A Key in Equestria

by Kamen rider yokai

Chapter 1 The Return

Twilight sighed as she walked through the Castle of the Pony Sisters. She had decided to restore the castle and spotted something that made her confused. In the library was the statue of a human one of the beings she met on the other side of the Mirror Portal. By the looks of it this was a teen around fourteen years of age but his garment was a bit odd. There was some pendent around his neck in the shape of a crown and wore what seemed to be a hoodie, clasped in his hand was a key like sword in a pose of fright and betrayal. Judging by the look on his face. Clipped to his pants on a chain was two keychains. She left worried and curious. Why was a statue of a human here? Besides her and Sunset Shimmer no one knew of humans. And why that expression on the face. She will ask the Princess about it once she finds Spike. Later she looked in shock as her friends were causing some chaos running around. She shared a look with the rabbit that was accompanying her.

"Enough!" Shouted Twilight freezing the four mares.

"Twilight? Oh sorry" said Rainbow Dash.

"Seriously girls your causing so much damage to the place after I told Celestia I was going to fix it up" said Twilight annoyed.

"Sorry Twi guess we let that tale spook us" said Applejack.

"But seriously who is playing that organ" said Rainbow.

"Sounds like it's coming from the Ballroom" said Rarity.

The mares soon rolled their eyes. Turned out the organ player was Pinkie,

"Well now that everyone is accounted for Spike I got a letter for the Princess. I found something she might explain about" said Twilight.

She led the group to the statue she found.

"Dear Princess Celestia
I found a curious statue in the library of the old castle when looking for the original building design of the castle to aid me in restoring it. I was hoping you and Luna could come by and explain about this statue sincerely Princess Twilight Sparkle" said Twilight with Spike sending off the note.

"So Twilight what is it about this statue that confuses you" asked Rarity looking at the design on the statue.

"Notice what creature the statue is?" Asked Twilight.

"A hairless Minotaur" asked Fluttershy with the other girls nodding in agreement.

"No it's a human like what Twilight became after she chased Sunset through the mirror" said Spike.

"Spike is correct besides the two of us only Sunset Shimmer knows about humans so why is a statue of one here" said Twilight.

"What a weird sword he has kinda looks like a key" said Rainbow.

"You mean like those keyholes in that box at the tree of Harmony?" Asked Applejack.

"Maybe" shrugged the Cyan Pegasus.

"We might get our answers from the Princesses they have the answer to this as this used to be their home" said Twilight.

A flash usually associated with a transport spell flared at that moment and when it vanished both Celestia and Luna appeared.

"Where is the mysterious statue" asked Celestia as she looked around before gasping catching sight of the statue.

"T-this is" said Celestia with a shocked sounding breath.

"Princess why is there a statue of a human here and do you know who it is?" Asked Twilight concerned.

"I shall explain Twilight Sparkle after all I was the one who did this to him" said Luna guilt in her tone.

"This was during my time as Nightmare Moon while Celestia was getting the Elements of Harmony. One who I considered a brother had tried to make me see reason but in my madness I ended up using a petrification spell turning him into stone. He obviously tried to defend himself but by then it was to late. His name is James and like us he is royalty descended from 17 generations of kings in his world. But it seems I made a mistake. The spell should have lifted when you all brought me back from my own Darkness. But the Elements had taken away any knowledge of the spell. I don't know how to free him from his prison now" she said tears going down her face as she broke down crying.

"Luna why have you never told me about this. James was a friend of mine as well" said Celestia hurt in her tone.

"I already had to spend the time in the moon thinking over my desisions and even now I regret them. I'm just glad I didn't become a Heartless like James warned if I strayed to much in the Dark" said Luna head lowered in shame.

"Luna just who exactly is this James" asked Twilight.

"He is known as a Keyblade wielder. His job is to safe guard our Worlds from Darkness and prevent them being destroyed. You see that weapon in his hand. That is the mystical Keyblade a sort of sentient blade. It chooses it's wielder. James didn't gain access to it until one night he delved into his heart. One day he started using spells I never seen before in fact Pegasi back then learned to fly because of him. One such spell he called Aero created a twister of air around him that he used to jump into the air and glide which taught the pegasi how to fly and manipulate the weather. He also learned from starswirl himself on better magic control. The keyblade itself also has special powers. It can lock or unlock anything with it and can summon it from wherever it is kept when not in use" said Luna.

