Preening Your Princess
With an impatient sigh, Rainbow Dash paced up and down the crystalline corridor of Twilight's castle. The clopping of her hooves rattled along the great hall as did the sound of her exaggerated breath as she let out another tired groan.
"Urgh, come on, Twilight, the table booking is in half an hour. I thought you were supposed to be all organised and stuff." The cyan pegasus grumbled as she paused before one of the corridor’s many doors, in particular the one containing her marefriend.
The pair of them had been dating for six months now, and the romantic meal they'd planned tonight was to celebrate just that. Rainbow herself had been ready for almost an hour, intent on not being beaten in anything, even getting ready for a date. She was also just as eager to make tonight as special for her marefriend as it was for her - that was if Twilight would ever come out of her room.
"Eerm...just a second Rainbow," Twilight called. A slight shuffling was heard and a sharp, "Ouch!" preceded her words.
Rainbow Dash eyed the door skeptically, her ears perked at the sound of whatever it was that Twilight was doing.
"You said that five minutes ago. Please don't tell me you don't know how long a second is?" Rainbow asked jokingly, giggling to herself slightly.
"What, of course I know... It's an expression Rainbow," Twilight snapped back; only a small hint of embarrassment in her muffled tone.
"Yeah I know, still what's taking you so long. We're gonna be late! And I thought you hated being late?" Rainbow pressed, a curiosity two parts playful and one part slightly concerned peaking in her mind as she moved right up to the door.
In that moment Twilight's hushed shuffling stopped, as if she were listening intently to the movements of her pegasus marefriend.
"Twilight, you sure you're okay in there?" Rainbow asked, pressing a hoof to the door.
"Yeah everything's perfectly fine, why wouldn't it be?" came the sheepish voice of Twilight.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, "Twilight, I know you well enough to know when something's bothering you. I'm coming in," she stated bluntly.
"Wait no…!"
They were the only words that could escape the purple alicorn’s lips as Rainbow Dash abruptly pushed open the door.
Instantly, Twilight threw up her forehooves to cover herself. Yet it was a futile gesture, and did nothing to stop Rainbow from seeing the dress that hung loosely from her side, her messy mane and her tattered feathers. She found it far harder to ignore that last one, being such an experienced athlete as she was. To see anypony's feathers like that was a shock, let alone her marefriend’s. Still, Rainbow couldn't understand Twilight's reluctance to be seen like this. Did she not trust her?
"Urm Twilight, what's wrong exactly?" Rainbow asked skeptically, gesturing to the frazzled alicorn with a hoof and trying her best not to gawk at the sight of her messy feathers.
Twilight let out a heavy sigh as her hooves dropped and she slouched in defeat.
"What's wrong? Look at me, I'm a total mess," she admitted shamefully.
Rainbow Dash cocked her head curiously.
"Of course you are, I thought the whole point of a makeover or...whatever you what to call this was to fix that though?" the pegasus stated.
"That's the problem, I can't fix it,” Twilight exclaimed, waving her hooves in frustration as she looked herself over.
"Well yeah, I can see why you might say that. It has been almost an hour since you..." Rainbow began, only to be cut off by a stern look from Twilight. "Okay, okay. What is it that you can’t do?"
At Rainbow's question, Twilight only sank down slightly more. "It's not the dress, or my mane, it's just..." she trailed off, blushing slightly.
Rainbow stepped closer, a look of loving sympathy replacing her wry smile as she sat down next to the timid alicorn. Who, she had to admit, looked impossibly cute while blushing like she was.
"Come on Twilight, you can tell me," she said kindly, taking her marefriend's hoof in her own.
Twilight sighed, but seeing Rainbow’s concerned expression she relaxed slightly.
"It's the wings I... I never learned how to preen them properly," she confessed shamefully.
Rainbow's look once again turned to one of shock at the idea of somepony who'd never learned how to do something so important. She had to restrain herself from blurting something stupid. Yet, the thought that Twilight wasn't actually a pegasus and not born with wings helped her understanding. It did little to soften the look of surprise on Rainbow's face however, and Twilight shrunk back again at that sight.
