It's the Big Show
"I've been a mercenary for a long, long time. It wasn't until a few years ago that I... got into it so deep. But before I was fully committed to the Herald, I did small jobs around western and central Rohbredden just to get by. I had my own code of honor that I fought by. I'd only take contracts from ponies who were upholding the general law of the land... and I only took a life if I was certain it would protect innocent civilians.
"The kind of jobs I'm talking about are the dirty kind. The scary kind. The type of jobs that keep you up late at night when you're young and you're wrestling with what kind of a pony you've allowed yourself to be. Lots of similarly frightened bastards have died at the end of my axe's blade—their biggest sin being that they landed on the other side of the coin than me. They chose to do jobs that leeched on society and poisoned the local populace with drug, greed, foalnapping, slavery, the works. Sure, if I could somehow peacefully talk them out of their self-dug crudholes, I would... but most of the time it ended up in a nasty, bloody scrap, and there was only one way to come out of that alive. Later—when I hooked up with the Job Squad—it was easier to afford 'nonviolent' solutions to the jobs I selected, but for a while there I had to make a living on living with my battered conscience.
"Did I think of quitting? Sure... but every time I slacked off, I'd hear of innocent pony and griffon families biting it because of a bandit raid that went south... or a drug deal that exploded into an all-out-fued. I used to wonder why you bastards in the Right Talon didn't fly around and do your job more... until I realized just how dayum hard it is to police anything in any numbers in a cruddy continent like Rohbredden. Besides, the prefectures I patrolled were sparsely populated, and the landscape made it easy for criminals to hide from the most scrutinous of eyes. Policing the region was something you had to be schooled in... on a daily basis... like I was. There were a few other badass souls like me, and we all exchanged notes... forming coalitions. Flynn was among them—which is how we met. Bard was a stand-up vigilante too, but... well... even you know how his story ended.
"We fellow mercenaries—we formed a damn strong bond. Out of this came the Job Squad, and a choice few of us caught wind of the Herald and we ultimately became part of something greater. But before Mortuana, the 'Job Squad' didn't expect much out of life than the job itself... and it damn well nearly killed each and every one of us. So—as you can imagine—we couldn't afford much in the way of friendship... and we could afford even less sane relationships outside our circle of crazy dedication. Love and romance were completely out of the question... but it doesn't mean we didn't try...
"One summer about seventeen years ago, I found that I didn't even have to try. Deep in Storm Prefecture, situated on a fertile plateau nestled in the mountains, I had won the favor of a rich stallion who owned an entire clan of rice farmers. His name was Bergen, and he had done pretty damn alright by himself. Living in the third generation of his family, he had his servants build him a mansion in the center of the plateau, and the serfs working under him cultivated the landscape for miles in every direction. Distanced from the lead senators and council ponies who pretended to represent the interests of Storm Prefecture, Bergen lived like a king out in the mountains—and everypony respected him as such. Myself too.
"And Bergen respected me. This was because I drove pirates and privateers away from the outskirts of his land. On a monthly basis, coastal raiders would skirt the southern coast of Rohbredden and send pillagers up through Thunder Pass—the central traiding route into Storm Prefecture. Week after week, these morons from the Seven Seas would rush in single-file and try attacking the merchant outposts. I made a living just busting the skulls of these dickheads, day in and day out. Sometimes it wouldn't even require a fight. I'd show up at the regular spot, brandishing my axe, and the cowards would go 'Oh shit, it's him!' and turn tail and run back to the coast. Flynn joined me in a lot of these engagements, and—I swear—sometimes it was pretty chill. We used to have drinking games on how long it would take for the would-be invaders to high-tail it out of there after the briefest of confrontations.
"Was the job very exciting? No, not really. But we were all that stood between Bergen's trading posts and these relentless bastards from the Seven Seas. Sometimes it got bloody... but only rarely. If nothing else, it was Bergen's generous payrate that kept the likes of us sticking around for so long. That's the summer that I feel that I began to slip... that I committed the first of many sins that I'd eventually feel shameful for. It's the same summer that I started to put on weight—if that's any friggin' indication.
