• Member Since 14th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Last Monday

JeremyStorm


I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, we're all dudes; HEY!

Comments ( 63 )
Comment posted by Derpys Muffin Dealer deleted Aug 21st, 2015

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Yeah, don’t provide any useful feedback or anything… And lets not forget to skip the story description, then complain when it turns out to be something that you don’t like.

Seriously. What were you expecting from this one shot?

Yo this is really good. Not always a fan of M/M. And I'm not a fan of three somes. But the dialogue, as well as Will's thought process was written really well and I found myself loving it. Great job! Super adorable, super sexy, and super entertaining.

HURRY UP!!!!! WHERE IS CHAPTER 2?!?!?!?!

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Thanks! I'm really glad you liked it. This is probably the most fun I've ever had writing clop!

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At the moment, this is all I have planned for this story, hence the Completed tag. However, if the urge overtakes me I might add more? I have a couple of other fun ideas for these three, but for now I'm going to be focusing on TFaR's sequel.

6341470 oh...sorry, I didnt notice, how ignorant of me :fluttershyouch:

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Haha, no worries! It happens.

this needs a sequel where will and rumble go at eachother

6341228 ~don't take it the wrong way , I liked the story ... i was just at a loss for words...

Really great work, Author! I'm not into M/M myself, but you did an outstanding job, despite the inevitable flaws. :ajsmug: But, at the end of the day, who could even acknowledge those with the raw amount of quality this story offers? It was very well-written (even using some big-boy words I didn't know. Props for that. :rainbowderp:), found a balance of both sexual orientations' arousal, and outright sodomized (Heh.) a lot of the clichés most HiE Clop Fics unfortunately suffer from; namely the having-flashbacks-about-Earth-oh-nopony-knows-how-I-live-:raritydespair: one.
All in all, a standout from the rest. Keep this up, and you have a future on this site, my friend. :raritywink:

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Why did you delete your comment if you were just going to say the same thing again? Give some feedback, because right now I can't tell if you like it or not, and that's helpful to no one. Why where you "at a loss for words"? What was it that made you so speechless? Was it the amazing male on male action?

I got my shounen-ai fix tonight :D

Personally I have measured stallions at the 6 inch range (Big Mac not withstanding) with a decent amount of girth, but with difficulty lasting over a minute and they have the flare.

Offest by humans who are about the same size, last longer, have fingers but don't cum in as much volume as a pony.

That being said I still liked this as a non-canon oneshot. Especially because it is a non-canon oneshot. That way I can just enjoy the sex for what it is rather than how it would affect the characters.

Plus you fucked up. We didn't get to see a stallion's ass completely ravaged by a human! Next time destroy that colt's ponut!

N-no offense, Will, ‘cuz I love you dearly. But he’s the biggest thing I’ve ever had inside me.

i.imgur.com/RdZZnCH.gif

She just had to say it, didn't she... Poor old Will!

Good job. I liked it and would love to see more like this.

This was very cute! I loved Will's inner conflict and Rumble's sweet demeanor. I hope you have more will and Rumble action planned for the future. Scoots can be included too.

6342678 Yeah me too, but like I said the only true crime was no stallion booty being fucked.

The Storm is back with another story. And it was hawt!

That was...surprisingly decent. Not quite up my alley (pun intended) but the quality of the writing was pretty darn decent.

I like how vivid the description of everything is. Also, the hesitance and awkwardness that accompanies sex sometimes is present here as well. It adds to the realism and makes it enjoyable.

The only gripe I have is the use of actual numbers for measurement of certain...appendages. Comparisons are fine, but once you start throwing out actual numbers, it starts messing with people's headcanons. I would suggest staying away from hard numbers, and opting instead for simple comparisons or analogies.

Overall, great work. I hope to be seeing more from you, whether it be to this universe or something else.

I rarely read M/M. Not because of any feelings against it; I have no problem with it in the slightest. It just typically isn't really my thing. But my goodness, was that fantastic. It managed to put me in the mind of Will, and I too found it hotter and hotter as it went on. Definite thumbs up and favorite for you.

Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss, this is the thing I was hoping for, and by god man you delivered. I liked how I was laughing a lot of the beginning of it all. :rainbowlaugh: Will coming to terms with everything was really amusing, and his inner dialogue was pretty great, not gonna lie. M/M is love, M/M is life. And Scootaloo in the mix made it even better. :derpytongue2:

I have the weirdest boner right now. 0_0

Fuck you, now I have to contemplate my own sexuality XD

Well, this was... AMAZING! I never thought that M/M could turn me on this much. I have tried with normal, human guy on guy action, but while I wasn't revolted by it, I wasn't interested either.

That being said, I had some very uncomfortable lower garments restricting my enjoyment at reading this story.

