...Seriously, Back Off.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and sighed when Zephyr once again flashed her one of his most “Irresistible” smiles as they made their way to Wonderbolt Headquarters. She flapped her wings twice as hard and zoomed even faster through the air. After a few moments of silence, she could hear huffing and puffing somewhere over her shoulder as the lanky green stallion attempted to catch up with her.
“Goin’ a little fast there, Rainbows,” Zephyr wheezed, his forehead beaded with sweat. As he hovered up beside her, a small smirk formed on his face. “But I know you must be awful tired.”
Rainbow glanced over. “Tired?”
“‘Cause you’ve been runnin’ through my mind all day! Hoo-waahhh!”
Rainbow Dash lurched in midair and her tongue lolled out of her mouth. “Blech!”
“We almost there, Rainbows?” Zephyr panted, brushing the clump of blonde hair away from his drenched forehead. “All this exercise is startin’ to sweat out my ‘do.”
Rainbow’s eyes lifted. “Luckily for both of us...yeah, we’re here.” She met him with a stern look. “But you gotta do exactly what I tell you to do.” She circled in front of him and jabbed him in the chest. “No excuses. Got it?”
Zephyr grabbed on to her hooves and pulled them closer to him, his eyelids lowering. “Rainbows, I’ll do everything and anything you’d like me to do for you,” he purred. “Anythaaang.”
A low growl emanated from Rainbow’s throat as she yanked her hooves away, spun around, and took off towards the academy, breaking the sound barrier in the process. Zephyr's mouth fell. “H-Hey, wait up, Rainbows!”
Soarin’s mouth set in a thin line as he watched Rainbow Dash and...some other dude hovering above the academy runway. She zoomed left, right, and horizontal, her hooves pointing to certain areas in a curt, straightforward gesture.
The green pegasus was paying attention alright.
Too much attention.
Soarin’s green eyes narrowed. “Hmm.” He turned his head to see Fleetfoot walking by a few feet away with a clipboard. “H...Hey, Fleet!”
The mare’s head lifted before she trotted over with a relaxed but curious smile. “Yeah? What’s up?” Soarin nodded towards the sky.
“Do you know that guy up there?”
Fleetfoot followed his gaze and shrugged. “Not really. But I heard Dash say something about giving that guy a job or something like that.” She lifted an eyebrow as the stallion gave a stray cloud a lackluster push. “Hope it’s not permanent.”
“That makes the two of us,” Soarin said with the clench of his jaw. Fleetfoot gave him a firm pat on the shoulder before walking off, the twinkle in her eye going unnoticed. Soarin didn’t have any particular duties to attend to at the moment, though there was always somepony he could lend a hoof to. I should get going, he thought to himself. Spitfire would be right on my tail if she caught me lollygagging like this.
He turned and started to leave, but before he could even take two steps forward, something flashed in his peripheral vision. It was the stallion leaning forward and taking a whiff of Rainbow’s mane when her back was turned.
An embarrassingly high whinny escaped Soarin as he whirled around completely. Before he knew what was happening, Soarin was suddenly in the air and by Rainbow’s side. The mare turned her head and her eyes widened a little. “Oh hey, Soarin! Does Spitfire have something for me to do?”
Soarin’s mind suddenly went blank. Now that he was up here, he had no idea what he was going to say. What could he say, and how in Equestria was he going to make it believable? “I...I uh…” his brow furrowed as his eyes darted about. “Uh, no. No, I was just comin’ by to see if you needed any...help with anything!” he flashed a grin, hoping it would stick.
Much to his relief, Rainbow smiled, and not in a teasing way. “Nah, I’m good. I was just explaining to Zephyr Breeze here--” The green pegasus gave a mock salute. “--How to clear these few clouds away so that the other Wonderbolts can have safe passage when they pull in. I know I usually do that, but Zeph’s kinda looking for a job. You don’t mind, do you?”
Only if you don’t mind me punching this guy. Soarin shook his head, crossing his forelegs. “No. No, that sounds good. In fact, I’d like to watch.”
“...Oh. Okay, cool.” She turned to Zephyr and pointed outward. “You heard him! Show us what you got!”
“And be sure to watch yourself out there,” Soarin said in a light tone. He floated towards taller stallion and spoke in a low whisper. "And I mean that."