"But... there was something I didn't feel shameful for at the time. Something that lit up my whole ugly world. You see, Bergen had a daughter—a mare my age named Sariah. Sariah was pretty, witty, and hella smart. So smart... that Bergen had the confidence in making her his chief manager of agricultural distribution. That meant she'd be making regular trips to the southern outposts. She was a headstrong pony—very good at barking orders... or just good at barking. Heh. The mare wasn't afraid of nothin'. She stumbled in on more than one run-in with the raiders, and she let hellfire rain on them. I suppose Sariah didn't take kindly to those coral-huffers trying to intimidate the southern farmers of her father's land. Once or twice, Flynn and I had to keep her from outright charging down Thunder Pass and biting onto the bastards' tails. Whew... every one in the outpost loved that girl. And me most of all. But I didn't let on. I couldn't. I was just a hired hoof, and she was the boss' daughter.
"Eventually, though, even that meant very little. Aside from the occasional run-in with headstrong bandits, things were pretty quiet in Storm Prefecture. You had the time to reflect on things... and to get to know ponies around you. And Sariah? She wanted to get to know me. I'm not just saying that to be big-headed or nothing. She found something about me fascinating, even though I tried to convince her I was no different from all the other bums running around with swords and axes. But she saw something in me that... to this day... I-I just can't quite put to words. Love's stupid like that, I suppose. And I sure as Hell wasn't going to make her feel bad for livening up my life. We'd spend hours and hours on patrol, just talking about the politics of the landscape and the future that Storm Prefecture had in store for itself. She had so many brilliant ideas... thoughts that could revolutionize the dysfunctional system that made Rohbredden tick... barely. And I believed every word she said... and it was worth it just hearing her lectures... if it only meant looking at the flicker of wisdom in her beautiful eyes... and smelling that rich perfume her family afforded. Every mercenary and farmer in Storm Prefecture smelled like shit... but not Sariah. She was cut from a different cloth, and yet she had no reservations about spending her every waking moment with the likes of us... protecting the southern lands around Thunder Pass... the one and only bastion keeping her family's land afloat.
"It's hard to pinpoint exactly when it happened—the moment that our friendship became something... well... moister. But nature is as nature does. Late night patrols ended with even later night caps. She found out that I was a horrible lover. I discovered that she was a horrible liar. In the morning we'd laugh, and the following night we'd stumble over each other again. And that was us... and we were happy being... us. Neither thought of the ramifications of the head farmer's daughter and a ragtag mercenary getting their groove on, but neither of us cared. And it wasn't much of a secret. Flynn knew. A lot of the local tradesponies knew. But I think everypony figured that we were all thrown into this little absurd pocket of Storm Prefecture, surrounded by madness and ambivalence, and here we had ourselves a little haven... a little touch of life that put a spring to our step and made the rest of the day worth living. And—boy—did we live.
"It didn't stop us from doing our jobs. The weeks rolled into months, and the raiders grew more and more sparse. My only fear was that Bergen would no longer have a need for me, and then I'd no longer have an excuse to stick around. After all, there was trouble to dealt with in the other bordering prefectures of Rohbredden, and the Job Squad was needed for branching out. For the first time in my grungy 'career,' I seriously contemplated hanging up the axe for good. After all, if I could settle down with a mare like Sariah officially... take up a life of boring rice farming... then maybe—just maybe—I could live a bit longer. It was only a tempting thought, though. A dream at that. But the following winter... the dream came really damn close to a reality.
"Sariah showed up one week, and she was no longer her usual talkative, witty self. Something was gnawing at her, and something in the way her ears twitched told me she was both enthused and afraid at the same time. It didn't take me long to coax the truth out of her. The mare was pregnant... and it sure as Hell wasn't baldy's baby. Me? I was overjoyed. But Sariah? I could already tell that she had... changed somehow. I mean, she still cared about me—that much was for sure. But her mood was completely different. I suppose that sort of thing can be expected when you're pregnant, but with Sariah, it... well... it was a whole 'nother thing altogether. Her personality completely changed. And as the months went by and I started to bother her over how the Hell we were going to keep the whole thing secret, she'd suddenly lash out. She'd throw things at me and call me names I didn't recognize and blame me for stuff that I never once did in my entire life. I started to worry... and I'd soon find out that I wasn't worried enough.
