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After a really bad morning, Twilight discovers that the Crystal Castle Kitchen is out of coffee, tea, and hot chocolate. So she goes to Starbuckers instead and orders a Venti White Chocolate Mocha to cheer herself up.
Starbuckers is out of regular coffee, too. But they still have decaf.
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its not her fault , I once had to deal with a Chinese restaurant that ran out of rice .
I'll just leave this here.
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8877897
bah ahahahahahaha
Why would anyone like that shop.. a coffee shop without coffee serves as much purpose as caffeine-free sugar-free sodas. NONE
Bwuahahahahaahahahahaah!!
She should've asked for coffee liquor - that thing kicks like a horse!
'Anyways' is slang and Twilight doesn't do slang.
Twilight it is just a Starbucks you can find better coffee in the garbage then in there. If I could get over to Equestria I could help these sad ponies the best morning drink or at any time, Dr. Pepper!
this was a cute and funny piece. I loved it
8877897
How does that even happen? Unless they had a huge surge in customers that they weren't prepared for.
8877897
Lemme Guess... Davenport was the manager?
But seriously, HOW THE FUCK DOES A CHINESE RESTAURANT RUN OUT OF FUCKING RICE OF ALL THINGS!?
Twilight should have to spend a bunch of her community service sentence as a barista.
8877917
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She should’ve just been like “Buck it, the world decided to get rid of real coffee so I’m going to get rid of my sanity” and chugged a dozen Frappuccinos.
8877956
Hey, caffeine-free sugar-free Mountain Dew is for the people who like the taste of Mountain Dew.
Which, I believe, is nobody.
8877966
'Anyways' is slang and Twilight doesn't do slang.
Arguably, since it's descriptive text and not a direct quote, that doesn't matter.
But I changed it anyway. Because she doesn't use slang.
8877981
That kind of thing happens more than you might think. I spent five years at mcds just saving up money for school.
8877972
Agreed in principle. I drink mechanic coffee, so I've got no taste.
Yeah, Dr. Pepper's good and all, but it's no Mr. Pibb.
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<shots fired>
8878001
I'm sorry for you. Not that you went to school, but that you had to work at McDonald's for it.
8878015
Income is income. And it was worth it. I’m close to getting my communications degree and I have not a single penny in student loans.
8877897
well it was the new guy, he mistook the cooked rice "barrel" for the trash can, so they had to dump 50 lbs of rice.
8878022
I worked factory jobs instead. I did fast food for a couple of summers and while it was memorable, factory jobs paid better and I didn't have to deal with idiot customers, just machines that would maim or kill me if I didn't treat them with respect.
8878029
That's actually an understandable mistake.
8878030
You remembered to pet and pat them and say “who’s a good machine? Who’s a good machine?” Right?
love the cover art, super flame sayian sparkle is adorable.
8878037
Mostly just paid attention to the safety briefings and when they said not to do something, I didn't do it.
You know those stickman warning symbols? Like on the wet floor sign? One factory where I worked, there was a machine that we called the Cheerio maker. It cut little slits out of plastic pipe, and the castoffs looked like Cheerios. Anyway, the warning sign on that said "Danger Rotating Knives" and instead of Stickman having a bad day, it just had a silhouette of Jaws. That kind of left no doubt as to what it would do to you.
8878039
She really is.
Um, Twilight, can't you just put up a barrier around your castle? Like you did during the whole Gabby Gums fiasco?
8878049
She's not thinking straight. She hasn't had her morning caffeine.
8878043
Smart mare, Twilight. Just wait until they rebuild the place and all will okay.
It sounds a lot like most of my mornings
Thanks for a wonderful, funny story!
So she didn't get arrested because she was waiting to meet a friend there and holding off on placing her order?
You did promise us greater shitposting on friday...
I need more sleep for that kind of sillyness. Or less. Not sure.
I did once try to eat at a fried chicken restaurant that was out of chicken, a french frie (well belgian actually) that was out of potato -thus out of fries- and I heard tale of the one time a Tim Horton went out of donuts.
8878077
I did consider that option.
I was going to also say that I try not to write political stories or current issue stories, but a look at my story list would prove that was a lie.
There's some universe-balancing symmetry in Twilight being protected from Ponyville, for a change.
And I don't know what ponies are mad about. Seriously, decaf.
If she hadn't burned it down, somepone else would have.
So Spike's record is squeaky clean and don't say about the greed growth or the other ridiculous stuff he's done cause they don't count regardless.
Bad things happen when a store runs out of its signature item. they get immortalised in song or prose.
Even with hooves, huh? You’d think there would be some advantages to them...
8878007
To each his own. I will not participate in any soda wars.
Whats with all the shorts all of a sudden? Mind you there amazing and im loving the them.
A bad day for Twilight makes for hilarious story.
Curious as to who's using her brush. Celestia's the first one I thought of.
Rarity as a prostitute was dropped so casually it was like wait what.
Fluttershy as a bird lawyer needs some explanation. Going to be reading the linked story later on.
Anywho, keep it up these have been great.
8877981
It generally takes a couple of screwups or unlucky malfunctions happening at the same time. I've been at a Chinese restaurant where that happened. The main rice cooker- as you can imagine, a giant industrial-sized one- blew out. So they grabbed the backup, which was smaller but would've gotten by in a pinch. Something went wrong with that one too. Fortunately, this was in Chinatown, so they resorted to ducking out the back door and going next door to grab big bowls of cooked rice. It happens. Restaurants cover for each other.
That being said, I think some of those restaurants began going with 3-4 smaller-but-still-industrial rice cookers rather than relying on one the size of a cauldron.
One of my favorite sub-genres.
Noice~
8878007
You might like Moxie, Give it a try some time if you can find it. Gonna have to read this story later, sleep becomes though it sounds amusing.
8878007
Mechanic coffee, meaning made in a drip brewer that's been in the break room since the Reagan years and simmers all day?
Upgrading to a handcranked ceramic burr grinder and a stovetop percolator would give much better results.
8878200
Free salad?
8878120
The lego likely hurt the frog of her hoof. and you go Twily, burn down that Hot To... Starbuckers.
8878493
Something about Twilight's iron confidence in the supremacy of logical thinking, and her occasionally complete inability to understand other ponies lends itself to so many possible ways to end up in jail.
And That, Leiutenant Chang, is why we do Not eyeball it.
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8878059
Exactly! Or if not rebuild, get one of those portable coffee carts.
Yeah, me too.
You're welcome!
8878081
Amusingly, it turns out the true shitposting isn't until tonight. I hadn't intended to publish this one tonight, but figured now was a good time to pick on Starbucks.
Just be prepared to say some variation of "Dammit, Admiral."
That's just the kind of thing that shouldn't happen. Ever. Unless they've got some valid excuse for something that was completely out of their control.