- Member Since 5th Oct, 2016
- offline last seen 3 hours ago
Israel Yabuki
Canon x OC, that's my specialty, both in art and in MLP stories
Israel Yabuki
Joined 5th Oct, 2016 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- GameBoy_Gamer · 5.8k words · 204 18 · 5.3k views
- dracone · 79k words · 258 27 · 8.6k views
- MoonaKnight13 · 2.3k words · 91 11 · 5.2k views
- Israel Yabuki · 9.9k words · 99 10 · 4.7k views
- dracone · 71k words · 85 7 · 3.3k views
- Gojirasaurus · 26k words · 533 25 · 12k views
- Moonking · 4k words · 136 36 · 7.2k views
- MoonaKnight13 · 1.7k words · 137 10 · 5.9k views
Featured In16
Clopfics11,546 stories ·15,814 members
- Spike shipping832 stories ·831 members
Spike Fanfictions5,587 stories ·2,954 members
Anthropomorphics7,626 stories ·5,017 members
My Little Fetish16,596 stories ·8,568 members
- Spike's Many Shippings3,682 stories ·1,732 members
Pregnancy1,277 stories ·1,945 members
Lactation390 stories ·532 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.178 seconds
Total duration
1,023 users online
1,738,299 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Thank Celestia!! DId you do this because of my suggestions?
Again, I am so glad someone did this!! Cant wait for the next chapter!!
Yep, I really like the way you described it in the PMs. I thought it was an interesting story idea. Also, after this, I think I'll ship Spike with Sunset Shimmer, but she'll just be a regular unicorn and Spike will be a normal dragon, same with the story involving Spike being shipped together with Tempest Shadow
8588144
Yes!! FInally, someone took an idea of mine and used it!! Thanks!! ANd the other ones sound great!! ALso, when will the next chapter come to be?
8588144
What about Trixie? There are almost none with her and SPike.
8588165
I think after Sunset is done, I'll work on the Spike x Trixie story. If not, then I'll work on Trixie's next and as for the next chapter, I'm not sure when it'll be published, but I'll try to post it as soon as possible if I can finish up some of my other highly demanded stories.
8588195
ok. Thanks. This is going to be spectacular!!!!
A premise may have potential, but the execution falls off. I would give 3/10 for effort and featuring Chrysallis. Not unreadable, but closer to it than I would like.
I mean, my own grammar is not that good either, but having more consistency with past/present tense should help a lot (like sticking to one for the whole text, preferably past one). And paying more attention to the verbs in general. Using grammarly or one of the free analogues may be a good idea.
'The changelings still glared at him and he felt like he was lying'
'Chrysalis almost got crushed' - among the most obvious examples.
8590985
huh, I'm surprised I didn't see those slight errors. I'll admit, my grammer can get a little messed up at times, and I appreciate the constructive critisism.
8590985
If he fixed the grammar, would you rate it better?
8592571
Sure, by a point or two. Sticking to past tense for the whole text would bump it a bit further. To do better would require significantly more work and/or skill. And as long as text isn't unreadable I wouldn't really recommend focusing on major rewrite if it hurts the work's progress. Few things kill the stories better then rewrites...
*Shrugs* It's just my personal subjective opinion in the end though.
8593007
True. Each to their own, i always say.
This is only one chapter and I already love this story. Cant wait for the next one.
I'm really looking forward to the next chapter. Spike's gonna have someone gonna be steady with him, whether he wants it or not...
Also this bit of a passage:
makes me really think that there's gonna be a confirmation between Spike, Chrysalis, and suprising (but not that surprisingly) Rarity. I can see Spike seeing something in Chrysalis that pretty much nopony else sees in her, and I can really see Rarity really trying to get back at Spike I know, it's kinda cliche and predictable, but I can really see that happening. Though I'm a bit surprised that Fluttershy's not considered a potential romantic interest.
Mind you all that happens AFTER Chryssie gets healed...so that could be a while...
