Cross raid a pirate's heart part 2
James was waiting on the deck and blinked when Gai returned with a familiar figure.
“Sis? When did you get here I thought you were back at Castle Eclipse!” He asked, making her freeze.
“Um, well…” she said laughing nervously.
“You snuck in here with me and Chrysalis, then snuck off on your own to follow Gai, didn't you.” James stated groaning as he facepalmed.
He turned to Gai, “sorry about her, she has the habit of sneaking off and causing trouble even back when she was human. Scared the crap out of us when she did it at the mall a few times and got lost. Looks like she went and did it again, sis get home before I decide to have you clean the ship as punishment for following me here and running off again.”
With a wide eyed look Beth vanished through a portal, “anything but that! This ship is huge! I'm going!” She yelped and I shook my head.
“God damn it, I really didn't think my twin would still have that habit... and this time she was as much a ninja as I can be at times” he sighed pinching the bridge of his nose.
“It’s fine, I guess. Really I’m more worried about what she may have seen there,” Gai replied, scratching his head.
“Yeah, fair warning: she is incredibly friendly to people and can get into trouble that way, though she seemed tense. Did you say something to offend her?” James asked giving Gai a look.
“Nope, got no idea what you’re talking about James,” Gai said, giving him his best poker face, “I just tend to have that effect on girls. Anyways, I had my contact put their feelers out, we should have a lead in about a few hours.”
“Oh great, so you are the type to not think before you speak. That explains why my sister was tense.” He sighed, “anyway, looks like while we’re waiting, I can try and teach your crew something that can help out in the future,” James said thinking of what he knew in terms of fighting.
“That would be helpful, though they haven’t graduated as Gokaigers just yet. They’re still apprentices.”
“Just going to teach them something handy for crowd control, don't worry. It's variable in nature. Believe it or not not just unicorns and alicorns can use magic among the ponies,” James smiled.
“Dash can already use her ambient magic, but Pip and Flurry could use it as well...” Gai said, rubbing his chin, “I guess that would be ok.”
“Good, I'll get on it after everyone has eaten… say do you know what happened to the local Changelings? They are good informants during this kind of crisis,” James nodded before looking curious.
“Nopony’s seen a changeling in around a decade, they hid themselves after Zangyack invaded, and haven’t come out since. Of course, they’ve tried to find them, but so far no luck.” Gai replied, turning to the Galleon’s living quarters, “time for dinner! Can’t kick ass on an empty stomach!” And with that, Gai marched off.
James shook his head and followed after, “well, if anything I'm being reminded of Naruto. Guy can sometimes be focused solely on food,” he chuckled.
“Oi, there are some things only a good meal can cure. And Kettle’s the best doctor I’ve got, so come on!”
“Hai, Gai-san” James smiled before chasing after him.
After the meal, James stood on the deck looking at the four current ponies of the crew.
“What I'm about to teach you four is something I’ve been planning on teaching back in my Equestria. Dash, Gai mentioned you had a grip on your pegasus magic right? How long has it been since you last used it with clouds? Navi told me how you were imprisoned. So I got to know if what I am going to teach you is going to be easy if you forgot how to use the basics of your magic,” James started looking at the four while his Wife stood with them joining in the lesson.
“Depends on what you're actually teaching us, right?” Asked Rainbow confused at why that was important.
“Because I'm going to teach you to channel elemental magic into your weapons. As former weather manager for ponyville your natural elements are wind, water and lightning. The power of storms themselves. This is a method I came up with to train in a elemental version of one of a keyblade users techniques: the Strike Raid. The elemental magic is closely tied to your personality. Take Twilight Sparkle for example, she was passionate about learning and applying knowledge. She would put her heart into mastering her magic. In Flurry’s case she has access to a good range of elemental magic but her strongest looks to be wind and water. Pip you’re likely a wind elemental, mainly along side earth because of your eager yet hard personality, along with some fire from being passionate about defeating Zangyack as well. I don't know much about Kettle to get a read of his personality, so we’ll have to resort to trial and error.”