"Turns out that there's a history of... mental issues in Bergen's family. I'm not even remotely trying to be facetious. Part of why Bergen worked so hard to get on top and build himself a sweet-ass mansion atop his farm plantation is that he needed it to double as a sanitarium. A lot of his close relations were practically locked up in there, and—from what I later discovered—he would sequester himself there for a spell too, on occasion. I wish I could explain it... but something hereditary was always gnawing at Bergen's bloodline. Shit sucked... but there wasn't much he could do, and if he appealed to any of the state-sponsored hospitals, then it would make his family ailment public... which could possibly threaten his standing and ruin business for all of the families living off his land. Bergen was such a staunch businesstallion that he wouldn't ever let that happen, even if it meant the best for his family. So... they weathered the storm... and prayed to the Frosted Halls of Verlaxion that nothing spontaneous or random would trigger another psychotic episode in their close relations...
"Something... like an unexpected pregnancy. As the months went by, Sariah's actions grew more and more erratic. She'd show up to the southern outposts with half her mane cut off. She'd say that she was trying to 'blend in' with the local populace in order to ambush the raiders, and she would refuse to drink anything but the water that she brought with her because 'everything was poisoned.' At night, she'd run out into the middle of the valley and chase shadows, cussing up a storm. Suddenly I began to understand why she was so feisty with the raiders to begin with. There was this manic side to her that lampshaded a deeper, madder state. Seeing it in full bloom was... frightening as Hell. I tried to protect her... tried to talk her out of her spells. All my life, I found being a mercenary to be a feasible job... but it's next to impossible to protect a mad pony from herself. Things were going downhill a mile-a-minute, and I felt that it was all my fault. Maybe it was the hormonal changes in being with-foal that affected her... or maybe she was actually, legitimately sick of me... sick of everything. In a place like remote Rohbredden, it's hard not to go mad. Maybe I'm the crazy one for not drooling by now. In any case, she was rapidly falling apart. I had to do something about it.
"And so, I did. I dragged her all the way to Bergen's manor and just... let it all out. I confessed it all. The romancing... the late night fraternizing. The intimacy that led to the grandfoal that Bergen didn't know he was going to have. I expected the worst, but I didn't care. The truth needed to be heard—if not for Sariah's sake... then for the sake of the life growing deep inside of her.
"And... I got the worst. The worst for me, at least. Bergen felt betrayed. Hell, he was betrayed. He nearly went mad himself in tearing me and my name down a few hundred notches. The only thing keeping him from chopping off my head then and there was the fact that I had protected his and his family's interests for so long. He banished me from the plateau... from the outposts... from all of Storm Prefecture as a whole. I was never allowed to see his daughter again... not that it mattered. At that point in time, every moment she saw me, she'd call me names and blame me for a million horrible things: setting fire to fields of rice, murdering foals, rape... you name it. I was suddenly a demon in her eyes, and I saw nothing of the old wisdom and mirth that once attracted me to the mare. But... it didn't change the fact that I loved her. In some pathetic, sad, wilted way... I adored her... even in her deteriorated state.
"And yet, I left. I had to. A part of me felt... hoped that removing myself from her life might perhaps restore her to sanity. Most stallions in my field of work—I suppose—would just live and let be. Goddess knows how many bastards are out there... making other little bastards and not thinking twice about it. But me? Damned if I didn't have something resembling a conscience, and it gnawed at me. Even Flynn tried to talk me out of it... tried to get me to look at the long, winding road ahead. But I couldn't. My thoughts lingered daily on Sariah... and even worst... on the daughter I would never know. There was a tearing knot in my gut that the foal would never even be born... that the whole tragedy would roll up into a bloody ball and just claim them both. Because why not?
