• Published 18th Jul 2012
  • 16,674 Views, 1,132 Comments

But, She's a Pony! - Uke-Joe

Starring You and Fluttershy, your new roommate at your apartment.

  • ...

Chapter 9

Chapter 9


You open the door for Fluttershy and step inside the small diner. You find your eyes following her as she walks in, along her mane, folded golden wings, back, and her round-

Shaking your head, you quickly step in the restaurant as well, careful not to scare off your friend with your strange actions. You smile as you slide into the other side of a booth that she has chosen, and glance down at a menu. You make some pleasant small talk about her classes. Before too long a waiter comes to take your orders. You ponder over the menu a moment before deciding.

"I'll have the ham and cheese omelet please," you say as you hand her the menu. She nods and turns to Fluttershy, who seemed to be distracted by the salt shaker. You gently prod her with your foot.

"Oh! Um, I'll have the chocolate chip pancakes, please."

"Sure thing. I'll be right back with your drinks." The waiter collects Fluttershy's menu and hurries off.

You gaze across the table at Fluttershy, remembering how pretty she is, her gorgeous mane and dazzling eyes. Unsure what exactly to say, you keep looking at her until she notices your stare, which is quite a while, as she's seemingly avoiding eye contact, and only looks up when she notices the silence. She giggles and looks down again when she notices you smiling at her, and occasionally glances over at you, smiling to yourself at her cute giggle. You break this after a minute by asking a question.

"So, what are first dates on Equestria normally like? If you don't mind sharing."

Fluttershy looked alarmed for a moment, eyes widening, uncertain what to say. She is temporarily unsure what to say exactly, mumbling few words, before pausing, processing a thought in her head, and trying again.

"They're... nice. Two ponies typically just get together and have... fun".

You smile, fortunate that there wasn't some conflicting cultural difference between first dates, at least. "What about on Earth?" says Fluttershy.

"More or less the same, I suppose." You stop speaking as the waiter delivers your food, and lose track of the topic you were speaking of, instead turning your focus to your food, as you hadn't eaten much that day. Fluttershy was too cute when she was eating pancakes, trying to spread butter on them was a challenge with hooves. You made a mental note to make pancakes for her sometime. Before too long, you're paying for the meal and leaving, heading out the door once again and to your apartment. The strong winds make talking a little bit awkward until you're in the apartment building. You start up the stairs when Fluttershy poses a question.

"Not to complain or anything, Drew, but I was wondering if were were going to, uh, BE having fun, on our date."

And just like that, you froze mid step. Fluttershy had expected more, obviously! Not just a simple breakfast, what was the point of that? You had gotten meals together many times before. You quickly realized you had to make this date special, how could you have been so dumb? You should be doing something more exciting, but instead here you were, with a date that hadn't had fun with you. Your brain scrambles for something to say until you realize that Fluttershy, who was walking up the stairs a little bit before you, hadn't realized you had stopped. You ran to catch up with her

"Oh, that was just the beginning!" You claim, "Just, uh, fueling up for the rest of the fun we're going to be having all of today. I don't have plans at all, so we can do fun things all day!"

Fluttershy's eyes widen. "All day?" she asks, softly.

"Sure! If that's okay with you."

You walk down the hallway to your apartment door and open it for Fluttershy, following behind her. The house is the same way you left it, except Twilight apparently left to go somewhere. Fluttershy picks up a note from the kitchen counter.

I know I was going to ask you guys some things about how your date went, but I have some errands to run. I should be back around 8 or so.

Well, that's good. Having it be just the two of you would be more like a date. You smiled at Fluttershy.

"So I guess we're alone for a few hours." You winked, but instantly regretted it, fearing you might be more flirty than she'd be comfortable with. You sit down on the couch, then leaning over to look under the couch, hopefully find a deck of cards or something, anything fun for the two of you to do. You feel Fluttershy jump on the couch next to you, and her warm body up against your shoulder. You laugh and look to see what she's doing.

