Ofolrodi

by Imploding Colon

Here We All Float

"Can't this damned thing go any faster?!?" Logan snarled, throwing tense glances at the line of pale beasts stampeding from Edgeside.

"Uhmmm..." Flynn fidgeted, seated next to Kepler at the front of the hovering wagon.

"Double-Yoo's coming in with Rainbow and Ariel! But those freakazoids are charging up fast right behind them!" Logan continued.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." Flynn continued to squirm.

"'Uhhhhhhh' what?!" Logan looked forward... then down. His pupils shrank. "Dude—what the buck?!?"

While scaling uphill, the chaotic field of the wagon had easily pushed two dozen feet between its own chassis and the earth's surface below. The vessel was ascending rapidly as it approached the edge of the crater looming Curveside.

"The chaotic emanations... appear to have an added effect on the wagon's verticality," Flynn muttered out the side of his muzzle.

"Well un-verticalize it!" Logan wheezed. "I don't wanna spontaneously drop and become a Dark Side pancake!"

"Betterr now orr neverr, brrotherr!" Kepler said.

"Right." Flynn gulped. His metal lense focused on the shimmering rune stones lacing the edges of the wagon. "Lemme just... try..." He took a deep breath, then growled: "'Y'hnyrr M'wynhrm!'"

Fl-Fl-Flassssh! The lunar dust rippled with etheral light. The strips of chaos metal vibrated, and—Thw-Thw-Thwoooosh!—the wagon twirled around three times before sliding into a reverse glide.

"Acch!" Kepler was jostled before Logan reached a protective hoof out to catch him.

"Grnnngh!" Flynn grunted as the vessel evened out. He found himself staring downhill as the wagon continued its reverse ascent. "Whelp, that's not it."

"Don't just spout random bullshit, dude!" Logan hollered.

"Of course I'm not!" Flynn frowned. He reached telekinetically across the wagon, levitated Kepler's notes, and squinted his good eye at the crescent-shaped moonwhinny text. "I'm just picking the right commands... aaaaaaaaaand... saying them in reverse!"

"Phonetically orr definitively?!" Kepler yelped.

"Please. I'm no idiot." Flynn placed the parchment down and cleared his throat. "I've got it now! 'H'lmynhr W'lyrmym!'"

FLASH!

The wagon pivoted, veering sideways. Kepler and Logan struggled to hold on as they careened up the hillside.

"Balllllllllllldyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy..." Logan snarled long and hard.

"Just hold on!" Flynn struggled for balance and concentration. "I've almost got it this time!"

Kepler's eyes squinted behind his lopsided spectacles. "Why is the rrunic light intensifying?!"

"It's the crater!" Flynn grunted. "We're headed straight for the source!"

"Then steer it away!" Logan hollered.

"No way!"

"Why not?!"

"With those things chasing after us, we could use all the juice we can get!" Flynn exclaimed. "This may just be the boost we need to clear the valley and rid ourselves of those creeps for good!"

"Dammit, Flynn!" Logan barked. "This is no time to play theoretical asshole physicist!"

"A morre perrtinent concerrn!" Kepler sounded off. "The Rrainbow One! How will she be able to join us with all of these emanations?"

Biting his lip, Logan threw a concerned look over his shoulder.

---

"Look..." Ariel breathed, panted. Flying as swiftly as she could Curveside, she looked back past Rainbow and Wildcard, observing with wide eyes as the sea of creatures bounded faster and faster after their airborne targets. "Cheese and crackers... how can those bastards move so fast?!"

"Fast-twitch muscle fibers?" Discord suggested, right as he vanished. "Zoop!"

Twilight Sparkle and Rarity materialized in his place.

"Rainbow, my senses are failing me directly ahead of us!" Twilight said.

"Huh?!" Rainbow—clinging to Wildcard in mid-flight—flung Twilight a nervous look. "But isn't that where the Herald and the wagon are?"

"Of course, darling!" Rarity exclaimed. "It simply means they're heading into the chaotic space!"

"And they're empowering the wagon by chaos, so..."

Rainbow gulped. "I can't join you guys."

Ariel performed a double-take. "What?!"

"The chaos metal... no doubt Flynn's attached a buttload of it to the wagon," Rainbow said, trying to speak above the banshee shrieks of the pursuing creatures. "If so, then I'll be a comatose dead weight the moment I step aboard!"

"Yeah, so?" Ariel managed a shrug. "We'll protect your comatose dead weight while we cruise on out of here—!"

"I'm way more useful to you guys flying at a distance!" Rainbow exclaimed. "I can keep an eye out for faster escape routes!"

"Rainbow!" Ariel replied, frowning. "The Herald's got more armor and firepower than you could ever possibly carry on your own! The wagon may be our only means of survival at this moment—!"

Wildcard suddenly whistled with a deafening shrillness. The other two mares watched as he pointed down below with his metal talon.

"Huh?" Rainbow Dash blinked.

Ariel paled. "No way..."

Against all expectations, the surging sea of stampeding beasts had actually outrun their aerial speed. Possessed by unnatural endurance, they clambored and climbed the outer edge of the crater with silken grace. They were seconds away from overtaking the awkwardly wobbling wagon.