"And then I had a tiny glimpse of heaven. About a year later, someone from inside Storm Prefecture contacted me. You see, despite how things went down between me and Bergen, most ponies weren't mad. They knew the truth. They had seen the things I had done to protect their hides from bandits and raiders. What's more... they had seen me and Sariah together. They had seen the love that we had... that we very genuinely had... if even for a short time. And one of these ponies sent me a message—stating that Sariah had successfully foaled. And that it was a filly... a filly named 'Luram.' What's more, they were able to smuggle me into the farmstead where Luram had been sent. Turns out, Bergen wanted the foal raised outside the main manor. There was no telling how long Sariah was going to have to wrestle with her demons, and Bergen didn't want Luram to grow up with the memories of a crazed mother.
"So... I was able to pay short, tiny, illicit visits into Storm Prefecture. Each time, I had to assume a different identity... not just to throw off Bergen's guards... but also to maintain the sanctuary that had been established for the little filly. But... but I got to see her. I got to see her pretty little mane... her bright little eyes... and... and hear her voice... calling out for everyone but me.
"I visited Luram for five years straight... just showing up randomly... pretending to be the friend of a friend... a local tradespony... a random traveler. I did it until I could do it no longer... or else risk being committed to her permanent memory. I never told her my name... never told her that I was partly responsible for bringing her into this world. I visited just enough times to see that she was alive... and that she was healthy... that she was happy...
"And, at last, I visited her no more. Thoughts had occurred to me. Crazy thoughts... crazy thoughts of outright smuggling her out and taking her far far away... safe from that remote asylum surrounded by rice and mountains. I could have started a new life with just the two of us. But... I wasn't Sariah. I knew that Bergen would hunt her down—even to the ends of Kihutaja, if he had to. The life of a fugitive isn't exactly conducive to good health, and I couldn't do that to little Luram. I had already poisoned the family well by bumping into her mother. Besides, my visits had shown that she was happy. The ponies of Storm Prefecture were good folk... and she would have gotten a lot more from them than she ever could from her grandfather. The best thing I could ever do was... let her go... just like I had to let Sariah go...
"And so... I did."
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...Oh.
For the record, I'd like to say that that's a really beautiful name.
It's a shame things went the way they did for Big Show. It really is...
Ouch.
Well damn, that wasn't exactly what I was expecting. Good on Logan visiting her at least really sucks he couldn't be there permanently.
.....
Well...crap on a stick... Big Show, much love to ya
Poor Logan…
Also, name change approved. Luram is a very pretty name.
Sidestory?
Poor guy... Poor girl... Poor filly...
I feel bad for everyone involved, even Bergen
Damn.
Logan tries real hard to hide behind that boisterous bruiser image, and it seems like he had successfully managed to put his daughter out of his mind, or at least made some semblance of peace with the situation.
..darn, now I can't help but think, what would Luram think if she found out about her father?
Hell, is there somepony around pretending to be her father, or do the workers all respect Logan enough to not do that?
Still... I mean it sucks, Logan did the right thing by telling the old man.
-Through the path long forgotten, into the darkness long begotten. Ofolrodi.
There are no background characters. Everybody is a main character, everybody you meet in life. You just have to take the time to get to know their backstories.
8376478
It's always been one of my favorite names, ever since childhood.
I can definitely see why he wouldn't want to talk about that. I can only imagine the pain of thinking your daughter would be raised by a mare driven insane, or thinking that the foal would grow up to be just like her mother. At least she was raised elsewhere, rather than the shadow of a madmare.
It's a horrible day for rain...
First thing I see upon opening a new chapter of Austraeoh is a full fledged continuity edit to the story?
HERESY.
But seriously? Not many can pull off 3k words of exposition via flowing dialogue. I must say, that is a tremendous feat. Plus, with added depth to an otherwise nebulbous character...
Today is a good day.