In a moment of boldness, she suddenly kisses you. You vision becomes consumed by pink mane and yellow coat, before you close your eyes and press your lips against hers. She pulls back, half hiding her face behind her mane, looking down for a moment, then looking back at you, trying to determine how you felt about that. To say you were delighted by her sudden boldness was an understatement. She stared at you with her big blue eyes, trying to determine your thoughts. You smile at her, turning your body towards her on the couch, and reach out your hand along the side of her face, running your fingers through her hair. She appears more excited than timid, smiling back at you, so you pull her towards you slightly, your lips meeting again, her soft face pressed against yours. Her hooves lean you back against the armrest of the couch. You wrap your other hand around her back, and feel something unexpected in return. You pause a moment, trying to determine what is happening. Still unsure what is going on, you look down to where Fluttershy's wing is trying, and failing, to unbutton your pants.

You and Fluttershy both pause, looking rather confused. This was completely unexpected from Fluttershy, but to her, you stopping is what confused her. In your combined confusion, the only thing both of you have to say is-


*Canterlot, Equestria, a little while ago*

Twilight Sparkle entered Princess Celestia's office, the large, tough looking guard-pony swinging the doors open in front of her. Most ponies would have been intimidated, but Twilight smiled as she trotted towards the Princess's desk.

"Twilight Sparkle," the princess beamed at her student as Twilight crossed the few steps in between the door and her mentor. After a short embrace, the Princess retreated behind her desk where there were several papers in front of her, magically lifting one to read.

"I didn't mean to cause you any trouble, but I had to speak to you immediately," spoke Celestia, recalling that she had magically teleported Twilight to the castle in order to speak to her as soon as possible, and save hours of time traveling on Twilight's part as well.

"Oh it was no problem, I'm just curious as to why."

The Princess sighed and put the paper down. "Sit down, Twilight." The Princess motioned to a seat nearby.

"I'm aware I've only recently sent you to study and find out how ponies interact with humans, but I'm afraid I might have to cut your research short."

Twilight gasped, and took a moment to ponder this. Before she could ask why, the Princess was speaking again.

"Since we've established contact between here and earth, crime has risen in Equestria, as have murder rates, suicides, and misuse of magic. After very stable levels for hundreds of years, the complexities of human lives here, human technology, human businesses, haven't meshed as well as we thought they would. Hate crimes against ponies on earth are a large problem as well." The Princess sighed and took a deep breath before continuing, "This being said, I've decided to propose legislation to the Equestrian-Earth Council to attempt to end interaction, including traveling of ponies and people in between the two worlds, at least until we can figure out a solution to this problem."

Twilight was shocked. "But there's so much to learn from humans. They have great history, business, and technology we've never been able to produce-"

"-or ever needed" interrupted the Princess. "In short, neither race in reliant on each other, and because of this, I've decided it is in Equestria's best interests to close our borders."

Twilight gaped at the Princess, unsure of what to say. Realizing that her mouth was open, she closed it, only to open it again to speak.

"But what about all the ponies currently living on Earth? Or all the people living here in Equestria?"

The Princess got up from her desk, "There's no perfect solution, but it has to be done. They'll have time to decide where to live, but where they choose to live will be their home for decades, maybe even centuries."

Twilight walked over to the papers she had glanced at on Celestia's desk. Statistics clearly showed that for whatever reason, humans didn't mesh with life in Equestria. She turned to the Princess.

"So why not just kick every human out of Equestria, why leave ponies on earth?"

"Because ultimately, they can make decisions for themselves, and have a right to choose to live which place they prefer, and be with those that they prefer, or love."

Twilight pondered over all this for a moment, staring at the paper in front of her.

"How long until you think the portals will be shut down?" Twilight asked.

"A couple months, potentially at the end of this year."

"So that's about two months for ponies and people to decide where they want to be?"

Celestia shook her head. "Not quite. I don't imagine that the news will be released until about a month prior. There's a lot that needs to be worked out first. Please, Twilight, it's important that no one finds out until then."

