• Published 18th Jul 2012
  • 16,685 Views, 1,132 Comments

But, She's a Pony! - Uke-Joe



Starring You and Fluttershy, your new roommate at your apartment.

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Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Uke-Joe

Home Sweet Home

Not that you hadn't enjoyed your vacation, but you had been eager to return back to your comfortable apartment. Your returning to class was a disappointing greeting to your arrival back to Abbottsville, but today you weren't going to worry about that just yet as you kick back on the couch and flip open your laptop. Since Fluttershy had class today, you decide you might as well relax a few hours until she returned, You update your Facebook Status to reflect your current mood.

Andrew Smith: Bored, Anything I should do today?

It probably wouldn't be too long until somebody posted a wiseass remark on such an easy target, something along the lines of "get a life". You open up a game of Minesweeper for the wait. Pointing your mouse over the upper lefthand corner square, you click, exploding a mine as facebook blinks open a chat with Mark. Stunned from your sudden doom in minesweeper, you read Mark's message to you.

Mark Willis: Why don't you..... Grow some and ask Yellow Model Pony out on a date, hmm???

Smiling at his joking attitude, you type in a response.

Andrew Smith: Maybe I will....

Mark Willis: Really?!?

You pause, bit your lip, and shuffle around a bit on the couch before answering again.

Andrew Smith: ...Probably not.

Defeated, you get up to walk over to fetch yourself a soda as you wait a response from Mark. Forgetful of Twilight's presence in the household, you leave your computer on the couch. Sure enough, once you return from your adventure to fetch a soda, Twilight has positioned herself on the couch, hooves neatly folded beneath her as she lays down, reading your messages.

"Hi Twilight!" You shout, startling her as you shut your laptop and pick it up. She looks at you, embarrassed a bit.

"Good morning, Drew!" she responds, somewhat sheepishly. "I just saw your laptop open, and I-"

You interrupt her, saving her from what must have been an embarrassing apology, "It's fine Twilight, there's probably not anything there you couldn't have determined already"

She smiles in acknowledgment as you sit down on the other side of the couch, "I suppose it does make sense-" She gasps in realization, "So outside of my hotel room, you two...."

You scratch the back of your head, "Yeah..."

"So the two of you are together?"

You pause a moment before answering, "No. Not yet anyways, hence Mark bothering me about it"

"Wow! This is very interesting! Great research for me to send to Princess Celestia! I have front view seating to one of the first human-pony couples! I can't wait to tell the Princess about this!"

"Woah, hold on, Twilight!" You exclaim, "I haven't even asked her out on a date yet!"

She gives you a puzzled look, "Well what are you waiting for?" She lifts you into the air and out the door, "Tell me how it goes!"

A click sounding from the door alerts you that you are probably locked out of your own apartment. "Wait! Should I be worried about any cultural differences or something? Maybe I should take some time to consider this!"

"I'm sure you'll be fine!" Twilight calls back to you. Not entirely comforted by this, you doubted that Twilight, overly excited to provide Princess Celestia with information, would let you in until you had at least talked to Fluttershy. Sighing, you make your way down the hall.

***

Twilight stepped over to where Drew had left his laptop, and opened it. She logged onto her own Facebook and clicked on her messages to send one to her friend Rarity

Twilight: Drew is on his way to ask Fluttershy out now! Although if you hadn't been so insistent that they followed the proper order of how you think relationships should work, and forced me to keep them apart until Drew had asked her out, they'd probably already be in each other's hooves... erm.... arms.

It wasn't long before Rarity had typed her message and sent it back, a perk of having magic in the world of computers.

Rarity: I have the support of countless authors and relationship experts to back me up on this! Fluttershy should not be stepping up and kissing him until they've at least acknowledged that they're together! Nevermind that he should have made the first move! Besides, where would they have gone from there? It's not like you would have let the two of them in your room to do it, and don't even bring up the possibility of the hallway

Twilight: Maybe humans have a much slower and drawn out process for that kind of thing, Rarity. At any rate, I doubt that they'll have a typical or normal relationship, unless you've contacted an expert on human-pony relationships recently?

Rarity: No, but I have no doubt that I would have, were one to exist. I suppose it'd be useful to know exactly how the process was for humans.

Twilight: Well, there's one on his way to Fluttershy as we speak, so I'll be sure to send you a report on how he approaches her. If I find out, that is!

Rarity: I'm so excited for her! Yes, please do! I'll just be waiting anxiously, then!

Twilight smiled as she shut the laptop, logging out of her Facebook first. There wasn't any reason for Fluttershy or Drew to not submit to an interview, after all! Twilight trotted off to her room, fetching paper to prepare a list of questions for her friends to answer once they returned.

***

You make your way out of the building when you're stopped by a thought that's just entered your mind: When was the last time you had asked any person, let alone anypony, out on a date?

You take a moment to consider this. In fact, the answer was not since highschool. That was a girl though, what if ponies were different? They were a whole different culture! Who were you to just assume that the typical dating procedure would be similar enough for you to just waltz on over to any pony you pleased and ask them if they'd like to join you for a meal or something?

Of course, both Mark and Twilight had encouraged you, and they had both either gone through the process or observed and read about it, for sure. And there was the fact that Mark was dating a Pony, so cultures couldn't be that different. If you really had to, you could just ask Mark about it later, you finally conclude. Satisfied with your findings, you continue on your way towards where Fluttershy would be.

