AppleMac? Macinjack?
Three fresh apples fell into a basket, landing atop the hill of apples already forming within. Applejack's hooves recoiled from the impact with the tree and landed gracefully on the ground as more apples fell, landing in the basket. She removed her hat briefly and wiped off beads of sweat from her brow, staring at the hot sun. She took in a deep breath of the fresh fall air and made her way to the next tree with the basket in mouth.
Rinse and repeat.
The day rolled on, each passing hour the baskets of apples piling up on each other next to the barn. Applejack tired quickly in the sun, taking regular breaks to rejuvenate her strength.
"Where is Big Macintosh?" muttered Applejack as she rested underneath the shade of a tree. "He should be here helping."
As if by some author's willed coincidence, Big Macintosh appeared in the distance. Applejack sprung to her hooves and trotted over to meet him halfway, bursting with exigence. She picked out a few choice words for him.
"Big Macintosh where have you been!" she yelled, closing in on him.
"Applejack," he said, "I have something to tell you."
"Ah have been working on the farm ALL DAY!"
"Listen Applejack-"
"You know I can't handle these trees all by myself, you said it yourself not too long ago!"
"Applejack I love you."
"Love you too big brother, but that doesn't change the fact that I need your help here on the farm."
"No, I love you Applejack." Big Macintosh pulled a rose out of his saddlebag and put on a smile.
"Uhhhhh," Applejack backed away hesitantly.
"I know we're related and this is sudden, but I wrote you this poem."
Applejack did not know how to deal with the situation, she simply stood, frozen in shock.
"Here goes," said Big Macintosh.
Applejack's eyes refused to blink, afraid that when they opened he'd still be there, and that she'd have to accept it was reality.
Big Macintosh read off of the paper.
"My love for you burns like a thousand apples
I know you're my sister, and we're both Apples
But I cannot contain my love like I cannot not eat apples.
I love you as much as I love apples."
Applejack stumbled around, unable to comprehend reality anymore. Then, she shook her head, understanding what was going on.
"You're literate?!" she yelled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So this will be your cell," said Nurse Redheart, "And you'll be staying in solitary confinement forever!"
Big Mac walked into the cell.
"Sorry about the whole disowning thing, too," said Redheart, "But you're a creepy, incestuous freak."
She closed the door.
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Can't say I heard of this as a thing. I guess this is just a joke on incest pairings in general.
But obviously the most important thing to take away...Big Mac can read and write. Who knew?
*My first "first" post. It's a cornucopia of firsts.
That legit made me laugh out loud
I don't think they'd go that far with the whole disowning him and crazy institution, but I'll chalk this one to Equestrianism.
Also, the part where I got you to read this spoiler which had nothing related to it was hilarious.
Cheers
~Cosmic
Ahahahahahahaha! Well played, good sir.
I did not expect this update, but that doesn't matter, you sir made me laugh.
THIS EXISTS OUTSIDE OF CLOP!!!
Hilarious, simply hilarious especially
Not too mention that ending.
Good to have you back.
Oh my gawd, dat poem!
Glad to see this updated!
Huh, well that could've gone better.
2208812 Curse you and your false spoiler traps!
HolycrapIcan'tbelievethisupdated.
Huh, so incestuous Apples beat out Discordian hijinks as the next chapter. Who would've thought? I didn't even know this sort of ship was so... pervasive? popular?
Ah, you're back! Great! I honestly hope this fic will never be marked "complete". I mean, as the show goes on there will be more ships anyway, right? Plus these are always hilarious. This one was totally awesome by the way. Macinjack is a great name, but a terrible ship.
Wow so incest is taken really that seriously huh, I know AJ would try to help him and everything, but then again this fic is about over the top reactions to shipping in general.
Hmm..... I'm not gonna give a judgement on incest and the morales that follow. That said, I'm an only child, ao I wouldn't know.
Ok, I just wrote 2 minutes ago that Twidash was the funniest chapter, but I have to reevaluate my judgement. I lost it at "I wrote you a poem".
That poem is a masterpiece.
