• Member Since 7th Feb, 2015
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Krickis


I’m like a literary siren, feeding off the negative emotions of fictional characters. Ko-fi

T
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Nurse Redheart loves her job. She’s the head nurse at Ponyville Hospital, and she helps take care of everypony in town. It’s a very rewarding job, and she loves it very much. At least that’s what reminds herself of every day.

The only thing that Redheart loves more than her job is Feverfew, her pet skunk. So when Feverfew gets sick after the veterinarian’s office is closed, Redheart knows there’s only one pony she trusts with her beloved pet’s care.

Meanwhile, Fluttershy seems to think that Feverfew isn’t the only one with a problem, and that not all ailments are physical.


Written as a birthday present for ArchAngelsWings, my partner in both life and horsewords :yay:

Proofread by ArchAngelsWings, Eddie Grammar, and Mind Jack.
Cover art by Pasu-Chan.

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 30 )

I love this story already?
As usual your writing is excellent I can't wait to read the rest of it! Well done!

8505232
Wow, that was fast! I didn’t expect any comments so soon, but I’m certainly not complaining :yay: I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying it, and I hope you’ll continue to like where it goes from here :twilightsmile:

Can't say I've heard of a pet named after a painkiller before. Like how this is going though.

I always enjoy your stories Krickis, they always make for a good read. Can't wait for more! :pinkiesmile:

8505263
The name was chosen both because flowery names for skunks is something of a tradition (started by Bambi having a skunk named Flower), and because it goes with the theme of the story; Feverfew is a flower that has a number of medicinal uses, including treating anxiety :raritywink:

8505273
Wow, comments coming in fast today. This one snuck in while I was replying to another lol

Anyway, happy you’re enjoying the story, Script, and I look forward to bringing more to you :scootangel:

8505274
Interesting. I had only heard of it being used for headaches/breaking fevers.

I havent started reading and I'm already hooked.

8505853
Haha well I hope you enjoy it whenever you do get to reading it :raritywink:

I remember my piano teacher had a pet skunk when I was a kid. Sweetest little bugger.

8508252
Nice! I love skunks so much, they're pretty much by dream pet :scootangel:

I love this story and can't wait for this story to be completed

8516470
Thank you, and I'm looking forward to bringing more of it to you :raritywink:

I like the way this develops. While Fluttershy is moving fast from a time perspective it doesn't feel rushed as it proceeds in a way that feels natural.

8519260
Thank you :scootangel: And I’ll never get tired of Fluttersly being the more forward pony while flirting :ajsmug:

derpicdn.net/img/2016/9/17/1251279/full.jpeg

8519297
It makes for a nice trait to exist beneath the initial shyness. Real trick seems to be doing it without it seeming out of character.

8519313
Agreement on both points. I think it comes off as a little less strange these days, given that the past few seasons have shown Fluttershy being a little more assertive in situations where she feels comfortable, but it’s easy to lose her character when not relying on the shy part of her personality. I’ve written Shy more than anyone else, and this is probably the most forward I’ve made her. I do think she’s moving a little fast here (even for my usual more assertive interpretation of her), but the general shortness of this fic kinda required it :twilightblush:

8519347
Makes sense. Short romance stories always suffer a touch because of pacing. At least those that cover the falling in love portion.

Fluttershy stood up as well and took Redheart’s plate from her, carrying it the rest of the way to the sink. Before she could return for her own, Redheart had already grabbed it and followed behind her. Fluttershy smiled and shook her head when she noticed Redheart’s insistence on helping.

I could believe that helping is her problem.

This chapter was probably the biggest pain out of anything I’ve ever written. And it wasn't even because of how close to me this subject is. I'm just... really not into writing stories that aren't full of drama :facehoof:

Well I have not a single problem with the chapter, but I admit it looked like it would went odly fast, at least for how I picture everything most of the time.
Otherwise the chapter was really really nice.

8519503
I d think it came out nicely, writing it just went exceedingly slowly :twilightsheepish: The relationship moving fast is partly because flirty Shy is best Shy and mostly because with only three chapters to work with, I didn’t have the time to have it grow as slowly as I normally would.

Anyway, glad that you’re enjoying the story :pinkiehappy:

Had this been full of drama I probably wouldn't have read it :). Really liked this chapter.

8519528
Drama is usually where it’s at for me :twilightsheepish: But I’m happy to have you on board for this rare example of me using my powers for good :yay:

8519511
hhhhmmm I haven't really seen Fluttershy as that flirty here, but I could think of some reasons why she might think that she have to take her chance here.

Flirtyshy is probably like making Pinkie perverted. I prefer Derpy clumsy or motherly even if some don't like that and shy a bit more shy, nervous and well pretty much what you would call normal I guess, however what she did so far worked quite nicely. I just would like some background of why Fluttershy might could have fallen in love with Redheart.
Now that I think about it it really looked like they might have already quite the background, could you maybe add a chapter for Fluttershy, that explains it a bit more or just her thoughts while Redheart was at work?

I really liked it that this time it wasn't the "main char", which thoughts we are reading and stuff, who was blushing and all that nonsense. I liked it that this time Fluttershy the "second main char" (how I would call it), were the one having most of those reactions.