8642604
I think you just gave me another brilliant idea for the next chapter
8642604
8643131
I read it and can complete understand what you writing. I feel this can be a great story. I felt that Fluttershy likes Spike. She ask do you want some hot chocolate... hint, hint. Spike x Chrysalis is a ship I like and can't get enough of. Now, about Rarity... I don't care if you make her suffer, because lets face it, she did Spike dirty. Do what ever you want with Rarity. Now, Fluttershy, she make me happy if she happy for some reason. It is all in your hands when it come to the story. My grammar is not the best, so for your story I will say you did a great job. I be looking for another chapter.
when it comes to chapters zoidberg PERFECTLY says what i want https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3gUVvg2eQU
When I read the title of this story I first thought it said changling for the better but sadly I was wrong but it would be a good pun
8643131
I like it so far.
PLEASE make more chapters i like stories that involve chryssi specifically sweet ones like this one most likely will be(ones that dont involve rape tragedy death or other things i dont like in stories) i am actually halfway through my first draft of a story of my oc and chrysalis falling in love eventually getting married and having foals(or would a changeling call them grubs?) But yes it will involve intercourse(the scene will be a bit more focused on emotion than the action itself)
I am honestly conflicted about this chapter a bit to be honest. I think the biggest thing that stood out and really kinda took me out of it is that is went far too fast and felt super rushed. This relationship is going way WAY too fast. For love to even be a possibility right now is far too quick and honestly Spike is showing far too much care for her and her changling for JUST seeing her and having NO positive impression of her at all up till this point. I think things need to slow way down and REALLY show this relationship building, they are starting from honestly like a negative square one and we need to see it. We can't have Spike talking about love and some strong feelings out of nowhere. I also think that just the distance between the two chapter's release date didn't really help. I am not saying force yourself to put it out faster not at all, but I am saying we needed a nice build up at the start to get us back in but like I said it felt rushed. I say if you slow things down and we really get to see them build a relationship maybe starting as just friends and going from there would be nice. Show each changling having unique personalities of their own. Show that this isn't going to be easy for Spike or the Changling.
8675556
They're not in love yet. Chrysalis still doesn't know if she should love him and her followers still don't trust him enough either, but I do thank you for the constructive critisism, this'll definitely help me improve the story in the next chapter.
8675577
Sure no problem any help I could provide I am happy to do. I get they aren't in love yet. But when Rarity questioned him he gave he doesn't know yet. I just felt that should have been a hard no or something like that instead of hinting about it. And I just feel Spike came off as really strong with alot of things when it came to them. I feel it should have been more of him feeling like they are his responsibility or even that his overall good guy nature won out. But he shouldn't outright trust them right off the back with NOTHING to support or even suggest that trust should be had. Not to mention Chrysalis came off way to strong with her changing as well. I mean her wondering about love and all of that. Way too on the noise too early. We need like a chapter or two to see that change even start to happen. Idk.... it very well could just be me and I hate to come off as sounding like a ass or anything like it it was just something that screamed at me through the whole chapterm
8675598
no worries, you're just being honest and I appreciate it.
Thank God!!! Another chapter for this great story!! Cant wait for the next one.
IsraelYabuki, Thank you!!
8675650
I fixed it, thanks
looks like you have a little goof there, that d is supposed to be a g. Errors in the first paragraph usually don’t bode well for the rest of the chapter. You also seem to be a bit confused about tense, seeing as you have past and present tense words in the same paragraph on a few occasions.
8675849
Look, his grammer might be off, but give him some credit already, he's trying his hardest to make you guys happy with this story, but he's only gotten one comment that's happy this 2nd chapter us up.
In my opinion, this chapter touched my heart when he showed how much he cared.
8675869
Easy there, they're just being honest. And I won't lie, my grammar sounds a bit off, but I do what I can so it'll make sense, so no need to think it's all bad right now. All that matters is that I got a little praise
Nicely done! I think Chrysalis is discovering a heart!
