elephant... lifted us up to the the squirrel's tree house, which they'd decorated all nice just for us! And we ate dinner there and watched the sun set."

At 'watched the sun set' Rarity literally swooned. "And then? What happened then?"

"Well. We just talked. But at the end, I think... I think she wanted to kiss me? Is that okay to say?"

"YES!" Rarity said, nearly throwing her coffee mug across the room. "Did she??"

"...no. But. I." Fluttershy looked down at her tea. "Um."

Rarity leaned forward. "Fluttershy," she whispered, "I absolutely demand that you say it out loud."

Fluttershy looked up, enormous grin almost covered up by the intensity of her blush. "ikissedher."

Rarity literally vibrated. "I think this is how Pinkie Pie feels all the time," she said, with something like awe.

"It was nice. It was really nice. Um, but I bumped her glasses off. She didn't mind."

"When are you going out again??"

"Tomorrow night? But I was thinking maybe I'd bring her coffee tomorrow morning at the castle and surprise her just for a visit. Is that too soon?"

"DO IT!" Rarity screeched. "That is such a sweet idea." She lay her head down on the table, completely exhausted. "Fluttershy darling, I just can't say how happy I am for you. You have deserved something like this for a long time." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Well... there is one thing, though..."

"This is about her sweater, isn't it?"

"That sweater is terrible!" Rarity exclaimed, pounding the table with a hoof. "I'm sorry, but she is SO pretty when she cleans herself up. She's always beautiful, of course, but she looked absolutely glamorous at her party, in that handsome suit."

Fluttershy smiled at the memory. "Yes, she did. I like her sweater, but she told me she was interested in some of your clothes, maybe. I think she wants to impress you."

"Oh, how wonderfully flattering," Rarity said modestly. "But I'm easy, I'm already sure we'll be the best of friends. The difficult ones will be Angel Bunny and Rainbow Dash."

Fluttershy frowned. "Rainbow."

"Have you talked to her yet?" Rarity was clearly keeping her voice as kind as possible to minimize the chance that Fluttershy would start fretting.

Fluttershy fretted. "No. She's been at the Wonderbolts Academy a lot, and I think she might be avoiding me."

"Oh, don't worry, dear," Rarity said. "She's just protective of you, and to be honest, Moon Dancer isn't really the kind of pony she'd naturally be friends with. I'm sure the Cutie Map will send the two of you off to moderate a dispute among dik-diks, or something along those lines, and you'll get a chance to work it out."

"Maybe." Fluttershy sipped her tea, worried she had wrecked something Rarity had been looking forward to. She smiled softly, remembering something better. "Oh, but Moon Dancer met Maud Pie the other day."

"Oh?" Rarity asked, grinning. "How did that go?"

"I'm... I'm going to do my best impression of it, okay?" Fluttershy said, wondering idly if she was pulling off being mischievous. "Maud just walks up to us. 'Hi. I'm Maud. I like rocks.' 'Hi. I'm Moon Dancer. I like rocks too.' 'What's your favorite kind?' 'Metamorphic.' 'Nice.'"

Rarity nearly fell over laughing at Fluttershy's expressionless delivery. "Was that it? Was that really the whole exchange?"

"No, then Maud walked over and elbowed me and said, 'Good catch, Fluttershy,' and she walked away. Then Moon Dancer said, 'I like her.'"

Rarity smirked. "Oh dear, and where did your mind start going from that, hmm?"

Fluttershy's face turned scarlet. She had known this was where the conversation was probably going, but apparently the timid pony inside her head was caught unawares. "Uhm. Erm. Nice... places." She suddenly looked up in alarm. "Oh, but I really am over Maud! I don't think I've ever liked a pony the way I like Moon Dancer! The Maud thing wasn't really ever that big a deal. Rainbow just thought it was funny, for some reason."

Rarity's face fell at another mention of Rainbow Dash. "If you need help talking to her, please let us know. I must say, I am a bit irritated with her for the way she's acting."

Fluttershy frowned into her tea. "Rarity," she began hesitantly, "do you ever think Rainbow... I mean, I've known her forever, but we've never talked bout her.... see, sometimes there's been times when I thought maybe... um." She suddenly shook her head. "No, sorry, never mind. I'm being silly. Um, do you think we could talk about the dinner I'm planning to make Moon Dancer when she comes over?"