Since there was still a bit of time until her class got out, you decide to wait on a bench not far from the building you knew her class was in, although unsure of which room in the building exactly.Not that that particularly mattered, as invading her class to ask her a question, regardless of the importance of the question to you, would probably only serve to embarrass her and hurt your chances of her answering towards your favor severely. You decide it's best if you just sit there, innocently chopping apart fruit on your phone. After a few games, a new highscore, and what feels like a couple minutes has passed, you check the time on your phone, realizing that it had actually been 15 minutes. You realize due to your sweaty hands, weak knees, and slightly sick feeling in your stomach that you are more than likely nervous about this. Or that the brand name "Mom's Spaghetti" you ate this morning made you sick, which was unlikely because you had been eating that brand since you were a kid and your mom made it for you. Surprisingly, checking your reflection in your phone's screen calms you slightly, as you still appear calm and confident, smiling.

A flow of people to your right alerts you that some class has ended, so you quickly pocket your phone, standing up and searching for your pink maned friend. At the tail end of the mass of people, toting her bag of some sort for her books, you spot Fluttershy.

"Flutters!" You call out. Her ears lift and she looks your way, smiling as she sees you. She trots over to where you are.

"Oh, Hello Drew! It's nice to see you here" She smiles softly.

"Thanks Flutters," you stand up, walking towards the exit with her, your knees shaking and palms sweating, but smiling anyway, "I was just wondering if maybe you'd like to go, erm, get something to eat?" You pause, waiting a moment for an answer, before quickly adding, "Like, on a date?"

A bit surprised by your sudden offer, she looks up and smiles, apparently eager to, "Oh, I'd love to! I'm glad you asked me!"

A rush of happiness in your success pours over you, curing your shaky knees and sweaty palms. You gleefully add a little hop to your step, before feeling silly and toning it down to a dopey smile on your face.

"So are we going back to the apartment? Is Twilight there?"

"I believe she is, but I figured we could go to a restaurant or something, there's a diner not too far from here..." you trail off as you catch a surprised look on her face.

"Won't there be people there?" She asks.

"Of course! Well, probably. Why wouldn't there be?

***Equestria, a few months ago***

Mark paused outside of Breeze's door, knocking on it a few times first. Happy that she had asked him over for a date, he was still a bit curious of why she insisted they meet at her house for a first date. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but it was strange enough that she had asked him out, and then insisted that it should be at her place, even when he suggested that he would pay for a meal or a movie elsewhere. Still, he wasn't going to complain. Breeze was a competent mare, he wasn't going to question her judgement.

It wasn't as if they hadn't had feelings for each other for a while, and even hung out outside of work before. He was also pretty sure he had caught her checking him out a few times before, a crime of which he admitted to himself he was guilty of also, only vice versa. She was an attractive mare, at least to him. He smiled as she opened the door.

"Hey Mark! Come on in! I'm glad you could come!" She eagerly invited him.

Ducking into her house, he observed that it was recently cleaned. Cool Breeze made her way past him, and he noticed a very pleasant smell, something she was wearing, perhaps? He followed her into a room and sat down on the couch, observing a fire going in the fireplace.

"So what've you got planned? Are we watching a movie or something?"

Breeze gave Mark a questioning look, "That's... not exactly what I had in mind". Then, a new look was given to Mark, one he hadn't seen before.

"Uh, alright. I'm down for whatever" Mark smiled, "So, what will we be doing this evening?"

She got up from beside him and guided him to follow her with her wing. Moving around the couch and towards another door, she put a hoof up to the door and brushed his face with her tail as he followed behind her.

"Why don't I just show you?" She answered, opening the door to her bedroom. Unsure of what to make of this, yet excited, Mark dumbly followed her, grinning wildly.

***Equestria, Carousel Boutique, earlier this current day***

Rarity waited impatiently as she shut trotted away from her computer. Although Twilight had insisted she buy the thing in order to keep in touch with Fluttershy, she had quickly discovered the many uses it had, and grown to enjoy the thing. She smiled as she trotted off to check on what orders she had to finish this week.

"Oh I hope that their date goes okay, Fluttershy is more than deserving of a capable stallion" Rarity worried aloud.

Peeking out of a doorway, Sweetie Belle entered the room, "What was that, sis?"

"Oh, nothing... Fluttershy has a date with that Drew fellow today and I was hoping she enjoyed it. You know how well all of her other dates have ended up..."

"You mean the ones that you tried to set up for her, but she just sat there and couldn't build up the courage to actually ask them?" Sweetie Belle inquired

"No, Sweetie, those aren't really dates at any rate. I'm talking about when she actually did invite a stallion into her home."

"Oh! And then she just sat there and didn't build up the courage to do anything!"

"Precisely! It's not like those stallions she asked were real keepers, but none the less, a mare has a duty to fulfill on a first date!"

"I thought a first date was just when two ponies got together and had fun" Sweetie Belle innocently stated.

"Wha-? Oh, yes! Sorry Sweetie, I don't mean to confuse you about anything!" Rarity recalled what she had told her younger sister about relationships, "At any rate, they should be having fun, if their doing it right"

"Doing what right sis?"

Rarity face-hoofed, and yet still remembered that her young sister didn't even have her cutie mark yet. She sighed as she was about to respond to her sister, and then a wild thought hit her. What if in human culture, ponies, or people, actually went out and legitimately had fun for an evening during their first date. What if Fluttershy, unaware of this, and Drew, unaware of the typical process in pony culture, got stuck in a horribly awkward situation all due to this grand misunderstanding on both sides! What if Drew, and Humans in general, went through a painstakingly long dating process, taking planned steps and progressing ever so slowly until finally, often times months into a relationship before they finally accomplished what most ponies would on a first date. Rarity paused, horrified at the situation that this might place her friend in, if she wrongly assumed that Drew was asking her to a place just to have-

"Sex"

Rarity paused, acknowledging that she had accidentally answered her sisters question. Sweetie Belle, on the other hand, looked thoroughly confused.

"...Rarity?"

"Yes Sweetie Belle?"

"....What's sex?"

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