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Magic Man


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Weevil and Echo are a married changeling couple who, amongst thousands of others at a time of mass migration, have left the Changeling Kingdom in search of a better life in Equestria, the so-called 'land of love, tolerance and opportunity'. Now Equestrian citizens and living in Six Points, a diverse and deprived district in Lower Manehattan, Weevil and Echo have opened their own business and are trying their best to raise their family and simply live their lives

Of course, raising a family is never easy wherever you live, especially in this bizarre urban jungle populated by friends, enemies, and all out crazies. But through it all, Weevil keeps a level head, an unwavering dedication to his friends and family and his values, and by doing so will come out on top out of whatever this Celestia-forsaken city throws at him.

Hopefully.

Edited by Chaodiurn and First_Down.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 116 )

This story is relative to my interests.

I expect more good work in the future, my good friend.

This is nice. Write moar. Just a couple of questions tho:
1) Why are changelings azn?
2) Why do they speak japanese?
3) Is this your own headcanon, or is it based off what little we've seen in the show/comic?

3423420 Read Maternal Instincts for your answers. It's the Pupaverse.

The ENF must be like the EDL in the UK-a pain in the ass. I really like this, it's ordinariness makes it new.:ajsmug:

Figured I'd fave this both here and on DA.
Again, great work!

Just a little thing: " sporting a mauve man and eyes" I think you missed an E

Interesting idea. I like the world that's being built here.

Although there are some minor errors like "baby was hatched" or word choice like "depressing darkness" seems a bit strong for the mood you're setting

Will this ever be continued? Some damn interesting world-building, characters and situations you have going here (it's pretty much original fiction rather than fanfiction). So much so that I'm rooting for this one more than maternal instinct.

3428502
You misunderstand what the EDL is my friend. I'm a large supporter because I agree with the founders views regarding extremism. Fact is alcohol dependent yobs also get the wrong impression. They join up, then make that impression into the reality. This ENF just seems to be extremist neo-nazi from the outset.

Comment posted by WrathOfGod519 deleted Dec 19th, 2013

3422620 Thank you, I assure you, I will deliver.

3422644 Thanks

3423420 Well, in my headcanon, I have based the Changeling culture off of Japan, mainly due to how Rebecca Dart, Chrysalis' designer, based her design off of horror manga.

3428502 Well, we all have our opinions on things like that.

3439693 Thanks, mate

3503428 Thanks for pointing that out.

3552658 It seems I'm not the only one.

3606648 Thanks, I glad you like it, and don't worry, I'm going to be reworking some parts of chapter to help set the right mood and work in some more comedic beats.

3618097 :heart: Right back at you, friend.

3652388 I assure you and all other readers that this is definitely going to continued. It is just that it's been taking some time what with writing Maternal Instinct and working at my job. Also, don't worry, there will definitely be characters and elements from the show that will weave their way in the story.

The next chapter is being worked on as we speak.

3652522

Also, don't worry

I was actually cool with it being an entirely separate work of fiction without any of the shows characters even mentioned except in passing. But whatever.

Learn this well, Echo-sama... you roll over folks like that, it's gonna come back and take a chunk out your overly ample flank... and don't be surprised when your formerly docile pushover beau grows a pair and dumps you for the sweet tempered and beautiful Pegasus mare next door

Echo's from a species where the ladies rule the roost. Male changelings like Weevil usually don't get such a dominating mare for a wife, but hey...she probably beat him up and dragged him to the alter (after he knocked her up, I'm guessing :pinkiecrazy:).

I wonder how close I am to the mark on that one?

Of course, there might have been a time they both were madly and happily in love with each other, but everyone knows how life changes things...like moving from the mother country to a strange land...

I find I like how Gilda is so laid back and chill in this story. She's not out to knock heads or do crap things to people...she's just hanging with her friends and just being herself without the stress of competing for a friend's attention. Love how you got her in this story, Magic Man.

I think we're going to find out Weevil is what Equestrian gals refer to as a 'ladies man stallion'. The sort of quiet, soft-spoken fellow the girls just gravitate towards...where as changeling girls would look at him and just go, "wuss".

