The One Who Got Away

by Georg

Author Comments, Ramblings, and Footnotes of Awesomeness

The One Who Got Away
Author Comments, Ramblings, and Footnotes of Awesomeness

“As, when in tumults rise th' ignoble crowd,
Mad are their motions, and their tongues are loud;
And stones and brands in rattling volleys fly,
And all the rustic arms that fury can supply:
If then some grave and pious man appear,
They hush their noise, and lend a list'ning ear;
He soothes with sober words their angry mood,
And quenches their innate desire of blood.”

—Virgill, The Aeneid

---

First, I would like to thank the individual who gave me the idea for this story. I think it was GhostOfHeraclitus, but I can't find the actual email/messaging exchange, possibly because it happened before Google put archiving on Hangouts. As best my spotty memory can recall, the conversation (with whoever it was) went vaguely like this:

Me: I need to do a story where there's a barony in a valley that winds up split in half along a river, where one son gets one half and the other son gets the other half, but the third son gets the river.

Ghost: And it's full of seaponies?

Me: (pause) Yeah.

---

Between my editors and myself, we had a few somewhat vigorous discussions and comment sessions that just had to be reproduced for the edification of the readers, or at least any of them named Ed. (That is what Edification means, right?) The quotes from The Aeneid come from the public domain translation, with just the smallest change to Virgil to make him more of a seapony. (Get it? Virgil? Virgill? … I'll see myself out.)

Chap. 1

(Where the Barony of Fenwick is mentioned)

GhostOfHeraclitus: Their Pinot Grand Fenwick is, I am told, simply to die for.
:)
(I dare you to work in the phrase 'the pony who roared' into this) ;)

(Reflections on the name of Gaberdine)

Seether00: Oh, it's a guy. I kept thinking that with a name like that it he was a she

Georg: k, just for illustration's sake, I went through and green/yellowed each his/he in the previous several sentences. There's 11 of them. 12 if you count 'Lord'

(On the discussion of the Equestrian budget being 137,000 bits per minute)

Georg: 72 billion bits a year. Seem high or low?
Peter: No way to tell without some idea of the buying power of the bit. What is the usual wage per hour for instance is a good place to start.
Southpaw: It's good as a high enough number to make the point. It doesn't have to equal the budget of a nation like the US - Equestria doesn't have aircraft carriers. ;)
BluePaladin: I want to say the buying power of the bit is probably meant to be around the dollar mark, given how freely those little gold coins (plated, perhaps?) are thrown around.
Ghost: Less gold content than seawater, your basic bit. That's not even gold. Rubs off too fast. Brass. Even that's too expensive, truth be told. Also it while it is true we don't have aircraft carriers, we do have airborne pegasi carriers and those cost a pretty penny. The protective spells alone cost over... anyway. I'd take aircraft carriers and half of Pentagon in trade for the Parasprite Preparedness Fund and half of the MONHUNGENCOM infrastructure. --D.H.L.

Personally, I assume a bit is exactly one dollar and work from there. It's a daft notion[1] but it helps keep some sort of perspective.

Taking that into consideration, 72e9 is too few bits. But I doubt anyone (anyone not virtually present, at any rate) is going to bother multiplying let alone figuring out the economics of it. It sounds like a reasonably vast sum.

[1] I can't even blame parochialism. I've only ever seen a dollar once.
Ferret: Can we please keep these footnotes? Or can Ghost put them in the comments? It's such an amusing contrast in writing styles.

(“Yes, Your Highness. Or my second-eldest brother Plum, in the event Elderberry is unable to carry on the family name.”)
Peter: in other words if his plums don't work?
Georg: Boo!
Seether: Oh c'mon. Throw the guy a bone....er
Anon: not his fault it might be difficult to raise the flagpole.
Georg: Ahhh!!! You perverts... I love you all, you know that, right? :)

(Discussions on paddlewheel vs. Sidewheel steamships)
Peter: Ah, I see. Sternwheeler vs sidewheeler.
BluePaladin: Sidewheel 4lyfe!
Seether00: Oh dear. He is in deliverance country now.
Georg: Oh, if only I had a good spot for Sen to whip out a banjo...
Ferret: Just mention someone's playing a banjo out of sight n___n

(On discussions of Gaberdine's new career)
As a noble, it would be his responsibility to fritter away a certain amount of bits on irresponsible hobbies that could be used as conversation starters at court.

