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chillbook1


One day, you will all come to my funeral just to make sure that I stay dead, but today is not that day | https://ko-fi.com/chillybook

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Sunset Shimmer, Starlight Glimmer, Trixie Lulamoon, and Twilight Sparkle all have one thing in common: They want to be the greatest Huntresses in Vale. With the Vytal Festival coming up at the end of the year, they have time to train and learn to become just that.

A RWBY Crossover.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 48 )

Vytal festival......heh...
fun fact, all openings have some form of foreshadowing, in lyrics and onscreen....
this one has quite a few...

6907960 You my friends just gave me an idea.

Okay. Not a bad start, but I'd advise you slow things down a lot. You're throwing a lot of information into the first chapter here and not giving the characters enough time to really deal with the situations they found themselves in. I feel more could have been said about Trixie and Starlight as well. They seem to be a lot like Volume 1 Yang, in that they're just there to fill a spot. The sooner you start fleshing out the characters the better. Good luck with the story.

6911481 Yes, I noticed that there was a lot going on. The reason I jammed everything together so much is because I didn't want the chapter to be too long. It already ended up stretching longer than I intended.

As for Starlight and Trixie, they will most certainly be expanded upon. Each chapter will focus on a different character and pair. I'll try to slow it down a bit.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

6911512 No problem. And don't worry too much about the length of a chapter. If it has all the details it needs it's long enough.

Already following one. Might as well be consistent. Plus, it's RWBY. Who am I to ignore?:twilightsmile:

6907960 This one took over Time To Say Goodbye as my favorite opening and song.:pinkiehappy:

6914731 Same. When It Falls never fails to hype me up.

Trixie is kind of a badass.

I'm so happy I hit those buttons up top.:pinkiehappy:

6917788 Trixie thanks you for calling her a badass. Trixie also would like to say that you are a badass for reading.

6917631 The Great and Powerful Trixie appreciates your love.

Hoping that the 'bad guy team' (if there is one) turns out to be Sonata, Aria, and Adagio, :pinkiecrazy:

6919101 They won't show up for a while. I was referring to FRRP.

So why did you skip into the middle of their first Semester? I feel it would have been better to show us Trixie and Starlight not getting along as their time together progresses. This tends to be more impactful than just saying it happened. It let's the reader see their history, see why the characters don't get along and makes their eventual friendship that much more meaningful. It's gonna be the same for Sunset and Twilight. It's good writing as it is, but this could be a great story if you follow the show-don't-tell rule.

6919227 It was a matter of how much each issue mattered to me. On one hand, I could pick up almost immediately from where Sunny left off. From there, I could show off Starlight and Trixie bickering and hating each other. On the other hand, I could go right to when the problem has escalated enough to where Starlight decides to do something and hope that the two characters' basic natures are enough to make it believable. The reason I went with the latter rather than the former is that all of the beginning of the chapter would be padding. I don't believe Starlight would do anything this drastic until weeks of working with Trixie, so I would have to do something to fill that time. None of it would be substantial, and I didn't want to turn it into a filler episode, so to speak. Ultimately, I'd rather have it be slightly less impactful than have it filled with complete nonsense.

Totally unrelated, but this is the second chapter you've commented on, and I didn't get a notification either time. Is this some sort of fimfiction magic that I'm not familiar with?

Didn't think this would amount to much, to be honest. Most of the MLP/RWBY crossovers I've seen so far have been pretty lackluster, all this needs is a bit of polish and it might just shine like a... Beacon!...

I apologise, it won't happen again...

6923400 Yang would be proud.

Thanks for reading

6919278 Not sure why you're not getting notified. That's strange.

As for the story, I'd advise the development of the characters and their relationships with each other, be the subplot to some conspiracy or some large scale Grimm problem. At least a big enough problem that they see the sense in putting their differences aside and working together. It'll keep things from seeming padded and allow for more natural and impactful character development.

Loving the story you're telling and the world you're building. Good character development and nice use of Starxie. I await the next chapter.

6977929 Glad you enjoyed, and I-

Did you just say "Starxie"? :rainbowlaugh:

Well done. This was a really well told chapter. To be honest the pacing was great. Not sure what you didn't like about it. Personally I'd use this as an example of how to pace the rest of the story. Excellent job.

