When the Sonic Rainboom inspired Twilight Sparkle to pass her entrance exam, Princess Celestia knew that this was the one, the final element of Harmony, the filly prophecied to save her, and her sister, and the world from certain doom.
Princess Celestia made a terrible mistake.
She never even knew about the most magical unicorn in all of Equestria, because that filly was far away from Equestria, in a place where few ponies dared to tread. For Twilight Sparkle, the Sonic Rainboom was the greatest moment of her life, but for this filly, who was to become the world's only hope, it was the worst.
Chapters (11)
So QSF is a base ten hundred... You do like dropping these hints. :)
And apparently fewer letters can represent large numbers.
Oh, and the sun goes west to east across the sky. :)
And an interesting (and much less mysterious) bit about names. :)
Hm. Does this mean that Equus (my apologies if I'm misremembering the name you use for the planet) has a radius of only about 1311.4 kilometers? That's pretty small, though... Alternatively, perhaps their miles are not equal to our miles?
Oh, or maybe Trixie was referring to the diameter instead of half the circumference... That would make the radius about 2060 km, larger than Earth's moon and between Io and Callisto, according to a list I found on Wikipedia. Still, I'm not sure if I'm understanding this correctly.
Could also just be figurative language, but there's still the bit about precise distance...
...And oh dear...
Hmm.... Okay this kind of origin story for Trixie I haven't read yet. I mean this is the 1st time I read in fim Fiction that she accidently killed off her own parents.
I'm going to follow this story and see where it leads.
Oh jeez, ferret writing in first-person Trixie. This may be more than I could have ever hoped for.
I liked the casual digression on pony names, and the significance of them and how often they're changed. You're very good at treating stories as actual worlds.
Also, :<
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The base 4 number system is pretty obvious by now. As for that Q system...
...it's not appropriately dramatic for the stage.
And yes, look where Manehatten is relative to Ponyville on the map, and then watch the Cutie Mark Chronicles episode, noticing what young Applejack is seeing while she looks in the direction of Ponyville, from Manehatten.
Glad the name thing was interesting, even if I was sort of going for boastful and haughty. She's the kind of mare you just wish that you could hate.
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I'm sorry.
It had to be done though. Some stories just won't stay unwritten. That picture is years old, long overdue for someone to take that concept to its logical conclusion.
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re the secret:
...Oooookay then. :D
re the direction:
Oh, yes, well-spotted! Thanks. :)
I note that you didn't comment on the distance question, though. :)
"Glad the name thing was interesting, even if I was sort of going for boastful and haughty. She's the kind of mare you just wish that you could hate."
Oh, um, I'm afraid that I don't remember particularly getting that impression from her, sorry. I thought she was less dislike-provoking than that.
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Yes, it's one of the prime narrative point of view categories. Third-person Omniscient, Third-person Limited, Second-person Specific, Second-person Anon, First-person, and First-person Trixie. Have you never taken a lit course?
6482113
More like wish I could actually fawn over. Irrepressible confidence is lovely.
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It's just... Trixie's first person isn't exactly... first person. Even though it is?
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Well, I don't believe Trixie ever referred to the planet's diameter directly, but you could make some educated guesses. You shouldn't, but you could. Given Applejack could see Ponyville on the horizon, if Ponyville is 2200 miles away, and she's 20,000 feet up in a tower above sea level, that puts the the planet at about a third the size of the sun, with a diameter three times greater than Jupiter, at least. If she were that high on Earth, she could only see about 111 miles away, putting Ponyville in the nearby suburbs of NYC. Either way, Ponyville would be visible before the rainbow came, and it was not, so the fact remains that the Sonic Rainboom was pulling some shenanigans right there. Before the rainbow started screwing with the fabric of space, there were mountains on the horizon anyway, so telling the curvature of the planet was a good deal more difficult.
6482354
Ah, interesting; I hadn't even thought of that. I was looking at two things:
"Perhaps the only outpost of ponies in all directions, that precise distance away."
and
"as far away from the benevolent celestial princess's embrace as possible".
Why that precise distance, and how did she know? And as far away from one point on the planet as possible while still being on the planet? A possibility that suggests itself is an antipode.