"Very well. I'll be returning to Equestria as soon as the announcement is made, I suppose."

Celestia smiled. "I hope I didn't interrupt anything, and that your friends on Earth understand your absence. It was very important that I talked to you today."

Twilight smiled back, "Of course. They were absent when you teleported me, but I left a note for them." She smiled, remembering the advice she gave to Fluttershy on the back on the note, knowing she would be the first to enter, as Drew would hold the door open for her. Hopefully it helped Fluttershy, and Twilight would have to spend a little extra time away from the apartment, perhaps gathering some reading material or visiting places here in Canterlot.

"You have very understanding friends. Still, I won't keep you from them any long, Twilight. I still expect a bit of research on Human-Pony interactions, due whenever you return."

Before Twilight had a chance to speak, the Princess rose to cast a teleportation spell, returning her to where she had initially been teleported from.


You ran your hand through Fluttershy's soft mane again, happy to be holding her. Despite the confusion of first dates in Equestria, the both of you had decided that since you were on Earth, and this was a unique circumstance, you could develop a slower, more paced method of dating. That hadn't stopped the two of you from spending the majority of the afternoon kissing on your couch. You looked at the gorgeous pony you were with and smiled, happy that she was here with you, and kissed her once more, softly.

You hear someone fumbling with the doorknob and sit up straight, innocently flipping on the T.V. You extend one arm around Fluttershy. Twilight enters the room.

"Hey guys. Sorry about returning a little bit earlier than expected." She sees the two of you settled together on the couch, and smiles a bit. "I'll just go to my room, I've got some things to finish up for Celestia anyways."

You pick up the remote as Twilight exits the room, turning off the T.V. and returning your attention to the gorgeous mare in your arms. You smile and consider kissing her, but are happy to gaze into her eyes and play with her mane as she folds her wing across your chest, smiling. If you had told yourself a few months ago you'd be cuddling a pony right now, you wouldn't have believed it. Still, with her sitting next to you, the warmth of her body on your side and her wing covering your chest, you couldn't quite explain it, but everything just felt... good.

Author's Note:

Thanks for reading! It feels good to be back writing! Please post comments below!

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Comments ( 164 )

Run wee children, run while you still can. The story has returned from the dead and wants your warm innards.:raritycry:

2629170 You say that like it's a bad thing!


An update?
Must... contain... joy... :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:
Can't do it... :yay:

Marvelous leadership Celestia.
We don't really want to face the problems so let's try to run away from them by living in ignorance.

Seems like Equestria has more things in common with our world than I thought.

2629221 <sarcasm> It worked so well for China and Japan though. </sarcasm>

holy hell it updated.:rainbowderp: must read now.....

2629253>>2629221 This is the same Pony that banished her sister to the moon for a thousand years //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Celestia.png

2629289 Did I lie? I'm terribly confused

Yay! it's back!!! But...Celestia's decision there...

It was to be expected. Lots of great humans but just enough bad humans to justify the Princess's decision. Now I'm all like "Fluttershy! Nuuu!" Who's to be giving her some sweet lovin' then?!

Yeah I remember China and Japan kept their borders closed from the world for as long as they could. I can't remember correctly but I think the reasons shifted over the years. At first it was out of pride and arrogance, thinking that they were superior and that the "western barbarians" didn't have anything worth trading for or learning from that they didn't already know or do better.

After that I think it was because they hated them, too nosy, butting into their business, a large collection of inferior races and/or monkeys.

Then finally, they realized how much of a dangerous threat the European empires were with their explosive imperial expansionist exploitation colonizing ambitions. By then it was too late. The Opium Wars in China are a good example of that.... :applejackunsure:

Boy you're playing humans out to be pretty bad. :applejackunsure: Seems like your losing interest, and just want to get this over with.

This updated? Awesome! And celestia just taking the easy way out and closing the borders? Of course she would:trollestia:

The laughable awkwardness of the date was spectacular.