"Of course!" Rarity agreed, beaming. Fluttershy filled the rest of the conversation with mundane plans and stories about her new relationship. She was happy to enthrall her friend so completely, and she was so grateful to be so supported. Things were almost wonderful.

Twilight was doing her very best, but Trixie was just objectively not helping. She kept taking Twilight's parchment and trying to read it, even though Twilight was still using it. "Starlight, could you... control her, or something?"

Starlight gasped. "Twilight! You know I don't do that anymore."

"No, just--Stop it!" She yanked the parchment out of Trixie's blue magic aura and folded it up. "Can't you just talk to her, so we can get through the instructions? We don't even need her until we're done with this part."

"Well, pardon me, Twilight," Trixie said huffily. "You're only asking to trigger magic off my horn. That's where my mane is."

"Yes, but you agreed to this," Twilight objected. Then, after a sad look from Starlight, she added, "I mean, thank you for volunteering to help. But this part is for the mares casting the spell. Not the mare whose horn the mares casting the spell are casting the spell on."

Trixie huffed. "I just want to see the spell. You know, to make sure you didn't make a mistake."

"Make a mist..." Twilight caught herself and sighed. "Gah. Okay, okay, you can read it." She unfolded the parchment and floated it over to Trixie, who spent a fiftieth of a second smirking in between her perfectly innocent expressions. Still, Starlight Glimmer smiled at her gratefully, so she assumed she had done the right thing.

"Twilight?" A subtly amused voice came from the doorway. She turned to see Moon Dancer walking in. "I dug up some new sources, I wanted to talk to you about it when you had a minute."

"Of course," Twilight said, turning to her old friend. "Come on..." she trailed off as Trixie pranced past her towards the newcomer.

"Why, who is this?" she chirped, tossing the parchment she had been reading onto the floor. "Are you the new unicorn working here?"

Moon Dancer looked back, bemused. "Yes. Hello."

Trixie twirled, bathing herself in sparkling light. "I'm Trixie, showmare extraodinaire, best friend to Starlight Glimmer, and master of mixed-media art installations."

"I'm Moon Dancer." She paused. "I sang karaoke once."

Twilight looked back up from brushing the dust off her parchment in annoyance. "She's our new Everfree researcher. And she wanted to talk to me about her science, so..."

"Oh please!" Trixie tut-tutted. "Trixie is a scientist! Performance is her graduate school." She looked back at Twilight haughtily. "And if you don't mind, I am trying to make a friend, so let me make a good impression."

Starlight stepped in. "You're doing great, Trixie, but not everypony likes such a... forceful approach. She put her hoof around Trixie's shoulder and led her back a few steps. "Moon Dancer has only been working here a few days, so she's having to get used to a lot."

"Oh. Well, that's fine. I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot of each other." She leaned in close to Moon Dancer. "Come see my showwww," she whispered.

Twilight was about to jump in, but she was stopped by an extremely quiet and extremely polite cough. She turned and saw Fluttershy hovering in the window, holding a cup of coffee between her front hooves. "Um, hello, everypony. I'm sorry to interrupt, but I thought Moon Dancer might like a cup of coffee and a short break?"

Moon Dancer blushed and Twilight could not keep herself from grinning. "This is so nice," Moon Dancer said, walking up to Fluttershy and taking the coffee. They simply glowed together for a moment. "Uh, Twilight, is it all right if I take fifteen minutes to drink this?"

"Of course!" Twilight said joyfully. The pair floated out of the room, one literally, both figuratively.

Starlight looked at Twilight quizzically. "Um. Whaaat was that?"

"What do you mea--Trixie!" Twilight yanked away the quill that had been about to doodle on her parchment. Trixie giggled, unperturbed. Twilight sighed. "Sorry. What do you mean, Starlight?"

"Fluttershy and Moon Dancer were acting really weird. You didn't notice?"

Twilight froze, wondering how to get out of the situation, but fortunately(?) Trixie rescued her. "Oh, my my my," she said with amusement, trotting over and putting her hoof around Starlight's shoulders. "I keep forgetting how innocent you are. They weren't acting weird, they were acting in loooovvvve."