"Don't forget about when a Keychain is attached to the sword. The Keyblade has different forms depending on the Keychain" said Celestia.

"Wow that sounds amazing" said Twilight in awe.

Spike took a look at the statue.

"Hey I think the spell is fading now" said Spike.

Indeed it was as the statue was gaining color with sparks of magic running over the statue and with a flash of light James stumbled before collapsing to the worry of the group. Luna had blurred and caught him before he hit the ground.

"Oh James I am so sorry for that I didn't think about what would happen to you" said Luna with a sob.

"L-luna? I'm glad your back to normal" said James before he fell unconscious.

"We better get him some medical attention fast being stuck like that for over a thousand years might have left a side effect" said Celestia as the Keyblade vanished in a small flash.

"Right Ponyville General is closer here" said Applejack leading the way.

(End chapter)

Author's Note:

Well looks like things are getting set how will the mane six react to me and why was I deaged from age 20 to age 14? The answers to that are coming soon.

Comments

[ShadeBlitz]

you need an editor and prereader. other than that, good story so far

[Snow]

So... let me get this straight.
The protagonist is a self insert; taught the Pegasi how to fly despite that being a racial trait that existed well before the unification of Equestria; already has access to the various Kingdom Hearts spells with no teachers and noticably different from unicorn magic; considered a brother to the Princesses; and will be beginning the story having already undergone significant character development, barring long flash-back chapters that take away from whatever other plot you're trying to run.
...Well, at least you didn't go with something even more obnoxious like 'seventh element of harmony' or 'foalsat Celestia and Luna' or some such. I apologize but... that is really just about the only positive I can give at the moment: it's not as bad as it could be, but... not by much.

EDIT: And... he's immortal?
OK... look. I get it's tempting to just use wish fulfillment as an excuse to write fiction. I do. Earth sucks in ways I can scant describe and escapes are fun, if not necessary. The problem is that stories like this are generally not entertaining to readers who have come to expect certain standards.
The other characters are underdeveloped in their personalities, interactions seem dull and uninteresting, and you seem to be making the mistake of writing the story as if the world it's set in revolves around your character. This could even be somewhat forgivable, but your character doesn't seem to have any real flaws, is essentailly instantly accepted, and... Look, I'm just going to stop here on the negative criticism. I think you get the point.

Now for how to get better.
First, understand this: A story is not a world. A world exists independently of whatever characters you write or follow, and a story is only following one such character within that world, or a series of events tied together within that world. If you can create a world and understand it, then a story will create itself.
Second, stories are only entertaining in a classical sense if there is conflict. Conflict can mean anything that must be resolved; something that must be overcome. If the protagonist(s) are not challenged, then it is interesting only in the way a landscape painting is interesting. It's a nice view, seen once, and never really acknowledged again in any detail. No thought is spent upon it.
Third, in a world (and therefor a story) all beings have flaws, strengths, hopes, dreams, fears, and all manner of things that define who they are. In order to write an engaging story, you must have at least a workable understanding of every single character you plan to involve. If you give someone a name or use a name, you must KNOW that character as you would a friend. Otherwise they are flat. Scenery. This is especially true of the protagonist(s), or whoever the story follows.
Fourth, the presentation of the story you tell alters the reader's perceptions and reactions. Word choice, grammar, phrasing, and prose will all affect how someone feels about a character or scene. What's more, if you don't care enough to at least proof read in Microsoft Word or something, then why should anyone care enough to read?
Finally, every literary 'rule' and 'constant' can be broken. Some people frown on adverbs, some frown on first person, some despise third person omniscient, and others still simply hate certain story elements. Anything and everything can work, but the further from the standard you go, the more skill it takes to write in a way that is still enjoyable, and the more polarized certain opinions will be. It's best to learn the norm or get a working average and then experiment to define your style -- generally speaking.

Good luck.

[Hopelight]

This story is already starting to confuse me... I wonder how much mor confused I'll get reading the rest? Sounds like fun.