A white, fluffy creature with red devil wings and a big red nose popped up onto James’ shoulder.
“As a demonstration, I'll teach you all how to use the normal Strike Raid first. Which is why I tracked down this Moogle on the ship to enchant the cutlasses and the flintlocks to have the same properties as a keyblade... for the most part, anyway. It helps make them a better magic medium. My wife’s shield has the same properties, so she will help teach the technique if you need assistance,” James said as the Moogle flew over handing each of the four a cutlass and a flintlock.
Turning towards a training dummy he’d set up for this, James summoned his Lunar Nocturne keyblade and threw it at the dummy making it whirl as it spun through the air, trailing crescent moons before striking the dummy and returning to James’ hand, only for the action to be repeated three more times.
“This technique is good for mid to long range, and thanks to the enchantments, you won't be unarmed for long. Now, here is a demonstration for the elemental version” James stated before letting his sword become charged with magic before moving it like a certain spell making the blade look like it was covered in ice before tossing it in a Strike Raid. On striking the dummy, it froze solid.
“As you can see, for the elemental version you have to know how magic moves to get a reaction in the way you want. You can also use this for normal combat as a separate technique on its own. For the ice version, you have to feel the magic cool down and become rigid. These techniques become handy for facing a large amount of foes and even for dazing a single one if done properly. For lightning, it has to move quickly and rapidly. There are also certain tiers to the techniques. I'll let you figure out the rest of the applications on your own.”
More dummies popped up.
“For now practice Strike Raid on these dummies I’ve got set up. To recall your weapon, just imagine yourself tugging a kind of line attached to your weapon. Chrysalis here will oversee your training in this and time you on it. Though she will join you when it comes to the elemental raids. Good luck, I'll be talking to your Captain for a bit” James stated, chuckling inwardly at the amazed expressions on the four faces.
“Before I go, one last tip. It helps if you let your emotions guide the magic as what you feel effects the technique itself. Rainbow, you know this having seen Twilight do it when she was trying to figure out the Pinkie Sense,” He added before walking away to leave them to their training.
He found Gai sitting on the prow of the ship, legs crossed and eyes closed in meditation, “You know, Rainbow’s not that rusty, training like hers doesn’t go away that easily,” he said, his eyes still closed, “and with her somewhat competitive nature, she’s likely to master Strike Raids by tomorrow.”
“I know but I figured it would help her to redo the basics. Better control from the foundation so to speak. Plus, people don't really know about how emotions effect magic. Changelings like my wife are masters at that part of magic. I quickly mastered Strike Raid because of Discord. Turned Luna suicidal with his dulling color trick before he was sealed into stone the first time. Plus it would help in the long run.”
“I guess,” Gai said, not breaking his meditation.
“So do you know where Spike is in this world? It might help if you locate him and convince him to be a blacksmith he has that profession back home” James said with a chuckle watching the four practicing the recall of their weapons.
“Spike’s not someone I should bother. Ever.” Gai replied, a slight edge to his voice.
“Also that Moogle I found has agreed to being the mechanic to help keep this ship going. Technically, the Galleon counts also as a Gummi ship in Kingdom Hearts terms. You're going to need a mechanic at some point.”
“True, but I’d rather pick members of my crew myself.” Gai groused, lazily opening one eye, “If he’s gonna stick around, I might as well give the little guy a name.”
Thinking of something James sighed and pulled out the Gokai Skeletal ranger key looking at the skull based helmet of it. This caught Gai’s eye.
“What’s that? Looks like a Ranger Key, but there definately hasn’t ever been a Sentai member like that.”
“That's because for all intents and purposes he didn't exist normally. This Gokaiger key is actually a impossibility. This is the key of the undead pirate who guards the realm of the dead, Gokai Skeletal. A key I designed in a story back before I was Displaced. Which means that the original character I created to use this key existed somewhere and something sent the key across reality. I based it off the skeleton key pirates used to use in the past. You can't possibly imagine what that has done to my mind on figuring out how it exists” James told him with a look at the key still trying to come to terms with that. The implications alone were scary enough.
