• Published 18th Jul 2012
  • 16,678 Views, 1,132 Comments

But, She's a Pony! - Uke-Joe



Starring You and Fluttershy, your new roommate at your apartment.

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Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Uke-Joe

You wake up. You smack your lips and taste that awful taste you get right after you sleep. You get up to go brush your teeth, and see Fluttershy looking for something in the fridge.

“If, uhm, if you don't mind me asking, what is this?” She holds up a package of hotdogs. You finish quickly brushing your teeth and take the last one out of the bag. “Hot dogs, why?” You toss it in the microwave and press 30 seconds.

“Oh, I was just wondering what it was made of. You don't have much fruit, or vegetables.” she mumbles, “N-Not that that's a problem!” she quickly adds.

You chuckle. “To be honest, I don't really know what hot dogs are made up of either. Probably pork and beef, not anything you'd like, I bet.” Your stomach rumbles. “I'm pretty sure there's some cheese pizza in the back of the fridge somewhere. That won't have any meat.”

She leans into the fridge and you can hear some jars of things being pushed around. She appears with a bag of what looks like pizza. She puts it on the small table next to you; you quickly revise your earlier thought that it looked like pizza. It looks more like a pizza shaped mold.

“Ugh. Yeah... You don't want to eat that. There's a store not too far from here where you can buy... uh...” You had no idea what ponies ate. Carrots or something, maybe? “Food.”

She seems to cringe at the thought of going out shopping, but her stomach grumbles, “Oh, no. It's quite alright.”

You look at her as you pull your hotdog out of the microwave. “I can hear your stomach from over here. I'm not paying more for rent just because you die cause you refuse to eat.” You eat half of the hotdog in one bite, “Come on, We can go grab some pizza too.”

You finish your hotdog and look back at her. She still seems unwilling to go, “I only arrived here today, the rest of my money still is in bits.” She frowns, rather concerned. You had seen bits before, and apparently they were worth their weight in gold, since they were gold.

“Do you have one on you?” you ask.

“Um, yes?”

“Good, let's go.”

You walk out the door and hold it open for her. She seems like she's about to protest, but caves in and follows you. You walk down the stairs and arrive outside. It's a pleasant summer day, and although Fall has almost started, it still feels as hot as it has been all summer. You guide her down the street and to a nearby Pizza Hut. It's not your first choice, but it's what's closest, so you enter it and get in line.

The line is moving slowly, and you can feel the eyes of customers on you, or rather, Fluttershy. It isn't like they haven't probably seen an Equestrian pony before, but it isn't exactly an everyday thing either. You feel a tap on your midsection. Looking down, Fluttershy is poking you with her muzzle, trying to get you attention. You're an average height guy at 5'10, but her shoulders don't even come up past your waist, and her head is probably just barely past your belly button. You ask her what's up.

“What's okay to eat for ponies?” she asks quietly, glancing around the store, nervous of all the stares she was receiving. You take this to mean no meat.

“Cheese pizza. Or if you want you could get peppers or black olives on it instead, I think.”

She seems to like the idea, but has another question, “Oh. And Are... Are you sure they'll accept bits?”

“Uh, actually probably not.” You realize that although bits were worth a lot, no one would ever go and pay for a meal with gold in a Pizza Hut. She starts to look worried, “It's okay though, I'll order. you can pay me back once you get your bits exchanged.” She smiles a thank you and you order one cheese pizza with olives and peppers and one sausage pizza.

You pay and take two cups for sodas. You hand her a cup and fill yours with Coke. You put your cup down at the table and notice her struggling with the machine, attempting to press the button with a wing while holding the cup with two hooves. You quickly step over there and fill it with what she was attempting to press; lemonade.

You still probably have a while to wait before your pizzas are done, so you attempt to start up a conversation.

“I never really asked you, but what will you be studying this next year?”

“Oh, I really would like to be a veterinarian.” she answered. It didn't exactly answer your question, but you could work with that.

“A vet? So you like animals then?”

She perked up at this. “Oh yes! I just love them! I love all animals, from the smallest little chipmunk, to the largest bear. Except for d-dragons. Dragons are scary, and mean.” She seems to quail at the thought

Your eyes widened. “Whoa now, a dragon? There are dragons in Equestria?”

