There's Always Money in the Cookie Stand
The two pulled up to the front of the school just before the arrival of dawn. Sunset parked off the curb and Twilight carried the construction supplies they had loaded into the trunk. Half an hour later they had a sales stand set up, two meters tall and just as wide, right next to the still-shattered statue.
Twilight staked a sign into the grass and straightened it.
Cookies!
6/1$
16/2$
She walked over to where Sunset was loading boxes of cookies out behind the stand, "It was really nice of Pinkie to make us all these cookies."
Sunset smiled, "I just asked her for four thousand cookies. They were in my car by the end of the day. She never asked what they were for."
Twilight inspected Sunset's work. Sunset had constructed a wall of cookie boxes that blocked off a third wall with the stand and the mirror. No-one from the street would be able to see anything they did around the portal.
"Are you sure this is going to work? It violates fundamental conservation of energy! I mean, the output the portal would have to produce to generate new matter in sufficient supply to-"
"I'm sure. We've talked this circle before, Twilight. It's equestrian magic. It doesn't work the same as standard physics. Just be glad it does. The cookies certainly aren't going to pay for that lab of yours."
Twilight set up her station, just in case anyone actually wanted to buy any cookies. Assuming anyone drove by the school at all six days before Christmas. She started to turn around, before thinking better and snapped back forward, "Are you ready back there? Do you need anything else?"
Sunset checked over their visual barrier one more time, "I'm fine. Thanks. I can get started now."
After one last sweep of their defenses, Sunset quickly stripped off her clothes. The brisk winter winds brushed her skin. She shivered.
Twilight almost turned around again, "Are you ok?"
Sunset rubbed her hands on her arms and nodded vigorously, "Yeah. I've just never been outdoors in winter without hair or clothing before. It's cold."
Just then a young man in a cashmere coat walked up to the stand.
Twilight turned her attention to the unexpected complication, "Hello sir. Would you like to buy some cookies?"
Sunset braced herself for the portal shock and stepped through.
The customer answered in a Scottish accent, "Isn't it a little late in the year for you to still be at school?"
Twilight kept up her smile, "Yes, yes it is. The school just seemed like such a prime location to set up my stand."
The two individuals glanced around briefly at the street. Besides themselves, not a soul occupied any line of sight they could choose.
The man turned back, "Yes, quite so."
Twilight wondered why she hadn't heard Sunset come back through yet.
Sunset Shimmer arrived on the other side of the mirror. She allowed herself a moment to smile at the familiarity of her pony body. Four legs, a tail, and most importantly a horn that let her feel the magic of the world around her.
"Sunset?"
The pony in question instantly looked up to see what - no - who had made the noise. She saw Princess Twilight Sparkle. She sat, and stared. And then she sat some more.
"What are you doing in Equestria? Is there something wrong at CHS?"
Sunset stood up on four legs, "No, nothing's wrong."
There was a pause as Twilight waited for the response to finish.
"Not that I'm complaining, but why are you here then? You don't usually come through for personal matters."
Sunset recovered from the last of her shock, "You're right. I don't. I was just coming through to... conduct an experiment I thought of that requires magic."
The princess grinned, "Oh! Well don't let me stop you. I was just reading the works of Hippo Cratese. Father of the modern healing charm, and all that. You know he and his daughter ended the Hippopotamid-Draconic War a thousand years ago? Quite a fascinating story, really."
Sunset sat back down and readied herself for several minutes of hearing the story.
"...and the griffons were forced to mediate between the factions while Cratese was free to go save the dragons who had been captured by Lord Pygmy...
"...But the griffons had actually hidden inside the siege weapon so that when it was stolen from the alliance camp, they could know exactly where the dragons had been keeping their army..."
Look, if Sunset was being entirely honest, she only listened to the first thirty seconds. She'd already read hippopotamus history. And if she was being entirely honest, she had considered just bolting back through the portal without explanation over a dozen times by this point. But she also knew that she was still a former enemy of Equestria. She knew what had happened with Discord and Tirek and knew that she couldn't afford to act suspicious.