“Hmm...” Gai hummed as he stared at the impossible Ranger Key in James’ hand, “at this point, I’m just willing to just roll with it, fact of the matter is that it exists, I’m sure the reason why is going to present itself eventually.” Gai said, shrugging.
At that moment the key begins to glow, blinding the two as they found themselves in a white void that both recognized.
“This is-!” James said wide eyed.
“What’re we doing here…?” Gai mumbled, looking around.
“That would be because of me” said a younger voice as walking up to them was a blue haired teen in a purple tattered pirate coat and jeans with boots.
“Tamashii Souto!” James said, a bit surprised and nervous.
“You know this guy?” Gai asked, cocking an eyebrow towards James.
“Remember when I said this key was for my OC?” Asked James giving him a deadpan look. “He’s Gokai Skeletal” he pointed at Tamashii.
“Ok...” Gai muttered, turning to Tamashii, “so, what does James’ old OC want with us?”
“Simple, to let you be able to give my powers to someone to help out your world. Basco won't expect SEVEN Gokaigers. That should throw him off, though what do you mean I'm a OC?” Asked Tamashii after explaining.
“Don’t worry about it. Though, Basco is my mess to clean up, I’ll be the one to do so.” Gai stated, “I won’t say no to an additional member though.”
“This is awkward already. In a way I created your key” James sighed scratching his head.
“Ah… I can see why that's awkward and yeah that I can understand. Also, I came to hand you my remaining gear to go with the key. Just ask James here what they are as if he made my key, he knows the rest of my gear.” Said Tamashii mirroring my action before clearing his throat.
Gai turned back to James, “well?”
“he uses his own version of the mobirates called a Skullbirate, a scythe version of your spear and his own skipper that becomes it's own mech. Plus his own extra mode called reaper mode. That's pretty much it” James told him as it has been years since he thought of those.
“So basically, Gokai Silver. Just with a bit more edge?” Gai asked.
“More like a mix of regular Gokaigers with a ghost theme. It is kind of his thing. I was inspired by the ghost ship movie there.” James shrugged.
“Well, like I said, I won’t turn down an additional crew member, just need to find one more person than I originally intended,” Gai said, turning back to Tamashii, “welcome aboard, Souto.”
“Then we are finished here, though remember it's just my powers, my time has already past. Just make sure whoever does get my mantle has enough spiritual awareness. I'm known as the Guardian of the land of the dead for a reason,” said Tamashii.
“Got it, but it’s always good practice to welcome someone who’s lending their power to you. Doesn’t matter if they’ve kicked the bucket already,” Gai said holding out his hand, “looking forward to working with you, Souto-kun.”
He clasped his hand and gave it a shake. “Likewise, and to let you know I'm sure the Gai I know is proud of you. Just don't be hard on your crew and your set” Tamashii laughed.
With that the two found themselves back on the ship. James looked at the key before handing it to Gai. It glowed as a skeleton themed mobirates formed with a brace with a keyhole and a scythe gun appeared on the deck nearby.
“Well, that was something” James said, noting that there was also a Ranger Key of his keyblade armor there as well.
“Definitely a first,” Gai sighed, “guess things are just gonna get weirder the longer I’m at this ‘Displaced’ thing, huh?” He snapped a portal open under the newly acquired equipment, “now then… we wait for the information to come through. Should be here around closing time...”
“You did remember to let your informant know how to contact you right?” Asked James not sure if he did.
“Please, she’s been at this a long time. We got over that particular hiccup a long time ago,” Gai said, waving his hand dismissively, “she just can’t get the message to us during business hours.”
“Just making sure. Say have you ever met Insarn? I'm not exactly sure on if she actually died. It's been awhile since I saw the show” James said, leaning on the railing to look at the landscape from there.