3756737
well it makes for an entertaining story... heh :twilightblush:

3777267
The worst part.... when the hoof does fall, she'll no doubt stand there, stunned, and ask "Why?"

Reads last part....
was that scene based in the film Normit ( or norbit I cant remember)?

I can picture Eric cartman from southpark as bigmouth

Sweetie Belle? All grown up into an obnoxious teenager?

Well... it was bound to happen.

Love the new cover art, my friend.

This whole chapter is comedic gold...and you were worried you couldn't write comedy! You done did good!

Echo is proving to be a badass tiger mama who loves her stallion, isn't she?

I find it interesting that the changelings have their own stereotypes and speciesist moments.

What a colorful range of characters. And they are even more colorful than the technicolored ponies!:trixieshiftright:

OH COME ON SWEETE BELLE! You're better then this! {Also, why are protesters always drug dealing hippies? Can't normal people protest?:rainbowhuh:}...Wow, the ponies aren't looking so good so far, aren't they? But this is being told in the perspective of foreigners/migrants so that's to be expected.

Good story so far. Keep it up.

“Ma’am, ma’am! Step back!” One officer barked at Sweetie Belle who was waving her picket sign in his face. The college filly was clearly doped-up on more Poison Joke than she could handle. He held up a spray can to his face. “This is the mace that they use on Ursas, ma’am! And I will use it!”

“Screw you, pig—” Hsssss! She fell to the ground, covering her face and screaming in agony. “AAAIIIEEEEE! MY EYES! MY PRECIOUS GREEN EYYYES! AAAIIIEEEEE!”

Pro tip boys and girls! When the cops tell you to step off, it would behoove you not to act the stupid cunt. And calling them pigs will allow them just enough to bring a righteous beat down on your raggedy rabal rousing, honest hard worker stopping, stupid as a block of cheese ass, along with a night in jail for abusing your freedom of speech. Be glad he didn't put a riot baton to your empty head Sweetie. Really, didn't your parents... no, I guess they didn't, did they?

And Echo... well... Respect has gone up a few notches for you, but my point on rolling over folks still remains the same

That was a nice South Park recitation. I wonder how many people caught the Hey Arnold! reference?

OK, read through the entire story, and these are my thoughts.

As far as slice of life stories go this not only is a good example, but fits the bill a lot better then most stories. The text sometimes feels like it drifts too close to some real world reminders, but things are kept interesting by unusual characters in a setting that just doesn't exist anymore. It certainly is one of this story's strong points.

Where the story falls apart is with the protesters. The racist protesters come off as so dumb no-one would every support them except as part of a zani scheme or ironic joke, and the pro-diversity people come off as anochronistic embarassments. The shouts of "fascist!" are also grating because I actually know what fascism is.

What is Fascism? OK folks, it's history lesson time. Fascism is a political philosophy that while reviled and mocked today was extremely popular from its formation following World War I until the late 1930s, for obvious reasons. Fascism was founded by one Benito Mussolini, and was founded as a direct counter to communism, or more specifically, the Soviet Union. As it turns out fascism and communism are very very similar in terms of the policies that they advocate for, with the principal difference being that the fascisti thought that the commies were going to turn them into a Soviet satellite state (to be fair, they were probably right about that, it's kind of how the Soviets operated) and so sought to oppose them and anyone else who stood in their way by violent means -- the violence was a lesson they had learned in World War I, coming to believe that war was a purifying experience that brought people together and was the only way to get things done. Most of the world didn't see people being trampled though, all they saw were communist insurgents being pushed back and the economy getting back on track.

So, as you can imagine, seeing fascism used in a setting were there is no Soviet Union, no Great War-like event, no armed communist uprisings, or even the Roman iconography to derive the word from is quite annoying. Words have origin stories, darnit! You just can't shove modern lingo into places it doesn't belong. :twilightangry2:

4469469 Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

First of all, naturally, I'm glad to hear you like the story's slice-of-life aspect. The story is definitely meant to be slice-of-life with comedy and some satire thrown in, though I can understand where I kinda make them... too human in places, I suppose?