"Hey, Twi?"
The alicorn stopped, "Yeah?"
Sunset smiled apologetically, "I've got to get back to earth."
Twilight nodded, "Oh of course. I'm sorry. But, wait... what about your experiment?"
Sunset blinked, "Right. The experiment I came here to perform. You know what? I forgot one of the ingredients back in my car. Give me just a minute. You go ahead and get back to your reading."
Twilight yawned, "Now that you mention it, it is getting a bit late. I should hit the hay. I'll visit again soon, ok?"
"Sure. I'll look forward to it. Night."
Twilight left. Just as Sunset was about to return through the portal, she realized how odd it was that it was night in Equestria now when it was still morning at CHS. Mystery for another time, she supposed.
When she arrived back at the cookie stand, Sunset was wearing a full set of clothes, just as she had predicted. She looked down and confirmed that her old set of clothes was still lying in the grass next to the mirror.
She heard a man's voice from in front of the stand, "Did you hear that?"
Twilight had in fact heard Sunset return, "Hear what, Mr. Smith?"
The Scottish man tried to look past her into the back of the stand, "I thought I heard a whooosh. Did you hear a whooosh?"
Twilight shook her head, "No, Mr. Smith. I most certainly did not hear a whooosh."
Sunset began to strip down again. She noted that these clothes were different from the ones she had come through with the first time. It would be interesting to find out if it was random or if there was a pattern to it. She jumped back through just as the cold started to get to her.
The customer grinned at Twilight, "Please, call me John. Only my daughter calls me Mister Smith."
Twilight strained to keep up her own smile, "Right then. So, John, did you want to buy any cookies? We have chocolate, spicy chocolate, vanilla carrot, coco choco, mystery nut, and regular."
John Smith leaned back and bounced on his heels, "Are there any nuts in the mystery nut? I just recently became very allergic."
A whooosh sounded from behind the stand.
Twilight gritted her teeth slightly, "The mystery nut cookies do have nuts actually. I think the coco choco and vanilla carrot may also have nuts."
Whooosh.
Mister Smith scratched his chin, "So that leaves chocolate, spicy chocolate, and regular?"
Whooosh.
"Or the fire surprise variety pack, which contains mostly chocolate with a few spicy chocolate scattered randomly."
Whooosh.
"Oh that is brilliant! Who came up with that? I'll take a dozen boxes of those."
Whooosh.
Twilight turned carefully toward the wall of boxes, without facing the mirror as to allow Sunset some degree of decency, "Is that the sixteen for two box?"
Sunset, meanwhile, was staying as close to the mirror and as low down as she could to avoid being seen through the currently unobstructed counter window. She scooped up all the copies of clothing she could reach as well.
"Yes please. You can never have too many cookies. A cookie saved my life once, actually."
When Twilight turned back to the counter, there was a very naked Sunset hiding in the corner holding a pile of skirts and tops and bras. She calmly placed the boxes on the counter, "Here you are. A dozen boxes of fire surprise."
Sunset dropped her pile of clothes and darted back through the portal.
John stopped counting bills abruptly, "Ok, seriously. What's that sound? You can't have missed it that time."
Whooosh.
"Maybe it's the wind?"
John shook his head, "I was a weather analyst for fifteen years and I never heard wind that sounded like that."
Whooosh.
"There it is again! Do you know what it sounds like to me?"
"What's that?"
Whooosh.
"A portal."
Twilight froze.
"You know, like in the Valve game? Aperture Science. GLaDOS?"
"I've never played it."
Whooosh.
"There it is again. Did you hear it?"
Whooosh.
"One of life's great mysteries I suppose."
Twilight spotted a lone piece of underwear rolling across the pavement behind Mister Smith.
The man picked up his purchases and started to turn away, "Alright. I'll see you around probably, eventually. Have a nice day."