“No, Basco’s the only high-ranking Zangyack official on Equus, pretty sure the Conquest Fleet has better things to do than to mess around near a planet they’ve already conquered.”
“Wait I just thought of something. What happened to a certain mirror Twilight kept? The one where Sunset Shimmer is” James asked confused on if Zangyack found it.
“I don’t know if Rainbow told you, but Ponyville’s pretty much cinders by now. Basco knew exactly where to hit to make sure the Equestrians had no resources left to defend themselves or run.”
“Shit, unless Rainbow saw what happened you might not be able to warn Sunset about Zangyack. If they got into that universe well that's two worlds in danger.” James sighed feeling that things definitely looked grim on the odds here.
“I don’t think we need to worry about Sunset, that mirror portal can only be opened once every moon without Twilight’s modifications, and I’m sure she destroyed the mirror itself in order to protect her friends on the other side. Otherwise, I know for a fact there’d be two Rainbow Dashes here.”
“Well that's a relief, I'm going to take a short nap and get some rest. Wake me when you got news” James said looking up at the moon and heading towards the group who was packing up and nodded to them as he passed.
“Will do, James...” Gai muttered as he resumed his meditation again.
“Okay what did your informant find out?” Asked James once everyone gathered to do a briefing.
“All we’ve got is one incident where noises had been heard deep in the caverns under Canterlot Castle… or what remains of it anyway,” Gai began, reading off the message on his Gokai Cellular, “when ponies went to investigate, they found the Heartless symbol splashed all over the walls, as if someone had painted them there.”
Gai put away the Cellular, “so, we’ve either found them, or we have a lead on some vandals that happen to know what the symbol looks like. Either way, it’s worth looking into.”
“So the old Canterlot Caverns, those should still be there in the mountain. Chrysalis can teleport us in there and we can sneak our way up that way. It's the same place she once trapped Cadence back home.” James noted looking at a map.
“I already already apologized for that, Flurry. I was desperate for my Hive at the time” she told the princess across from her. She had made the mistake of telling Flurry about how she met her parents while Gai was away, and was still trying to make up for her part in that adventure. Even if she wasn't the Chrysalis from this world.
“Regardless, James and I will investigate the Castle, it could still be nothing after all,” Gai said, glaring at Flurry for her stubbornness, “we’ll call if it turns out to be the real deal.”
“Right, well better get ready hun” James told his wife as he stood up and followed Gai.
“I’ve got this,” Gai said, snapping a portal in front of them, “Chryssi should stay here in case more Heartless show up. We can handle a little spelunking on our own, right James?”
“Dude I work pretty well with my wife. Plus your weapons are enchanted to be able to be fight them now. Plus this is still a thing” James said as his wife vanished as as orb of light covered him, when it died down he was now in crimson versions of his clothes and held two keyblades. “Drive Forms are a result of our bond” he explained with as smirk.
“Fine, we’ll be right back then, Rainbow and Navi are in charge.” Gai said, stepping through the portal.
“Aye!” came the reply from the crew as the portal snapped shut behind Gai and James.
James took as look at the familiar caverns with green crystals. “I'm surprised Zangyack hasn't found these yet. These crystals are like magic batteries, if used right” he said with with a whistle.
“Kinda helps when the criminal scum of Canterlot make anything more than patrols nearly impossible,” Gai said, walking forward, “this way, the report said that the first symbol was further in.”
Walking down it they eventually found the area with the Heartless emblem all over the place.
“Yeesh, these are as detailed as Namine’s drawings! But why draw these like this? It makes no sense at all?” James said examining one.
“Since when has Kingdom Hearts made sense?” Gai grumbled as he inspected one of the symbols, “this one’s still relatively fresh. Culprit must be nearby.”
“it stopped making sense when Xehanort revealed he can time travel,” James said with with a wince before nodding to Gai.
“Seriously, when can dig a grave for that bastard?” Gai groused as he inspected more of the symbols.