"I tried to learn how to do it, I read so many books on the subject but most of the techniques didn't really account for anypony in my situation," she continued to admit, her voice fading as her head drooped.
At those final words, Rainbow Dash finally found her voice and wrapped a wing about her marefriend.
“So you're telling me you’ve never preened your wings properly before?” she asked, slight surprise still evident in her tone no matter how hard she tried to hide it.
"I know, I know. To a pony like you I don't want to imagine how stupid this all sounds." Twilight muttered, sinking her reddened face into her forehooves.
"It's not stupid Twilight, in fact for somepony with as much to deal with as you I'm surprised you even had time to worry about it," Rainbow reassured her.
"Really?" Twilight asked, looking back up at the cyan pegasus hopefully.
"Well maybe not that last part, you're the princess of worrying after all. But that doesn't make you stupid," Rainbow corrected with a small smile.
"It still doesn't change the fact that I can't take care of my wings. I mean that’s like somepony not knowing how to dress themselves or brush their teeth."
"Well, for one we don't normally wear clothes Twilight, and two if you were a pegasus maybe. But you're not, you're more than that," Rainbow Dash told her, and the smile on Twilight’s face grew slightly.
"What's more than a pegasus?" she asked out of curiosity.
"Oh, only the most awesome mare I’ve ever met." Rainbow stated confidently, then blushed slightly. "She's also the kindest, most beautiful and... Well, I'm pretty sure right now that I’m in love with her," she added, rubbing a hoof over the back of her neck.
"Thanks Rainbow," Twilight told her appreciatively, nuzzling her side.
"Well what are marefriends for?" Rainbow Dash said, dismissing her previous embarrassment with a wave of her hoof as she nuzzled Twilight back. Then she paused, "Hey, give me your wing."
At those words Twilight's expression turned to slight confusion, and she tentatively extended her left wing to the pegasus.
"Wait, why?" the purple alicorn asked, even though she had nagging idea.
"So I can show you how to preen them of course. Why else?" Rainbow stated, as if Twilight should know.
"Wait, I thought that was a very personal thing. You know, only done by the pegasus themselves?" she asked skeptically; the information she had learned from reading about preening coming back to her.
"Yeah, usually it is. Unless you're teaching your foal how to do it or something. But..." Rainbow paused as her hoof brushed over Twilight's wing softly, ushering a small shiver from the alicorn. "It’s often something a pegasus likes sharing with their very special somepony," she added with a loving glance.
Twilight looked down at Rainbow's hoof as it trailed through her rough feathers with a masterful grace perfected by years of experience. She couldn't help but feel incredibly honored by the contact, and she had to fight to slip away into pure relaxation.
"Do I really mean that much to you?" Twilight asked, her voice almost a purr, even as she realised how important this must be to Rainbow.
The pegasus nodded swiftly, "I actually think you mean a lot more. Now, are you going to lay back and enjoy yourself or what?" Rainbow teased, before moving her muzzle down into Twilight’s feathers.
Whatever skill that Rainbow had with her hooves was put to shame by that - even the slightly sharp twinges of her pulling out damaged quills was more enjoyable than painful.
"Wait, Rainbow what about the date?" Twilight suddenly exclaimed.
Rainbow looked up from her wings, spitting a purple feather from her mouth.
"I think it can wait. Your wings certainly have for long enough," she responded, that same loving smile curled upon her muzzle.
Despite everything, Twilight couldn't agree more. All she could do was sit back, relax and enjoy what may possibly be the best reason for having wings she'd ever experienced.
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Months.
UGH, MORE TwiDash?! Why is there hardly any RainbowPie?!
Another great piece from you Draconic!
...Huh, looks like I might actually be the first to post a positive comment about this story.
7420964
Then why would you click on a piece about TwiDash?
7421037 One does have to wonder...
Ooh! And congrats on the feature!
7420999
7421418 Thank you!
Gonna read this, so wait for my comment!
Preening is best pony foreplay.