"Um, well, I've only ever seen one, actually, but it was big, and really scary.”

She did seem terrified of dragons, but you couldn't not press the subject now. “You actually saw a dragon! I don't believe it.”

“Oh, well. My friends kind of made me go see it-” She started off into the story. The pizza arrived while she was telling you about their trip up the mountain to go see it. She enjoyed the pizza though, something you couldn't believe they didn't have in Equestria. She finished up the story as you walked out of the Pizza Hut.

“So, you really just walked up to a dragon, and told it to leave?” you asked, hardly believing the whole tale. Then again, Fluttershy didn't really seem like the type to lie just to entertain someone with a story.

“I know, I'm such a mean pony. But the smoke could have hurt my little animals!” she added, almost apologetic about the whole thing.

“I don't believe it, this is becoming my Facebook status.” You pulled out your phone and spoke out loud as you typed, “My... new... roommate... once... made... a... dragon... leave... its... cave. Bad... ass.” You post it, and almost immediately it got a comment.

“Bad what?” Fluttershy asked, while I read the comment from Mark:

Andrew Smith: My new roommate once made a dragon leave its cave. Bad ass.

Mark Willis: *Flank. Bad flank :P.

“Oh, uh, bad flank.” you corrected. She blushed and hid her face behind her mane, which made you laugh a little. You walked in silence until you reached the local grocery store, where Fluttershy wandered off to go fetch some edibles. You pulled out your phone. The picture you shared had received quite a few likes and comments from your friends. Fluttershy returned with what looked like a bunch of salad fixings and some frozen cheese pizzas.

“I hope you don't mind buying me all of this." She pushed the cart with her forehooves while standing on her hind legs, flapping her wings a bit for balance. “I mean, I know I know I'll pay you back but-”

“It's alright. I mean, if you fought off a dragon, just imagine what you could do to me!” You laughed as she pushed the cart towards the checkout, you thought she looked a little funny, pushing the cart like that, but didn't say anything. She chose a self-checkout, which was fine by you, since that was what you normally did anyways. You helped her check out her food and bagged it before paying and leaving the store.

It had begun creeping towards night, and the sun was almost completely gone, leaving the clouds with a nice, orange tinge. You carried your double armful of bags all the way back your apartment before realizing Fluttershy wasn't next to you. She really was quiet. You sighed and headed back outside.

It was hard to miss the yellow pegasus hunched over by a bush. You walked up to her, “Hey, it's gonna be night soon-” You stopped when you saw what she was holding. “Fluttershy! Put that squirrel down!” you said, and looked around to see if anyone was nearby. Fortunately no one was, so you bent down and pushed the squirrel away with your foot, “Shoo! Get out of here!”

“Stop it! He just wants a little bit of food for his squirrel family” She looked up with the biggest puppy dog eyes you had ever seen, even bigger than the eyes of a normal equestrian pony. You sighed, “Sorry Fluttershy, but you can't feed all the food you buy to random animals, they'll just keep coming back for more, and you'll go broke. Besides, they might have diseases and we can't have animals in the apartment anyways.”

She looked saddened at this, so you let her feed the rest of the piece of bread she had to the squirrel before leading her back to the apartment. She sniffled once or twice on the way back, and you legitimately felt sorry for her. As soon as you opened the door she scampered off to her room and shut the door behind her. You cleared out all your old food from the fridge and placed all her groceries in the fridge or freezer. You then walked into your room and shut the door behind you.

Just that morning you wouldn't have minded at all if she had decided to suddenly switch rooms and gone somewhere else. You were still a little irritated that that you had not only a pony but a mare pony as your roommate, someone you couldn't relate to at all. She wasn't even studying anything similar to you. Nonetheless, Fluttershy seemed alright. She was talking to you, even if it took a little encouragement from you. Maybe living with a pony wouldn't be awful. You had your privacy still, and didn't need to talk to her if you didn't want to.

“That's right! I have my privacy! She can't even open my door," you think to yourself. You jump over to your laptop, flip it open, and lay down on your bed.