Starlight jerked away from Trixie. "In love?" she gasped, her nose screwing up with what might have been surprise but also might have been something else. "Fluttershy..."

Suddenly, a cerulean streak burst into the room, and Rainbow Dash stood face-to-face with Starlight, growling. "Hey!" she bellowed, "You got something to say about Fluttershy?"

Starlight jumped in surprise, falling over onto her back. "Augh!"

Twilight sprang forward, "No, Rainbow Dash!" she exclaimed. "Starlight was just caught off guard. She's okay with Fluttershy, right?"

"Yes, yes!" Starlight agreed frantically.

Rainbow Dash blinked, then shook her head back and forth rapidly. "Oh. Uh. Hey, girls." She looked around with dawning realization of her surroundings. "Dang it, I was right in the middle of breakfast. Can't everypony just deal with Fluttershy being gay, already? I can't really turn this off." Grumbling to herself, she flew back out the window.

Starlight watched her go from the floor, nonplussed. Smirking, Trixie pulled her back up onto her hooves. "I knew Fluttershy was gay since I first met her," Trixie said, fluffing her curls. "When you look like I do, ponies can't help but give themselves away. Right, Twilight?"

Twilight rolled her eyes. (She noticed that Trixie had somehow managed to write 'trxy = hottie' onto her parchment, but she didn't have the energy to spare on that at the moment.) "I, for one, am very happy for Moon Dancer and Fluttershy."

"Yes, me too," Starlight said, frowning. "Um, except..."

"Except what?"

Starlight glanced out the window, worried, then looked back at Twilight. "It's just, Moon Dancer is new in town, and most of her friends are also Fluttershy's friends. What if they break up?"

Twilight mirrored Starlight's frown. She tried to wrap her head around the idea of Fluttershy breaking somepony's heart, but she was not able to. "I think that's a friendship bridge we'll cross if we friendship come to it?" she offered hopefully. "I was kind of already imagining them as little old ladies sitting on a porch together." She giggled. "Try it, it's really fun."

Starlight sat down. "Believe me, I hope it works out!" she said. "But Moon Dancer takes things really hard sometimes, right? Would she be okay?"

Twilight sat down, too. She could not think of anything to say in response. There was an uncomfortable silence.

"Hey," Trixie piped up. "I've got something that will take your mind off all this."

"What's that?" Twilight asked, not even thinking to regret it.

"The word you misspelled on line six."

Twilight grabbed her parchment in shock, while Trixie just laughed and laughed.

"I'm excited to meet him," Moon Dancer said, walking down the lane toward Fluttershy's cottage. "I just don't see why I needed all this mental preparation time."

"Um, Angel is very special," Fluttershy replied. "But... he's also very, um. Ssssspecial? Some ponies find him... esssspecially hard to get along with." She arrived at her front door and looked back uncertainly.

""Fluttershy, it's fine," Moon Dancer said with confidence as Fluttershy opened the door. "He's a bunny. He's your bunny. I'm sure he's..." She trailed off when she walked inside the cottage and saw the rabbit standing there, looking at her. He had obviously been waiting for her. His front paws were clasped behind his back, and his eye glinted ominously in the light. "Uh... is he wearing a little karate outfit?"

"It's jiu-jitsu, actually," Fluttershy said, walking in and closing the door behind her.

"Huh. So, he's taking woodland animal jiu-jitsu classes, is he?"

"Oh no." Fluttershy hung up her scarf and Moon Dancer's hat on the knob near the door. "He teaches them." She started for the kitchen but looked back hesitantly. "I need to go check on the food. Are you two okay in here by yourselves?"

"Oh! I'm sure we are," Moon Dancer replied, very unconvincingly. Angel Bunny cracked a knuckle.

Fluttershy entered the kitchen, fretting less than she thought she would. The rabbit had been informed very clearly what would happen if he didn't behave, but still, Angel was Angel. If he was a little naughty when they first met, then that was just Moon Dancer seeing him how he really was, and Fluttershy really wanted that to happen.

She opened the oven and glanced in. The savory winter-root pie was bubbling, but the crust still needed to turn golden. She looked over her shoulder back to the living room. "How are you two doing?"