In all seriousness, very cute one-shot and great work with both characters. I would suggest, given both how short this is and that it is your first feature, that you maybe go back and edit the few grammatical/spelling errors in the fic, but other than that great job and welcome to the Fimfic Featured Authors Club!
7421483 Thanks, although this is not my first feature exactly. My last story made it into the feature box, and one other I did awhile ago did too. I appreciate the feedback though.
7421503
Oh my apologies, I think I must've mistaken the nature of your blog post. But you're most welcome!
7421037 hey it was in the feed as part of a group, so I didn't know what it was about!
How, HOW IN LESS THAN SIX HOURS, DOES MY COMMENT HAVE THIRTEEN DISLIKES?
And, the cover page doesn't have any cutie marks on the ponies. What's up with that?
7421810 (In sarcastic tone) Gee, lemme think about that...
7422115 SHUT THE BUCK UP I HAVE MY OWN OPINIONS!!!
7422254 hey good news its up to 17 now also twi dash is the best mane six pairing
This was really cute
!
Well, cute little story, can do with some more commas and ...
-> What's wrong?
-> confessed
-> either "her voice fading as her head drooped" or "her voice faded and her head drooped"
Hehe!
-> out of curiosity.
-> nuzzled
-> even though she had a nagging idea
-> "Your wings certainly have waited long enough" - though that might be personal preference
7423214 Thanks for the feedback. There's always some stuff that slips through editing
.
I'll make sure to implement the corrections though.
7423266
Well, for commas you would need another - I am struggling a bit with my mother-language-comma-rules, and with english ones even more. But good luck and keep on writing.
Will you be makeing more twidash stories in the future? I liked this one a lot! Keep up that good story writing!
7423359 Might consider doing some more, they're one of my favourite ships too. Although, I do want to try and do some stories with some other ships I've not done in the future as well.
7423413 Please do one with Sparity that one is great. I read your story, I love how the story moves along, but the ship is the only problem to me. Sorry for all the bad feedback.
7423546 To be fair, I don't really mind all that much. Everyone's entitled to their own opinion. Might consider Sparity, although I've always preferred to ship Spike with Rarity's sister instead. Nevertheless, there's a first time for everything.
7423572 Alright. I'm much more relieved now. I hope to read more of your work.
Short, but sweet, really sweet.
I'm all for short fluff-fics, but this seemed far too short. It ended just as I felt myself becoming invested in it. Just another thousand words and I think it could have been something really great for a little short fluff. The length also means it doesn't really stand out. It's hardly an idea that hasn't been explored on this site before, in much more detail, and usually with this very pairing.
BUT, that said, if you don't care about standing out, and you like keeping it as just a quick glimpse at the couple's lives, then I think it was pretty well done. The imagery was good, the grammar and spelling were good, it had a nice pace (until it ended kind of abruptly); just a plain nice addition to the TwiDash catalog.
7421810
Because you made a comment on a writer's story purely to complain about the characters used, implied that the author made an incorrect choice by even writing it and offered no reference at all to the story while you did it.
If you liked it, say so, if you didn't then say why. But if you just came to whinge about the lack of Rainbow/Pinkie shipping then you can fix that by writing your own story with those characters and not reading ones that ship other characters.
---
Very sweet story, even if I don't usually go in for the one-shots, and it was a little short.
7429155 Okay I get it, I'm not allowed to have my own opinion. And I apologized, right?! So you, sir, can get out of my business and think about what I said AFTER all the bad feedback. And do stop making me feel bad.
7420964 Comments like this make me want to make more accounts to dislike a single comment. Same with certain stories.
7485098 Just shut up.
Wow now! we got some tension in the comments! haha anyway, I liked the story It was a good short read. :)
7488090 i know right. All the fire for a comment. It is kinda funny though.
7424382 It's at forty ! What the actual fuck? XD
Even though she's now an Alicorn, Twilight still can't escape the Lavender Unicorn Syndrome.
Ever thought of making a clop of Preening Your Princess? I think you would make a good one.