Also, no relationship is wrong if it is based on informed consent.
2209035 You have parents, and you might have cousins. I think you're free to pass judgment.
2209110
True. Meh. I've never tried it, and apparently I can't since it's illegal.
I feel the story would have ended a lot neater if left at the literate explanation.
The last bit seemed to deflate the climax a little. It was the second beat of a joke that already had two beats: Poem and literacy
The word is incestuous, not incestual.
And I am offended. So offended that I give you a thumbs up, when I'm done making out with my brother.
Stereotypes Ahoy!
No but really, I lol'd.
I love this story more than it hurts to not not abstain from not never eating apples.
Ok Applejack's last line was AMAZING! however it was a little...
awkward. And incest although it's bad isn't THAT bad. Scientifically it's not good to mix genes and stuff but there's also the cultural interperitation that needs to be taken into account. Equestria may actually allow for incest to exist. We just don't know. But assuming it's a kid show then no. I don't think this is possible.
scene was ok. I would say perfect but there's Applejack's reaction (although creative) it didn't portray the proper reaction.
"No. Big Mac, it ain't happenin'. Now get back tah werk."
...
people ship this?
2209232 Yah I contemplate these things, I was debating leaving it at the literate part to strengthen the punchline but in the name of the title (How it would actually happen) I decided that I was kind of obligated to put in the ending part, or else this stops being the fic I intended it to be (realistic views on shipping) and starts becoming a stand-alone comedy. Sigh, I can't please everybody but I try.
2209549
hello joker WELCOME TO THE INTERNET!
2209790 I wouldn't quite call the chapter before this one a "realistic" take on TwiDash, but whatever...
I think you meant 'Incest is bad, kids!' (or some other punctuation mark). Written like that it sounds like bad kids are incest. In other words every bad kid is incest. Which makes no sense.
2210168 But incest IS caused by bad kids. Kids having SEX!
Sex is bad and should never happen! NEVER!!!
If you can't reproduce by binary fission, you shouldn't. And I have no ulterior motive whatsoever...
*Alondro suddenly divides. He looks at the clone and sighs.* You couldn't have picked a worse time. Oh well, begin the invasion.
2210060 I explained it somewhere before in these comments and can't be arsed to find it but that particular chapter wasn't meant to be realistic or keep the characters in character as that wasn't what was being parodied. The concept was being parodied and the ridiculousness of the idea was being satirized, and as a result the characters and plot were arbitrary among the actual goal of the parody.
But yah, that chapter wasn't meant to be realistic, but I'd still like to keep them on the line of realism when the parody targets the specific ship.
You updated!
I missed you.
Mac in jack
....
Yes. Just...just yes.
This makes me laugh. I like it. More.
2209549 I think people would see this ship as a past (in adolescence years) "one night/too much cider/too drunk to recognize each other" thing; even then in most cases, it was only meant to give legitimacy to the theory of Apple Bloom being AJ's and Big Mac's daughter, itself a running gag at one time.
TRUTH
Another brilliant chapter!
That poem was hilarious. 
Are you planing/Have you considered doing rule 63 ships. Like, Twilight Sparkle x Dusk Shine, Rarity x Elusive, ... Applejack x Applejack?
This chapter was completely "Meh". No real effort given.
Oh THANK GOD you're back.
I wouldn't think this ship particularly popular - in contrast to Twixie and whatnot - but oh my god was it funny. I think the last bit did take away some of the fluency in the story, in comparison to the "You're literate?" line, but otherwise, you're bloody brilliant.
Simply brilliant.
Oh and LOOK WHO'S BACK!
I forgot how good these little fics are!
GENIUS!
but they are southern, incest is just another game for the whole family to play for them
But... my wincest
.
I didn't know they they taught farm ponies words now. Whatever next, talking parrots?
2211983 any suggestions?
2213543 You should do Twi/Shining next.
2213696 I think FiW already parodied that one pretty good and I think incest has already been put to rest. I don't want to have two wincest chapters.
2213805 Fair enough
This.. Just this... love it! XD