"Fine!" Moon Dancer called back. "He's, um, showing me a demonstration? I think?"

Fluttershy chuckled and closed the oven. She was about to go back into the living room, but she stopped when she heard a tapping sound come from her window. Confused, she flew over and opened it.

A blue pegasus grinned in at her. "Hey!"

Fluttershy started back, frowning. "Um, Rainbow Dash. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah!" Rainbow was smiling, but her expression looked odd. "I was just flying around, and I thought, I haven't spent time with Fluttershy for a while. So, hey, let's have dinner. Burritos? Burritos." She stuck her head in through the window. "You're alone, right? All free?"

"Actually no," Fluttershy said hesitantly. "I'm introducing Moon Dancer to Angel Bunny right now."

Rainbow's smile disappeared. "Seriously? Come on, Fluttershy."

Fluttershy could feel herself getting angry, but she was not quite even sure why. "What do you mean, 'come on?'"

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Nothing. So, no burritos, then? Because you have this new Canterlot 'best friend' you can't hang out with me?"

"What?" Fluttershy almost felt something Iron Will-y lurching up inside her, but she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "No. If you want to come in and spend time with us for a little bit, then that would be fun. But you'll have to leave before too long, so we can have dinner. Is that okay?"

"Um, Fluttershy?" Moon Dancer's voice called in from the other room. "He's-- ow. He--OW! Um, he's just kicking my leg over and over? What should--OW! Um, what should I do?"

Rainbow Dash pulled away. "No, whatever. I'm cool. You guys have egghead rabbit fun." She darted off into the night.

"Fluttershy," Moon Dancer called with increasing urgency. "He stopped kicking me, but um, a monster just came in? Ow! Now the monster is kicking me! Stop it!"

"Monster?" Fluttershy stiffened in consternation, secretly grateful something so alarming was happening, so she would not have to think more about the interaction she just had. She darted into the living room.

She was surprised by what she found, though in retrospect, she should not have been. Moon Dancer cowered on the floor, a lizard foot perched atop her back. Attached to the lizard foot was a hodge-podge of nonsense looking very proud of itself.

"Discord!" Fluttershy yelped, darting over. "Let her up!" Even in the midst of the chaos, she noticed that Angel had been wrapped around Discord's neck in a futile attempt at a rear-naked choke, and she allowed herself a tiny bit of pride.

"That's... Discord?" Moon Dancer murmured dazedly as the draconequus snaked his way off of her.

"You should be thanking me," he said huffily. "I just helped Angel stop that strange nerd-pony who broke into your house."

Fluttershy knelt over Moon Dancer with maternal concern. "She's not strange," she said crossly. "I invited her in, and you shouldn't just kick somepony just because Angel Bunny did. Angel Bunny can be very naughty, but you should know better."

Moon Dancer stood up, wavering unsteadily. She gaped. "I can't believe it. Discord, the living embodiment of chaos, is your friend? ...and he just lets himself in whenever he wants, apparently?"

Discord curtsied. "Aleteoshy's casa es... er, Discord's casa," he said. "Now, who are you, hmm? A new pal?"

He had not even accented the word 'pal,' but it felt that way to Fluttershy. Moon Dancer looked over at her with understanding, but Fluttershy closed her eyes and just said it: "No, she's my special somepony."

"Special Some Pony?" Discord shook his head disdainfully. "What a stupid phrase. She is certainly some pony. But what makes her so special, is it the glasses?"

Fluttershy glanced at Moon Dancer for help, but the other pony seemed to have fallen into a blissful stupor from hearing the way she was just described. "No. She... uh. That's something we say when we talk about ponies in. Um, a romantic relationship."

Discord threw up his hands in frustration (then caught them again and put them back on). "You ponies with your pony feelings and your pony words for your pony feelings! What in Equestria is a romantic relationship? Is that like a chicken?"

Fluttershy sat down, helplessly. Luckily, Angel Bunny smacked his forehead in frustration, ran up Discord's back, and perched on his griffon shoulder. He whispered into Discord's ear.