Whooosh.
"Would you like a bag for those?"
"Yes, thank you that would be-" Whooosh "-Hey Twilight I think we should..."
The three stood there in silence for several seconds.
Twilight broke the ice, "John, this is Sunset Shimmer, my... assistant."
Sunset waved through the window.
Mister Smith set his boxes back down and nodded in greeting, "Assistant... really. So what does she do?"
Twilight and Sunset spoke simultaniously,
"Sorry?"
"Sorry?"
"I mean no offense, it's just Twilight mans the counter. Twilight manages the stock. Twilight handles the money. So, Sunset, what do you do?"
Sunset's eyes flicked over to the massive wall of boxes she had built, "I... baked the cookies. I hope you like them."
He outreached for a handshake with a huge grin, "Always a pleasure. Was the variety pack your idea? Because that's just brilliant! I love it!"
She took his hand and then was shaken enough to immediately regret it, "Yes. It was. It was my idea. Yes it was. I'm glad you liked it." She looked around her for inspiration again, "I thought of it while I was taking my clothes off."
She cursed the large pile of discarded fabric at her feet.
John Smith looked at her like she had just said something just as awkward as what she had just said.
Twilight handed him a paper bag, "Thank you for coming. I hope to see you here again soon."
He took the chance to end the silence gladly, "Thank you. I think I probably will come here again."
The two girls watched to make sure that the man walked all the way away and rounded the corner out of sight. Then the watched the corner for several more seconds just to make sure he was really gone. Then Twilight kept watching for a while more.
Sunset got back to work.
Whooosh.
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Just what are they going to use all that clothing for?
I still have no idea what they're planning to do with the portal and they better think of a better way to shut Princess Twi up...forced sedation perhaps?
This could use a chapter 2
I wonder if they discussed with Rarity in order to sell their products...
6882766
presumably they'll sell them
The only problem I have is how the text is different colors. It is a bit distracting. Just add the "Twilight said" or "Sunset blinked" tags.
I liked it. You got my blessing for a Chapter two.
Yes what the heck are they doing? I'm very very confused now.
6883072
My interpretation was that each time Sunset goes back and forth through the portal she gets a new set of clothes. I think the goal is to sell the clothes to make money for Twilight's lab.
6883101
..............Ok, but wouldn't it be easier if she well...Went back for a short bit and looked for some gems with her magic, maybe she doesn;t have the talent Rarity has for locating them.
but she can find a few small gems worth couple hundred or sell them for a few bits Solid gold coins i may add and bring that back?
6883125
Maybe . . . but what they're doing is pretty efficient too. If all you gotta do is step through the portal, become a pony, and step back through and become a human with a new set of clothes, then one would have a pretty impressive mountain of clothing in a relatively short amount of time. (Assuming you take the old clothes off to make room for the new set).
It also depends on the quality of clothing that is being generated here. If they're getting something that's little better then rags. Then your way is better. But if they're getting something that JCPenny would be proud to sell, then I'd probably be doing what Sunset is doing.
Sunset is violating several laws of physics, but as long as it doesn't end up conjuring a black hole I'm fine with that. Plus, free clothes and free money.
6883125
The problem there is that things are translated when they go through the portal. They have no idea what gems would be on the other end. They might transform into low-numbered bills, or muffins, or hairclips, or coal. But the odds of them staying gems seems rather low, considering the scarcity of giant technicolor crystal on earth. It might be worth testing at some point, but for a quick and reliable income, the "something from nothing" is probably the best way to go.
6883011
I'm not sure how I feel about the multicolor text myself. I was experimenting with the new format. To be honest, most of the reason it is that way is for the sake of this gag here:
"Yes, thank you that would be-" Whooosh "-Hey Twilight I think we should..."
which was sorta the punchline of the whole fic. That sort of rapid context, to where you're figuring out what exactly happened at the same time that the characters are, isn't normally possible when what's happening has to be outright described.