Ghost: Ah. I see he has learned the art of being a noble from Canterlot ponies. Good. We needed more of those. --D.H.L.

(Yes, I am writing comments in character. No, I have no excuse)
BluePaladin: Now now, Dotted. It keeps them busy, after all. Otherwise, they might actually start to consider what powers they do still posses. I do rather wish they would stop having croquet, or racquetball, or what-have-you tournaments in the middle of the streets though.
Ferret: True, but is that better than them trying to actually exert their supposedly dictatorial powers? Or worse yet, try to influence court.

(Then he could return to Canterlot as Baron Gaberdine of Fen, much as several of his peers were barons or viscounts of bits of land so small that a stone could be thrown completely across them from one border to the next.)
Southpaw: Princess Celestia, giving the young nobility what they need instead of want: a healthy dose of humility for the future.
Georg: Some misguided youth just need a little size 14W golden hoofed nudge to direct them in a more useful direction.

(Reflections on IHTFP -- The crusty old pony gestured to an arch over the gangplank with IHTFP painted in large letters, and below in smaller golden script, the words S.S. Paradise IV.)
Georg: This is an in-joke by the way, it can stand for I Have Truly Found Paradise, or I Hate This Fucking Place.
Ghost: :D
Ferret: As it should be n_n
Editors note: It's also a very long in-joke at MIT.

(For a long moment, Gaberdine considered just climbing back into the carriage and flying home. This was obviously one of Princess Celestia’s epic pranks, and he was the punch line.)
Ghost: Random aside:
It is said that Princess Celestia likes to play pranks on senior members of the civil service just to see what they'll do. Dotted Line endeavors to avoid the prank by simply not being where the Princess expects him to be and not doing what she expects him to do. Spinning Top responds by erasing all evidence that the prank ever took place.

Leafy Salad, on the other hoof, responded by alphabetizing Celestia's rooms. Including the furniture. And everything in the furniture.
BluePaladin: I am imagining Luna trying to Prank Dotted, and spending a week desperately trying to out think him long enough to actually put a pie in his face. On Wednesday, Celestia told Luna if she actually manages, she will buy her that expensive telescope she has been eyeing lately.

(It only took a light magical touch on the dragonfire-imbued scroll for it to burst into green fire and flow out of the room in a trail of smoke, vanishing off to the north on its rendezvous with Princess Celestia, who would get it almost at the exact moment she was lowering the sun for the day.)

Peter: I have this sudden vision of Spike earning spending money by contributing a supply of dragon fire to the paper manufacturer.
Georg: So Twilight, why do you have me scheduled in at Minutette's to have my teeth cleaned every month of this year, and does it have anything to do with the new jewelry she's been buying?
Ferret: giggles helplessly

(The old baron must have been a fairly competent unicorn, from the number of waterproofing spells around his small but tidy bedroom and extensive library. )
BluePaladin: In fairness, it's unlikely any suites would be below the waterline. Unless I miss my guess, this boat is meant to be evocative of the famous American Riverboats (Especially casino boats) with the crown topped smoke stacks and great paddlewheels. Those things possessed an absurdly shallow draft and a nearly flat bottom. They were also quite tall. Tall enough that if they sunk, the top few decks would sit safely above the water line once the bottom hit the riverbed.
...
Seether00: You know what I'm going to say here:

Everyone said it was daft to build a castle in the swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em.

It sank to the swamp. So I built a second one. It sank into the swamp. I built a third one. It burned down, fell over than sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up!

(“I don’t see what relevance this has to a third barony,” said Gaberdine. “If one son took everything west of the river, and the other son took everything east of it…” The riverboat they were on took that moment to lurch slightly at its moorings and Gaberdine paused to consider just exactly how convoluted Princess Celestia could be when provoked.)

Ghost: That's nothing! During the highly annoying breakup of house Canter, she awarded one particularly annoying noble a third of all land (the middle third), excepting the third of that land (the middle third) and of those parts that were left, the Crown took a third (a middle third, as it happens) and of parts thus remaining the Crown took exactly a third (the middle third) and...

Six cartographers were driven insane, and an entire branch of mathematics had to be invented because of that little fracas. And then there was the business with House Sierpinski over in Stalliongrad. Yeesh. We still haven't gotten to the bottom of that one. --D.H.L.