Oh, and FIMFiction didn't notify me of your reply here; I saw it after reading the new chapter. Hopefully that doesn't lead to me missing anything.
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Wait, I don't think Second Person Anon is a real tense...
Anon's that green guy right
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Ah, so you think Princess Celestia is powerless to reach across the solar system? But no seriously, that's a sort of good nitpick I suppose. It's supposed to convey that ponies don't travel much farther than that, at least not known pony civilizations. It's the rough limit of how far away ponies can get from Celestia, before something eats them. Has little to do with the actual planet's diameter.
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Ah, thanks. :)
Oh lord it's that crazy Unicorn numbering system isn't it.
It double-happened to her!
I do hope she returns some day and slow-roasts her hometown...
I'm glad I'm tracking this story. So far it's really good.
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Don't worry, Trixie doesn't learn it until she gets to Canterlot, in a conveniently off camera scene so it still remains totally confusing!
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Thanks!
I like
Finally a good fic that puts down Twilight Sparkle. It was about time Trixie go to some respect.
Looking forwards to the layer chapters. Keep going!
Go f*ck yourself twilight.
Damn! Trixie killed off her own parents by accident. I guess filly Twilight would have done the same if nopony was around to turn them back from being potted plants.
First-person, too, which leads that extra authenticity to it. From the first paragraph it's pretty blatantly obvious she isn't just telling a story for acting but rather a part of her real life's story.
Hmm. So is this actually flat out AU for Trixie starting from pre-series (we don't really have much of a background for her so any past can be made up), or does it only deviate after a few seasons of the show? I can't really see Trixie with this kind of power ever needing the Alicorn Amulet, unless it was meant to refine her spells for greater effect instead of just a simple power boost.
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Boy are you not gonna like all the lesbo Twixie smooching in chapter 3.
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It was sort of rather terrifying what might have happened if the princess hadn't intervened and Twilight just kept going. It's a metaphor for all those bright minds out there who burned out because they were neglected by society, until they were reduced to writing my little pony fanfiction for a special talent.
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Every fanfiction is an AU.
"That she was a young filly with no knowledge of medicine or brewing, but one tincture was labeled propanoia and it combatted the ill symptoms far better than the continuous drain on her magic could manage."
Hm... Is that sentence actually properly structured? I think something may have slipped. Ought that "that" at the beginning to not be there, perhaps?
This continues to be an interesting story. :)
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"Was she a little filly with no things? That she was. That she was." was sort of what I was thinking. It did strike me too though, as a bit abrasive.
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Hm, I don't think that "abrasive" is quite how I would describe it. ...Discordant, maybe? The sentence does not for me flow, and I am doubting that it is grammatically correct. Sorry.
"I didn't understood"
Deliberate?
Such a pleasant mare, this one.
And a pleasant place she runs.
And I find myself rather agreeing with the author's note, yes. :)
6536029
Trixie didn't word good at the time, sorry.
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Oh, no problem; just thought I'd make sure. :)
Poor Trixie. A life of pain awaits her.
All that time living in the wilds will surely help her out though as she wanders the land. Easy to survive off the land if you've been forced to do it already. Not to mention that equines have multiple stomachs and can create more of the essential nutrients and vitamins they need than humans can.
No wonder Trixie was so f'ed up if that was where the shipped her off to.
Time to make use of illusions again to run away.
6547464
I'll tell you one thing, solid stone walls cannot be deceived.
"unicorns even foals were"
"unicorns, even foals, were"?
And getting more happy and uplifting all the time, this story! :D
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Good catch! Me and commas just, don't get along.
And yeah, let's see... "Gore Tragedy Sad Dark....no Comedy"
Yep, Trixie is screeeeeeeeewed
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Thanks.
...Oh. Hm. And speaking of the tags, I just noticed that Nightmare Moon seems to be among them. Interesting... :)
Maaaaan.
While I realise we need some Trixie angst before we get to the real meat of the story, it's still so painful to read Trixie's remembrances of her fillyhood years. Twilight's fillyhood got nuttin' on this.