John Smith is the generic name The Doctor always used, and the way he said he recently acquired an allergy to nuts and his first thought on what the noise was (a portal), leads me to believe he's a freshly regenerated Doctor. If that's true, than it's a nice cameo. Also, I approve a Chapter two.
6883563
He's also Scottish, like David Tennant is IRL. He wears a cashmere coat just like Ten used to. And his dialogue is TARDIS blue. He's also a "young man" who was a weather analyst for fifteen years at some point past-tense. And a cookie once saved his life. The reference is very intentional.
( =
6883609 I'm only familiar with New Who, so when was The Doctor a weather analyst?
6883616
As far as I know he wasn't one onscreen, but unless Mister Smith looks a lot younger than he is he can't have had any job for fifteen years. The phrase "A young man..." would generally only be used to refer to the early-to-mid twenties range. Thirty at the oldest. 30 - 15 = 15 which means he'd have been tracking weather patterns in middle school.
Unless he's a Timelord, and doesn't age.
Actually, it's canon to Doctor Who that Time Lords do age, they're just really long lived. My theory is that TARDISes have a field that prevents aging while aboard, since the only times The Doctor, or any Time Lord, didn't age, was on ship. But that's not here nor there. I hope to see either a chapter 2 or a sequel to this story.
Hmm... Let's hope the clothes don't come from Sunset's pony hair? Well, if they do, she'll swiftly find out...
6883663
Timelords age, but they don't show it physically.
This we know to be a canon fact.
It's been established that they do eventually die from age, and in a few episodes the Doctor has been shown as having lived for a century or two between his appearances (IE, the Silence episodes).
Additionally, the doctor is barely a millennium old (at least, his body is about that old).
His first iteration (the first doctor played by William Hartnell from the 1960's series) was an old man.
Then, the Doctor spends several centuries in his 11th body (played by Matt Smith), yet he didn't appear to have aged a day.
So we know that he didn't (noticably) age physically for about two entire centuries.
Obviously he couldn't have reached the physical appearance of a 70 something year old man (in human aging) in such a short life span of about 800 years (the approximate age of the doctor when we first see him) if 200 years was so little a time that in his 11th regeneration he didn't appear to have aged in the slightest.
This leads you to the obvious conclusion that a timelord's body doesn't age physically like ours.
But the show has confirmed that timelords DO die from old age eventually.
So the way I figure it, eventually their bodies reach a point where they're breaking down (in some form or another, though we can't tell from simply looking at them), and their body requires them to regenerate (I doubt they just grow ill and drop dead only to then start regenerating, it just makes more sense that they are simply forced to use a regeneration).
And eventually, they run out of regenerations, and they do finally die from a lack of regenerative ability.
The timelord homeworld has a naturally occurring rip in time and space which was the inspiration for timelords to make the heart of the TARDISes, and that's what gave them their regenerative abilities.
So if the main part of what makes a timelord a timelord is present on their home planet, it would make sense that they would age the same on Galifrey as they would in a tardis.
Also, if timelords ~Hell, ANY mortal species that can die from old age~ found a technology that stopped physical aging, they'd find some way somehow to make sure the entire planet had that effect so that they would become effectively immortal (well, more precisely, "ageless", but you get what I'm saying).
Even if they couldn't cover the entirety of the planet, you know for an absolute certainty that they'd make every home, office, public building, mail house, out house, and hen house in the same manner as they make a tardis so everywhere they went would have that same energy field or what-have-you that would stop them from aging.
6883125
The biggest flaw in that get-rich-quick scheme idea is that they're all the exact same size.
Even selling them online:
There can't be THAT many people who are going to buy from an outfit that sells only one size of womens clothes, yet for some reason sells not just tops and skirts, but also womens underwear (again, in only one size and cup size).