Yes, it's a math joke. No, I don't have any shame.

Ferret: No shame for such math jokes is truly a good thing.

(After waiting a sufficient amount of time to put a dent in the glass of admittedly fine whiskey/cleaning solution and to see if the old pony was about to admit the joke, Gaberdine continued, “How many ‘seaponies’ are there in the river?”)

Ghost: One of my favorite jokes so far on account of being quiet.
Georg: Credit goes to Tek on this one. I think. Or Peter. One of them suggested it. They've both been a godsend.

(There was a sudden silence, followed by a piercing scream. “I got my cutie mark! Look! Look!”)
Ferret: What does a cutie mark for saving nobles from steam look like?
BluePaladin: A disappointed Dotted Line.

Well, that's it for now. Hope you enjoyed the trip down the river, and I hope to see you all soon as I continue writing.

Keep your boiler hot
—Georg (and the rest of the crew)

Comments

[Midnightsotherother]

MORE!!!
Will there be a sequel?

[Nealend86]

6385207
I second this idea along with having it involve a half-seapony!

[RandomString]

Fantastic story Georg, thanks for sharing it with us. And thanks to all the editors for their contribution too, of course. Just sorry that it had to end, and very glad that none of the nasty scenarios in my head came to pass.

[Azarias]

Damn, it's over all too soon.

[Bast]

LOL Love that last joke about Dotted line

[Admiral Biscuit]

Sir not appearing in the notes reporting for duty.

[Dalkrin-the-Wanderer]

Here I was anticipating a hefty sum of chapters and having my hopes crushed. So much unexplored story potential here. Like I'm happy about the happy ending but I'm sad it's over.

[Llyander]

Thoroughly enjoyed this, thank you.

More?

[Fire Feather]

6385264 Agreed. It needs a sequel.

[Viking ZX]

Good story! My favorite moment—oddly enough—was actually the tale of how the river became a barony. I laughed good and hard at that. Someone came out ahead on that exchange due to some clever thinking!

The rest of the story is pretty sweet as well, though, don't get me wrong. I like the gradual shift in Gaberdine's understanding of his barony. It's a pretty classic romantic setup (kids are adorable) but it works well to swing him around. Also, it's pretty clear in the prose that meeting Pearl hit Gaberdine with a ten-ton mallet—his world developed blinders when she was around ... but when has that not happened before? Sometimes you're hooked from the get-go. Anyway, it was a nice touch.

You have a fun story that does quite well to build on the elements and setting of the show.

[howard035]

This was a fun, fantastic little story, with an adorable filly, a sweet romantic interlude (although that's not really the focus of the story) and a really great piece of world-building.

That said, there's an underlying theme in this story that I've seen in other stories, but its particularly apparent here and its driving me nuts: Princess Celestia is presented as an incredibly benevolent, almost omniscient ruler with a passion for manipulating ponies in ways that ultimately make them better people, and many of the ponies she manipulates are shown becoming good ponies, having families and teaching their children good values. At the same time, the capital city of Canterlot is portrayed as 99.9% a group of sociopathic elitist douchebags who seem to genuinely admire Celestia to the point of worship while diligently working to undermine everything she does and stands for on a daily basis, to the point where she is forced to work outside the system she sets up and maintains just to accomplish anything non-routine. Does anyone else see the massive contradiction here?

Do all the ponies in Canterlot who aren't story protagonists have the memory of goldfish, where they just forget any lesson that Celestia taught their parents and grandparents and so on, as well as the lessons she taught everyone else in their peer group and so on? Is it just that running a government requires ponies to surrender any and all common sense and empathy except at the highest levels, where the trend reverses itself? Does Celestia want to gather all the worst ponies in Equestria around her so she can keep an eye on them, by having all foals psychologically evaluated at the age of 10, with those showing tendencies towards clinical narcissism automatically given a noble title and an apprenticeship towards a government post?

I'm sorry for the lengthy rant over what isn't really the core theme of a wonderful story with a really unique setting, it's just this is the ~51st story with this exact illogical background that I've read, and the inherent contradiction is never explained, and it drives me nuts.

[Rhino]

Ah well, guess the continued shipping of Pearl and Gabby will be in my head from now on. A lovely ride you gave here, wonderful job.

