• Published 4th Jun 2017
  • 14,647 Views, 13,299 Comments

Ofolrodi - Imploding Colon



Rainbow Dash traverses the perils of the Dark Side of the world to reach the Midnight Armory.

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Of Liars and Cowards

Rainbow Dash made no more than four steps when—

Schiiiing!

Bard's staff stretched through the air, blocking her.

Rainbow calmly looked down the length of the metal and at the griffin who was holding it.

"She's not going to peck my eyes out," Rainbow droned. "Let me talk to her."

Wildcard's emotionless goggles reflected the mare's face doubly.

Rainbow furrowed her brow. "Stay nearby if you want. I need to face her."

Wildcard stared back. He exhaled slowly. Cl-Clakka! He retracted the staff, hobbled about on three-and-a-half limbs, then roosted on a rock overshadowing Seraphimus... and just a one-second-leap away.

Rainbow cleared her throat and continued trotting to the sled where Seraphimus lay.

"Rainbowwwwwww..." Twilight wrung her ghostly fetlocks with an anxious expression. "I sure hope you know what you're doinggggg."

"I never do," Rainbow said and plopped down on the ground.

"... ... ..." A pinned-and-restrained griffin glared daggers at her.

"Hi," Rainbow breathed. She placed the three leaves of bleakweed on the ground, pressed her hoof towards them, then shoved them until they were just below Seraphimus' beak. "Here. This is for you. Y'know... to eat and stuff."

"... ... ..."

"You do eat, right?" Rainbow muttered. "I can't imagine that you survived in Rohbredden solely on badassery and snow-huffing."

"... ... ..."

"That wasn't a request, y'know," Rainbow Dash said. "You are going to eat those leaves. You're going to eat them whole." She nibbled on her own leaf, staring at Seraphimus the whole time. Two bites later, she said, "There's no telling how much energy you've wasted thrashing around and shrieking your head off like a moron. You need sustenance to get better."

"... ... ..."

Rainbow nibbled and nibbled and—"Mrmmfff..." She leaned forward. "Don't try and make me hoof-feed it all into that sharp beaky-beak of yours. I'm not that stupid—"

"I would rather starve a thousand deaths then take your offering!" Seraphimus hissed.

Rainbow Dash leaned back, sighing. "Aaaaaaand there it is."

"Poison..." Seraphimus slurred.

"Huh?"

"You'd be trying to poison me anyways," Seraphimus said, more firmly. The obvious traces of exhaustion lingered on her charcoal brown eyes. "Will never... never take food from you..."

"Yo..." Rainbow cocked her blue head to the side. "If I wanted to poison you... don't you think I would have done so hours ago?" She blew out the side of her muzzle. "Tch... heck, I could have tossed you to the stars back in the Gondola. Ever wonder why I didn't bother doing that?"

"I know why."

"Oh yeah?"

"It's because you wish to give me a long and torturous death, Blighted One," Seraphimus spat. "And I shall not give you the pleasure."

Rainbow sat in silence for a bit.

"Egads!" Pinkie Pie looked at Applejack. "You think she really means that?"

Applejack gave her a double-take. "Are ya seriously askin' me?"

The rest of the mares were looking at Pinkie.

Applejack exhaled sharply. "She sure as hay believes it's true. There. Ya happy?"

Rainbow's eyes wandered to Seraphimus again. "I thin we got off on the wrong hoof." A crooked smile. "So how about starting over?"

"... ... ..."

"Cool." Rainbow finished her second leaf, gobbled the morsel down, then dusted her hooves off. "Mrmmmfff... mrhefllo..." She waved with a hoof. "My name... mrmmmff... is Rainbow Dash." A final swallow. "Born in Cloudsdale, raised in Equestria, killed in Aridstone—"

"I do not care for your putrid excuse for a biography, creature."

"Uh huh. Cool." Rainbow flicked her tail like a cat and blinked at the griffin. "So your name's Seraphimus, huh? Is that—like—a common name in Rohbredden?"