"Oh?" Discord listened carefully. "Oh!!" He looked at Fluttershy with a grin she was not sure she liked at all. "Well now! Why didn't you say so?" He set Angel on the floor and snaked himself around Fluttershy's shoulder.

"I'll just get out of your way, then." He disappeared in a puff of smoke, then reappeared directly behind Moon Dancer, who jumped in shock. "But I insist we meet more formally sometime soon, hmm? I think you'll find that our dear Fluttershy can inspire a bit of protectiveness in others." He did a backflip and was gone.

Fluttershy's mouth fell open. Of all the things that had happened, she noticed that she was somehow most surprised by the fact that Discord and Angel had both just showed better social skills than Rainbow Dash. "Um," she said, desperately trying to think of something to say. "So, that's Discord. We're actually very close."

Moon Dancer stared at nothing. "A rabbit beat me up and then I met chaos and I'm your special somepony."

Fluttershy smiled softly. She leaned forward and pressed her neck against Moon Dancer's. "You are." She paused. "I mean... you are, right?"


Fluttershy closed her eyes and felt Moon Dancer's warmth and heartbeat. It was, at least for now, enough to distract her from the mock-retching noises Angel was making as he witnessed their sweet moment.

Rainbow Dash snorted.

Pinkie gave her an adorable little head-tilt. "Sooooooo, you saw her go into her cottage with Moon Dancer, and then you acted like you didn't know she was with Moon Dancer, and then you got mad at her when she said she was with Moon Dancer?"

Rainbow Dash snorted again.

Pinkie tilted her head the other way. "I'm not wearing my detective costume, buuuut... oh wait! I forgot to tell you, I have a new detective costume! It's for when I solve mysteries. Do you want to see it?"

"Pinkie!" Ranbow snapped. "Really not in the mood, okay?"

"Okay," Pinkie sighed. "Anyway, I'm not dressed in my flattering new detective costume... but, it kind of seems like you were just setting yourself up to feel bad and have a fight? But that doesn't make sense."

"I know it doesn't!" Rainbow yelled, then she backed down at Pinkie's startled reaction. "I know it doesn't," she repeated more calmly. "I know I'm not making any stupid sense and I don't know why."

Pinkie rolled over backwards onto her head. "You're proooobably jealous? I get jealous sometimes over my friends and it makes me act totally nutty."

Rainbow whipped her head towards Pinkie. "I'm not jealous! Why would I be jealous?" Pinkie just looked back at her. Rainbow Dash shook her head angrily. "Not. Jealous."

Pinkie rolled back over onto her hooves without breaking eye contact. "I think you'd like Moon Dancer? She's actually really funny. Like Maud! Quiet, but then pow! She comes out with this silly joke you'd never see coming!"

Rainbow rolled her eyes. Pinkie opened her mouth, but Rainbow cut her off. "No! I know what you're going to say, and no. I'm not going to talk to her about books. She likes stupid books about stupid things. I like awesome books. We don't have anything in common there."

Pinkie was silent. Rainbow instinctively took a step backwards. "Um... Pinkie? Everypony home, there?"

"Oh! Yes, I was just trying to think of another word that means 'jealous' since you didn't want me to use that one."


"Oh! Envious!"

"...Pinkie. I just don't like Moon Dancer because she's an egghead. Fluttershy should be... I don't know, she should be dating somepony cool!"

Pinkie Pie squinted at Rainbow. "I reeaaaaally think I should be wearing my detective outfit for this. Gummy helps! I dress him up as a little basset hound, and..."

"Agh!" Rainbow suddenly squawked in frustration and stomped her front hooves. "Look, I don't know what you're thinking, but it's not true. Fluttershy's always had lame taste in girls. It's not like I didn't know something like this was going to happen."

Pinkie glowered. "Rainbow, you're my very bestest friend, but Moon Dancer and Fluttershy are my friends too. Sooooooo..."

"All right, all right! I'm sorry." Rainbow lay down, defeated. "So, being around them makes me really mad and I don't know why and I'll probably just start a fight, but I want to apologize. What should I do?"

Pinkie looked at her seriously. "Four words: Construction paper. Macaroni. Glue."

Rainbow stared back blankly. "Thanks, Pinkie Pie," she said. Pinkie just gave her a dazzling smile.