I didn’t have the time to have it grow as slowly as I normally would.

Well...I don't know how you go trough the week so I won't really say I know that you have the time, but I could image if you just take a little bit longer, than you could still have done it somehow.

Well I had my own thoughts about the chapter and in the end I thought it still works pretty well.

8519652
There’s no big reason for Fluttershy’s attraction. She’s interested in seeing where things might go between them, but for all her bold moves, hugging, holding hooves, etc. there’s no talk in the chapter of being in love or dating. Right now they’re just interested in one another because they both think a relationship between the two of them could be a good thing. Sometimes people just flirt and sometimes that flirting grows into something more. That’s what’s happening here :ajsmug:

Now that I think about it it really looked like they might have already quite the background, could you maybe add a chapter for Fluttershy, that explains it a bit more or just her thoughts while Redheart was at work?

The third and final chapter’s already been written, I’m afraid, and I don’t plan on doing more once it’s posted :twilightblush:

Well...I don't know how you go trough the week so I won't really say I know that you have the time, but I could image if you just take a little bit longer, than you could still have done it somehow.

I’ve spent months working on this story, homie. And anyway, I meant that the story didn’t have time to move slower, because it’s only three chapters long. If it was a longer story, it would have time for their relationship to grow more slowly. But since I only ever wanted to give it three chapters, things had to happen a bit more quickly.

8519704

Right now they’re just interested in one another because they both think a relationship between the two of them could be a good thing.

I noticed that they somehow felt attached already, I just don't get where the point was, that they thought
" yes a relationship with her would be the best thing."

Sometimes people just flirt and sometimes that flirting grows into something more. That’s what’s happening here

Yes I know it can happen like that too, I guess I'm just personally not someone that does this stuff without thinkint at least a minute about it.
I prefer to get to know them more.

I’ve spent months working on this story, homie. And anyway, I meant that the story didn’t have time to move slower, because it’s only three chapters long. If it was a longer story, it would have time for their relationship to grow more slowly. But since I only ever wanted to give it three chapters, things had to happen a bit more quickly.

Only three chapters planned?, okay then it is something different. I mean I could expect more if the story would be longer, but I guess it it like in a one-shot, where it either turns out to be quite okay or.....not. I often thing that one-shots are missing something and it can be pretty difficult to make them look like little masterpieces.

8555172
Thank you :scootangel: I was beginning to wonder if anyone would ever comment on this chapter with the story completed :twilightsheepish:

I’m always glad to hear people are finding the topic relatable. It was my biggest hope for the story. Also thrilled read the other aspects of the story you enjoyed. It really made my day to see such a thorough comment :yay:

I can agree with your points about things moving fast/being omitted. Partly it was the short nature of the fic not giving me time to move things slower, and largely it was my mediocre ability at writing short fics (not putting myself down, I’m just way more into writing novel-length stories). Some of it (like the whole ‘Fluttershy being super flirty’ thing) is also due to this being a birthday present, so I was catering to one person’s interests over writing what would objectively make for the strongest story. That certainly doesn’t make your points any less true, though.

Two comments. Two? Seriously?
A lot of the stuff I would've liked to say was said already - by Ceffyl, by others in previous chapters.
I can relate to some of Redhearts struggles and boy, do I like flirty Fluttershy. It's a nice change of pace, seeing her like that. And you managed to keep it in character. Bravo, for that. Yes, their relationship might've moved fast - but then again... did it, really? They didn't kiss, sleep in the same bed, or even more. As far as the written word is concerned, they just shared some moments of intimate closeness. Which is fine. Add to that that some couples just move fast(er), and all's fine and dandy.
I especially like how they didn't start orbiting around each other. They still have their own, independent lifes. And Fluttershy, while trying to be helpful, didn't just magically provide all the answers and solutions.
It's an uncommon ship and you made it sail with pride, grace and elegance. You have every right to be proud of this fine piece of art you crafted. Thank you for writing! :twilightsmile:

9052452
Thank you, it makes me so happy to see this story getting some attention :yay: And I’m delighted that you enjoyed it so much :pinkiehappy:

I do think the relationship could’ve probably moved a tad slower, but then again I was strongly opposed to writing more than three chapters due to focussing on other stories, so I still don’t regret anything here at all. And like you say, some relationships just move a little faster. While it’s not something I decided to bring up in the fic itself, I did have in mind that the two of them might be a little older in this fic (like in their thirties or so), old enough that not only are they well established in their careers, they’ve dated others before and are comfortable with the idea of flirting/being slightly intimate.

There’s a lot I’m still very proud of in this fic, and most of it comes down to the things you mentioned, which only makes me even happier to see your comment :scootangel: Thanks for reading and commenting :ajsmug:

I love Carousel's stuff! Seeing this rare pair bloom and the topic of anxiety be handled so healthily was very sweet too. Some soft drama sprinkled throughout this character piece was really good! I'm glad I managed to get around to this one.

9423562
Thank you so much! I’m extremely proud of this story and it always makes my day when people comment on it. The topic of anxiety is very near and dear to me, and I’m glad to have done it justice with this story :twilightsmile:

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