[Midnightsotherother]

6385230 I just want more romance.
I'm squishy like that. they're adorable.

[JustBrowsing]

Truly a great little story. I eagerly await Green Grass giving some impromptu instruction to a small herd (or horde, if they take after the crusaders) of seapony foals in the background of a Princess visit to Fen.

Come to think of it, taking a small rental boat to Fen would be a nice, secluded spot for a honeymoon. Or maybe for a quiet vacation at a later date, if the royal couple was looking for some pampering. If the honeymoon turns into a royal diplomatic snafu (If? More like when!) they might need a vacation afterwards.

[conigwolf]

I think a sequel or even a day to day life of these ponies would be a delightful idea, i love Ripple <3

[strangephantasm]

6385334

Better that they're all clustered in Canterlot where she can keep an eye on them rather than spread out all over Equestria where they can work their malfeasance in secret. But also because Canterlot is where the dungeons are.

I agree with everybrony who says this needs a sequel. Heck, I'd even settle with these characters making cameos in other stories. They do feel like the kinds of people that would pop up in them. Say, for some reason the girls have to take a trip downriver or something. I'll take any excuse for more Ripple. *insert excessive gushing and manly squees here*

[Grayfire]

Sequel please

[howard035]

6385424 Maybe Canterlot is just a giant fancy, open air pre-emptive dungeon? And the inmates are given paperwork to keep them busy?

Yeah, Ripple spreading out into other stories would certainly fit her name.

[Georg]

6385454 Like in Escape From New York? Hm...
6385444 Always leave 'em wanting more.
6385424 True, if they were scattered all over Equestria, Celestia would *never* be able to keep an eye on all of 'em.
6385334 One must remember, the people you remember the most are the ones who irritate you the most.
6385234 I'm just an old softie.
6385263 Hm, I'll have to find some other task to put you on. Maybe Royal Exam...
6385249 Like I said, some of those notes were too good not to share.

[Misdirection01]

Well shoot, it's finished I see. Ah well. Great fic.

[Grayfire]

6385477 You certainly did it makes me wonder why you stopped it now when you have so many more ways you could have taken this story and you know your fans would love it.

[Philosophysics]

Beautiful story.
6385506

Sometimes less is more.

We don'w want another Twilight.

[howard035]

6385477 Escape from Canterlot would feature Rarity dressed as future Twilight, smuggling Fancy Pants out while having to hold competitive tea parties with rival gangs. I'd watch it.

One must remember, the people you remember the most are the ones who irritate you the most.

So your theory is that the really snobbish, nasty Canterlotians are a tiny but highly visible minority? That does make a lot of sense, and it's an angle I hadn't considered. It would certainly explain how non-bothered Celestia seems about Canterlot culture is in general, if she has a better view on the city's culture as a whole then the many young ponies whose views are shaped by that one jerk at a party who publicly berated a waiter and made sniggering comments about a poorer pony behind their back. It would also explain how of the limited Canterlot elite we've seen, most of them actually seem to be decent ponies, albeit social climbers, and only get annoyed with "common" ponies when they destroy fancy parties.

[Zyrian]

I still have a slight problem visualizing seapony... Where do the hooves end and the flippers start?

[Flutters Is Shy]

Damnit, you made a really good story, definitely left me wanting a sequel.

[Moonlit Novel]

I loved the story, and I do hope for a possible sequel, but without I love the story regardless thanks for posting this!

[The Cyan Recluse]

The worst thing about this story?

The fact that it's now over!

In short, a wonderful little story with entertaining, three dimensional characters, excellent world building, and great pacing.

I'm guessing that you're not planning a sequel, but I will be quite happy to be proven wrong.

[RoundPaperClips]

Great story. Loved every bit!

[FanOfMostEverything]

I'm very glad to see my fears were wrong. Sorry for the dramatic paranoia. In any case, this was enjoyable from start to finish. Thank you for it.

As for the fractal cartography, I suppose Canterlot has yet to receive a pony with a Day-Glo pterodactyl for a cutie mark.

[So Grossly Incandescent]

I would actually like another story like this, only more world building, less Slice of Life. There anyone out there willing to give it a go?

[Georg]

6386083 Hm, something in a slice of life Huck Fin/Tom Sawyer where a runaway orphan floats down the river on a raft to run away from an abusive orphanage and discovers a new friend. A somewhat *different* and wet friend. You know, that's a possibility.