***

You wake up earlier than you would most days, at around seven. You weren't exactly a morning person, but had been scheduling your classes so that you would have the afternoons to relax. Since you only had that weekend before school started, you decided to make the most of it, which of course meant playing as many video games as you felt like. You turn on your computer and grabbed the power cord, flipping your beanbag chair out into the hall between yours and Fluttershy's rooms. You grabbed some pretzels and decided to quickly check Facebook. Your computer quickly loaded the page. You loved everything about the computer, and had paid a good deal of money for it. Or maybe your dead grandmother you never knew paid for it with the money she left you, but that would mean she was also paying for most of your food, and most of your room for most of the past year. You would probably have to slow down your spending if you wanted that money to last, but the room was still worth it. You sighed as you checked your notifications.

Most people had finished commenting on the fact that your roommate was a pony. Your uncle thought you were a freak for sharing an apartment with a pony, but hey, you never saw him anyways. The only thing that really bothered you were a few of your friends that jokingly accused you of bestiality. You knew that they were just messing with you, but it still told you that the thought even went through their minds. This drew an argument from people that supported that kind of thing with equestrian ponies, which led to an 86 comment long war on your post. You sighed, not wanting anyone to even think something like that might be happening with you and your new roommate, and deleted the post.

You had just opened Steam and began to load Left 4 Dead 2 when your door knob to your apartment started jiggling. About a minute later, the jiggling stopped and you heard a knock from outside. Jumping up to open the door, you were not surprised to see Fluttershy standing outside. You swung the door open and stood aside.

“Thank you,” she said.

“No problem, hang on a second, I have an idea about the door.” You grabbed some duct tape from a drawer and affixed a little hoof shaped piece of tape to each side of the doorknobs. She slid a hoof in and tested it. You were pleased to see it worked. Happy with your craftsmanship, you attached the tape to the doorknobs on the bathroom, her room, and hesitated before putting them on your room. Then again, what if you had an accident or something, and you needed her to save you? You would use that as justification if anyone asked.

“What's up, Fluts?” you said. She looked at you quizzically, “Shy? Flutters? Throw me a bone here!”

“Um, I don't have a bone... I can get one, if you like?” You face-palmed.

“That's not what I meant, Fluttershy. Still, you've got to have a nickname or something don't you?”

“I... I don't know. I mean, if you really want to.”

“It's alright I guess. So where've you been?”

“Oh! I have money to repay you.” She pulls out some bills from what looks like two bags connected across her back. “Ish thish enough?” she says between a mouthful of bills.

You pull a 20 from her mouth, “That should cover what wasn't my food. Thanks, Flutters.” You've secretly decided that Flutters is the most appropriate nickname for her. She doesn't seem to mind, and starts fixing herself a salad.

“If you don't mind me asking, what were you planning on doing today? I mean, I wouldn't want to intrude if you have plans, or, if you're seeing anypony, erm, anybody.”

“It's fine, I don't really have anything to do anyways. Whataya need?”

“Oh, well then, since you're not doing anything, would you mind showing me around the area? I mean, if you want to. I just haven't been able to see the campus or anything yet.”

You agree, a bit grudgingly; It's not like Left 4 Dead 2 was going anywhere anyways, and maybe you would run into someone you knew. You head out the door and down the stairs.

“So Flutters, I haven't seen you use those wings of yours at all,” you say.

“I'm, um, not really the best flier. I mostly stay on the ground. I only fly when I really need to.”

You frown. If you had wings, they'd be the most used thing ever! “Please? I'm showing you around town.”

“I-I guess... if you want me to.” She flapped her wings and jumped a few feet off the ground, flying alongside you. “This is pretty much the limit of my flying.”

It may not have been fast, but it was still pretty cool. “I wish I had wings. That looks so cool.” Predictably, she blushed and hid her face behind her mane. You were watching her fly when one of her larger feathers suddenly popped loose. Fortunately, your cat-like reflexes allowed you to catch it in midair.

“Hey Flutters, do you want this?” You held out the feather.

