- Member Since 19th Dec, 2012
- offline last seen Last Thursday
Abramus5250
Learn to love the writing, of telling a story that you want told, and not the recognition that comes with it. When skill and passion atrophy, write for yourself, and in time, you'll inspire others.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Interesting fic. Magic is like a radiation, increasing ones lifespan but curtailing ones fertility as a balancing act. Makes sense. Also very raunchy.
interesting to say the least I've never seen a story take a path like this one
but I liked none the less
Stellar story. Fascinating premise and solid worldbuilding. I was sincerely sad there wasn't more to it, I'd really love to see more of these high-magic nobles seeking out Spike for a child rather than a quick summary of them at the end. :coughraritycough:
Regardless, very nicely done.
--CG
A Spartan story? Well, that explains the need for a human tag. But it looks like the slavery and breeding stud thing is going to be a problem for some readers. Oh well, can't please them all.
Like the story, will continue to read. Later!
7747617 How in the fuck does radiation increase one's lifespan?!?
7747782 no idea, one would think that it makes zero sense :3
I'm having a hard time picturing Moondancer as Captain of the Royal Guard.
7747782
The Magic acts like radiation, but not the kind we know of. Magic is energy but in this setting the cost of using and practising, even being in proximity to it seems to decrease fertility as much as it increases your life span in this particular setting.
7747782 it's the magic, not the radiation that's increasing the lifespan... kinda like how most light bulbs get very hot, but we only use them for the light they send out with it
Well, it looks like Celestia ought to be very thankful for Almarety's gift.
That was different, but in a good way. Good job!
7747887 That's because it doesn't.
7747915 You're trying to explain how magic works in this fanfic. That is not my point. I was just flabbergasted at how... utterly... ridiculous that comparison was. No offense.
You say that magic is like [ionizing] radiation because it causes sterility (I can kind of accept this comparison) and it increases lifespan (what?!) as a balancing measure (what!?!).
Also, just because exposure to magic causes potential sterility, that's not enough to compare it to [ionizing] radiation. If it were, I could just as well compare it with polycystic ovaries, orchitis, gonadic dystopia, etc. But I digress...
7747917 Heat is non-ionizing. That is not what I meant.
Also, see above.
7748239
What I am suggesting is that in this particular case the magic acts in a similar fashion to radiation. The fact that Tia and Luna have lived for apparently centuries is evidence of how powerful they are as magic users, but also how infertile they must be. A species that lives for a long time has a very small amount of time in which to produce viable offspring, or they would risk overpopulation.
Anyway, still a good story.
7748239 are you really trying to use real life particle radiation to analyse the literal magic in a fictional story based on a children's cartoon show?
and for the record, I was just trying to use simplistic language to say that the radiation that decreases fertility is the hazardous SIDE EFFECT of the magic that increases lifespans, NOT what increases the lifespans, itself
7748264 And that is exactly My Little Point: in order for [ionizing] radiation to be similar to how magic is described to function in this fanfic, it ([ionizing] radiation) has to extend one's lifespan.
[Ionizing] Radiation doesn't extend anyone's lifespan [through direct bombardment].
7748320 No, I am not. And I made that point perfectly clear.
Would you mind if I used your idea that Magic causes fertility problems in a story I plan to write?
7748450
Its an idea not a character, ideas have spread around this site so much over the years its crazy, if everyone asked this site wouldnt be where it is today. Just go for it.
7748856
I don't know what you mean when you say that. I didn't say it was a character.
I know what you're saying about that, though. I just had to impulse to ask, for some reason.
It would be awesome to see the heir to the throne in a other story
"never got right to the point unless they were some country bumpkin" Pert much ended it fur me...
7748450 Seether00 has 'Lullabies Unsung' about such an issue, Wish he'd finish it, but if written well I'll surely read it
Hot-fucking-damn, I love world building, I love unexplained backstories, It's like a promise of explanations to come.
I love this story, a realistic representation of actual equestrian diplomacy and the female-to-male ratio problem being represented as a birth-rate problem, something that is actually a threat to civilizations all over the world.
u cheeky bastard, take a like and fav
That was definitely an interesting way to describe how the low birth rates came to be. Good job.
Great read altogether as well! Have a like and a favorite. Well-deserved
I really love it!
Please I hope there will be a spinoff or a sequel for this story!
you need an 'is after it
So far this first chapter is rather good, im intrigued.
motion
'I have been told they make me'
i... this rolls of the tongue oddly. I dont think theres anything wrong with it.
This needs I think an 'an' after with. Also the whole 'equally casual' bit seems a bit add when there was nothing prior that was mentioned as being casual.
need an 'of' after plenty
Damn that was a hot chapter.
'of'
Nice ending
I love world and character building~ Eee~
Also, this is just really good otherwise, has a real definite atmosphere to the world.
7748450 Sure, go right ahead!
Seeing as how this is Equestria, shouldn't it be "mares and stallions" (or "stallions and mares", depending on which way you want to go with that)?
...This story isn't tagged anthro (at least not as of this post), yet you're speaking as if Celestia had a human figure.
Is this anthro-equestria?
7757136 The tags mention it as human, so no, this is not anthro.
This isn't even anthro. It's just a human story with MLP names. Downvoted.
Despite this being a Human-only story, which was the reason for my Downvote, this was fairly well-written. I found it not to be sexy at all and more endearing due to the direct nature of which the subject was addressed. I liked it, but this is a site for Pony stories and not exclusively Human stories. Even so, you are a skilled writer. Keep writing and I believe you can find great success in being a published author.
7833807 Gotta agree this was extremely endearing. Before he first laid with Moondancer I was quite certain I would follow through with or without the porn.
On the humanity thing, I got to agree that it made the story be only tangentially related to MLP, for not only was spike quite different in his past, they all being (somewhat) human made it become too far from ponies. Some mention to the Pegasus equivalent might have alleviated that, but hard to know.
Still, excellent story, would read more in this universe. Spike Dad would be best spike
yo know this is a rarity for me (no pun intended) this story is absolutely great, and an artistic work of clop but somehow i just couldnt bring myself to clop to this. the story almost too good to look away from. bravo my friend, bravo
Take my upvote and fave. This is phenomenal.
7833807
Not really more about the theme of Mlp:FiM than ponies it self
Oh.................…….… kinky