Edit: Like this, perhaps?

EDrifting Down the Lazy River

• MLP: FiM
• Romance
• Adventure

A frustrated young orphan with a talent for painting attempts to run away from his rural village and escape to Baltimare on a raft, only to find out that the river Fen holds an unexpected answer to his problem: Seaponies

• Celestia
• Luna
• OC
• Seaponies

Georg · 99k words  ·  1,021  12 · 8.5k views

[So Grossly Incandescent]

6386098 That sounds pretty good! If you are willing, my man. I thoroughly enjoyed your story, and certainly will follow you. If you choose not to do it, I understand. Best of luck to you mate.

[Rocinante]

6386098

I'd read that.

[Rescue Sunstreak]

A wonderful story, a tiny slice of life that brings depth to the characters. I would love to see you continue the line, to give us a slice of what life is like in the Barony.

[Carapace]

For whatever reason, it took me a little bit to warm up to this story, but I'm glad I took the time to read it. The world building with the barony and the seapony refugees was very well done, Ripple was an utter joy whenever she popped up, Gabby's growth throughout the piece was well-done and shown through the narrative, and, if I might say, it seemed as though Pearl did a little bit of opening up of her own once she noticed how well Ripple took to Gabby. All in all, it was a fun read.

[Dustchu]

I want moar Seaponies they're so lovablle...

NICE JOB!

Good show on this man, again!

[Noble Cause]

... if this is what you outlining looks like, I want in to help on the next one!

[Leave a Whisper]

6385954

The world needs more Day-Glo Pteradactyls ;)

[zaku666]

My one complaint is we couldn't see Ripples mom getting courted and Ripples "teasing" of her mom and the baron.
Still good story doe

[TheifofZ]

6386532 The world needs more day-glo dinosaurs in general.

[Phoenix999]

There's a critical flaw in this story.

It ended too soon!

No, you ended it on an EXTREMELY high note. It was beautiful. Perfect as it is. I would love to see a sequel in the future though.

[SIGAWESOME]

nd then there was the business with House Sierpinski over in Stalliongrad. Yeesh. We still haven't gotten to the bottom of that one.

If Dotted is about to have an aneurysm over House Serpinski, then he will love the fracas House Koch is causing with their barony's borders...

[Leave a Whisper]

6386630 I couldn't agree more. :D

[Leave a Whisper]

6386697

Oh. Thanks for the explanation.

[j-grizz]

GhostOfHeraclitus: Their Pinot Grand Fenwick is, I am told, simply to die for.
:)
(I dare you to work in the phrase 'the pony who roared' into this) ;)

Good to see someone else who remembers the mouse books

Loved the characters and the story. Would love to read a Huck Finn style sequel.

[Crafty Arts]

this requires a sequel... WE MUST BOW DOWN TO OUR CUTE AND ADORABLE OVERMARE, RIPPLE!!

[RunicScribe]

This was absolutely delightful.

Gaberdine's interactions with Ripple were adorable, and his obliviousness towards her seapony nature was quite well done. His rapidly escalating infatuation with Pearl was equally wonderful.

The letters at the end of each chapter were an excellent picture of the state of his mind, and general opinion of his new Barony.

Finally, the comments / footnotes at the end were almost as fun as the story itself.

[LordBucket]

I've enjoyed this. Sad to see it end. Definite sequel potential here.

Also, a bit is 1/8th of a dollar.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bit_(money)

It's still used as a counting unit in some rural areas, despite there no longer being a 12.5 cent coin. A quarter is "two bits" etc.

[Bumblebee Tuner]

6387518
I know, right. I thought everyone knew two bits was 25 cents. A tidbit could be a scrap of food or gossip, or a small and particularly interesting item. Four bits is called a nibble and eight bits is called a byte... A penny for your thoughts should be a pony. Think about it, it makes more sense when you talk of giving your two cents worth.

I suppose a byte of food is on the dollar menu

[Heirophant Magus]

A very nice story you made Georg. An enjoyable experience and a pleasure to read. Also

Everyone said it was daft to build a castle in the swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em.

It sank to the swamp. So I built a second one. It sank into the swamp. I built a third one. It burned down, fell over than sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up!

I see someone's been playing GalCiv 2 for a while .