• Member Since 12th Sep, 2015
  • offline last seen Feb 23rd, 2016

MLPRainbowHeart


Hello! I'm just your average 12 year MLP lover pega-sister! I really enjoy making stories and being happy! I LOOVE reading and giving a thumbs up. :)

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Screwball and Mothball's marriage is great! But life is gonna change after they find out about their new foal. Mothball and Screwball are new in this situation. Not only them will have bumps in the road, but their children too. Join them through their adventures and problems. This is my first story I really hope you like it!

Amazing cover art by: Sakura

Special thanks to: Mystic in Shadows for editing ^^

Chapters (21)
Comments ( 217 )

Hello I hope you like this! Any thoughts or changes you want? Feel free to comment!:raritywink:

Btw, I know I have errors but I don't know where so plz tell me.:ajsmug:

Plz upload more i love it and its a sequel

Plz upload more i love it and its a sequel

hurted

It still hurt. Hurted is not a word.

Also what song is Screwball singing or it is made up?

a pleasant read and is disneyfanataic23 aware of this?

Okay, this looks promising, I haven't read this yet. But did DisneyFanatic give you her permission?

I was going to give you a list of all your errors but then I decided: what the heck? Ill be nice today.
also I'm lazy :twilightsheepish:

You need to brush up on the diologue a bit, but pretty good.

What's with the random capitalization? Just completely random words are capitalized all over.

Okay peoplr first of all, The random capitalization is something like: When they try to say something louder, or it is just an error, ok? And Thx for telling me that hurted is not a word. I live in Puerto Rico which is a spanish place. Even if I'm good with english I'm still working on it. Another of all of the complains is if DF is okay with this, honeslty Idk, I asked her but she didn't answer, I told her if she wasn't okay with this I would just delete this. You can check in her profile, I talked with her. Thanks Very much. And I'm getting kinda pissed of with that. I just want a: Great Job! I hope DF let's you! But all I get is complains..:ajsleepy:

6628922 Thank you really, but tell me it is ok. And remember maybe it's error because I'm not perfect or errors because english is not my main language.:twilightsheepish:

6628834 Thanks, And for that question read my earlier coment:scootangel:

6628569 Thanks!:pinkiehappy: But remember, if Disney Fanatic is not okay with this, I will have to delete it.:ajsleepy:

6628569 Hello, thx for your support. And I'm afraid I cant continue this until DF tells me if she is okay with this or not

6630423 Mate, I'm just letting you know. For emphasis, you might want to capitalize the WHOLE word. And even then, the preferred method for emphasis is to italicize anything you want emphasized. The only things that should be capitalized are proper nouns and the starts of sentences.

6630601 Thank you. And don't worry I'm not angry at you, it's just that I have been going through a lot. And really Thank you for the advice

Hello People!!!! For people asking if DF is okay with this, she is. And plz enjoy:pinkiehappy:

6630707 Lol I know i talked a lot :derpytongue2: But to answer your question, she did let me.

6630423 Well, while I like what's I've seen so far, you writing could use some sprucing up

6630871 Oh and, Do you want to help me with it? Like I said, I live in Puerto Rico which is a spanish place. I'm good at english but I still need to work on it

6631060 Sure...Hey... you know, if you need an editor or proofreader for the current chapters I could try to help, if you wanted me too.

Of Course! Just how can I let you edit it? Lol I'm kinda new at this writing thing.

6631068 Oh and, I just uploaded a new chapter, it is short but next one is gonna be a little bit longer, and about Screwy's pregnancy.

6628649 Can you tell me were that sentence is? Can't find it:twilightblush:

6631078 Easy, I'll just copy down you're writing, then send it to you once I'm done editing.
Heh, no offense, but it kinda shows. I've been writing for years, so

6630652 DANKE SCHON, FOR HEEDING THE ADVICE OF DAS GRAMMAR NAZI!

SIEG HYPHEN!

6631109

WELL EXCUSE ME FOR TRYING TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH MY DAU---" He started. He stopped when he felt a hammer hit him. It was not so hard but it still hurted.

Yay The pregnancy is finally starting!:pinkiehappy: It is ok but why was this chapter short?:duck: Some misspelling here and there but can forgive. But there are two things I'm confused about

When Screwy came out to bathroom he was relaxed.

So when Screw Ball went into the bathroom, She became a guy:rainbowhuh:?

And the other one is the Chapter is called 'I'm Pregnant?! Twins!?' yet they are now finding out about the pregnancy and have no clue if they have one child or two. Also you forgot the quotation mark in between I and M

Did you asked DisneyFanatic2346 to write this?

"HOW.. HOW DARE YOU!?!? I'M BIG NOW AND.. AND. PRIVACY DAD AND AHHHHH JUST LEAVE!!!!!" She said getting even more red. He laughed and poofed.

eh. I feel like screwball is out of character many times during this chapter. If you are doing Screwball from bride of discord, i think she wouldn't exactly 'freak out' about her dad being there. She would probably be annoyed a little bit and maybe roll her eyes. Also, Discord seems like he is still freaking out about his daughter being with someone even though they're married. If anything, you should make him supportive and maybe even give him and Fluttershy some moments. Another thing, if you want a character to freak out about something in a loud way, don't use too many exclamation points and question marks. All caps isn't the best idea either.

" Sure?" He asked again. She nodded again. There was an akward silence for some minutes. Screwball finished that akward silence.

You would spell that awkward.

6634201 Thank you, and This chapter was so short Because I just wanted to do Screwball's pregnancy in there. And I HAD to go out with my family.:derpytongue2:
What you said:

When Screwball came out of the bathroom he was relaxed.

In This scene we were already talking about Discord. But I Will Fix that. Also, about the title, if you read the chapter, they find out she is pregnant. And in the same chapter they find out she is having twins. So that is why the title says twins. If you Want me to change it just say it.:raritywink:

6635436 Lol Thanks, as I said before I don't speak english were I live.:pinkiehappy:

6635434 Thank you for the idea. I Will Fix what Screwball said. But Discord at first was not so sure about his daughter marrying him, then he was. But he HAD a big smile in his face when he scared Mothball, so he is just being Discord. It is not really to spy. And I'm planning to give Fluttershy some scenes during Screwball's pregnancy. About Screwball's "anger" she doesnt like her dad spying on her. ( p.s.: it needs drama ) :derpytongue2:

6634201 oh God! I know what happened here! I'm so so sorry ! I forgot to save the story when I uploaded it:facehoof: so I have to write it again, so wait for This chapter again

6635436 HI! This chapter has Been removed, I Will do it longer Because I forgot to save it:facehoof:

6646796 sorry that was a little rude the way i said it, i just meant its a little annoying for me when someone dosent use a word or spell a word correctly but i do it to (i mean you can see them here) sooo i really dont know why it annoys me, but other than spelling errors the story is really good

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