Charcoal brown eyes narrowed visciously. "It is my name and my name alone."

"Riiiiiiiiight... so... uh... were you born with it or did you earn it the moment you became the Right Talon of Verlaxion—?"

"What do the names of the foals of Verlaxion mean to a pathetic monster who's forever separated them from their Goddess Supreme?!"

"I didn't kill your Goddess—"

"Bite your tongue!!!" Seraphimus snarled, causing the sled beneath her to rattle. "You boasted about it before the Council of Verlaxion!"

Rarity and Fluttershy winced.

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, shut them, then rubbed her forehead. "Thattttttttttt was all for show—"

"You are a vicious and unrepentent murderer—"

"I wasn't given' much of a choice!" Rainbow Dash reopened her eyes, glaring. "Verlax—the Dragon Divine posing as your so-called 'Goddess'—had preordained her death for the very moment I arrived, and she released all of the wendigoes that she had been holding onto for centuries on her own volition!"

"Might wanna slow it down, sugarcube—" Applejack stammered.

"I became the monster you wanted to hate because it would give your stupid country solidarity!" Rainbow swung a hoof towards the nebulous twilight above. "If I didn't—those idiots in the Council would still be turning on each other! How would you hold off against a bunch of frozen banshee horses then?!"

"A great deal better than if a lying, selfish abomination like you hadn't murdered our Queen in cold blood!!!" Seraphimus' enraged voice echoed against the nearby rocks before dissipating into the shadows beyond.

Rainbow Dash fumed and fumed. She opened her muzzle to say something... lingered... then looked over her shoulder.

The rest of the Herald were all standing in a straight line, staring. Upon seeing Rainbow's angry glance, they all shuddered... spread apart... and trotted off to random destinations around the camp.

Wildcard glanced at them, then continued acting as faithful sentry over the scene. He adjusted the limbs beneath his muscular figure and kept his goggled gaze locked on Seraphimus.

Rainbow turned towards Seraphimus again. "Would... it give you... any sort of inner peace to know that I never wanted your Queen to die?"

"None whatsoever." Seraphimus stared icily at her. "I would wish—more than anything in this world—for you to die... horribly... painfully... and at the end of my claws, if possible."

The mares looked at Applejack.

Applejack looked back, rolled her eyes, then nodded.

"Yeah, well..." Rainbow sat up straight. "That's not happening. And as much as I'd like to throw you over the edge of the world so that you landed back home in Rohbredden, that can't happen either. Right now, I'm on a super crazy important mission... the same mission I was on before Verlax got stuck in my craw—"

"I wish you nothing but failure and disappointment, infidel."

"Yeah. Uh huh. And letting you go isn't really an option either. One—you'd be dead meat on your own. Two—I'd be dead meat with you out there plotting my untimely demise."

"Then you should kill me."

"That's not happening either—"

"If you had an ounce of bloody commitment, creature, then you would—"

"It's not friggin' happening, you Celestia-forsaken melon fudge, so you can just buck up and take life up your ungrateful tailpipe!" Rainbow snarled.

For once, Seraphimus was silence.

Wildcard glanced quietly between them.

At last, Seraphimus exhaled. "You're worse than I thought." A hiss. "You're a coward."

"No—a coward would have murdered you on both opportunities that I had to," Rainbow said, glaring back. "First at Starkiss... then at the World's End."

"Instead, you wait for time to do the dirty work for you." Seraphimus' headcrest straightened. "You are a coward."

"Yeah, well, keep saying that," Rainbow replied, turning her last leaf around. "We're on the Dark Side of the World. We're all going to need our little happy places."

"Dark Side... of the World...?" Seraphimus muttered with sudden confusion.

Rainbow glanced at her.

Seraphimus looked back, and her frown returned. "You lie."

Rainbow turned and turned the leaf around in her hooves. At last, she sported a nerdy grin. "How about a history lesson...?"

Twilight perked up.

Both Seraphimus and Wildcard cocked their heads with identical, avian motions. "Buh?" one of them exhaled.

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