6981298 Hm. How strange. Personally, I thought it was way too fast. Guess that's just writer's perspective

6981926 Could be. Still thought you did a really good job.

So sad that after all that study/grim killing they still cheated, just like Twilight I too am disappointed in the team:facehoof:

Such a great end, they feel like such collage students right now. Each caught up in their own little world some passing with flying colors, others cheeting wonderfully, except for the essays.

Twilight = Brain; Sunset, Starlight, Trixie = Brawn
Like many laws in physics, this may as well be a constant.

I love how you did Twilight's "I'm not so special. Anyone can do what I do," train of thought. Very Legit.:pinkiehappy:

Why was the last chapter called "Sunset" when it was very clearly focused on Twilight and that's also the name of the first chapter?

To me the story as a whole seemed rushed, the final chapter especially. And then there's the scene in chapter one where Sunset forgives Twilight for no reason for something she didn't do in the first place, yeeeeeaaaahhhhh (plot contrivance). In that case I hated the first and last chapters of this story, which also just so happen to be the most important chapters in any story.

Still, as far as RWBY crossovers go, this was one of the best I've read on this site (which isn't saying much). It's definitely set up in a way that necessitates a sequel, but I won't be reading it.

7162597 The reasoning behind the chapter name is the first Sunset was for Sunny and the second for the team name, which is also Sunset. I understand how tough that might be to catch, so I was kinda banking on you following FRRP as well.

Sunset didn't really forgive Twilight, more like she realized that she had no reason to hate her in the first place.

Rushed? I won't argue that, though I don't actually like that term as it applies here. What's more accurate is to say that it moves too fast (rushed implies that I didn't even try to put the work in)

Of course it's going to get a sequel. This isn't even the main story. In a lot of ways, this is just a trailer.

Sorry to disappoint.

Actually I thought this was better then some of the other chapters

I understand that fan inturpation is normal but, I can't help but to point out that cannon has proven that when both Sunset and Starlight are motived they can learn quite easily through research, just you know Starlight had to be movtivate by revenge to finsh one of Star Swirl the Breaded time spells, that has got to be no easy feat.

7443414
"Star Swirl the Breaded, the world's most powerful unicorn! After an accident involving experimental flour, a taffy-pulling machine, and 3 dozen gallons of changeling saliva, his magic was increased a thousandfold.

He now has total control over bread, and bread based foods!"

Just my two cents, but, yeah, I think this chapter was better paced that the previous ones.

7530708 Your two cents are much appreciated.

6923400 6915084
I guess you could say Sunset is Beacon's bacon.

Hi Chillbook! My name is GoldenMare (TaShawn N. Matthews) and I'm a quite a bit impressed in this My Little Pony & RWBY Crossover you've made. A Equestria Version of Remnant with My Little Pony Characters in it, I believe? Sounds kind of interesting. And this Crossover, and this first chapter, you've made so far, is Awesome! :pinkiehappy:

Mainly because of the four characters you've used for this Crossover, which are Twilight, Trixie, Sunset & Starlight! Who are my Favorite Characters, Twilight being my most favorite out of all of them, from My Little Pony! So far, I've just read this chapter, and it looks and sounds kind of interesting. Especially the weapons you have giving them and named them! :pinkiesmile: :pinkiehappy:

Now Let me see if I'm correct, Sunset's Axe-Guitar you've named is the same name of the person who Portrays/Voices as Sunset Shimmer herself? :twilightsmile:

7755752 Thanks for reading and commenting, almost forgot about this one.

The name of Sunny's axe did indeed come from her voice actress (Rebecca Shoichet). Rebecca is also a Hebrew name meaning "strong combatant" or "warrior".

Hey, been a long time fan of these fics, and loved that you're coming back to continue the sequel. Something I realized on re-reading this though that crossed my mind, we actually haven't gotten to see what Sunset's Semblance is yet. Any chance you can share what that is? My money is on something related to either her angel or demon transformations from the first and third EG movies.

7908675 First of all, thanks for reading and enjoying! I'm glad to know that readers aren't taking my total neglect of ASSD as a personal betrayal.

Secondly, with all that went on in this story, I couldn't really find a way to squeeze Sunset's Semblance in. Ideally, I would've done it in the first chapter, during initiation, but I found Trixie and Starlight's Semblances to be more important to talk about. I won't say exactly what it is (mostly for the fact that I haven't worked out all the kinks and restrictions yet, myself), but I will say two things:

1) You will definitely see Sunset's Semblance in a future story (probably Remnants of Equestria: Vytal Festival)
2) You're on the right track

Again, thanks for reading, commenting, and putting up with my bullshit. I'll be better in the future, I promise.

