• Member Since 16th May, 2015
  • offline last seen Nov 15th, 2020


If you happen to cry, I will be there. If you happen to smile, will you do the same for me?


Cadet "Garden Hose" receives a simple mission: to infiltrate the Crystal Empire in the guise of a pony, replace Cadence's baby with a changeling princess, then return safely home.

It's a pity that all the advice she was given was: "When in doubt, water flowers."

Written for the S6 Premiere Short Story Contest of the SFNW group.

Special thanks to Octavia Harmony for editing.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 33 )

This is absolute hilarious! Surely

the undying love of a moon goddess

is not too bad. Or is it?

This was a literal masterpiece. I have never related to a changeling so much.

"You know me, Sergeant Quartz." I flashed a smile. "Somepony has to take care of them." I hate my life! "Also moonlight watering is good for flowers."

If this ain't me, I don't know what is.

I think Carapace has a bigger problem.. namely she has got a newborn Alicorn to deal with now too, ok she's really a larval changeling queen but how will the poor infiltrator explain how she happens to have a Alicorn filly that looks exactly like Flurry heart? But when she gets caught and there are two baby alicorns... will Shining Armor be able to take the idea of two kids (You know Cadance would adopt the little queen on the spot)?

Wonderful. Ten out of ten. Best dumb advice I've ever heard.
Reminds me a little bit of "no-one notices a sweeper".

This was fantastic.

7132298 :) One could only assume. Then again, calories are merciless. :)

7132300 :D Glad you enjoyed :)
Is a bit scary, though. Hopefully, the ending is uplifting enough :))

7132352 Oh dear! Two of them! Even without the alicorn powers, this is one pair of "identical twins" that would drive anyone insane :)
(Apart from Cadence :))

7133092 :) Happy you enjoyed :D Well, the advice isn't too bad... It hasn't snowed there in millennia. A Failsafe plan, that is! :)

Those replacement instructions made me crack up, largely from that last bit.

That's the fun of some stories, when you accidentally leave something out and it leads to.. Horrifying(ly funny) implications

7133631 :) That's good military advice! :)

7133947 Potential sequel horrorness! :D

7134238 No changelings were harmed during the making of this fic O:)

Just keep watering flowers until the questions stop.


I would like to see this continued.

Snrk, that went swimmingly.

7134331 Hey Lise the last paragraph has a i in it that you missed.

7135282 Very well... :) Hopefully, soonish there will be more about the unfortunate Garden :D

7136477 :) Somethies things don't go according to plan :)

7137392 Oops. Much obliged :))

Poor little 'ling.

I'm reminded of Bon Bon in the first episode of Friendship is Witchcraft.
:twilightsmile: "You know what? I'm not even mad at you. You stick to your principles."

Also, though, aside from Princess Luna (and the occasional blush), most of the alleged flirting read more like being friendly/neighborly to me. Makes me wonder if such close proximity to the Crystal Heart keeps the whole city inundated with love, or if Carapace is too inexperienced to distinguish between different forms of love "fresh from the pony", so to speak... heck, or just if I'm the weird one here. :applejackunsure:

7138574 :) Thanks :D Must rewatch those.

Nope, there's no confusion on her part. Just, unknown to her, watering flowers displays availability O:) (I'll touch more on that in the potential sequel :))

7138289 :D That's what one gets for going after an "easy promotion" :)

"What kind of monster trades out her own child?"

7139619 :D Folklore changelings do :)


Interesting stuff :))


potential sequel?


I'll bet 'watering the flowers' is some sort of pony code for 'I'm interested in you romantically' or something. :rainbowkiss:

I can see a twin princess here quite easily, one a crystal pony the other a changeling.

It was so brilliant that I grinned stupidly all the way through. If Garden Hose ain’t anything else, she’s dedicated, that’s for sure.

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