• Member Since 13th Sep, 2015
  • offline last seen Last Wednesday


Whats up, welcome to the page, it may not be fancy hopefully you guys/Girls enjoy my content.... when i put content up

Comments ( 70 )

Intresting start so far. Looking forward to your next chapter

thanks mate, i have the grounds for a huge chunk of chapters, just need to expand them and not make the MC a dick

Looking forward to following this

Should the title read "Among"?

thanks mate i am a idiot haha

Nice work! Looking forward to more!

Thanks mate more should be up soon, hopefully in a week

I like the story it's pretty exciting keep up the good work can't wait to read more

Yay I LOVE HALO CE I played it when i was 4 and that was when I could read and wright.

Also will RVB aka Red vs Blue be in this.....pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaase.:fluttershysad:

Nice chapter you got here!

tony: dont mind me im just "dropping" in

AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEE havent hard from you and Corana's been a Bitch and now I can't go back to America to visite my cousin.

And where the hell you were? I was looking your story for days and when I find that your story wasn't anymore on my favorites I even use the Wayback machine to see if I could at least find a cache of your story.

But seriously, it's good to know that you are trying to improve yourself, and I believe that someone did make a post trying to find again your old story but was deleted.

I wanted to tell them that it was your story but now I can't.:pinkiesad2:

Well if people want I'll post a link so people can read the original on a blog post and yea I deleted a lot of stories when I went through really bad depression that I didn't think I'd come finish the year.

Only you feel like it, we would understand if you post it or not, after all, stories can be unconsciously an outlet of our thoughts, and I must say that even if I remember reading your story, I can't remember exactly all the story.

But I liked the story for some reason so must be good at least for me.

alright well i want to cause a lot of people asked for it

This was good and well written, but I do have a few issues, primarily with characterization.

1. An ODST squad comprised of a Lieutenant (O1 or O2) leading three Chief Warrants, (two Grade 3 and one 2). Sure, that could be a thing, but the Warrants would have waaay more experience than the LT, seeing as how in order to be a Chief, you'd probably have been in for almost a decade.

2. The attitudes of the troopers. The breakdown they had was not at all what a hardened trooper would have gone through, because they all got through that sort of stuff as a frontline Marine, if not after their training and that first drop. Especially considering how long the war's been going at this point, they'd be more than used to watching friends die unfortunate deaths. But to be fair, Ling did just lose her arm, so I'll give that the benefit of the doubt. Murphy has no excuse, he was moping like a greenhorn, and no Chief worth their salt is a greenhorn, let alone an ODST.

3. The way you had Tony remove his helmet when there was still a potential active threat is a no go. That humanizing thing is what the depolarizing visor is for, and since he's in unknown territory, like hell would any self respecting trooper just take it off for a bunch of aliens, even if they seem friendly. Fighting a three decade war for survival where every xeno is more likely to try and kill you would breed a cultural distrust that would be reflected in their training.

Other than all that, I like the story, for the most part. It was just those three points in particular that really threw me out of it, and I had to express it, since I roleplay as an ODST on Halo and Arma, as well as my own military experience. My apologies if I offend you or discourage you in any way, I intend this criticism to be constructive, and I hope that you only improve from here.

That's fair mate and yea I was trying to not drop exposition dumps about Murphy and the other ODSTs pretty much only there to die but the basics that I was working on was that Murphy was relatively fresh from an officer academy and used connects and such. And also kinda hinted at that the group are all volunteers from other squads but again I didnt want to do an exposition dumps and I could have done better :).

Also after I posted it a had my second thoughts about him removing his helmet to spike

And heck it's alot better then what I did for the original

Description: How will this ODST soldier survive in a world full of primitive ponies surviving only on magic?

The ODST dude:

Welp, I'm interested. I'll be following the story. 👌

yea there is, when this was first made there wasn't many mature tags to pick from but now... oh fuck there are a few

Do they all apply? I’ve found that of the stories I’ve read that use the red tags (specifically the suicide, narcotics, etc ones) they don’t actually have any of those subjects in the story.

i added Narcotics because there will be scenes of Substance abuse (something i skipped over in the original because i wasn't confident writing it) and same with suicide/self harm. i will put in disclaimers in the intro section if a chapter contains Suicide or Self Harm

In the summary you forgot to add a T to meant, so instead it says mean.

please be good..please be good i hope this doesn't get thrown under the bus like other halo/mlp crossover stories etc
keeping this in my "this could be a good story folder" :D

Ya need an editor. A few little hiccups, but overall pretty solid.

Would have been funny, if he would have crashed with his pod right into Sombra. :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

Yea true but honestly wanted to have that short conflict between them because for future reasons

Yea I most likely do need an Editor but finding one I can trust is difficult

Yea I hope it turns out different as I haven't actually read any other Halo/HIE stories so idk what issues I'm avoiding

Probably, hey I fucked up the title when I first released it XD

well this is an interesting story can't wait to the next one keep up the work.

Here's a motto based on ODST's:
-Who are we?!
-And what we do?!
We kill the bastards!
-And where we kill them?!
-And why's that?!
Because we are ODST!

I've came across a number of Halo/MLP crossovers already and the last Halo game I played was Halo 3: ODST. Somehow, reading this story feels refreshing to me.

yea i quickly jumped into it to try an be as close to something decent as i could

Sure, hence "Helljumpers". Their motto is "Feet first into Hell".

While promising, here is a little obsession with unnecessary infodump. Focus more on story rather than on description, descriptions needed if they are part of action or bear valuable details.

true but i get nervous that i am not explaining something write when i don't put enough in but that's my own paranoia and anxiety

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