• Member Since 5th May, 2013
  • offline last seen January 27th

PegasusMesa


Every time you read one of my stories, an orphan is allowed to be happy. Do it for the orphans.

T

Legends say that one hundred years ago, the mad Baron von Hoofenstein hid a cursed treasure hoard somewhere in his country mansion located near what would one day be Ponyville. To this day, none have managed to brave the long-abandoned manor's dark hallways for long enough to discover the baron's stash.

Twilight Sparkle doesn't believe in curses or ghosts, so she readily agrees to help Rainbow Dash hunt down the supposedly haunted booty. Unfortunately, something other than specters stalks the halls of the baron's mansion—something with rough skin and razor-sharp teeth; something with pointed fins and breath strong enough to make a pony gag; something wearing a pink bow-tie and a greasy black wig.

Something named Sharktavia.

Many thanks to the blood-thirsty Rainedash, Kamikakushi, and Waterpear, who each mangled this into shape. Further thanks to Lord Destrustor, who created the cover image that only I am using (and nobody else ever will seriously don't look at the front page I promise).

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 25 )

This is it. The crown jewel in the gibbering diadem known as Sharktavia.

MOAR SHARKTAVIAAAAAA :pinkiecrazy:

This phenomenon is deeply intriguing, as is this story. Definitely looking forward to more.

Majin Syeekoh
Story Approver

I was promised sharks.

7119987

Brah I know I told you there'd be sharks but like you gotta be patient brah there's like a ton of ins and outs I gotta circumspect through yo

Majin Syeekoh
Story Approver

7120027 I'll circumspect you.

Bby.

I've read just about every Sharktavia, and I still feel like I'm missing something...
media2.giphy.com/media/BqMIJUVmeUcxO/giphy.gif

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Oi! Are you gonna finish dis? :B

7143431

You can bet your bippy, I am

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

7143480
Well feckin' do it so's I kin read it, ye git! >:B

7143489

OKAY I'LL DO IT YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL

GOD

So, is she a were-shark? Or does the Hoofenstein mansion hold a cloning facility where they tried to clone Octavia but instead got a snooty shark?

7247497

What if I told you her bow-tie was the real shark all along?

7249044

Oo, I love lazy twists! Not such a big fan of lazy Twist, though.

7249108 It's better than no Twist. Seriously, she's probably the most underused character in the entire fandom.

This gets more and more beautiful.

Sharks are the unheard messengers of the sea. They bring sonic waves and cundhulent breaches from one sector the other. They are gorgeous creatures.

Octavia is also a beautiful creature. She plays sweet music in the vein of cheese and rhinoplasty. I just really lover her work.

Good story.

7255808

Your words are like sweet ambrosia to the sensibilities.

7255849 I'm sorry, I was totally drunk while writing that last night. I am now projectile vomiting at the con bathroom.

She pushed through the door and into a small sitting room, where her nose immediately wrinkled

The best spacing errors are the ones that aren't actually just my computer loading text wrong.

Briefly Twilight considered going back the way

Wouldn't this flow better as 'Twilight briefly considered'? Just a thought.

Like a pony, it stood on four legs

Needs either a comma (as indicated) or swap to 'it stood on four legs like a pony'.

Briefly,she considered

So, when you do spacing, it really is double or nothing.

flattening any obstacle Twilight threw in its way. Closed doors, flipped tables, and even at one point an old set of glass marbles—it barreled through everything unfortunate enough to get in its way

Repeating 'in its way', and in such a way that the repetition actually slots in under the original. Kind of admirable.

she just wanted to be not-scared somewhere else..

Double period.

How many stairs had she walked down so far?

In this case, the emphasized word is one that is supposed to be in the sentence, but isn't.

I feel like your Fluttershy is a caricature of Fluttershy based off of an over-simplification of her character. That, or you're just really bad at writing Fluttershy. Also, is there anywhere I can read about her adventure?

You did not just introduce a hardboiled detective with a vendetta against sharks.

His white, creamy coat was stained blue by a wicked-looking bruise around his left eye.

I have introduced another word that should be there, but currently isn't.

“I think I heard somepony cry out.” Twilight closed her eyes and listened as hard as she could, but other than the sound of her breathing and Fluttershy’s muttering, nothing presented itself. “We need to go find Rainbow Dash and Vinyl as soon as we can
This time Twilight didn’t even try to keep the exasperated groan in. “Fine. Fine, if that’s how it’s going to be, then that’s how it’s going to be.”

See that paragraph break? I feel like there's at least twenty words that are completely missing here.

Also, I continue to fail to see why you felt it was necessary to have a subplot about masturbating rabbits. All it does is take us out of what little immersion we can scrounge up from all the OOC actions and disjointed dialogue and make us really regret biology class.

“Told you so.”

Heartless bitch.

I'll say one thing in favor of this story:

You write decent action scenes. Twilight's 'fight' against Sharktavia was decently tense and flowed better than basically any other scene in the story thus far.

Is this ever gonna get continued?

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