I updated the wiki too quickly yesterday, and now it has become my ruination!
Good that he's talking about it. It's pretty much inevitable that Changelings will take those forms again, and keeping this fresh and open hopefully means a calmer head in those instances. Still, he'll talk to Seraphimus about this stuff, but not the rest of his friends? I guess it's sort of like confessing to a wall. Its not like Seraphimus is going to be inclined to tell anyone else. And man, a whole family with that kind of genetic crazy? How do you even keep something like that secret for so long? And the worst part? Logan's got to be entirely too aware of the fact that the gene would've passed on to his daughter. That blows. It blows hard.
Wait, he just dropped his backstory? Crap, that means he's getting closer to being axed off! Quick, give him a new character arc! Him and Seraphimus can start a hateship with each other! Start making out immediately, for the sake of both your lives!
8376684
I am 100% on board for this ship, but what would we even call it? Seragan is my best guess. Lophimus just doesn't roll off the tongue as nicely.
Life is miraculous and cruel.
Circumstance is only cruel.
He's actually responsible for it. Dang. That would explain the inability to deal with the guilt.
Well, damn.
I feel crazy, too.
I thought Logan was just a tank. But now that he has reasons I just don't know what to think of him anymore...
He's troubled and has a crappy past that makes him relatable.
Big Show has a big heart. Wasn't ready for that.
8376700
I totally approve of Seragan. It sounds like the kind of ship name that is filled entirely with arguing and angry make-up sex.
8376700
I'm still holding out for Serabow.
Or, rainiel, if sera's taken with Logan.
Oh gods the feels why?!
8376776
>inb4 that's actually what it will be like later on in the story
And what could Seraphimus every possibly understand more than this, the charge of parenthood, the pain of loss? Logan has not just made himself human/equine for her - he's made himself closely and intimately responsible. Why would he open up to Seraphimus and none of the others? Because none of the others resemble him anywhere near as much as her.
See there, angel of vengeance. All have their losses to carry.
Big Show, big love.
Life is like a Circus.
Someones always yelling at you to do things right.
You have to work with these clowns.
Then you have to clean out the elephants.
Wow, the end of that had to suck all around.
Turns out that it was not the drastic disaster I expected, but still a sad story. Logan made the right decision though. Every other option would have led to an escalation.
And I fully expect Seraphimus to give a mocking reply in the next chapter.
Geeze
8376776
This is exactly what I was thinking.
And now we enter into a realm where we wonder what Seraphimus's reaction to all of this is going to be. I pray that it's a favorable one.
Hot dang Logan..
Something something Weathergate .
Also, this story is hella depressing.
A wild Author's Note appears!
Dang, heavy stuff Big Show.
*Whines.* Sad backstory is too sad...
Och. Right in the feels.
Well, hell.
When you love something so much, so very much, sometimes the best thing to do in order for it to work is to . . . let it go, if the circumstances are right. Letting go is a very difficult part of love, but if your love returns . . . then it is meant to be.
This is a nice break from the bleariness that is Darkreach.
...And it's a huge exposition dump. Dammit.
Well.......dayum.
I could swear, I've heard of this condition before.
Anybody got any ideas on what it is?
Ping me if you do.
Perhaps one day, you may be able to see her again Logan, one can hope.
11/14/2019
00:52 UTC
Damn... now this is quite a backstory.
...muh feels.
Not exactly what I was expecting, but wow. Turns out, Logan is a top-notch guy.
Damn. Quite an expo dump of a back story, but the fact that he's confiding in Seraph makes it pretty cool— the two of them are definitely going to bond over lost partners and children. I could even see Seraph jumping to save Logan in battle if they ever release her. Maybe even vice-versa.
I can't not, though:
That's my pharmacy— I get my drugs from Bergen.
She ever get lost in the woods playing a potato flute?
Poor Logan...
Forced to abandon the mare he loves due to something no one can control. Forced to abandon the daughter he clearly loves and wishes he could be in her life.
There was no winning move here, so....you might as well not play.