You conveyed the characters amazingly realistically and with depth too. Although, it seems that Will may have had a change of heart too fast, and that part seemed slightly rushed. But that is my only quarrel, other than minor grammatical errors.

I would thoroughly enjoy a sequal and maybe this could develop into a small spinoff? I, for one would enjoy to see how Will, Scoots, and Rumble all grow together and progress in their relationship.

Well, I suppose my inconsequential rant is approaching it's finite length. I would give this story an 8.0 out of ten. It was well written and entertaining. But I do wish that there was more substance. Perhaps that might come with time?

Thank you, Jeremy for making To Find A Rainbow, and now this. You have brought entertainment and happiness into the lives of many people, and that is a wonderful accomplishment.:pinkiesmile:

M/M is love, M/M is life.

Yes. Yes it is. This was hawt.

~Have a good one.

Ya still got it.

I usually tend to avoid M/M stories unless there's a really good story behind the clop that goes with it. But HOLY shit this was amazingly well put together! It's been a while since I've read a guy-on-guy/stallion story that had me hooked to the very end.

And even if you say it isn't canon, it surely feels like it actually is! It's kind of sad to think it was only a one shot thing. We need more hot stuff like this, man. (I was kinda expecting a double-team blowjob on Will. And I'll be waiting for it to happen some day :rainbowlaugh: )

As always, amazing work on every paragraph. It was a really fun read! Keep it up!

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Thank you all very much first of all! As for a sequel or further chapters or whatnot... I tagged this one Complete mostly because I have no concrete plans to continue it, but I did really love writing it. M/M is a particular favorite of mine, and having it with Will and Scoots involved was really fun! I have a few more ideas that I could do, but I didn't want to leave this as Incomplete on the chance I never get around to doing more with it. So... keep an eye out, I guess? If I get the urge to come back to it, I certainly will and I'll post it as an additional chapter here.

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Thankya kindly, each and every one of ya! :ajsmug: I told myself as I was writing it that if I showed even one person the wonders of teh gay then it would all be worth it. I think that's Mission Successful.

6342927
Well you know, like Big Sister like Little Sister. :rainbowlaugh:

Hahaha, that last line. A+ story, really good bisexual erotica.

Being in a polyamorous relationship took a little getting used to for Will, but now he's going to have to sink or swim as Scootaloo is ready to take their relationship with Rumble to the next level

SAY NO FUCKING MORE :pinkiehappy: I AM IN
Being that i am still experimenting with my own attraction to polyamorous relationships, I find interest in fan fics and news feeds on the subject.

I think this comes across as pretty sweet. The protagonist is really trying, and it's not often you see Authors acknowledge being straight in this situation and things not devolving into 'Eww, gay!" There's actual commitment and love here, and it's always fun to watch things with a slightly non-human slant. Nobody is bitter, or holding some deep secret, and it's awesome.

I'd love to see more of this relationship if you get the urge to continue some day.

You know; I don't read much clop erotica. A very little part of that gets fav'd or thumb'd. If M/M's included, the amount of consideration to even read it gets close to zero, as it doesn't interest me.

But here you have something else. I mean, the M/M's there, but, it isn't the "main feast", if I may say so. The main subject is Will adapting to pony customs and trying - really trying - to accept what seems obvious to both Scoots and Rumble.

Following Will's considerations and thoughts made it possible to imagine and follow his slow transition from opposition and disgust towards curiosity and love, even if it was real love only for Scoots, at first.

So. This was great.

Everything flowed along nicely. Everyone kept to their established characters. The progress made sense.
Have a thumb and a fav'.
:twilightsmile:

Now if you'll excuse me, I'll have to consider why I read this, why I admitted to liking it, and if I should keep on wanting more.
:pinkiecrazy:

6345629 It kinda helps that I'm a straight-ish kinda guy and you are a good writer.

jxj

Really good story. I can really get behind will's thought process.

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Thank you all so much! :twilightsmile:

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Yeah, I find them really fun and interesting, too! There's far too little of it in fiction.

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Thanks! I'm glad you gave it a shot despite your reservations and even happier that you liked it! And go on, want more! Embrace the yummy bisexual lovin'! :pinkiehappy: Pinkie would approve.

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There is far too little of it in real life :rainbowlaugh:
Prejudice based on religious moral and traditional marriage laws have made it very hard for anyone to have an open mind on the subject, and those who are involved in one are scrutinized as being greedy, perverse, or overall slobs.

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This is all unfortunately very true. The world we live in is often a horrible place. But that's why we have ponies and pony fiction to help!

Wow, they really broke Scoots there; I imagined her brain making the Win95 'critical stop' sound. :rainbowlaugh:

I like it. Very sweet, sensual, and descriptive. :twilightsmile:

jxj

6348467 i'd love to see this as a spin off of To Find a Rainbow (which i'm currently reading). Any thoughts of doing so?