Now, onto the criticism regarding the protest scenes... I will admit I do very much see your point and I agree the protesters scenes could do with going back and working on. The original intent was to try and mock and satirize a lot of protesters in general, including on all sides. I live in Britain and have seen a lot of protests, particularly the more recent EDL (English Defence League) and UAF (Unite Against Fascism - though their perception of actual fascism is more modern than its true historical sense) marches, and while I may find myself on the latter’s side out of the two, I do tend to find certain individuals on both sides as obnoxious as the other. However, I do agree that there is a line that makes them too ridiculous to take somewhat seriously/credibly and it could do with reeling back quite a bit.

Now regarding the ‘fascism’ aspect, as a guy who studied history and politics, as well as the actual topic of fascism in those subjects (particularly about Mussolini and Hitler), I want to assure you I too understand its meaning and origins. However, the thing is, the use of the word ‘fascist’ here (besides of simply writing ‘racist’ several dozen times) is this story is really meant to be sort of a jab at its modern usage; how many people fling it and words like around nowadays as an insult, a method of attacking someone else’s political views. Now sure, some of those people and the National Front here’s views may indeed have actual fascistic tendencies, but the word and others to the same effect have been overused so much so these days, to the point they’re losing their true meanings, e.g. when people called President George Bush a ‘Nazi’ over the Iraq war.

BUT with that said, again I do see your point, and agree there is indeed the fact it is a human word with a historical background and connotations and in the pony world where there wasn’t those historical events as you mentioned, I can see how it does stand out and rub people in a bad way.

I appreciate you being bluntly honest with your opinions on my story so far and I am going to do all my best to work on and improve it where necessary. And even then, the political aspect isn’t really going to play that much of a major role in the rest of the story, with greater focus more on the family and their slice-of-life tales in the city. I sincerely hope you continue reading the story, if for that aspect.

4475945
I appreciate your candor as well.

I can see where European politics would make you seek a parody, but at the same time it's straining believability a bit. On the one hand the racist blokes seem to be terminally stupid (misspelled signs, the 30% crime figure, etc.), but on the other hand they're presenting themselves well like they've got a someone reasonable head on their shoulders (the nice clothes and good hygiene give this impression mostly). By that same token their opposition endears themselves to the reader by having similar positions to most Western readers and seeming to present themselves better (the properly spelled signs), but at the same time up close they seem to be a bunch of drugged up idiots straight from our time period. To make a long story short, they seem to be a pair of cognitive dissonance causing distractions.

Then again, they can't have been included just for the parody potential. Hmm, perhaps Sweetie Belle and/or Babs is going to get involved in the story of this family somehow?

I'll just have to eagerly lie in wait for the next update to find out, won't it? :pinkiehappy:

Adding to my read list. Expect a bit of a review after I get at chapter 1 and on:pinkiehappy:

4475945
4469469

As a British, maybe Magic Man remember this:

img.4plebs.org/boards/pol/image/1398/69/1398699448750.jpg

:ajbemused::facehoof:
Conclussion: never underestimate bigots and fanatics´ capacity for ignorance, stupidity and cognitive dissonance. It may surpass the imagination of even most daring comedian.

P.E: next time you want to make sure the reader understand the satire, make the protester say "RABBLE, RABBLE, RABBLE!" loud and clear. Thanks :pinkiehappy:

4551601 Ah, yes... that nasty lot. I'm aware of them, indeed. Well, whilst the political side of this story will put to aside for the time being, when I do go back to explore it again, I may have to carefully address this kind of aspect in some way, shape or form.

Also, regarding the 'Rabble Rabble Rabble' part, hmmm... yeah, I think I'll definitely have to keep that in mind. Thanks.

And I hope you continue reading.

4551551 Hey mate, long time, no talk. Glad you like it and I look forward to your review.

"Land of opportunity my ass!"

Ahhh the moment I've been waiting for. Chapter 4!

