this was a fun story to read, and i would have like to see more.

Felt a bit abrupt, but I guess it was a rather clear-cut happy ending, so I can't quite complain.

....huh.
Your author's note fixes things for Joe, but that was a risky move. How did he know he wouldn't just die?

Also the no-adventuring-means-no-coming-back logic is a little shaky, since any conflict is a roleplaying encounter. Sometime they'll plan a surprise party for someone, and when they spring it, they'll all revert to the human world again (only their other bodies might have starved by then).

5961631 Maybe! And how did Joe know? He didn't.

5961631

I don't think Joe had any idea what it would do, or he'd have done it sooner I think.

As far as he'd be concerned, it would be exactly the same risk as actually playing the game though. That is, you die, you reroll, and are now of Equestria and can't get out if you buy into that interpretation.

5962152 Sometimes the only winning move is to not play the game, they say.

5962166

Still, Joe just lost 3 (2? Hard to tell with Brad) of his friends, and with how people reacted to the barrier previously, no one may notice, not even him. He did say the only reason he even played pony games was to hang out with them.

That's cold.

5962178 That seems to assume Joe had any idea what would happen besides ripping his sheet apart. It was an act of frustration and spite. For all anyone knows, really, Joe could have killed himself. No one really knows.

An abrupt ending, but we certainly got what someone else paid for. No complaints here. And Blank Slate is entirely correct. She did train her whole life to be a divine vessel. It's just that life was measured in minutes before she got to serve as one.

5962812 I have decided firmly that I suck at endings.

5962225 Frustration and spite don't really fit Joe's character up to this point. In all the previous chapters he was one of the people that wanted to stop and think about things.

5963266 Sure, with people. The real threat of erasure and death brought things to a sudden and most uncomfortable focus. Saying a person would behave rationally in such situation seems idealistic.

"He has rended his tie to this fate.

rent

5964250 We have a competitive leasing offer.

5964296 I meant that the past-tense of rend is rent

5964299 I know, just making bad jokes. Already fixed. :)

bravo bravo. exultant story really good for a short story line.
Harts Fire

On one hand, I want the story to continue...On the other, I don't want it to continue...Meh...I will just go with the flow...

Not that bad of an ending to things at all. Brad got what he deserved, Ian got to be happy with Bed Time, and Paul probably had a pretty nice life riding Blank Slate (in more way than one after a while, I'd imagine).

The only one out is Joe, and depending on what exactly happened to him, he may or may not have been better off either going to Equestria for good, or dying. To find out that 3 people you were last with are now permanently missing means explanations are in order when those 3 people's lives come looking for them in some form, and a fantastical story to try to explain isn't really gonna fly once the law is brought in. i wouldn't want to be Joe in that case.

6000703 That could get quite hairy (or furry?) it's true.

*hoofstomps applause
Hmm so none of the theories will be tested until such time as someone.. ponies up the cash, so to speak. I shall ponder this...

6021669 Glad you enjoyed the ride!

Damn, I wanted a real sequel.
Fuck.

6030324 Sorry, the hirer wanted a different story altogether and now I'm writing One Step, Two Step, Three Hoof, Four dead, along with some others because one story at a time? Lame.

6030339
I can get around it. One Step is looking to me like a great story. Please, write more.

By the way, that's the fastest reply I've ever gotten. Congrats. *gives thumbs up*

6030373 I'm watching. o_o

Not bad, though the disappointing ending was expected after I read the AN about the supporter changing their mind. Still, you didn't just drop the story altogether, and gave it some sense of ending. All in all, enough to get an upvote from me, and I'll probably wander your other stories.

6064047 Glad you liked it! The supporter is currently financing one step, two step, three hoof, four dead, which is chugging along quite well.

I read this over on FA at a friend's suggest. I liked it though I did skip over a few parts. The "sucked into the game world" concept is nothing new (over on the Optimalverse group we have a setting with a different take on that, and I just wrote a related book), but your version is fun and interesting.

It was fun to see some ideas like the nature of important NPCs and the ability to make some honest character sheet changes between sessions. It'd be easy to find that your character didn't fit the kind of character you'd actually want to be. (I spent a while thinking about how I like Int-focused characters but prefer spontaneous casting, and how the Pathfinder witch class has some cool hybrid powers, and wondering whether non-unicorns can be casters in Ponyfinder... it's good when a story distracts me in this way.) I haven't had the misfortune of having Brad's kind of player but could see how disruptive some players could be when dealing with a suddenly real game world.

I don't think I'd ever seen that concept of the disembodied GM before, let alone how he handled the situation.

One thing I disliked about the plot was how Joe (the cleric) reacted so strongly with no lead-up at the end. It would've been more interesting to show the development of "faith" for someone who isn't actually religious but is dealing with (1) some kind of weird dimension-hopping magic, (2) demonstrable magic powers tied to prayer, and (3) the difference between Ponyfinder's sun goddess and the physical goddess Celestia. He could even be accused of faith by doing what he does, hoping it'll work but having no idea.

6151344 Glad you had fun with it. To note, Ponyfinder ponies are all capable of magic, unicorns just get some unique feats that let them use that fancy horn to channel it, and +2 int.

6152009
Is the setting interesting enough for the book to be worth it, or is it just MLP plus Pathfinder stats? I reviewed their adventure "Tower of Misery" and said it was a decent adventure, but didn't do anything to pull me into the setting. Even figuratively.

6159106 It's gotten praise, but I certainly like it. the freebie was written by an outside author with minimal Ponyfinder knowledge

Oh, it's over already...I expected more but since it was a commission piece, doing anymore would be like paying for a stranger's groceries out of your own wallet.

Odd analogy, I know but I thought it'd be fitting due to how random the story was to me.

6924224 I have no specific qualms about being commissioned to continue a story for most stories. Glad you liked it!

It's a shame this one was over so quickly. It reminded me a little of the Guardians of the Flame series.

Ian and Bed Time were cute. Brad got off lightly. Edit: *ahem* I didn't mean it that way, you pervs!

Great story! May the Almighty Spell Check be with you.

7798754 It never was.

7798950 Then may you typos be small

8172064
But it doesn’t remove the unspeakable, soul crushing feeling your soul has after you get back. Add that onto being told you just came back from the dead and you can instantly tell you went to hell.

Well, that was a bit anticlimactic, but all's well that ends well I guess.
If you do end up doing a sequel to this story, then can I suggest starting it from Joe’s perspective in the beginning? Sense he’s the only one that made it back to their original reality, it would be interesting to see if anyone starts wondering if he’s the reason for his friend's sudden disappearance. Resulting in him making a new character sheet in front of his girlfriend to prove he’s not crazy.

And maybe his girlfriend makes a character sheet too in order to try and both save him as well as apologize that she doubted him? Just some food for thought.

Oh, dang. It's over already? I was looking forward to the grand adventure. Oh well.

8783371
Hope you enjoyed the ride.

8783454
Oh, absolutely. Your stories are always fun to read.