2629319 It makes no sense. We're not that bad, and besides, the first couple years will always be rough. Transition and melding together two completely different sapient species is bound to have hurdles they will need to cross, but with time I bet it would sort itself out.

2629330 Not losing interest, there's a reason for this :twilightsmile:

checks feed sees new chapter for But she's a pony


Yay, it isn't dead! :yay:

Careful, Tia. You've just shown humanity a whole new world, and now you think you can just shut the door and walk away? Now that we know we can travel there, it's all but certain that we can figure out how to do it all on our own, with or without your consent. When the world decides that it needs more space, more food, more magic, or whatever, we'll be coming through. Sure, you can raise and lower your sun. We've reverse-engineered, miniaturized, and weaponized ours.

"We poison our air and water to weed out the weak. We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere. We nailed our God to a stick. DO NOT fuck with the human race!"

Yeah, yeah, I know. Missing the point entirely. I'm mostly kidding. Seriously, though, if you're afraid of the big bad humans, this is a singularly stupid way to "fix" things. :derpytongue2:

i wouldn't think celestia would lock one of the elements of harmony out of equestria. since she can teleport people/ponies however she may let fluttershy finish her schooling then teleport her back. i can just see her begging celestia to let her bring her coltfriend back with her.:rainbowkiss:

Glad to see you're back to writing! You left a pretty long cliffhanger for us there. The only problem I see is with your dialogue punctuation. You seem to leave no comma or period sometimes when writing dialogue. Still though, great writing and I look forward to your updates on the story!

EDIT: Featured!

Great to see your finally updated the story.
And Celestia is closing the borders?

<sarcasm> Please Princess Celestia don't close the borders. Its only a few bad apples and we generally want to live in the nice country. </sarcasm>

Also no pun intended on the "bad apples". *looks around*

Good to see you back, dude!
Really love this story.

2629477 There are plenty of fanfictions on this site that are rated teen AND have a sex tag. Unfortunately for me, this isn't one of them.

1. Wohoo, an update!
2. Celestia's bomb is pretty abrupt in my opinion. Seems just a touch out of character to do things that way (canceling Twi's research) rather than just having her faithful student handle the issues.

I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with this now that you're writing again :p

The trulley sad thing is that if Equestria DID exist, all the negative things Celestia mentiond would whitout a doubt happen......gotta love human corruption. :pinkiesad2:

I'm glad your back. Nice chapter.:twilightsmile:

"There's a problem with our cultures meshing. Crime is on the rise."

"I'm sure the logical thing to do is try to mend th-"


Yep, brilliant leadership as always Celestia. At least with banishing Luna to the moon ... well, she tried to talk to her.

I am torn. On the one hoof, I like where the romance is going. On the other, CELESTIA WTF.

I don't see things working out in Celestia's favor. As shown with US History, once you open the genie-bottle, there is no closing it again. Isolationism does not work. Not "needing" something does not mean trade will not exist. The only reason the Human-Pony Relations council would agree with her is because it is Celestia saying it, which is a pretty bad reason. If they go through with this, a lot of ponies AND humans will see an economic drop as an entire trade platform disappears.

That said, story wise this would be the linchpin for either Fluttershy or her boy-toy to move permanently to the other's homeworld, or be driven apart forever.

2629300You assured me that this chapter would be released last November!

WEEEE! :pinkiehappy: I'm so totally excited to see this story update again! :yay: This story has quickly become one of my most highly anticipated reads on this site, and I hope you continue showering us with your glorious work! Have a stache :moustache:, heck have two! :moustache:

Nice to see updates again! It seems to me that a border closing seems too drastic given the circumstances. I would have proposed steep tariffs and restrictive immigration reform to be implemented.

I'm hoping this will end with Celestia realizing what a fucking idiotic move this is.

Ah, the conflict. I'd almost thought we weren't gonna have it. This, however... this seems like overcompensating.