Really nice job. I didn't recall any grammar mistakes or awkward sentences, so that's good. I love the tease with the egg hatching. I was really anticipating that moment. Twas worth the wait. \o/

Love seein how this chapter panned out. As always, you had a wonderful talent for bringing out the personalities of your characters.

Why must you tease us with that false alarm hatching? :fluttercry:
Then again, seeing as this arc is called "Growing Family"...

The leatherpantsing of changelings really is baffling.
Like the story well enough though, neat characterisation ideas for them but they are still changelings ie Windigoes specializing in other emotion/s.
We know from the show and comics what the changelings are like canonically though this is a fanfic obvs with it's own canon.
And it's all part of fanon of course, but I still see no reason to be flanderizing, leatherpantsing and "humanizing" them.

“... and that’s pretty much it. Afterwards, we had the Scaragowa Shogunate and the civil war, but that’s all you need to know now for modern changeling history. Any questions? No? Good.”

Yeah here's a question, what's the difference between changelings and Windigoes?
Oh there is no difference, because they are the exact same thing?
Why I'll be.
Two sides of the same coin, one got burned alive by love/friendship fire so it follows that the other ie changelings should be burned alive with hate fire.
Seems only fair, since that is what happened to the WG.
Or maybe Sombra should be given the task, he's pretty much hatred incarnate.
Sombra was made to be the scourge of changelings :heart: yay he really was if one thinks about it.

Like this;
th02.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2013/008/3/6/war_of_the_equestria_by_ziom05-d5quvbl.jpg
Yeah, get those changelings Sombra:heart: woohoo.

Will read, still ofcourse.

4551726 If your'e going to go back to the political side of it, any chance you can do it through Shroud at school? This is a great fic overall, but for me the cynical and weary overburdened public school teacher just trying to hold his classroom together is the most darkly humorous part of all, and I'd love to see that guy trying to give his students a lecture on current events.

I liked Bigmouth.....before he showed his stupidy!

Dat cover iz profi!

Why is this so prefect!? :rainbowlaugh:

When's next chapter gonna fall from heaven?

You know, I'm torn between questioning how his store can be so chaotic while having modern food storage systems, and amazement that they're still poor if they regularly get so many customers. (Though the same could be said for the Apple family. Seriously, how do they go from rich to broke so fast so often?)

Also, you know what this story reminds me of, especially the parts with Weevil? The synopsis to a novel I read a while ago (the synopsis, not the novel) called Seeing Calvin Coolidge in a Dream, in which a middle-aged Chinese immigrant becomes obsessed with the titular president and ends up trying to have an affair some lady from his past only to get chewed out by the ghost of President Coolidge for trying to cheat on his wife. In the last arc I could certainly see the beginnings of that in Weevil. (The affair, not seeing Calvin Coolidge's ghost, though that would be an interesting idea for a fic.)
4551601
Ah, but that's poor grammar, not poor spelling. :ajsmug:
4551726
I'd also suggest someone's speech consist entirely of descriptions. ("Sweeping declaration! Stacked evidence! Pause for effect. Shocking declaration!")

4534886 4562208 Regarding Babs and Sweetie Belle, hmm, well... yeah, best to wait and see.

Well, they're not poor, per say. They're certainly not rolling in the dough, but they're better off compared to the poverty quite a lot of immigrants there are facing. There are other factors that affect their monetary situation, which will be touched upon.

Hmm, that book sounds interesting with a well of possible ideas. I may give it a read some time in the future.

Also, thank you very much for posting my fic on forums.spacebattles.com.

4553401 Well, I assure you I don't intend to give the changelings any of the 'Draco in Leatherpants'. You should know I'm totally against the 'Draco in Leatherpants' tvtrope, especially when it comes to changelings. My aim here really is to portray the changelings as people, whilst avoiding some of the repeated pitfalls in some changeling fanfics that try to portray them in a positive/sympathetic light.

And those are rather interesting thoughts on changelings and windigoes.

Just came back to this and started rereading it, and was very pleased with the first chapter. I can see some changes you made that directly addressed the concerns I had, and the first chapter feels far stronger for it. Enough to warrant an upgrade from "read" to "fave."