“You’re not the first to think so. Hey these symbols are pointing in the same direction! They must be the path the culprit took!” James said before noticing something about the emblems. “this is starting to feel like a trap.”
“Pretty sure that was the intention, this doesn’t look like the random act of a brainless Heartless.”
“The only one who might do something like this is a certain former fairy turned witch dragon” James said with a frown.
“Oi, she wasn’t totally evil, or were you Displaced before that movie came out?” Gai joked, following the trail of emblems.
“The latter, I got teased enough by fellow Displaced for missing it. Though it explained a lot that was missing from that story” James told him knowing not to take offense.
“Shame, it was a good one.”
Soon enough they could hear voices from down the tunnel and they started to slow down to sneak down it and eavesdrop. James and Gai peered inside the cavern.
A pair of colossal double doors dominated the room ahead. Both doors each having a motif of a sun and moon respectively. Various runes and spell circles meant to seal the door shut were carved into the designs, all centered around a lock shaped like a starburst over a crystalline heart, a large black keyhole looked as though it had burned it’s way through the material however. Before the doors was a massive suit of armor, stoically standing guard over the doors, a large Heartless Emblem left no doubt as to why it was there. James gave off a annoyed sigh before donning his keyblade armor.
“You take the legs I get the hands then tag team the torso work for you? This thing won't be easy if it switches to the opposite armor. I remember how strong that thing gets in that form” James offered up a strategy looking at the heartless.
“As good a plan as any… on your go?” Gai asked, unfolding the Gokai Spear and preparing himself to lunge at the giant Heartless.
“on three… one, two, three!” James counted down as both of them went after their designated targets. James leapt at one of the hands slashing with his keyblade building momentum as he spun keeping himself aloft which worked to keep the other hand from knocking him away by striking it too. With a quick mutter of aero and fire the technique made him look like a firestorm which helped destroy the limbs he was facing.
Gai’s Spear crackled with electricity as he stabbed the prongs into the knee of the giant Heartless, grabbing the spear in both hands, he tore it across, rending a line of lightning to the other leg. Destroying the limbs with a loud sizzle of electrified metal.
With their targets taken care of both made short work of the torso using hit and run tactics not letting it be able to target one without the other covering until it shuddered and fell a large crystalline heart rising from it and it vanished.
“Phew, guess together we are quite high level” James said resting his keyblade on his shoulder. Turning to the keyhole that was revealed he pointed his keyblade at it. Streams of light gathered at the tip before it released a beam into the keyhole and with a loud click sound it vanished letting a object drop from where it was. Curious, James picked it up.
“A ranger key… of my keyblade armor! Guess this is yours Gai!” James said tossing it to the space pirate. Looking around he sighed. “guess whoever was here is long gone now. They must have missed the keyhole and set the guard armor as a well, guard, for the area just in case. Let's head back you won't have anymore heartless trouble at least.”
Gai caught the key, staring at it. It looked like a regular suit of armor crossed with one of the main Gokaiger suits. There was a sudden hissing noise as Gai snapped his head up to see several pools of dark energy appearing around the cavern.
“Admiral Akbar would be having a field day right now...” Gai muttered, “Oi, James, looks like Murphy decided to screw us.”
Looking up James frowned. “those are corridors of darkness used by organization Xlll! Those are not heartless portals! Their Nobody portals! By the look of it it's the twelve currently existing members!” he said recognizing the human sized holes of darkness.
With that revealed twelve beings in black coats appeared on the roof of the ruined castle.
“Well, well, look at this a keyblade wielder I thought they died out about eight years ago” said one of the figures sounding like a surfer.
‘guess I know when in the timeline I'm at now, two years before Sora gained a keyblade’ James thought glaring at the center figure of the group and the tallest one at that.
“What brings beings like you here! I thought you prefered to watch from the shadows why reveal yourselves now” James stated gripping his keyblade.
“Oh looks like someone is well informed it seems. We just wanted to see why there was a influx of Heartless being destroyed recently and now we know” said a cold calculating voice that made James glare more in hate.
