Would it matter, if I was...

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Fluttershy has a very difficult question to ask Twilight Sparkle. A simple question, it seems, but first, she has to...
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Lambda Fan

Lambda Fan #1 · Oct 14th, 2015 · · ·

Wow, that was pretty funny! I like how every single scene had something happening in it, as well as the fact we don't know what Fluttershy is talking about.
(I'm going to assume she's a changeling)

Elric of Melnipony

Elric of Melnipony #2 · Oct 15th, 2015 · · ·

This bandwagon's wheels must be buckling by now, as many people as there are on it...

ponichaeism

ponichaeism #3 · Oct 15th, 2015 · · ·

I found this a highly amusing story, what with everything in the universe getting in Fluttershy's way, but some minor grammar problems made the text a little sloppy to read. A few missing commas[1], some instances where the speakers don't get a new paragraph[2], dangling words[3], etc. Also, your ellipses are all over the place. Whatever you do, make your ellipsis use consistent. And you should never need more than four. Any number higher than that is overkill; it's the ellipsis counterpart of using multiple exclamation points.

[1] “You say something Fluttershy?” Rainbow Dash asked her.
[2] The paragraph at the wedding reception
[3] 'So “Yes,” Fluttershy said'

ferret

ferret #4 · Oct 15th, 2015 · · ·

6527864
Fluttershy is a hushling.

6528344
Everypony aboard the gravy train!
I only wrote this because ~~I couldn't find the group~~no one else had, yet.

6530646
Rainbow's dialog was intended to be sloppy, but I do miss commas a lot so please do let me know. [2] I wouldn't characterize as a problem so much as a neurotic complex. I can't comprehend how anyone else always remembers not to put two speakers in the same paragraph! [3] could use a ...comma I guess? None of those words are superfluous.

Anyway, fixed. Thanks.

And the reason I use so many ellipses... is... um, well... it's because... I... ..........

........................................

....................................................................dgaf

ponichaeism

ponichaeism #5 · Oct 15th, 2015 · · ·

6530916

That little "so" tucked in there seemed like a copy-paste mistake, which is why I said it seemed superfluous. But if you want it there, then yeah, it should have a comma.