“Eep!” She grabbed her feather, “Thank you! I must have forgot to check my feathers yesterday, or I would have taken care of that then.”

“What, is there a feather fairy or something?” you ask. She gives you a confused look, “You know, like the tooth fairy? You lose a tooth and then leave in under a pillow at night and the tooth fairy puts money under your pillow?”

“I've... never heard of that,” she says, a bit bemused. She lands back on the ground.

You guided her around the town, past the mall, the movie theater, everything that was within walking distance, and she entertained you with stories of her friend Rainbow Dash. The Sonic Rainboom especially interested you.

“That's pretty cool. A sonic Rainboom I mean. I wish I could see it.”

“Maybe she'll come visit sometime. I added her to my Facebook yesterday.”

“Really? Maybe I'll see if she'll add me.”

When you both arrived at the campus you walked around to the different buildings there. There wasn't much to it, really, which was one of the reasons why you didn't spend much time there. That and even your small apartment was larger than any dorm your college could offer.

“And that's about it!” you concluded the tour. “Now come on, I'll give you a tour of my favorite McDonald's.” It was about lunchtime anyways, so you ordered a 4 dollar menu burgers and a sweet tea. Fluttershy just got the salad and a drink, but was clear to leave out any meat at all from it, “If that's not too big a problem, I mean,” she added to the cashier. She paid for her meal and you offered to get her her drink. She happily allowed you to do so and found a table. You returned her an iced tea and broke into your burgers, easily finishing the first burger within ten seconds.

“You don't mind people eating meat around you, do you?”

“Oh, not really,” she answered, “I just don't think about it. It's not from any creature I ever knew.”

That answered your question, and you resumed eating your burgers. She attempted to pick at her salad with a fork, but eventually gave in and just leaned over and grabbed part of the salad with her teeth. She looked completely ridiculous, but probably not as ridiculous as she would have looked using a fork. Besides, who were you to judge. A few years ago and anyone spending this much time talking to a pony would have been recommended to a psychiatrist.

You were happy to return to the apartment with plenty of time left in the day. You grabbed your laptop and beanbag and carried them into your room, firing up your laptop again and decided that today felt like a Minecraft day. You noticed that Mark was on Skype and called him up as you entered your own world.

“YO!” you said, your typically friendly greeting to Mark.

“Hey man! What's going on?”

“Nothing man, just finished giving the grand tour of the not so grand Abbotsville to Fluttershy. She's actually pretty alright. Not saying we're best buds or anything, but she's normal enough for a pony. Not that I know any other ponies. She did tell me about her friend Rainbow Dash though.”

You paused your game to click back over to the Skype call, just in time to see his eyes widen, “Dude, you know like two famous ponies now? Rainbow Dash is the newest member of the Wonderbolts. Literally just happened today.”

“The who?” you ask.

“The Wonderbolts, man!”He held up a newspaper that showed a team of pegasi in flight suits handing a similar suit to another exited pegasus mare. “They're the best fliers in all of Equestria. Pretty much the only sport anyone here cares about is racing and flight competitions. Imagine a team of trick fliers, but now imagine them as really fast pegasi. See what I'm getting at?”

You laughed, “Sure man, sure. Hey you wanna meet Fluttershy? You can show her that newspaper.”

“Eh, why not? I've always wanted to meet a model. Has it hit you that you're living with a model?” He stuck a tongue out.

“Don't think like that, man. It's not cool. Now wait there and I'll get Fluttershy.”

You walk out of your room and knock on Fluttershy's door. She invites you in.

“Hey Flutters, come meet my friend on Skype. He has some news for you.”

“Oh, okay. What's Skype?”

“It's a way to talk to people over the internet. With a video of them and everything. It's cool, I'll set it up for you later. Come on, let's go!” You grab her hoof and drag her away to your laptop.

“Flutters, this is Mark, my old roommate. He transferred to a school somewhere in Equestria. Mark, show her that newspaper.”

Mark waves and holds up a newspaper to his camera.

“Is that... Rainbow Dash?!” Fluttershy squealed. “Oh, I wish I could congratulate her! Oh, and it's, um, nice to meet you, Mark.”