I wonder if Celestia will decide that Fluttershy doesn't have a choice in returning to Equestria, on the basis of being an Element of Harmony.

you know that she is right ? humanity isn't as nice and kind as pastel ponys ...
how was it said on 4chan so nice ? none of us is as cruel as all of us

@Uke-Joe damn it, i might have to read the whole thing from the beginning again. but a nice chapter

Well Celestia has been the leader of nation that has been extremely peaceful for at least a thousand years so suddenly having problems it doesn't seem uncharacteristic for her to have a kneejerk reaction. However I don't think she realizes what her actions are going to do and will make things worse.

2629609 I agree completely.

"Since we've established contact between here and earth, crime has risen in Equestria, as have murder rates, suicides, and misuse of magic. After very stable levels for hundreds of years, the complexities of human lives here, human technology human businesses, haven't meshed as well as we thought they would. Hate crimes against ponies on earth are a large problem as well."

This is exactly what would happen if portals between Equestria and Earth formed.

Granted, if it did happen, I agree with what others have said above me, in that closing the borders wouldn't fix anything. That being said, I don't think anything would fix the problem if this happened. Once you open the floodgates, you can't put the water back in. The floodgates should never have been opened in the first place.

An update!
This calls for the DANCE of JOY!

If they close the border there shall be war within our time.

This is just my guess on this, but something tells me she won't close the portals. As everyone has already said doing so would end badly for both worlds. If hate crime against ponies is bad already, imagine what will happen to the ponies that stay on earth. It'll be one scary place for ponies that's for sure. I can also see the economy going down the drain in Equestria. Sure they didn't ever need all the new technology and business, but now that they have it can they go without it? I'm thinking the answer to that is no, but I guess I'll wait and see what happens

Also I'm glad to see this fic is back, and that cliffhanger ending has finally been answered.

One quick thing, you don't need the comma in the title. It makes the title a comma splice.

It's alive... IT'S ALIVE!!!1



Eh, that still seems kind of like she doesn't even want to try.

2629874 Well, this is why you only allow legal immigrants...

TROLOLOLOLO!!! :trollestia::trollestia::trollestia:


You're right, we're not all that bad and that's exactly what I said. There are just enough bad people. It only takes just a few bad people to ruin it for everyone. That happens on many small and grand scales.

One example would be a chain of restaurants in a city. One guy, just ONE guy is caught smoking illegal substances on the clock and because of that, the higher ups install cameras in every store to make sure no one else is doing it even though it was one guy. That's a small scale. Here's a large scale example:

I'm honestly certain 99.999% of all Muslims are just as good of a people as any other members of any religion but it takes just one, just ONE psycho to crash a plane into a building and all of a sudden everyone is afraid of anyone that looks Arabic and security is tightened in airports across the globe.

Celestia's decision is a realistic decision based on a realistic world that has just enough people in it to justify her decision. Definitely an awful decision oh yes but she loves her ponies too much to believe it's not worth the risk of them learning how to deal with a people who have just enough brutally evil people who gladly show up at schools and theaters and start shooting up the place.

Granted this choice of hers is going to probably bite her in the flank later. I'm just not surprised when I see an author portray Celestia like that. I'd have been the same.

srysly what is there to try ? run an empire for 1000+ years (plus the time we know little to nothing about when Luna was banished to the moon and befor) without war, just in peace and harmony ...

if you can name me a period where there was no war like condition on earth where people sufferd and died for 10 years ...

i don't get it why people think celestia is a cold and heartless ruler... she've seen more then anyone else

but i'm getting off topic here ... :facehoof:

oh but she is trying, everyone can decide where they want to stay, humans can back to earth, and ponys back to equestria

Ahah I must admit, I wasn't expecting this update AT ALL :rainbowlaugh:

I started to read this story 2 days ago, when I saw that the last update was back in 2012, I thought "Awww noooo this amazing story is unfinished :'s "

And BAM update ! xD You're awesome dude :raritywink:

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