“how about we test your skills little keyblade wielder.” said the only female of the group with a sadistic tone.
“I'm going to have to decline there!” James said as he threw down a smoke bomb which covered the area in smoke and when one of the figures made a gust of wind blow it away both James and Gai were gone.
“smart of him. He knew he wasn't ready to face us yet so he pulled a retreat. But it will only be a matter of time before we cross paths again” said one of the teen sized figures.
“We got what we came for let's return” said their leader as they left this world.
-Gokai galleon-
James panted as he leaned against the railing a bit shook up. “Damn it! I thought I had more time before they caught wind of me! At least I have a time frame to get ready more” he said looking up to meet the worried eyes of his wife.
“What the hell are you talking about” Asked Rainbow.
“How much does your Captain know about kingdom hearts?” James asked thinking on how much to explain to them depending on the answer.
“Enough to know that Organization Xlll is bad news, if they’re here, then we’re in for another world’s worth of problems...” Gai grumbled, “would’ve probably been better to fight them off.”
“Nope not a good idea. For one each member is a master of a elemental nature. Their leader Xemnas is the remains of the person Ansem seeker of darkness originated from.”
“Only one element mastered for each member?” Gai asked, “I’d like to see them get through Sensei’s teachings then.”
“Better not, for here’s the kicker: Xemnas is a former keyblade master in another keyblade user’s body. Who knows how much experience he retains there. It took Sora and Riku together to beat him. Which if what they’re saying is right, won't be for another 4 years” James sighed, “I'm not at the level to fight them yet and I hoped to stay off their radar for a while longer”
“Even so, if they’re here, then there’s some kind of plan involved. Sitting around and waiting for it to happen isn’t going to do much in our favor.”
“I don't really have a choice on that front, their plan is to use a keyblade holder to defeat so many heartless and create a false kingdom hearts. With them knowing about me, now they will soon have five of them to pick from. Luckily they don't know about Jexmas my own nobody, so he should be safe. Until we are both ready to help stop them. They possibly left back to their base off world so it's high time me and my wife returned. I got to give the others the news. Oh, and when Halloween swings by your welcome over to my world we’ll be visited by the Pumpkin King Jack, I could introduce you sometime then”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Gai replied, holding out a fist, “‘till next time then.”
James smirked and bumped it. “you know it! Later Gai, and you guys better make sure he doesn't do anything too idiotic I'm sure there might be stories to hear next time we meet!”
“Oi!” Gai sputtered indignantly, “the hell do you mean by ‘idiotic’!?”
“Anything that embarrasses you more than the original Gai has endured at least the kind that ends up as blackmail or teasing material!” James laughed.
“Just get back to your verse already,” Gai grumbled while crossing his arms, his ears burning red.
With that both keyblade wielder and changeling vanished the token falling to the deck.
“Gai…? Mind telling me about this Organization Xlll stuff James was talking about?” Dash asked, giving her Captain a quizzical look.
Gai just sighed and scratched his head, withdrawing the two new keys he’d received and picking up James’ token from the deck, “honestly Dash? This is another thing that’ll keep you sane by not knowing enough about. Especially with Kingdom Hearts’ crazy timeline.”
With that, Gai turned and headed for the Galleon’s living quarters, juggling the three items in his hand.
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I sincerely hope that this Organization XIII does not have any MLP characters.
7715555 it's the actual one not the displaced version. As you might now know this story takes place two years before sora's journey eight years after birth by sleep. In other words this is the version before Roxas and xion became members. I think enough time has past to get to the next arc I had planned. The mane six getting their keyblades!