I suppose if Trixie hasn't exorcised all her ghosts from the orphanage by the time she grows up, she could always develop a mind meld spell to share her memories of the place. It'd probably leave most ponies staggering afterwards just like matron Night Tide's spell.
So very uplifting! :D
...Though I suppose it actually is a wee bit uplifting; she has, at least, escaped that particular bad situation.
Wait is trixie blind still? I ask that because Numerous times it says that she can see.
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She suffered magic blindness from the overload, but recovered in a few weeks. Very scary weeks, but her eyes got better. Does Trixie need to make that clearer in chapter 1?
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I guess you could say, you were inspfired by this chapter?
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"Where were you when ah was battlin' Discord?"
"This isn't you! You're not a liar!" *blue magics*
*uncontrollable sobbing*
"oops..."
6653780
[obligatory groan] :)
A lesson for ponies who would attempt to keep Trixie from travelling and generally from the idea of freedom itself: she'll burn your place down. Just hope she doesn't come up with a spell capable of burning crystal.
6653780 Well, Trixie is already blue, I don't think she can become any bluer with sadness.
Also, FIMfiction's system notification completely failed to let me know you replied to me, so there's that!
6656169
Well, there has to be a reason she values freedom so much more than companionship, right?
"Say, you know that super powerful unicorn filly in our care? Let's make her mentally deranged!"
"I can see no way this could possibly go wrong."
I was checking the end of this chapter to refresh myself before going on to the next one, and I caught this:
"Trixie actually knew very little aboutof where she lived"
"Oh does that... does it really? Trixie had not considered... but no matter!"
Hm. I wonder what that's about...
...This story has quite a low bar for happy moments, doesn't it? :)
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Trixie commands you to be happy!
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fixed...
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"Trixie commands you to be happy!"
Well, I was thinking more of Trixie's happiness, but I did smile at that. :)
Poor Trixie really must have pissed off a deity of luck or two in a previous life.
As all the background ponies in this chapter demonstrate, if you can prevent yourself from panicking at the slightest change in the status quo, then you're literally a superequine.
Saying that, this isn't a criticism of this story or anything, just an observation. I went through a lot of Harry Potter fanfics back in the day, and probably one of the most odious category of fanfic tropes in that fandom was the 'Wrong Boy Who Lived' fics, where Harry has a twin sibling who is mistakenly confused for being the real Boy Who Lived, who gets all the training and media glory while Harry is crapped on. Most writers drop those stories, thankfully (they're not very good), but the obvious build-up is towards a vengeful satisfying climax where the truth is revealed and all the supposed good guys suffer the grandfather of all guilt trips.
This isn't a Wrong Boy Who Lived fic, but it does have a little bit of a close parallel. Princess Celestia will have dun goofed and selected as her latest student a unicorn raised in luxury in the capitol of Equestria, while the real hero basically gets dumped on for basically her entire life and has to battle through adversity. So I guess the point I was trying to get into is not to fall into the trap of turning the scene when everypony finds out the truth into a viscerally satisfying event where all the good guys either suffer guilt trips or go into denial and then turn it into several chapters of angst.
So far I mean, your writing doesn't show any real signs of building up to that, so I'm happy with that.
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It's like we're really watching the show!
I can assure you that is not anywhere near what the climax of this story is going to be. You're making me want to actually write more, just to give you something a little less drearily black and white. I still have some painful parts to get through though...
I—I wasn't thinking about doing that!
Honest!
6808852
It just felt like something she would say given the situation.
I'm beginning to suspect Trixie embodies the 7th element of Harmony; Comical misunderstandings (Although these are actually pretty serious . . .)
6861897
The title.
Also, have another chapter.
You really should add this story to one of the groups. It have potential and deserve audience.
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Which groups? I don't really do those much. It's hard to just... add stories to a group, since joining means all the stories for that group all go in your one feed.
Feel free to put the story in any groups you like. I could look around a bit myself, I suppose. Oh uh, wait you can put stories that aren't yours into groups, can't you? Oh, and huh, they have options now for not putting stuff in your feed so you can join without getting swamped with notices.
6863176 You can start from some Trixie's groups like "The Great and Not Obsessive Trixie". Maybe "Dark" or "Misery, Misery, Misery" cus... well, you got an idea.