• Member Since 3rd Mar, 2015
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

XenoPony


Hi, name's XenoPony. I'm an avid pony writer and fan fiction author with a wide range of stories.

Sequels1

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After dating Twilight Sparkle for a few months; Rainbow Dash could have never guessed that the benevolent princess of friendship, almighty element of magic and multiple times savior of Equestria... Has no idea how to take care of her own wings.

Featured: 7/24/16
Audio reading by ScarlettBlade.
Edited by: Infinite Affection

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 45 )

UGH, MORE TwiDash?! Why is there hardly any RainbowPie?!:facehoof::flutterrage::ajbemused::pinkiegasp::rainbowhuh::raritydespair:

Another great piece from you Draconic!:pinkiesmile: ...Huh, looks like I might actually be the first to post a positive comment about this story.:rainbowhuh:

7420964

Then why would you click on a piece about TwiDash?:unsuresweetie:

7421037 One does have to wonder...:facehoof:

Ooh! And congrats on the feature!

Gonna read this, so wait for my comment!

Preening is best pony foreplay.

In all seriousness, very cute one-shot and great work with both characters. I would suggest, given both how short this is and that it is your first feature, that you maybe go back and edit the few grammatical/spelling errors in the fic, but other than that great job and welcome to the Fimfic Featured Authors Club! :twilightsmile:

7421483 Thanks, although this is not my first feature exactly. My last story made it into the feature box, and one other I did awhile ago did too. I appreciate the feedback though.:twilightsmile:

7421503
Oh my apologies, I think I must've mistaken the nature of your blog post. But you're most welcome!

7421037 hey it was in the feed as part of a group, so I didn't know what it was about!

How, HOW IN LESS THAN SIX HOURS, DOES MY COMMENT HAVE THIRTEEN DISLIKES?
And, the cover page doesn't have any cutie marks on the ponies. What's up with that?

7421810 (In sarcastic tone) Gee, lemme think about that...

7422115 SHUT THE BUCK UP I HAVE MY OWN OPINIONS!!!:flutterrage:

7422254 hey good news its up to 17 now also twi dash is the best mane six pairing

This was really cute :rainbowkiss:!

Well, cute little story, can do with some more commas and ...

"What's' right? Look at me, I'm a total mess,"

-> What's wrong?

"It's the wings I... I never learned how to preen them properly," she confused shamefully.

-> confessed

her voice fading as and her head drooped.

-> either "her voice fading as her head drooped" or "her voice faded and her head drooped"

you're the princess of worrying after all.

Hehe!

she asked out of curiously.

-> out of curiosity.

as she muzzled Twilight back

-> nuzzled

even though she had nagging idea as to what the answer was.

-> even though she had a nagging idea

I think it can wait. Your wings certainly have for long enough

-> "Your wings certainly have waited long enough" - though that might be personal preference

7423214 Thanks for the feedback. There's always some stuff that slips through editing:twilightsheepish:.
I'll make sure to implement the corrections though.

7423266
Well, for commas you would need another - I am struggling a bit with my mother-language-comma-rules, and with english ones even more. But good luck and keep on writing.

Will you be makeing more twidash stories in the future? I liked this one a lot! Keep up that good story writing! :pinkiehappy:

7423359 Might consider doing some more, they're one of my favourite ships too. Although, I do want to try and do some stories with some other ships I've not done in the future as well.

7423413 Please do one with Sparity that one is great. I read your story, I love how the story moves along, but the ship is the only problem to me. Sorry for all the bad feedback.

7423546 To be fair, I don't really mind all that much. Everyone's entitled to their own opinion. Might consider Sparity, although I've always preferred to ship Spike with Rarity's sister instead. Nevertheless, there's a first time for everything.

7423572 Alright. I'm much more relieved now. I hope to read more of your work.

Short, but sweet, really sweet. :twilightsmile:

I'm all for short fluff-fics, but this seemed far too short. It ended just as I felt myself becoming invested in it. Just another thousand words and I think it could have been something really great for a little short fluff. The length also means it doesn't really stand out. It's hardly an idea that hasn't been explored on this site before, in much more detail, and usually with this very pairing.

BUT, that said, if you don't care about standing out, and you like keeping it as just a quick glimpse at the couple's lives, then I think it was pretty well done. The imagery was good, the grammar and spelling were good, it had a nice pace (until it ended kind of abruptly); just a plain nice addition to the TwiDash catalog.

7421810
Because you made a comment on a writer's story purely to complain about the characters used, implied that the author made an incorrect choice by even writing it and offered no reference at all to the story while you did it.

If you liked it, say so, if you didn't then say why. But if you just came to whinge about the lack of Rainbow/Pinkie shipping then you can fix that by writing your own story with those characters and not reading ones that ship other characters.
---
Very sweet story, even if I don't usually go in for the one-shots, and it was a little short.