7729926 okay look I understand where your coming from here. But you have to understand. When I started this story I was completely winging it. I don't actually know medical procedure so I couldn't go into much detail. The only ones who actually did the surgery was twilight, Fluttershy and nurse redheart, the others just made sure to hand them the tools and made sure they were sterile. On the Chrysalis bit I always seen her as desperate for her kind and had lost her way in canon. Which is shown in her latest appearence. She was stuck in her ways. My character at least mitigated that way early befriending her even after she was under disguise. As for the other twilight sparkle part, Celestia and Luna didn't even know he picked up a student before or that she was their twilight's ancestor. As for the last name I had to go with something to prevent identity theft if my actual name gets put on the internet. My sister was a victim of that in collage and I didn't want to find out I had my identity stolen because I put my name out on the internet. At some point I will rewrite those early chapters to fix those points but remember this is a AU things are bound to be different this is not purely Mlp so the story is going to be already off the rails then usual. I got a actual plot in mind now and I would appreciate it if you respect my decisions for how my story is going to go. Plus think on this Luna and Celestia both had a 1000 years to reflect on the events that happened to my character. Celestia didn't move his statue not even sure if he would ever be brought back to normal. There was a risk of getting destroyed at some point by ignorant ponies. So her best bet was to leave him there where he wouldn't be found until he was cured. Luna regretted doing that and at some point will have to talk with him about how it ended up like that. It's hard enough to concentrate on this story to get it to where I want it to and how to do it. I don't want any more stress about this topic. That said I thank you for pointing those out but try not to make me cancel this in a fit of rage. I know I have flaws early on I just can't be sure how to word it at times. I know it was random at the start but that doesn't mean it will be later on. I don't need the headaches when I am trying to get this story in order. Also Celestia and Luna do care but you have to understand nobody is perfect not even me. it will take time before their bond returns to what it was before nightmare moon. If you haven't noticed the heartless was brought to equestria because of King Sombra as he is the antagonist for this first half of the story. In the later half it will go into more kingdom hearts. As for the CMC can you not imagine them with keyblades after finding out their talents in helping others understand where they belong? That's practically connecting to other hearts one of the main staples of the kingdom Hearts mechanics. The mane six as well for that very reason. Now I'll let you think on this while I go back to working on this story.
This is a great fanfic! Oh & would you be able to see about doing a crossover with Show Stopper's "A Heart Eclipsed"?
I do believe a rewrite is in order, surely you've improved since the last time you've updated, right?
Pretty good, but you need an editor.
8657625
...A shame this hasn't been rewritten after three months, I was even thinking of crossing-over if it did get a rewrite.
8883927
sorry a lot has happened. my place gained a lot of house guests so the noise makes it hard to concentrate as counting my other three family members and me the place has up to eleven people. hard to concentrate when the place is so lively. so yeah real life has had a major interrupt. once things calm down and the rewrite can have time to come together i might take you up on that. all i can say is season 7 might be the new starting point for when the rewrite happens. i'll post the rewrite as a new story so i can keep this one up as a reference of cast later.
8890564
I wish you the best of luck, I mean ya got 23 chapters here.
8890572
i know but if i am right the rewrite would reach quite a bit farther as adventures grow. as i do plan on having the main character world travel to worlds other than equestria and interact with others more. though mainly going to be fun to explore the new sextet from season 8 once i get to that point. right now i'm brainstorming when to have the key wielder enter in season 7. near the start is as far as i know so i'm going to take today to search youtube for a good episode to have the character enter. ... plus i mainly do non-crossover chapters on evernote while if working with someone else i use google drive. helps keep me focused on what i'm working on that way and it works for me. that said i will take suggestions for worlds in the meantime.
any idea when we can expect an update and new chapter?
Plz update
10076249
I'm sorry to tell you but this story is getting a rewrite I took a look back and realized my plot is all over the place and I just shoehorned in the relationship with chrysalis. So consider this story dead until I post the remake and put in a actual story instead of just following some stations of cannon. I'll leave the original posted so I can still see where I went wrong and what I can fix to make it better. And after everything I went through at the time years back I kinda lost sight of where the story was actually going. I'm thankful everyone who does honestly enjoy the story but I have to face facts that this needs a huge overhaul. So wait just a bit longer until I put up the new story.
Crossover anyone?