• Published 18th Jul 2012
  • 16,674 Views, 1,132 Comments

But, She's a Pony! - Uke-Joe



Starring You and Fluttershy, your new roommate at your apartment.

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Chapter 1

Uke-Joe

“No, there's been no mistake--she is your roommate.”

“But, she's a pony! She's a mare pony!”

“So?”

“So it's-” you sighed. You had been arguing in your head ever since you found out your new roommate was going to be a pony, a mare pony at that. It wasn't like your roommate was actually a woman, but still, wildly inappropriate no less. Plus, you had always been a little unsure about the talking ponies. It wasn't like they meant any harm, but you had no idea how to act around them. And then there was the fact they didn't eat meat or play video games or do anything you liked. You sighed. “Fine, whatever.”

Accepting defeat, you made your way back to your room. It wasn't worth trying to switch rooms. You had been in that room since last year, and even a pony couldn't make you move out of it. Last year's roommate, Mark, had disappeared over the summer, not that you had much of a summer, taking classes for all but two weeks of it. Mark was by no means the best roommate ever, but anyone that pitched in money for your favorite deep dish sausage pizza was good enough for you. Plus he was a pretty funny guy.

Not that it mattered now anyways. You reached your room where you had fled when the pony outside introduced herself as your roommate. You were half willing just to man up and take out a bigger loan or find a job and pay all the rent after you found out that Mark had left. You sighed again and entered you room.

Inside, sure enough, was a pony. A pegasus, actually, not that it mattered. Well, it did a little bit. Unicorns scared you. If they ever turned violent there was no stopping that magic of theirs, you were sure of it. Laws had been passed ever since the last year when the gateway between your two worlds had been discovered, requiring a police force of unicorns, just in case, but what if they turned violent too? Shaking your head and turning off your conspiracy theorist side of your brain, you walked over to introduce yourself to the pony.

“Hey, I'm Andrew, but seriously don't call me that. Everyone just calls me Drew.” You extended your knuckles, remembering hearing somewhere that ponies introduced themselves with a fist bump, not a handshake.

“Oh, um, Hi. I'm Flu-” Her voice became inaudible as she tried disappearing behind her hair. Or mane. Whatever they wanted to call it.

“Didn't quite catch that.” You smiled at her, pretending to be friendly. First impressions and all that.

“Fluttershy,” she finished, just loud enough so that you could hear her. These dang pony names. At least they told you a bit about themselves. Now you knew she was probably very shy, as if you didn't realize that already.

“Well it's nice to meet you Fluttershy. Like I said, just call me Drew.”

“It's, um... nice to meet you, D-Drew.”

“It's nice to meet you too.” You lied. It might have been nice to meet you if you weren't a pony. “If you need anything I'm just over there” you point to your room. The rooms were clearly designed to hold two people per room, but you and Mark hadn't minded paying extra for a little privacy. You assumed Fluttershy wanted the extra space too, must be a pony thing.

You left her and jumped into your chair by your computer, flipping it open. You logged onto Facebook and left a status:

Andrew Smith: Found out my roommate is a pony. Might post a picture later. Idk.

Probably not, but you tended to keep your friends informed, posting what some might consider too many statuses a day. You cruised down to see what everyone had been up to that day. Nothing interesting. You clicked on the notification that had just appeared.

Andrew Smith: Found out my roommate is a pony. Might post a picture later. Idk.

Mark Willis: Dude, you need to do that! That's awesome! Probably almost as cool as me right :P? What's his name?

You grinned. You had completely forgot you had Mark added on Facebook, considering he had been reluctant to get one at first anyways. You left a comment in reply.

Andrew Smith: Her name, Fluttershy. And where did you run off to anyways? I was worried I was going to have to pay for this entire place by myself!

You posted it and waited for the next comment. It came painfully slow. A full 90 seconds later you clicked on the notification.

Mark Willis: Dude, are female ponies and dudes supposed to have rooms together? I guess since you are, but still. And about that, hit me up on chat.

You obliged and clicked on his name on the chat bar.

Andrew Smith: Dude! I forgot I had you added on facebook!

Mark Willis: Yeah man. So really? Your roommate is a pony?

Andrew Smith: A pegasus.

Mark Willis: What's she like?

Andrew Smith: Yellow, Pink hair.

Mark Willis: I think it's a mane.

Andrew Smith: Okay fine, pink mane. She's really shy if you couldn't tell from her name.

Mark Willis: LOL! No really?

Andrew Smith: Haha yeah. So anyways where'd ya run off to man?

Mark Willis: Believe it or not, I transferred to a school in Equestria, haha.