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I think that's a pretty accurate sound to describe Scoots in that moment. Thanks! :twilightsmile:

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I'm leaving it as Complete for now since I'm not sure if I'll do anymore with it, but... maybe. Can't promise anything yet, but if I do decide to do more I'll definitely upload it here as another chapter! I'm focusing on TFaR's sequel at the moment.

*clears throat* This was.....soincrediblyhotandiloveitloveitloveit!!!Idemandasequel! *clears throat* Yes. I loved it, and how there was more story behind it than just clop.

Plus, those ending lines made me think of this.

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Ponies are always the best way to leave this reality and create our own :twilightsmile:

Well, that was... something. :rainbowderp:

I'm at a really weird place right now, and you know what? I'm surprisingly comfortable with that. :twilightsmile:

I knew full well the subject matter before I commenced reading. I went in regardless. Your writing is too good to pass up. I like to consider myself a fairly carefree kind of bloke, free from prejudices, open minded, blah blah, standard politically correct musings. I could rattle off all the bullshit you're supposed to say in this situation. Saying a lot but telling you nothing.

I am a thirty something-ish, red blooded Australian male. Ex military, former Knuckle dragging gold miner. married, two kids, with dogs, a mortgage and a budgie. Honestly M/M has never held any great appeal to me. It still doesn't, but I'm not gonna lie. :ajsmug:

That was an amazing piece of fiction that I thoroughly enjoyed. :pinkiehappy:

I can readily admit that I found it fascinating that you could get me to appreciate the levels of discomfort that Will would surely be facing. The further I read into the story, the more I found my levels of discomfort in the scenario dropping at the same rate as Old mate.

I can't explain why I was initially uncomfortable, I'm sorry, but I was. I like to think I am better man than that. Apparently not. :ajsleepy:

Unwarranted trepidation aside. I couldn't stop reading, it was brilliant. I enjoyed it far more than I thought I would. You sir, have a gift. I can't say I have a new found fetish, but I can certainly appreciate a great bit of literature. Well done mate.

I've run out of time to properly express how much of an effect this story has had on my preconceived notions. Needless to say you have opened my eyes and my mind to a world I was too blind and let's be honest too ignorant to see. :scootangel:

Please don't fill my inbox with hate mail. I'm only trying to be honest.

That....was really freaking hot :pinkiehappy:...more please if you dont mind.

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I don't think any of that is anything to be ashamed of. Let's be real for a second: for however much I love to dress this stuff up, this is essentially porn. Sure, I try to add a little psuedo-romantic stuff to it to make it seem like more, but it's still just clop. And so if you aren't into porn focused largely on a male, then of course it's probably not going to be comfortable to read. It would be like reading any clopfic featuring something you aren't into.

But despite that, you gave it a fair shot anyway. Regardless of what you actually thought of it at the end, I think that's an incredibly open-minded thing to do. A lot more than I've been willing to do in some scenarios! :rainbowlaugh:

That being said, I AM super happy you liked it! Maybe you'll want some R63 Octavia next time! :raritywink:

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Yeah, it's porn, no point in sugar coating it, but I like to delude myself into thinking of it as alternate erotic fiction. I mean strewth! My current top favs on this site. To Find a Rainbow, The Third roommate, Bon Bon's acceptance, and Hearth and Forge, have barely a handful of clop scenes between them. PWP(Plot with plot) is indeed my preferred genre. :twistnerd:

I appreciate your understanding, I wasn't sure how my comment would translate. I really did like it. :twilightblush:

I wasn't really ashamed, more so... Disappointed in myself for allowing prejudices I had convinced myself I didn't possess to colour my perceptions of clearly good work. It wasn't until Will 's introspective as to how far he was willing to go with rumble that my misgivings surfaced.

Please believe me when I say; At no stage did I not like how events were transpiring. It's a true credit to your abilities as a writer that my desire to continue reading overcame my... Let's just call it, indifference to the subject matter. I wanted to know which route you were going to take. Scootaloo having a penchant for butt stuff(good-onya Scoot's) was not what I envisioned for the filly but as soon as lube was mentioned I knew which root you were gonna go. It was all tastefully done, Will's mental battles believably plausible. And the final act was the perfect culmination. And in my opinion, probably the most endearingly intimate act of the whole thing. :twilightsmile:

What my prolonged blathering is trying to say is;

I read some gay-ish pony porn,

and I liked it. :scootangel:

This is in the top 5 hottest m/m stories I've read do far. From mesmerizing detalization to characters' personality I love it all.:scootangel: Also this story got me overexcited fast. :rainbowwild:

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