• Member Since 7th Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen 16 hours ago

TryingToActProfessional


Currently attempting to become an author. Have to start somewhere.

Comments ( 79 )

(Cover Art by: Jaeh the Bird [If you want it removed Jaeh, lemme know])

What cover art?

Super Kinky story about a Doctor, some ponies, and a machine.

Before reading the longer description, I was thinking, "We're going to see some snuff... excellent."

media1.tenor.com/images/44fae6aaed371a688966643a019aca9b/tenor.gif

You're really rushing out with the dialogue, that's not good.

are you plan to make her fatter?

9357628
You'll have to crop the Luna Pic. FIMFiction policy on tiddies, Moon sized or otherwise, are Nope'd

9357654
Thank you for the warning. Problem fixed. Link to the pic should still work, tho.

9354576
I love the memes, bro. Thanks for the read!

9354404
Got it now. Didn't upload before.

9354634
I thank you for the criticism and will try to fix in later chapters. I was going for realistic dialogue where talking is fast paced and sone after another.

I was wondering since he pulled the Apple out of the screen it made it not age does that mean since he went in and did machine make him on unable to age as well

I like this story. Didnt like the rape part, but its what you decided to do. Not gonna stop ya. Cant wait for more.

Your math he is three-year-old By their calendar

Chrysalis is going to die by luna right

9357863
Yes. He is incapable of aging in their world.

9357866
True, true. But if they use their age system for him, he's as old as Twilight, the supposed eldest of the Elements. And I abide by that logic.

9358081
If Luna doesn't kill her she will still beat her to an inch of her life.

9358263
Possibly. But I'll never tell. You'll just have to read it to find out!

what gonna happen in the next one? battle in three way.

“I doubt it. But thanks. I think you’ll have to X-ray me every day to measure my progress. I want to be sure that I’m not losing any organs or anything.”

Well x-rays won't really help you there.
You'll want CAT scans to see organs.

I do like this story but please, PLEASE separate your paragraphs when different characters are speaking. Other than that not much to say. Bravo :moustache:

This is getting very interesting!!!



BTW could you give him a Diamond Dog love interest? Just wondering!!

I only need for the hyper-pregnancy mentioned in the description to NOT be exclusive to Chrysalis.

I really think it would be wiser to return his core, rather than have the 'professionals' that work for Celestia do anything with it.

what else cross will have next?

will cross fuck twilight next?

So he basically functions similar to the commanders from the Supreme Commander RTS game series; I wonder if he's limited to creating things he only has full understandings of their inner workings, if so no super futuristic technology.

what gonna happen next after hangover?

9377311
Read and find out in the next chapter. Maybe

Love the new cover art 10/10
P.s. Chrysalis is best pony.

I loved this part of the whole story a lot

You just reminded me of supreme commander ACU builder

Good... let's keep it going

Login or register to comment