8675879
I agree, it was a rather emotion filled chapter.
8675879
Thank you so much for this chapter. Cant wait 4 more
First! Thanks for the chapter. Pls take my thoughts and use them for good of all pony kind.. lol brony kind. Seriously, this is all my opinions and I'm not an expert of any kind. Now, for my comments: A lot of what I want to say have already been said in DragonPony's comments...
8675598
DragonPony I know how you feel...
Comments like his are helpful because I don't like repeating.
When Rarity came in the middle of the night, my mind went... 💥
When Rarity just ask do you love Chrysalis, my mind went... 💥 again.
When Spike basically says "Idk... maybe later", well my mind just went 😐 and then😑... and dies ☠ and then... 💥again.
When Chrysalis cries I can say that was very good for the plot... it was slow and nice outcome to Spike kindness 👼
When Chrysalis heart beats...😇
Twilight was getting on my nerves, just let the big dragon do what he wants. TWILIGHT YOU NEED TO CHILL... WHAT CAN CHANGLINGS THAT CAN'T BARELY MOVE AND CHRYSALIS WHO CAN'T EVEN WALK DO... TO A FIRE BREATHING DRAGON
Twilight, WHY DID YOU CALL HIS EX-CRUSH FOR?... AND WHY YOU LEFT AND GO TO SLEEP... AFTER SETTING THAT TYPE OF BOMB UP...
Lol my thoughts are coming out...
I surprise you didn't just tied them to their beds...
Just take it easy Spike you find your one and only soon...
8675879
Take a minute to breathe then read and envision... Spike life in your story. Whatever you envision and you reading don't feel right, just try again.
Now in chapter 4, I wonder can injured changelings handle a Celestia... it's all up to you if they can survive this fatal encounter with the Princess of the Sun... I can't wait to find out in the next chapter.
Yay! New chapter was very good in quality for reading material. Now to patiently wait for more
It is a good chapter, am I the only one who thought that Spike should have replied sarcastically to Twilight when she
and he could probably reply with "Oh, no Twilight, and here I thought the feed of Dragons!?" (Best I could think of Ill try to come up with one better!)
Little Miss Cactus has a soft spot for Spike.
8676986
Miss Cactus?????
Do you mean Chrysalis?
8676423
I did as well.
She has a heart!!!!! I hope the others discover theirs as well.
I'm a bit confused by this, probably because it sounds like a typo--and other times it just feels awkward. I get that Rarity realizes how much Spike means to her and vice versa her to him, which is why it is still so heartbreaking for him to see ex-crush still have feelings for him, even though she's married and has a kid (it's obvious that she's moved on but at the same time she's holding back). But then that line saying that SHE was never gonna win SPIKE's heart as HER lover just seems wrong...Should it be more like 'She knew that he was never gonna win her heart as his lover, so at least she was gonna be there for him as a kind and supportive friend.' or is it just me?? It's obvious that Thunderlane beat Spike soundly in winning Rarity, why that happened (age, species, differenct paths, what have you..) is not really relevent, but that line makes it seems like now that Rarity has someone, she now has some 'more than friends' feeling for Spike, and coincidentally it's because Spike is caring more for another attractive female beside Rarity (Chrysalis) instead of Rarity now..
...maybe I'm looking too much into it because of the apparant Sparity rejection...so sue me, I'm a Sparity fantic, though I'm more of the desire that Spike deserve love, regardless of who it is...
8679291
Rarity's not married in this story.
Edit 6/5/2018:
i really cant wait for new chapters
8724834
Same here!!
yay new chapter
It has returned, don’t worry
I don’t mind waiting for the next chapter.
KO awesome chapter, well, looks like Spike has taken his first step of helping the Changlings girls and their Queen hoping to earn their trust in due time.
Yes!!!!!!!!! He has returned with a glorious chapter!!!!!! May the next one be as good!!!
this pleases me... please make MOAR!
Awesome work, dude!