• Member Since 21st Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen Last Friday

Kaffeina


[aka FlutterWitch, aka MidnightChaos, aka The Witching Hour]

T

Len Teles and his friend Andy are scientific geniuses who go to a specialized academy for gifted students. Their science project?
Casually building Particle Accelerators ands Light Dampers. Of course it helps to not have just as intelligent younger brother who likes the show they all do. And happens to be sick that day. Now they're stuck turning into pony OCs.


Story is "Cancelled" until further notice.
This is an OTVerse story. Go here for the the group to join~ OC Tales

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 153 )

Well, that was rushed. Seriously, I'm getting whiplash over here from how fast that went.

But, I'm feeling Rarity today. Have an upvote and fave.

I'll give it a like for the concept

Just noticed this, but THERE'S A HUGE MOTHERBUCKING SPOILER IN THE DESCRIPTION.
Excuse my caps, and please remove it. I didn't need to know and it ruined part of the story for me.

Try describing what's going on. Try telling us where things are happening. Give us details, not just simple actions and long strings of dialogue. Let us know who these characters are. Give us reasons to care about them. And during all that dialogue, it's useful to let us know who's saying what.

I apologize for how fast this first chapter went but Chapter 2 will slow down quite a bit.

“Ya. I’m fine,” I said.

Alright. I was a bit concerned when multiple people in the room collapsed at the same time, but since you say you're fine for some reason then clearly there's nothing to be worried about. I bet this happens all the time in Nowherethefuckanywhereville.

No but seriously it's a cute story. Might want to consider describing "I fell down" in a little bit more detail though. Make it look like he tripped. Make it just a stumble. Something other than the imagery that someone collapsed in a boneless heap then immediately jumped up again saying "Ya I'm fine!" and everyone's like oh ok. Or have him collapse in his seat, so it looks like he fell asleep in lecture. Or make him collapse when nobody's around. Or I dunno have everyone freak out and drag him to the campus health office, where they find that he is a perfectly healthy horsey.

Now that I've actually read it i must say that it was rushed but overall was a okay read

4948666 Sorry for not replying sooner.
I get what you are saying. I will work on making it a bit more normal at that point.

4951014

When in doubt, describe some more!

GET MORE NOW YOU FREAKING GENUIS!

4955268 Of course I'll more. Why wouldn't I?

Having to Chicago for me would involve flying Delta and we'd somehow get laid over in Atlanta :facehoof:

4955325 Hey is it okay to write my own version of this? It won't be exactly the same, but it will have some of those major points and stuff.

Where did you lost all punctuation marks on description I dont know how to read it so Ill not read the story Im afraid that my brain will burst

4956895 Sorry about that my PR abandoned me in the middle of this.

4955439 It doesn't have to be Chicago. I could change that absurdly easily.
4956223 I guess though I recommend that a group be made.

4957377

I was attempting to make a joke:twilightblush:

4957383 Ah. Wow. :ajsleepy: Kinda tired due to the time here otherwise I would have noticed.

Why does it say this was published on September 2nd yet it says the first chapter was posted on the 15th of June? :rainbowhuh: Anyways great chapter, but like everyone else is saying, it felt rushed. I think maybe after you finish this story you should redo this chapter. But I loved the concept! :pinkiehappy:

4960128 I was distracted. I had to change it as well.

Welp, good to see this getting updates.
NOT.

Actually, don't rush yourself. You know what'll happen.

4981463 I actually published this about a week ago.

4981685 I just realized a few minutes before you replied.
I apologize for my stupidity.

Sam is so advanced, he's his own bathroom. :derpytongue2:

I'm working on the next chapter.
Sorry I was busy.

One suggestion (if you haven't done it already), what if a person's OC is the opposite gender to them? Gender Transformation happens and so does a Teen rating.

5077666 Alright. True enough. Thanks for reminding me.

5077704 You can still keep the Everyone rating if you want, but gender transformation won't have many options.

Honestly I was debating having Andy swap genders. Thanks for reminding me.
Andy. Be prepared to lose your manhood.

1 million years later the story updates

5207560
Sorry. Its a collab and someone asked to join.
Feel free to start one of your own. Just join the group. OC Tales.
When you get there PM me.

5207870 ive been in oc tales for 3 weeks but thing is ive never made an oc I actualy like... because I cant draw... well

5214079
No need to make a pic.
Just write it.
I don't have an image for this story.

4945470 Agreed. If I wasn't already busy writing several other stories I'd probably write a side story to this. Though much less rushed.

5225435

I've always been a sucker for transformation fics

5326756 More of an "OhMyGodSoMuchInformationToBeProcessedIn1000Words" kind of what.

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