Zephyr gave him a cocky grin, unwittingly making Soarin’s blood boil. “A-no problemo, Mr. boss sir! This is merely foal’s-play! Consider it already done!” With that, he flew off toward his first cloud.
“Sooo,” Soarin said casually. “Are you okay, or what? What’s the deal with this guy?”
Rainbow looked surprised. "Well...yeah. Of course I'm okay. I’m just helping him out a little,” she replied, not taking her eyes off of Zephyr. “Big slacker, this one. I’ve gotta keep my eye on him. I know he’s been having a rough time lately, but...he’s been bugging the heck out of me to be honest.”
“I saw,” Soarin said in a low voice. Upon seeing Rainbow’s odd expression, he quickly stammered, “I mean, I couldn’t help but notice. You don’t look too happy about it yourself!” His mouth curved into a concerned frown. “I like that you’re helping a pony out, but...why are you hanging out with this...this creepo?”
Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, he’s not just any creepo. He’s my friend Fluttershy’s little brother. I kinda knew him since I was a filly.” Her expression grew more thoughtful. “After Flight School, my Dad started bringing me over to Fluttershy’s house for play dates. The minute I walked in, Zephyr latched onto my tail and demanded that I marry him.” She snickered at the memory, bringing a hoof over her face. “He was barely out of his diapers!”
Seeing Rainbow brighten up caused an involuntary smile to creep onto his face. “I take it he’s been the flirt ever since, huh?”
Rainbow gradually stopped laughing and shook her head. “I wish I could say I’m used to it,” she said with the roll of her eyes. “It’s more annoying than anything else.”
“I hear ya,” Soarin agreed, absently running a hoof down his chest. “Not to brag, buuut I’ve had a fair share of flirts myself during my career."
Rainbow snorted.
"It's true! One actually managed to catch my eye for a while. But don't worry, that was way before I met you though.”
Rainbow’s eyes widened and she gave him a sideways glance. “Why would that matter?”
Soarin immediately straightened up, his cheeks starting to flare up. “I-It might..”
“It does?”
“It could.”
“It won’t.”
They looked in opposite directions, shifting awkwardly. Rainbow coughed, hoping her face would cool down. “A-Anyway….hey!” Her eyes sparked as she flew over to a distant cloud...a cloud Zephyr was napping on. “You stinker!”
Soarin flew over them, chuckling. “I dunno, Dash. He kinda reminds me of you when we’re on break!”
Rainbow flew up and reached for a darkened cloud and smirked. “Quiet, before I zap you too.” As the multi-colored pegasus neared Zephyr with the storm could, Soarin squeezed his eyes shut, grinning.
The smell of burnt hair filled the air, accompanied by a high-pitched shriek. “Wh-wh-wh-what was that for!?” Zephyr cried.
“Seriously?” Rainbow said incredulously, pushing the storm cloud aside. “You were sleeping on the job!”
Zephyr pouted.. “I’m just taking a little break, that’s all! How do you expect me to move clouds all day without a bit of rest?” He reclined back onto his cloud and patted the spot beside him with a smile. “But it seems that I left my teddy bear at home...mind if I cuddle with you instead?”
Soarin watched Rainbow Dash’s face scrunch up in disgust. “Okay. First off: Ewww! Second--you haven’t even cleared off half the clouds up there! How can the Wonderbolts fly in at top speed with all of these clouds in their way!?”
“And I’d cut that out if I were you,” Soarin added darkly. “She’s not interested.”
Zephyr laughed. “Oh, lighten up, boss-sir. She knows I’m just teasin’.”
Rainbow sighed and pushed against Zephyr’s side, grunting. “Come on, get up!”
Zephyr was almost at the edge of the cloud, and despite the fact that he had wings, he couldn’t help but yelp. “Fine, fine, Rainbows, you win! I’ll get up and keep on pushing clouds...on one condition.”
Rainbow stopped pushing and glowered. “Ugh. What?” Zephyr’s hoof suddenly cradled her chin and lifted it up, causing Rainbow to meet his eyes.
“You can give ol’ Zephyr a itty bitty kiss.”
“WHAT!?” Rainbow Dash squawked.
“I promise I’ll give it right back!” He sneered, puckering his lips.
Rainbow Dash jerked back, looking ready to barf. Her lips pulled back into a snarl as she raised a hoof when Zephyr suddenly cried out again. A bolt of lightning singed his mane, making it stick out in all directions. “Aah!”