“Wait, what?” said Sunset suddenly. “I aced the essays? We didn’t cheat on the essays, did we? Then how…? Huh. I guess some of what Sparks taught us did stick… Who’d have thought?” I smiled brightly. It wasn’t perfect, but teaching them something was better than nothing.

Plot twist. The person behind twilight copied her essays and the person next to the first copied him. This continues down the row and back around until it gets to the rest of team SSTT where they then copy off of Rainbow Dash's and Pinkie Pie's test. Unknowingly cheating off of Twilight after all.

Hm. I'm a touch surprised that in that particular group there isn't somebody who's turned insisting Starlight is a "sociopath, not a psychopath" into an in-group conversational reflex. Though psychology is hardly a static science, terminology's constantly debated anyway, and just because they're all bright and presumably all read doesn't happen to mean any of them cover that subject. Feh.

It flew half a foot and dropped to the ground.

And EQG Trixie gets a sudden inexplicable urge to look in a mirror and slap herself for not practicing until it's automatic. (Basic form should let anybody throw a card ten to fifteen feet without any real practice, or visibly "boomerang" an uncrimped card two feet or so. Practicing magicians are on record as "dealing" cards to specific audience members at eighty-foot ranges, or scaling a crimped card out to twenty feet and catching it again in the deck. I might think she uses metal cards, but not if she's still doing card tricks with them.)

...Really, though, if I wasn't impressed with the story I wouldn't be commenting at all.

7443414
I'm still not convinced Starlight so much finished Star Swirl's spell so much as slashed out anything she didn't understand the purpose of or safeguards she thought looked stupid until she got a version that looked like it would do what she wanted it to. And that even without Twilight interfering there was absolutely no way to use that spell to produce a result she'd be happy with - and that reducing the consequences of ponies' experimentation with time travel to "pointless" from "innately self-destructive" was why the original spell had all those limits and refinements there in the first place. Given the time frame involved, I find it easiest to believe Twilight looked at the spell and saw how much she didn't understand, and Starlight looked at the spell and saw how much she didn't care. Not saying Starlight isn't very intelligent, but education still matters. Having to reinvent mathematics and experiment to rediscover natural laws always slows you down, and there are subjects where it doesn't help much at all.

Sunset's also flexible as a character in that while she's perfectly capable of excelling academically, she can ignore books when she has something better to be doing, and we have here a setting with no shortage of "better things to be doing". Also, she's getting constant feedback that she has abilities which matter and which will let her help people. She's already a leader. The drive for a lot of her most competitive, self-critical, antisocial behavior's already neutralized. I can believe she's more laid-back here and reads more for pleasure than knowledge.

9090302
If the rest of the class also sees the tournament as the goal and passing the test as simply the entrance fee that scenario would not surprise me in the least. Or the similar scenario where SST knew perfectly well the rest of the class planned to cheat, that there was no way the teachers wouldn't notice the results, and therefore saw no point in preparing for that exam other than to humor T.

9438503
Trixie never practiced her card throwing because she never needed to; She's used to sending the cards flying with a burst of her Aura, which doesn't require much in the way of physically throwing it. When she had her Aura shut down, she wasn't prepared to actually have to throw it.

9440115
Got it. Suppose I've gotten a little too attached to my initial impression of her character (back before canon had any intention of revisiting her) and maybe a bit spoiled by continuities which happened to hit and stick to it. And again the setting's going to influence things; if we can have a Twilight who continues to use a skill or technique past her first vague grasp of it instead of immediately moving on we can certainly have a Trixie who hasn't picked up the obsessive, perfectionistic practice habits of a stage magician and thus hasn't learned their basic lesson - that half the point of practicing your tricks is to overpractice and get used to them failing you so you have at least a sketchy idea what you'll do when they fail during a show.

It does work, though I stand by my belief the EQG Trixie would feel the urge to smack a Trixie who let simply having magic get in the way of attaining pride in being Trixie. Weird as the preceding sentence reads looking back at it. And I'd expect the pony Trixie could mouth-throw a card, has some idea from traveling how her peers with paws or hands manage things, and knows a selection of tricks that don't require a working horn for those times illness or massive headache can't be allowed to get in the way of earning. Of course, pony Trixie's an adult and adolescence in attitude if not age is very integral to the setup here. And both Trixies might also like a Trixie for bring actively dedicated to protecting the populace.

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