6884164 Actually, as of the Season 7 Christmas episode, The Doctor, I believe, is over two millennia old, and in that one, he was shown as an old man, dying of old age. The only reason he survived was because the Time Lords were convinced to renew his regeneration cycle, causing him to regenerate from old age.
"Let's sell a billion bras of the exact same size!"
Not exactly a great plan, but an interesting idea.
Should you do a chaper 2? Yes, I'd love to see what Sunset's planning.
6884164
6884496
Time lords can spend 1,000 (and according to some sources 10,000) years in a single incarnation before having to regenerate. The only reason the doctor was dying after only 2000 years old (if that) was because he blew through all of his regenerations and had to age until he died of old age or just died because he had no regenerations left. Time lords by default regenerate when they get to old or are injured but if they die from their injuries or refuse to regenerate (the master)the regeneration isn't used and the time lord dies. If the regeneration cycle starts then the time lord can be temporarily immortal (River Song) but to put it simply there is no way to tell if time lord aging is constant and according to what is shown of the 10th and 11th doctor (David Tennant and Matt Smith ) it isn't. The 10th was aged 900 years and looked like he should have been dead centuries earlier but the 11th could have aged double that before looking like just an old man. They age much slower than humans but they aren't aging at a constant and the untempered schism no longer alters their life span. It caused the regenerations and extended life span due to exposure (again River Song) but any more exposure wouldn't extend their lives anymore and any side effects (regenerations ) are genetic as shown by the episode The Doctors daughter
6886020
I always thought that they should have said that when Rose Tyler got god-like power over the universe itself and made Jack Harkness immortal, they should have revealed later that she also reset the Doctor's regenerations from having used 9 (at the time) to zero (like a timelord's first life when born).
It's clever, it would buy the franchise another 13 doctors minimum, and virtually NO ONE would have seen it coming.
This was a clever premise but you wasted it. The way you've written it, most of the story has nothing to do with the interesting premise and instead is a joke about people talking that goes on entirely too long. You have Twilight babbling at length, and once you finally get past that you have some random guy babbling at length.
And then suddenly the story is over.
Remove the people babbling and there isn't much story left.
6887284
I'm with this guy. That was entirely horrible. I'm not even sure what it actually is about. The entire thing reads like a Monty Python skit rather than a story, except not actually funny.
Well, If nothing else, Sunset now has a new wardrobe.
6884191
Maybe she was going to sell them in Japan
Great idea about the portal, very boring execution.
I was going to read this, then I found the coloured text which was impossible to read.
I really enjoyed this story and I hope there is more soon.
The colored text made it really hard to read, but overall, I liked it. What's Sunset really up to here?
The colored dialogue made things a little hard to read, but otherwise this was an enjoyable read. Granted, unless Sunset is getting designer clothes every time she steps through, she and Twilight be better off going back to Equestria, getting a job, work for a few hours, get some cheap gems (in that dimension), and come back through and sell for massive profit.
Granted, this wouldn't be as noticeable or put someone on a watch list, so-eh. It works.
6882766 Well, it's made of a very high quality linen. So what they plan to do is take them to pieces, wash out the dye, press them into sheets, and go into the book publishing business. Profit!
Please tell me you decided to do a chapter two.
Havent read this yet, but that chapter title...
vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/mlpfanart/images/a/a4/Luna_saw_what_you_did_there.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20121219171810
6886055 you expect moffat to be clever about something he made up a regeneration just so he could be the one to handle this big story of the doctor getting a new cycle
good story do a 2nc chapter and have the doctor find the portal
I would love to see how this scheme plays out so if you have a chapter two I would certainly like to see it. Perhaps even a chapter three.
6887924
I figured it out.suNset went to Equestria and basically used a duplication spell on cookies repeatedly.And near the end decided she wanted some extra clothes so did that too.
Sure is an odd one.
Ok, now I see what' she's doing now in regards to why she stripped naked earlier.
Many of those cookies actually sound quite good. 🤤
I find that hard to believe.
Phew, that was a close one.