“It's a pleasure meeting a model, Fluttershy.” Mark grinned.

“Oh, you heard about that?” Fluttershy blushed.

“What? I don't believe it!” you cry.

“I told you it was true!” exclaimed Mark.

“I didn't enjoy it very much though.” Fluttershy said quietly.

“Well gotta go, Drew, see you later man.”

“Alright, hit me up on Facebook though.”

“Sure thing man. Later, Fluttershy.”

Fluttershy smiled as Mark hung up the call. “He seems... nice.”

You laugh. “Everyone liked Mark. Apparently he decided Canterlot University was the place for him though.”

Fluttershy trotted out and back to her room. A few minutes of minecrafting passed before you heard her voice again.

“Um, Drew? I was wondering if you would help me talk to Rainbow Dash like you did with Mark? That is, if you don't mind, I mean.”

“Sure, gimme a sec.” You put your laptop to the side and nearly tripped over your power cord before reaching the door and heading into Fluttershy's room. You quickly pull up the Skype homepage and begin the download.

“It says it's gonna take about, 31 minutes to finish installing it. Does Rainbow Dash even have a Skype account?”

“Yes, she messaged me her name for it on Facebook.”

You go over to your room and grab your laptop, bringing it to Fluttershy's room. “Here, type her username for Skype here while Skype downloads on your computer. You can talk to her there for now.” You place the computer in front of where Fluttershy was sitting on the floor.

Fluttershy smiled and attached her computer touchpad using device, which as it turned out doubled as finger to type with. Although painfully slow for you to watch, soon enough Fluttershy had successfully added Rainbow Dash as a contact to your Skype. You help her click the call button and turn on your webcam to start the call. An image of a cyan pegasus with a rainbow striped mane appears when Rainbow connects to the call.

“Rainbow! I'm so very happy for you! Congratulations!” cried Fluttershy.

A video of her friend appeared on the screen as Rainbow Dash turned her webcam on. Fluttershy smiled at the sight of her friend, who was clad in the blue suit with a bolt on the side of it, the same one you saw in the newspaper Mark showed you.

“It was a piece of cake! Nothing to it!” Rainbow boasted, “I had the whole thing wrapped up before the tryouts even ended. Besides we all saw this day coming right? Now how about you, Fluttershy! Having fun in people land or wherever?”

“Oh, yes! I arrived just a few days ago and I'm settled into my apartment now. It has plenty of room, like you suggested.”

“Great! How's your roommate? Is it weird living with a, what's-it-called... woman?”

Fluttershy giggled, “A human if you're being non-gender specific. But a man in this case. He's really interested in your stunts, especially the sonic Rainboom.”

“I already have fans in Human land? Man, we may need to do a tour there! Is he there?”

You get up from Fluttershy's desk and sit down by Fluttershy. “Hey Rainbow, I'm Drew.”

“What's up Drew? You seem like an alright guy to me. Just don't let anything happen to Fluttershy or I'll whip your fl-”

“Rainbow! Drew is really nice. He showed around town today and helped me use my computer,” Fluttershy said.

“Haha, relax Drew I'm just playing with ya. You know, maybe if we do tour in people land I'll bring the girls with me-” Rainbow and Fluttershy chatted on about different subjects, but for the most part you tuned it out and went to your room, trying to organize the books you would be needing for the upcoming week.

You checked back in with Fluttershy once Skype had loaded on her computer and you set her up with an account. Surprisingly enough, the username Fluttershy was taken, so she used the nickname you had given to her, Flutters, instead. You showed her how to call Rainbow and reclaimed back your computer.

Fluttershy and Rainbow were still chatting when you exited your room late for dinner. After eating 30 pizza rolls on the couch, the one piece of furniture in what divided the hallway (with the doors to your room, Fluttershy's room, and outside your apartment) and the area with the fridge, a small table, and a microwave, (what you generously called the kitchen) you laid back on your hands and closed your eyes. You may not trust unicorns still, but the small talking ponies with wings were alright at least. Fluttershy sure seemed to warm up to you fast. Maybe you were just a really friendly guy. For now at least, it didn't matter, as you were happy to let yourself drift to sleep.

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