• Member Since 28th Jan, 2015
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Moon Glow

“Moonlight drowns out all but the brightest stars.” ~ J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings


A "The Swan Princess" crossover/parody. (I'm not sure which.)

As his friends prepare to go to Manehatten for a ballet, Spike comes across a frail swan in the Everfree Forest. Determined to help, he takes care of the swan while his friends are away.

The night after his friends depart, however, the swan makes its way to a pond and transforms into a filly when touched by moonlight.

Now, Spike must discover how to break Pirouette's curse before the wicked mare who cursed her finds her. While at the same time, developing feelings for her?

Title card created with Pony Creater by generalzoi and Medibang Paint Pro.

All OCs belong to me. The rest belong to Lauren Faust and Hasbro.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 56 )

By all that is good, you're adapting my favorite ballet of all time into a MLP fanfic. And I hope it's not really mostly about that crappy film and all its direct-to-video spinoffs that destroy all the original tale ever stood for...

I'm not going to kill off Spike or Pirouette, if that's what you are asking.

I'm trying to create my own story with what source material I can find. Tragically, I never saw the ballet (due to having 0 ballets in my part of my home state) and knew of Swan Lake through "The Swan Princess" and what I can find online such as Wikipedia.

It's going to be a challenge, but I hope in the end, my story will satisfy everyone.

Comment posted by Orkus deleted Oct 9th, 2017

that moment you forget your following someone

Would it not be more accurate to call this a parody instead of a crossover?

I guess I never thought of it as a parody. Just give me a second.

Not bad, but a lot of your story is you telling--not showing--what happens.

It's okay for when a character explains something to another character, but not for the narration.

All in all a great start, just needs some tweaking. :twilightsmile:

This is just the first chapter. I'm hoping to get better as the story progresses. (I suck at intros.)

Don't feel bad; most authors have to wait until the end of their story before writing the intro so it sets everything up right.

You're doing fine thus far.


I'm.....intrigued to say the least. And given the lore behind the swan stories and their adaptations, I'll be very curious to see what you do with it. You got a follow.

Are the main 6 going to play a role in this, or are they away while Spike has an adventure?

They will, but a little later. I can't say any more than that.

You have my complete attention with this story. I’m liking it so far.

To be honest, I’ve never seen The Swan Princess. I haven’t been interested anyway because I didn’t think it was my cup of tea. I also never saw the ballet or read it. But none of that will stop me from reading this tale.

When can you post chapter 2?

As soon as I get done with my Finals.

Your Finals are a college homework, right?

Yes. I have to put together a PowerPoint presentation and write a 4-6 page paper before next Friday. Not to mention I've got to finish two pieces for my painting class.

Wow! That’s a lot to do.

Well, good luck. I hope you pass the Finals and stuff and get good grades.


If it make you feel any better, I do have 3 out of my 4-page minimum done. I may exceed that as I write on. But for now, FINALS, DO YOUR WORST!!!

Well, I can say without a doubt that the direction taken with this story is quite good so far.

DO go on.

Awesome chapter! Awesome OC too!

Waiting these months for the next chapter to come have really been worth it. Along with that, it was a great way to kick off the new year.

Keep up the good work.

Oh, and don’t be afraid of making the story your own despite it being based on The Swan Princess.

Must say I thought the first chapter was great introduction to your story(despite how bad you think it is!) i'm glad you're making it original instead of listening to other people thoughts. I wanted to give some recommendations/inspirations to make your story better but forgot about it & real life situationsMoving out of my childhood home and into a new place!
there's only two errors in this chapter...where rainbow dash said 'I still "we" were going to a wonderbolt show.' you meant to write wish. also when pirouette asks spike "you don't find me..." I think you meant to say fear.
can't wait to see what your oc's backstory is in chapter 3 or later on!

I'll check on that Rainbow Dash line.

As for Pirouette's line, she was going to finish with "repulsive." She was confused about Spike being nice to her.

Also, it was a little past midnight when I finished the chapter, so my editing wasn't exactly on par due to exhaustion.

When is the next chapter coming?

When i can get a break from College.

“I’m sorry. Twilight’s out of town for a week. But as soon as she gets back, we can tell her about your problem.”

Why doesn't he write a letter to Celestia and ask if she, Luna, or even Cadance could come over and help?

The character of Bourdon Bell was inspired by Quasimodo from Disney's "The Hunchback of Notre Dame."

Does that mean he has three gargoyles who come to life when he's alone?

I'm planning something for later.

No, No gargoyles.

Comment posted by Black Hoof deleted Apr 17th, 2018

hi! saw this story was updated and had to read it.
piro's tale gave me vibes of Black swan film (great film. the ending has very shocking twist. if you've seen it?) I thought you gonna go route of the unfinished dance/dying swan (forgot the french title/words!)
okay the plot of that film is about a young girl's obsession with a ballerina. so this other ballerina comes over from another company and takes her lead role in swan lake. the girl isn't happy about this so the plan is to humiliate this other ballerina by turning off the light on stage while in the middle of her performance. but that's not what happens far from it. instead the girl accidently opens up the trap door that other ballerina falls, injured and can never dance again!

Not telling. That's Spoiler territory.

I already know about "The Black Swan," but I don't intend to see it. And why would you think this fic has any relation to that?

Because of how pirouette explains after her mother's performance requiem shows up at their house with "crazy murderous intent." my take/wording on that bit!
I wanted to get my references out of the way first...sorry for not being more thought out:( also was a little sleep deprived.

When’s the next chapter coming?

I’m really anxious to see where the rest of this story goes.

Once I've updated 3 other fics. (Progress of that is slow because I had to do projects for college.)

Comment posted by A Man Undercover deleted Mar 11th, 2019

I thought it wouldn’t hurt to give your story a look back. For some reason, it clicked in my mind to see if there were any grammatical corrections that needed to be made.

Spike smacked his head with his hand. A week ago, Rarity was in her Manehattan boutique when she was approached by the Manehatten Ballet Company's costumers. They've seen her work and need her help in creating costumes for their next show: Swan Lake. According to Twilight who heard it from Rarity, the MBC hadn't performed Swan Lake ever since their best ballerina passed away and they kept away from it out of respect for her. So now they need new costumes for the dancers.

I just noticed that in a couple of parts, you seemed to have switched from past tense to present tense. Why’s that, exactly?

They've seen her work and need her help in creating costumes for their next show: Swan Lake.

I think this sentence should also instead be this:

After they saw her work, they decided they needed her help in creating costumes for their next show: Swan Lake.

Spike kept his eyes forward, continued to run to were the bird fell.

The ‘were’ in this sentence should instead be a ‘where’, & an ‘and’ should come before the word ‘continued’.

An action that involves the mystery of the sleeping swan.

‘Involves’ should instead be ‘involved’.

sounds like an interesting story can't wait to read more

Pirouette is too precious for this cruel world. :twilightsmile:
I wonder if we get to see these friends from the castle.
If this is a romance, I hope story goes on for a long time for build-up, rather than it coming from seemingly out of no-where towards the end. Though having the romance be well-written helps too with two people in a mutually beneficial relationship.

As he stirred the liquid every now and then, he took four slices of bread and spread a hard creamy-looking substance on both sides before placing yellow squares in between two slices. Once the two strange foods were made, he got out a flat pan and started the fire-making device again. She heard the food sizzle as the dragon got out a green spice she was familiar with and sprinkled some into the liquid, stirring it in as he did. He then flipped the bread concoction, revealing a golden underside. The smell of the items was tantalizing to the filly.

Stop it, please,you're making me hungry!:raritystarry:

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