"Crud!" Ariel grimaced. "They're dead meat!"

"Not for long!" Rainbow disentangled herself from Wildcard. "You two gotta go down there and help them fend the creeps off!"

Wildcard nodded.

"Dammit..." Ariel gritted her teeth. "Why can't Flynn make that thing go faster?"

"I've got an even better question," Rainbow Dash wheezed. She looked down at the stampeding masses. "Where the hay is Seraphimus?"

Fluttershy calmly pointed. "Why don't you ask her yourself?"

"Huh?" Rainbow turned around—gazing into a blood-stained beak. "Luna Poop!!!" she flinched in mid flight.

"... ... ..." Seraphimus glared past her with a steely gaze as her expert wings flapped. Her face and upper crestfeathers were covered all over in inky-black blood—none of it glowing. "... ... ...my blades have dulled."

Rainbow gulped. "Right. That's cool. Uhm..." She motioned down at the wagon with her head. "The carriage?"

"Indeed." Seraphimus tilted her neck left and right, crackling joints. "Jordan—!" Swisssssssh! She dove swiftly in a pale blur. "—form up!"

Wildcard wordlessly joined her.

"Dang it..." Ariel gnashed her teeth, glancing at Seraphimus, the wagon, and the encroaching sea of beasts. "Dang it dang it dang it—"

"They'll need your help, girl."

"Friggin'... I know!" Ariel dove in a blink, shouting past her tail. "Don't lose sight of us!"

"So long as you stay in one piece!" Rainbow hollered, maintaining her altitude. "... ... ...gosh, I hate warming the bench."

"Gyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh..." Pinkie shook all over, tail curling up.

Applejack looked anxiously at her. "What now?"

"Oh, nothin'." Pinkie gulped. "Things are just about to get kaizo, is all..."

Comments

[The 24th Pegasus]

I thought things were always kaizo. Isn't that the default state?

[Xarchels]

Wildcard wordlessly joined him.

So Seraphimus has been hiding us something ?

[Tim the Planes-pony]

8518188
More Kaizo, everything is relative.

[Merula]

Here We All Float

Damnit, Pennywise, we don't want you here!

[Revan]

Deadpan Murderbird is Best Murderbird.

[IceKitsune]

Flynns plan better work they are doomed otherwise

[AppleTank]

See, this is how you do wear and tear mechanics. Murder 500 psycho trolls, then you start losing damage output. Another 500 before you are downgraded to club style weapon on the verge of breaking.

[Phoenix Kitten]

8518193
That clam dna really gets around.

[Sir Mediocre]

8518188
Kaizo is a graduated cylinder. Rainbow is the mercury in it. Her adversaries are barometric pressure.

Discord is an exotic particle introduced to the miniscus at relativistic speed.

[Cynderfall]

This can only end badly!

[Hyped for what]

"Oh, nothin'." Pinkie gulped. "Things are just about to get kaizo, is all..."

And I thought they were already..

[arancaytar]

"... ... ..." Seraphimus glared past her with a steely gaze as her expert wings flapped. Her face and upper crestfeathers were covered all over in inky-black blood—none of it glowing. "... ... ...my blades have dulled."

Stop turning Dashie on, Sera.

[Rainman Noodles]

8518833
Found the nuclear physicist!

[mastermenthe]

8521449
found the nuclear criticist! :rainbowwild

/s

[Hazard]

Have you ever fought so hard you needed to reload your swords? Sera has.

[General Lemarc]

Fast-twitch muscle fibers?" Discord suggested, right as he vanished. "Zoop!"

[Nevlamas]

Good old Seraphimus - the swords broke before the guard did!

[Hap]

8521840
My lawn mower broke one time, but by the time I got a new one, the grass was too tall to mow. So I cut it down with a machete.

They get dull quicker than you'd think.

Also, having field dressed a lot of animals, and butchered them myself, skin and bone will dull a blade real quick.

[Tim the Planes-pony]

Against all expectations, the surging sea of stampeding beasts had actually outrun their aerial speed. Possessed by unnatural endurance, they clambored and climbed the outer edge of the crater with silken grace. They were seconds away from overtaking the awkwardly wobbling wagon.

More likely a bunch of them bypassed Rainbow's group during the fight and continued on to the source of their ire.
11/19/2017
17:07 UTC

[JustAnotherTimeLord]

Kaizo is, indeed, the default state on this side of the plane.

[BleedingRaindrops]

Oh hey, a kaizo. I think that's the first one this book.

[Cold Bolt]

"... ... ...my blades have dulled."

She used up all the durability of two Iron Swords in one chapter? Geez. It's a shame she's still only a green unit, or all that fighting would have been worth a good few levels at least.

[Prism Break]

Kaizo!

[Tim the Planes-pony]

"So long as you stay in one piece!" Rainbow hollered, maintaining her altitude. "... ... ...gosh, I hate warming the bench."

I can feel for Rainbow here, it goes against who she is and what she wants to protect.

11/15/2019
03:22 UTC

[hypervelocity]

"Oh, nothin'." Pinkie gulped. "Things are just about to get kaizo, is all..."

More kaizo? Oh greaaaat.