Nice work. Echo is a much more likeable character now, and the whole story seems a bit more multi-sided. Nice job! The small changes you made have made quite a difference. I'm looking forward to being caught up.

4579670 Ah, well I wasn't trying to say that this story specifically leatherpantsed them... Not really.
That was more a comment on what the fandom as a whole is doing inregards to changelings. Or at least the parts of the fandom I have seen.
It's always something like "blahblah what Cadence and Shining did with the love shield spell at the end of the wedding episode was GENOCIDE!!! waahaaha waambulance gag and when told of all the changelings that died and were injured even though they only had to to it because of an unprovoked attack they would just feel awful oh of course puke and instantly forgive the changelings of all their wrongdoings and give them love like willing hosts to parasites:pinkiesick:.
Vomit, also forgetting that Chrysalis had planned (we can extrapolate this from what is shown) to let Cadence starve to death in the caves and then tried to make Twilight kill Cadence.

Seriously every single story, well with a miniscule nr of exceptions always does the exact same setup, when obviously what the ponies in the show would do if any changelings came back is say "yeah remember the Windigos? Now it is your turn", and then the ponies would burn the changelings or similar and then Equestria would be saved like it was from the Windigos:scootangel: yaay Harmony.

And the reason/excuse pluck the heartstrings for the invasion is always some variation of "we had to invade cause we were starving waahwaah, there was no time whinee whine we were dying, not our fault we are parasitical tumors given form", yeah well guess who all of that was also true for?
Windigos, and what became of them?
Friendship fire.
It all really grates on me, it's annoying/ly repetetive and overused, really boring and definitely not supported by show or comic fanon.

Anywho, sorry if I came across as targetting your story specifically, that really wasn't what I was trying to do:fluttershysad:.
Your story is doing it's own thing as a commentary on english politics I guess and telling about your version of Equestria in this story and I can respect that and like the story for what it is even as I'm kinda sick of changelings portrayel in the fandom at large.

Well, I assure you I don't intend to give the changelings any of the 'Draco in Leatherpants'. You should know I'm totally against the 'Draco in Leatherpants' tvtrope, especially when it comes to changelings. My aim here really is to portray the changelings as people, whilst avoiding some of the repeated pitfalls in some changeling fanfics that try to portray them in a positive/sympathetic light.

Good to hear you also dislike that kind of thing heh and again apologies wasn't targetting you or this particular story per say. And it does give me relief.
"And those are rather interesting thoughts on changelings and windigoes."
And thanks, I thought so too.

Personally I am more interested in Windigos, and would like to see the fandom explore them more not like befriending the ponies or anything perhapf even if that would be slightly more fresh and original than other stuff but maybe just seeing things from their perspective in the Hearths and Hooves play perhaps?
I don't know, just find Windigos more interesting the Changelings, personally:twilightblush: heheh,.
Anyway, like your story and eager for more.

4579670
I think there's a contradiction going on with how I'm imagining their home. Upstairs seems to be an impoverished urban apartment from the early 1920s (which fits with the setting and tone), but downstairs seems to be an almost modern convenience store. There's something strange and bizarre with that. Granted, much of Equestria is bizarre, but it's usually a consistently bizarre.

4599246
Sir, wendigoes are North American evil spirits who drive people to cannibalism so that they can posses them. They are so reprehensibly brutal and repulsive that few people would dare explore them. They are not creatures, they do not have a society, they are demons that feed upon the living and have the living feed upon each other when food is scarce, like in winter.

4610164 True, note also how the Windigos of Equestria are simply based on those and are not the exact same and spelled differently too.
And both are more interesting than changlings.

4612684
That really is poor reasoning. First of all, the wendigoes we see in the show are in play-form, they might not even exist in universe. Secondly, a quick check of Wikipedia shows that the wendigo name is also known as windigo, weendigo, windago, windiga, witiko, wihtikow, and numerous other variants including manaha, which makes sense since it's a word translated from several different languages.

Also, interest is totally personal and subjective, not fact.

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