• Published 4th Jun 2017
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Ofolrodi - Imploding Colon



Rainbow Dash traverses the perils of the Dark Side of the world to reach the Midnight Armory.

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Lecture For a Lecture

"So... in summary..." Twilight Sparkle adjusted non-existent bifocals and then slapped her ghostly forelimb as she floated right in front of Rainbow Dash. "...with full consideration of the sinful wages of hubris and the painfully-weighted inclination of naturally-occurring irony, you must never... ever end a conversation with 'what's the worst that could happen?'"

Rainbow Dash sat on the edge of a rock, her blue chin smooshed down against a lazy forelimb. The rest of the Mane Five hovered limply around her with identically lethargic expressions. "Mrmmfmfff... thanks, egghead." She stifled a yawn, staring dully at Twilight. "Could you have just saved us the forty-five minute lecture and told us that conclusion at the very beginning?"

Twilight tilted her proud chin towards the starry heavens. "Just wanted to make sure I nailed the message home."

"You nailed it alright, sugarcube." Applejack yawned. "Right to a cross."

"Oooh! I love carpentry jokes!" Pinkie Pie beamed.

"... ... ..." Applejack blinked. "Anyways..." She gazed at Flynn and Kepler who were kneeling before the partially-assembled pieces of a metal sphere. "Seems like they're makin' progress."

"Indeed." Rarity looked over at Wildcard, situated before a thrashing and bound Seraphimus. "Good to know that some of us are."

"I can't believe that she's still struggling so much," Fluttershy remarked. "Even after all this time."

"Well, she did lose just about everythang thanks to Verlax," Applejack said. "And she's been made to believe that Rainbow's to blame."

"Would you be even remotely forgiving if you had every reason to believe that something or someone had devoured the entire Apple Family?" Rarity asked.

Applejack tilted her hat back. "Rarity, Granny's dead. And if thangs had gone differently two years ago, I reckon she wouldn't be."

Rarity winced. She hung her head. "A thousand pardons, Applejack..."

"Naw... dun feel so bad, sugarcube." Applejack bore a gentle smile. "My point is... I know what led to such a tragedy." She looked warmly at Rainbow Dash. "And I have the capacity to understand it all. If thangs were a tad bit different...?" She shrugged. "I dunno what I'd do. But I reckon I'm just a far more reasonable mare than this wretched Seraphimus varmint."

Rainbow Dash took a deep breath. "I don't think any of us can even pretend to relate to Seraphimus." She looked melancholically across the way to where Wildcard was guarding his former companion. "Her life—her entire existence was sculpted by Verlax to be a self-destructing weapon to urge me onward in my quest."

"And now you've brought her with us to urge you onward even faster," Twilight Sparkle said.

Rainbow slowly turned to glare at Twilight.

Twilight raised her forelimbs. "I'm just saying..." She sighed, lowering her hooves. "Verlax is long dead. You should stop punishing yourself, Rainbow."

"Sparing her life was not punishing myself, Twilight."

"But how much are you willing to sacrifice to try and save her?" Twilight asked. "Given all that's already at stake?"

"I've got an even better question." Rainbow gnashed her teeth. "What does it friggin' matter?"

Twilight opened her muzzle... but hesitated before she could give a reply.

"Rainbow Dash..." Fluttershy quietly spoke. "We're all on your side—"

"Are you?!" Rainbow frowned. "Because from what it looks like and how it sounds, it almost seems as if I'm the only friggin' sane pony alive anymore."

"Don't be overdramatic, darling—" Rarity started, but couldn't finish.

"No... no!" Rainbow growled. "I have enough trouble as it is trying to keep the Herald from going all murder-y without you girls wanting to jump on the death train!"

"What are you goin' on about, sugarcube?"

"I want you girls to promise me something..." Rainbow shuddered, clasping her hooves together as if in prayer. "I need you girls to promise me something."

"Anything, Rainbow Dash," Fluttershy said.

Rainbow's gaze hardened. "Promise that you're on board with me on this." She looked at each and every one of them. "Promise that I'm not the only pony here who still believes in Harmony... that when push comes to shove you will support me in trying to get Seraphimus back on track to having a decent, self-respecting life... any kind of life... because it's frickin' life."

"Of course we're with you on this, Rainbow," Twilight said.

Rainbow sighed. She leaned over and rubbed her forehead. "'But...'"

"I just..." Twilight sighed, folding her forelimbs. "I want to make sure that you're doing this to Seraphimus for Seraphimus... and not out of some guilt-ridden complex to rectify perceived mistakes of the past."

"Yeah?" Rainbow muttered. "Like what mistakes?"

"Well..." Twilight fidgeted, squirmed, and meekly said: "Like Shell."

Rainbow let loose a heavy sigh. "Twilight..." She looked up with a frown. "...for the last time, I'm not—"

A swath of leather wings streaked in Rainbow's peripheral vision.

"...?!?" Rainbow spun about, eyes wide.

Fluttershy shot up with a worried expression. "Rainbow? What is it?"

"Did..." Rainbow turned and glanced all around. "Did you just..."

"What, darlin'?" Applejack blinked.

"Is everything okay, Dashie?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Thought... could have sworn..." Rainbow shuddered.

"My stars! You're so pale!" Rarity exclaimed.

Rainbow jolted. She stared at her. "... ... ...Cloudsdale... falls without me."

Twilight's muzzle scrunched. "Huh?"

"Heeheehee... what are you going on about, silly?" Pinkie burped.

"I..." Rainbow leaned over and rubbed her head. "I don't know..."

"Well, I do know something!" Pinkie stuck her tongue out, floating closer. "You could really use some shut-eye!"

"I whole-heartedly agree!" Rarity nodded briskly. "This seems as good a time as ever to set camp and—"

"We got it!" Flynn exclaimed.

"Eurreaka!" Kepler added.

The ghostly group looked over to see the metal sphere—conjoined and sparkling—lift up and levitate in place. A dull red glow emanated from the contraption's seams, like crimson vapors. Then, with a pronounced humming sound, the Cylindrimanian artifact zipped its way around the rocks and geological formations with smooth speed.

"It's going!" Ariel exclaimed. "Whew! Look at it!" She waved at Rainbow Dash. "What's the word?"

"Rainbow..." Twilight leaned in. "You really really should lie down and rest—"

"Hop to it, Herald!" Rainbow hollered. With a flap of her wings, she glided effortlessly forward. "Don't let it out of your sights!"

Wildcard whistled and swiftly reattached himself to Seraphimus' sled.

Logan hitched himself to the supply wagon and galloped briskly after the device while the rest of the group followed suit.

Twilight sighed, limply keeping up with their anchor. "Rainbow..."

"Twilight... if you know anything about me... anything at all..." Rainbow tiredly blinked in spite of herself. She locked her eyes on the red-glowing sphere as it illuminated a cone of dead rock in a diagonal swath. "...it's that stopping is the one and only death knell."

"Well, for all our sake, here's hoping that you're correct."

"Jee. Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"Anytime."

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