Andrew Smith: WHAT? Ponyland? Really man? What about stuff like... Meat? You love meat!

Mark Willis: Yeah, there's actually quite a few human restaurants around here. In the city at least.

You heard a knocking on your door interrupting you from your conversation. You typed Mark a quick be right back and yelled, “It's unlocked!” You heard someone fumbling with the doorknob. Turning to face the door, the slick, round doorknob was clearly a problem for whoever was at the door.

You walked over and opened the door, dragging Fluttershy, who was connected by the teeth to your doorknob, along with the door...

Making a mental note to wash that later, you asked her what was up.

“Um, I was wondering if you w-would help me use my laptop, if it's not too much to ask...” she asked, her eyes never leaving the ground.

“Sure,” you respond. You wondered what the point of having a computer was if you couldn't use it, but decided not to question her. You followed her into her room, where a nice Macbook was opened on her desk. You leaned over the desk as she sat down on a chair. You didn't use a Macbook, but heard they were a lot simpler than other computers. She tried using the touchpad with a hoof.

“Ok, that won't work because it needs to be touching skin or something like that to move the cursor,” you said. “I would recommend getting a mouse to plug into your computer."

“Oh, sorry. I think the man in the store told me to buy this.” She picked up a stylus that looked like it could be attached around her hoof. Sure enough, she strapped it on and placed in against the touchpad, moving the cursor.

“Oh, alright. Anything else?”

She opened Firefox and waited for her home page to load. “I don't know why, but this isn't working.”

“Oh, that's easy, you're probably not connected to the internet." You walk around her and crouch down to the laptop. "If you don't mind?” You reached over and selected the right Wi-Fi to connect to, typed in the password, and refreshed the page. It now loaded almost instantly.

“Oh, thank you so much.” She actually smiled.

“No problem,” you said. You began to walk out the door until curiosity got the better of you. “Hey, you don't have a Facebook do you?”

Her confused look answered your question. Since she was probably going to need a Facebook at some point if she wanted to get to know anyone, you turned around and typed in the address. A few minutes and a couple of explanations later, one of which being why she would need a Facebook, you had managed to help her set an account up. You even used her webcam to get a picture of her for her profile picture, which flashed before you were able to get out of it, but she was unwilling to take another, probably photo shy. You knelt down so you could get better access to her keyboard.

“Anyone you know that might have a Facebook?” You asked, clicking the search bar.

“Try, um. T-Twilight Sparkle,” she said.

Not commenting on the name, probably a pony that made sparkles or really likes twilight. You typed in the name and came up with one result, from Ponyville, Equestria. You clicked on her profile.

“Yes! That's her!” Fluttershy said. You clicked the add friend button. “How do I talk to her?”

“Well, I just added her for you, but it may-” you were cut off by a notification. Twilight Sparkle had accepted Fluttershy's friend request and sent her a message. Fluttershy made a high pitched noise and rushed to her keyboard slowly typing a message back. You walked back to your room and back to your conversation.

Andrew Smith: Sorry bout that, was helping the roommate make a facebook. It's weird seeing a pony on a computer.

Mark Willis: You get used to it. Anyways what's her name again? Fluttershy?

Andrew Smith: Yeah, I put her facebook name as Fluttershy Fluttershy though, since you need a last name.

Mark Willis: Are you going to add her?

You thought about it. Friending someone on Facebook wasn't exactly being friends with someone. You had plenty of Facebook 'friends' that you didn't like at all. Fluttershy was new to Facebook though, so she might misinterpret it.

Andrew Smith: I guess. I need to share her profile picture anyways, don't I?

You searched her name and clicked the add friend button. A few moments later a notification appeared that she had accepted your request. You clicked on her profile picture and shared it to your wall, adding the note, “My new roommate and me.” Mark messaged you.

Mark Willis: Hey! I've seen that pony before! She used to be a model or something.

You laughed out loud. The idea of her being a model was just too funny. She had refused to even take another picture on her own computer.

Andrew Smith: Yeah I bet man. She's way too shy to ever be a model.

Mark Willis: Idk man. Maybe that's why she quit and is going to Abbotsville University with you. All I know is I can't walk into a store without seeing her face on one of their products.

Andrew Smith: Alright Man, I'll ask her about it later. I feel like napping for now.

Mark Willis: Napping?? Isn't it like, 2 over there?

Andrew Smith: Yup! Perfect time for a nap! Besides you know how it is, I stayed up late playing games :P.

Mark Willis: Lol. Alright peace man.

Andrew Smith: Peace.

You didn't really feel extraordinarily tired, but there was nothing to do. You shut your laptop and flopped onto your bed and shut your eyes.

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