7429155 Okay I get it, I'm not allowed to have my own opinion. And I apologized, right?! So you, sir, can get out of my business and think about what I said AFTER all the bad feedback. And do stop making me feel bad.

7420964 Comments like this make me want to make more accounts to dislike a single comment. Same with certain stories.

Wow now! we got some tension in the comments! haha anyway, I liked the story It was a good short read. :)

7488090 i know right. All the fire for a comment. It is kinda funny though.:derpytongue2:

7424382 It's at forty ! What the actual fuck? XD :rainbowlaugh:

"Wait, why?" the purple unicorn asked

Even though she's now an Alicorn, Twilight still can't escape the Lavender Unicorn Syndrome. :twilightblush:

Ever thought of making a clop of Preening Your Princess? I think you would make a good one.

7661896 Well the sequel was kinda half way there, maybe if there's a third instalment in this story line it will be a clop. Either way, if there was a couple I would write in that way, it would be these two.:twilightsmile::rainbowdetermined2:

7661896 Yeah, sexy follow up is needed!

7420964 God forbid the writer dosen't write what you want.

Just a little bit short but I still liked it, Rainbow was especially good here.
Good job. :twilightsmile:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

No actual preening took place in story, 5 yards penalty. :| Kidding aside, I got a serious "That's it?" moment at the end.

7420964
I like both, but I feel this. c.c

Good story, but am disappointed that there wasn't more, or the actual preening in the story also.

Finished reading this just now. I realize it has been out for awhile now and has a couple of sequels which I guess I'll get around to reading. But, before I do, this story.

So, like others, I felt this was too short. It ended abruptly, without any real sense of "payoff." Unlike the others, I'm not here to complain about the "lack of preening." I imagine what most of them wanted to read was some overly detailed scene of Rainbow Dash moving feathers back into place, Twilight slowly building in arousal from someone playing with her dick wing, and then probably moving on to more traditional coitus.

In other words, a clopfic even if it remains [T]-rated due to lack of actual sex content.

What I felt unsatisfied by was that you set up what is a nice moment of the two growing closer as a couple. I would have liked to see more of that. How the two open up a bit towards each other because of this. Having an embarrassing thing like "I don't know how to perform proper hygiene on my wings" discovered, and seeing a more tender, motherly side of Dash instead of her usual bravado and cool, is a great start.

Keep going with that momentum you've built, and show some more. Not specifically a continuation or escalation of their preening, but have them talk it over. Let us see Twilight's gratefulness. Maybe talk about this side of Rainbow Dash, without teasing her or provoking her into defensive "No, actually I'm cool" barrier.

You gave a hint of conflict for both characters. Mostly Twilight's conflict. It was resolved via offer of help from Rainbow. You could have built up to this conflict a bit more. Maybe give us a bit of the scene beforehand, where Twi is worried about making it to this dinner on time, because tardiness is the worst crime imaginable. Make it seem like Rainbow might cause them to be late, so when we get to this point where it is Twi making them late, it's a twist. That's one idea of many you could have gone with to make this story, your story, more of what it was trying to do. You could add more to the front end, the back end, or beef up the middle. Or any combination of the three.

So, overall, while it had a few good bits, this was a pretty terrible story. It was way too timid. Instead of giving us a story to dive into, it barely poked a toe into the pool.


7420964
You're up to almost 50 dislikes. You're allowed to have your own opinion. In fact, no one can take that away from you. Even if someone convinces you to change your mind and agree with them, the new opinion is still yours.

You don't have to be a useless asshole with your opinions though. Expressing a dislike of the low number of PinkieDash stories on the site isn't relevant to this story, this author, or any of us readers of this story. If you want more PinkieDash stories, write them. Or find ways to actually share your opinion with authors in a non-confrontational way that might actually convince them of your opinion and write stories.

Even if you had somehow magically gotten this story transformed into a PinkieDash one, it would be a bad story still. Are you really so desperate for anything PinkieDash that you'd want this particular story just with the names swapped around some?

Here you go:
Pinkie bounced extra high, and landed on a cloud. She was on such a massive sugar high that she could walk on clouds. She saw her bestest best friend and girlfriend Rainbow Dash trying to nap on a cloud. She vibrated over, and started nomming on Dashie's wing. Dashie woke with a start, but quickly calmed down because, as we all know, wings are kinda like penises and if you get any kind of physical contact between them and another personpony, it's basically a cheatcode for pleasure. So, Pinkie oscillates in place, Dashie goes through a rainbow of climaxes, then goes back to sleep, worn out.

Pinkie descends from the cloud as she descends from her sugar high, and goes back to her primary job of patrolling Ponyville, gathering personal information on all of its residents, and plotting ways to make them all smile.

There. One more PinkieDash story on the pile. It's bad. But you don't care about that, do you?

Very cute, very romantic, and a series of SoL like this would be much appreciated

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