7661896 Well the sequel was kinda half way there, maybe if there's a third instalment in this story line it will be a clop. Either way, if there was a couple I would write in that way, it would be these two.
7661896 Yeah, sexy follow up is needed!
7420964 God forbid the writer dosen't write what you want.
Just a little bit short but I still liked it, Rainbow was especially good here.
Good job.
No actual preening took place in story, 5 yards penalty. :| Kidding aside, I got a serious "That's it?" moment at the end.
7420964
I like both, but I feel this. c.c
Good story, but am disappointed that there wasn't more, or the actual preening in the story also.
Finished reading this just now. I realize it has been out for awhile now and has a couple of sequels which I guess I'll get around to reading. But, before I do, this story.
So, like others, I felt this was too short. It ended abruptly, without any real sense of "payoff." Unlike the others, I'm not here to complain about the "lack of preening." I imagine what most of them wanted to read was some overly detailed scene of Rainbow Dash moving feathers back into place, Twilight slowly building in arousal from someone playing with her
dickwing, and then probably moving on to more traditional coitus.In other words, a clopfic even if it remains [T]-rated due to lack of actual sex content.
What I felt unsatisfied by was that you set up what is a nice moment of the two growing closer as a couple. I would have liked to see more of that. How the two open up a bit towards each other because of this. Having an embarrassing thing like "I don't know how to perform proper hygiene on my wings" discovered, and seeing a more tender, motherly side of Dash instead of her usual bravado and cool, is a great start.
Keep going with that momentum you've built, and show some more. Not specifically a continuation or escalation of their preening, but have them talk it over. Let us see Twilight's gratefulness. Maybe talk about this side of Rainbow Dash, without teasing her or provoking her into defensive "No, actually I'm cool" barrier.
You gave a hint of conflict for both characters. Mostly Twilight's conflict. It was resolved via offer of help from Rainbow. You could have built up to this conflict a bit more. Maybe give us a bit of the scene beforehand, where Twi is worried about making it to this dinner on time, because tardiness is the worst crime imaginable. Make it seem like Rainbow might cause them to be late, so when we get to this point where it is Twi making them late, it's a twist. That's one idea of many you could have gone with to make this story, your story, more of what it was trying to do. You could add more to the front end, the back end, or beef up the middle. Or any combination of the three.
So, overall, while it had a few good bits, this was a pretty terrible story. It was way too timid. Instead of giving us a story to dive into, it barely poked a toe into the pool.
7420964
You're up to almost 50 dislikes. You're allowed to have your own opinion. In fact, no one can take that away from you. Even if someone convinces you to change your mind and agree with them, the new opinion is still yours.
You don't have to be a useless asshole with your opinions though. Expressing a dislike of the low number of PinkieDash stories on the site isn't relevant to this story, this author, or any of us readers of this story. If you want more PinkieDash stories, write them. Or find ways to actually share your opinion with authors in a non-confrontational way that might actually convince them of your opinion and write stories.
Even if you had somehow magically gotten this story transformed into a PinkieDash one, it would be a bad story still. Are you really so desperate for anything PinkieDash that you'd want this particular story just with the names swapped around some?
Here you go:
Pinkie bounced extra high, and landed on a cloud. She was on such a massive sugar high that she could walk on clouds. She saw her bestest best friend and girlfriend Rainbow Dash trying to nap on a cloud. She vibrated over, and started nomming on Dashie's wing. Dashie woke with a start, but quickly calmed down because, as we all know, wings are kinda like penises and if you get any kind of physical contact between them and another
personpony, it's basically a cheatcode for pleasure. So, Pinkie oscillates in place, Dashie goes through a rainbow of climaxes, then goes back to sleep, worn out.Pinkie descends from the cloud as she descends from her sugar high, and goes back to her primary job of patrolling Ponyville, gathering personal information on all of its residents, and plotting ways to make them all smile.
There. One more PinkieDash story on the pile. It's bad. But you don't care about that, do you?
Very cute, very romantic, and a series of SoL like this would be much appreciated