Rainbow blinked in confusion, but burst out laughing when she saw Soarin with another storm cloud. “Sir, you have violated Rule #4882,” Soarin said curtly. “Harassment of a Wonderbolt will result in eight months incarceration.”
Zephyr whimpered as he attempted to fix his mane. “S...split ends...SPLIT ENDS!” He pointed a hoof at Rainbow Dash, who was still doubled over laughing. “You’re crazy!” He shifted his gaze to Soarin. “You especially!” Soarin jerked forward with the cloud, making Zephyr cry out. “Oh, I’m gettin’ out of here!”
With the flap of his wings, he took off flying, wailing, “I’m goin’ home to my big sis!”
Rainbow exhaled as the giggles left her. “Oh, man. That was priceless!” She stared after Zephyr with the slight shake of her head. “I’ll check on Flutters and her brother later. “ Her shoulders sagged slightly. “But now I’ve gotta clear all these clouds before Spitfire finds out!”
Soarin smiled at her as he flew backwards over her head. “Ah, don’t worry about it. I’ll help you out.”
“Really? Heh...thanks a lot, Clipper.”
“No problem, Crash.”
“I really do owe you one...or two for that matter.” She flew to the left and grabbed a cloud when she noticed Soarin hanging on to the same cloud. Breathing lightly, they stared at each other, their snouts just inches apart.
Rainbow Dash smiled.
Soarin smiled back.
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It's a shame this threat was never acted upon. Seeing Zephyr miserable in prison, carving out the days until he's released on the wall, strumming on his banjo while pining in front of a lifesize picture of Dash, would've been a FAR superior ending than the predictable conclusion we ended up with.
Duly faved.
*dies if fangirling*
This was beautiful
I LOVED IT!
This. This is perfection. All of my yes
What's with the Sex tag though?
7279172 In case if someone thought something was a sexual reference. I'm paranoid
7279174 ... now I'M GETTING PARANOID... It makes me think of those smutty cloppy fics around here...
7279183 Haha
I'll take it off, since no one's raised a flag or anything 
7279174
Ahhh, makes legit sense
I can't see anything that would "spark interest" though...
BUT GREAT STORY REGARDLESS
I like this. A lot. You are good at your job.
Upvoted for the SoarinDash shiptease, faved for the Author's Notes.
Good story! Soaring/Dash isn't normally a ship I support, but you made it work here.
7279234 Thanks! I'm also dying over your Miraculous Ladybug picture. I squee every time I see it
7279273 Yeah, maybe so! It's still fun to play with though
All i could think when i watched the episode was, KEEP YOUR HOOFS OF MY DASHIE!. Zephyr annoyed me in this episode everytime he touched Rainbow Dash. And the other joke was that this episode was also co written by Dave Rapp. The same one responsible for Newbie Dash. ><. I am currently working on a sketch of Pinkamena where she has Flash Sentry and Zephyr Breeze tied up in chains. Ive even thought of adding Gilda to it after what she did to Flutters in the first season.
Weird thing is, I still like Zephyr/Rainbow more than Rainbow/Soarin, even with all the fics/pics going out of their way to make him a worse creeper than he was.
I dunno, it just strikes me as more interesting, you know? Once Zephyr Breeze has cleaned up his act a little, I can see them interact on a more even level than before. Soarin/Dash is fine in its own way, but it's not my first choice anymore.
Zephy is gross and isnt rainbow dash older than him since fluttershy is his older sister and fluttershy and rainbow dash was classmates on school
7279904 Yep they are both older
OMG the nicknames makes it more romatic(err i dunno) but it makes the ship more awesome!!!
7279907 I know right!?
This was very satisfying to read after that debacle. Frankly I'm surprised even Flutters' parents thought Rainbow liked Zephyr in the episode. Unbelievable.
This was... Incredibly entertaining! It really felt like a deleted scene. Granted, the shipping wouldn't fly in an actual episode, but everything else felt like right out of the show. But the shipping was very cute. I'm not normally a SoarinDash shipper—MacDash OTP, w00t!—but it felt natural and realistic. Like, if the show ever DID shipping, that's what I think it's look like.
Have a like, author! I really enjoyed this.
soarindash is outdated
LOVE. IT. SO. MUCH.
I'm... not convinced they didn't do that anyway. By the end of the episode, I was cringing every time Rainbow talked to him, completely ignoring how much of a creep he was being. Even singing a whole song for him.
And the lesson we learned is, when someone is making repeated unwanted advances, you just kind of pretend it isn't happening?
7280086 Yeah! Even though I loved her parents to death, it was just like...really tho?
Now I need to write a thing about Fluttershy and Zephyr having a third sibling.
Hey...I really really really hate to be that guy...but I promise I'm just trying to help...
Horses don't have fur; they have hair.
People tend to point that out somewhere or another...and since no one has, I wanted to try and do it politely, so you could fix it if you wanted to. It's not that big of a deal, just something I noticed.
Anyways...as for the story. I really, really enjoyed it. It was cute, and kept me smiling all the way through. It was very well-written for what it was supposed to be: dialogue-centric with quick, concise description. I really loved it, and with your recent work, especially this one...I'm tempted to give you a follow. We'll see.
Also...
That was hilarious.
Glad this story exists. I cringed every time Zephyr tried hitting on Dash, so it's nice to see him get served.
I'm glad this story exists.
Zephyr is seriously the worst.
I have to agree with other reviewers that this could have been a cut scene from the show. The dialog was excellent as was the description of all the action and movement of the characters.
Lol this was awesome!
Haven't even read it yet and this is already my new favorite fic, as it denies the zephyrdash ship which I loathe with every particle in my body
This is exactly what I thought happened
Oddly enough, my friend drew this earlier today: http://pimpartist101.deviantart.com/art/Hippie-Gets-It-Gooood-613564796
7281625 That's too awesome
I love her art! Thanks for reading!
Oh my gosh!
Lol so hard!XD Funniest moment by far for the funniest fix for "Flutter Brutter" so far! Those lines by Zephyr is soooo classic:D 
You are simply spot on with his character:D
Bravo to you for giving me another Zephyr/Rainbow/Soarin story, except this time, making Soarin the jealous one instead of Zephyr being the jealous. I love how you wrote Soarin as this nice guy on the outside, but totally wants to murder Zephyr on the insideXD I also love how you wrote the interaction between Rainbow and Zephyr, and how you wrote Zephyr overall
Unlike most of the readers for this story, I came for the one sided funny Zephyr crush on Rainbow:3 Not the SoarinDash. I'm such shipper trash cause I'm open minded to the possibility of a ZephyrDash ship;3 So for me, this fix was like candy;) :P
This SoarinDash shipper approves!
7281013 Eh, I'm sure there's someone for him out there. Maybe one of those annoying socialites.
Good story. It is written pretty canonically-ly. ...I'm not sure what word I'm trying to say but I don't think it's that. XP You get the idea.
This fic
Really liked the message of the episode...still how can flutters parents be so blind
7281884 Only if the episode calls for it
I only ship three couples of the entirety of mlp, so it doesn't happen that often, though I've been giving the Romance tag a workout lately 
What can I say..season 6 is the season of ships...it's out of my hands 
HAHAHAHAHAHA! BEST PART!
I would love to take part in an audio book of this.
I just know I can pull off Zephyr!
A long awaited SoarinDashish story from the featured spot!
And well deserved it is! Great fic! Made me laugh
I'm pretty sure that when someone's making unwanted advances, you're NOT supposed to ignore that person. Zeph gives off that creepy but suave vibe. Also, he reminds me of Tom Sawyer from Mark Twain's books, but much older.
Hehe, this was pretty funny.
7282919
I'm pretty sure that none of his actions in the episode would be classified as more than just him being an insensitive jerk. He wasn't sexually harassing or stalking her, and they weren't in a structured environment where interactions are specially regulated, so the most she could do was just leave (which she did when he showed up at Fluttershy's house).
The cover-art makes Soarin look like a petulant child.
... Then again I can't really think of any expression like that on a pony's face that wouldn't.
I reviewed this story as part of Read It Now #82!
You can read my review here.
y'know normally I try to give characters people don't like the benefit of the doubt, but there was something about Zephyr that was way too real for me. So I didn't mind alittle comeuppance in the form of this fic, Regardless, love him or hate him you definitely wrote him in-character, I could practically hear his voice when reading the lines (unfortunately)
Aside from that Soarins internalized dialogue seems reasonably realistic considering the circumstances. It definetly feels like the CHARACTER hates Zephyr isn't just being a mouthpiece for the writer, which isn't amazingly common, but when it happens does feel rather cringe-worthy.