• Member Since 8th Jun, 2015
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DarkMagicEn-Forcer1


My is DarkMagicEn-Forcer1 I am not a brony but I did like the show. I like Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon, Team Fortress 2, Fairy Tail, Sonic and Power Rangers. When I heard about theses displace fics I count me i

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(Displace story)

Me, my Girlfriend and my other friends went to a con, you know the drill. While we were in Equestria I decided to give any of the Mane 6, CMC, Spike or Princess's who were killed from other Displace fics a second chance at life while keeping a eye on the other displace.

Image and Characters belong to their rightful owners. Prologue had been proofread by NewUnitedEmpire and Chapter 1 had been proofread by me.

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 143 )

<An interesting premise to be sure! Now I must wonder about the displaced who destroy the worlds they visit.>

You have my attention. Now progress to receive my review.

Its so far good dude. Nice Fartlestia

Interesting premise, but the large amount of grammatical mistakes and spelling errors is like getting kicked in the teeth through your eye sockets.

Better written than the prologue I suppose.

I'll track this for awhile. See where it goes.

6088809 Thank you ^^ I bet you did't smell one coming.

6089084 I did try to fix mistakes that I can find when I was reading it over.

wow this is cool needs an edit but really cool

6089596 hey look who i ran into again xD

Also, completely agree, greet story, needs an editor.

Nice story so far and found a larger version of the cover img if any want: (Not sure if it'll show but... *meh*
i.ytimg.com/vi/l_uq_TxPDXs/maxresdefault.jpg

This seems pretty cool :D

Not bad at all and don't worry to much pretty sure this has less mistakes then my first chapter:scootangel:

(If you had read the fanfic called The Crimson Fucker is Here! then you will know what clothes they are wearing.)

You can't put this immersion breaking exposition right smack dab in the middle of the story. It's just sloppy. Put an asterisk in it's place and move the line into the authors notes.

displace known as Alcard.

Displaced known as Alucard.
The whole point of the name is that it's Dracula backwards.
Displaced doesn't HAVE to be capitalized, but a lot of people seem to do it.

As all three ponies stand up looking stocked

You keep going back and forth between past and current tense. It's unsettling.
Also, I think you mean 'shocked', not 'stocked'

been destroyed by Alcard

Again, Alucard.

‘’Your version of Equestria has been destroyed by Alcard.’’ He said as all the ponies to grasp wide eyed in shock. ‘’Dear Celestia.’’ Rarity said too shock to faint. ‘’H-How did he?’’ Twilight asked while trying to figure out how Alcard destroy their Equestria. ‘’I will explain how he did it on the way to the meeting hall where your friends are waiting.’’ Dark Magician replied as he walked out the room which the ponies followed.

I... you can't have several people speaking in the same paragraph, it comes off as disjointed and messy. With each new speaker, break a new paragraph.

And thats where I stopped. I'll try reading it again in a couple chapters. It's an interesting premise, but your grammar makes my head hurt.

This brings back my early 2000's childhood, and one of my favorite games back in the day. This and Digimon season 3!

6091920 Thanks I will remember that next time.

6091927 I was thinking about doing a displace Blackwargreymon.

6091949 Heh, I was thinking about doing one about myself.

Mind explaining some of these acronyms? Not all of us read every story on fimfiction, and I'm confused as all hell.

6095923 Theses are from displace fics where one or more of the mane 6 or cmc or spike get killed. Excepted for Cupcakes that is where Pinkie kills Rainbow.

6095943 i know that, but what do the acronyms stand for? In case you didn't know, searching for the acronyms you used doesn't lead to the story, so I'm having trouble understanding exactly which displacement stories they came from.

6095989 Read the prologue it will tell you what the acronyms stand for.

6096076

Gravity of the Situation (G.O.T.S)’s Fluttershy, Right Behind You (R.B.Y)’s Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash and finally Cupcake’s Rainbow Dash.

Sorry, for some odd reason i some how skipped that part of the prologue, my bad.

6095989 R.B.Y is the displace RED Spy , G.O.T.S is the displace Kat Sifter and Raven Master T.C.F.I.H is the displace Alucard from Hellsing.

6096093 OH! That Alucard.... GOOD FUCK THAT'S OVERKILL!

I would like to point out that GOTS Fluttershy isn't dead...anymore.

6103774 I know but Dark Magician's Respawner spell can also copy the soul of any of the Mane 6, cmc, Spike or Princess's if their death was cause by being absorbed, being turn to stone by a cockatrice, get turn ethereal or get turn into a Heartless. The copy soul can remember everything the original soul can remember.

6104323 Alright, but I trust you to keep to her personality if you are going to use her

6104574 Since She the braves one out of all of the revive Fluttershys thank to Kat that should not be a problem. I will give it my best shot.

6091949 You should totally go for it then. Blackwargreymon rules.
6091927 You should also do Blackwargreymon sometime. Maybe even Renamon, Ranamon and/or the Digital World prince, NEO Drasil, the future personified and son of King Drasil...or Queen Drasil given the events that happened near the end of the manga from Digimon NEXT. Would be pretty interesting to see any of them in Equestria. Even if it's a human Displaced as them..though nothing says they can't be tricked by the Merchant or Happy Mask Salesman or someone else given the actual Dan Phantom got sent to an Equestria as a Displaced.

6142480 I am working on Blackwargreymon along with Dr Eggman, Mask and EG Rainbine.

6143974 Yeah Blackwargreymon will see the ponies as sheep while also wanting revenge on Celestia for not only betraying him but also for the murber of his only son.

Dr Eggman wants perfect harmony but he need to take over the world to do it.

Mask just want to party while giving everyone wedgie.

EG Rainbine just want to mess around.

6144032 I see. Well I do hope he's convinced not to do anything to cross the line for it. I could see him getting revenge in the most perfect and amusing ways while trying to be the hero I believe? Attack her cake supply area where she keeps her personal stash and also point out to her the flaws she made in her life to get her to realize she screwed up bad in her life, his son, Luna's downfall, Discord's eventually needing to be stoned, ect.

Eggman makes sense. Hopefully everypony can convince him to do so in a harmonic way.

6144202 When he seen ponies as sheep he doesn't brother with them. For his revenge will issue a fight to the death to Celestia at midnight alone. For each midnight that Celestia doesn't show then he will kill one of her family members.

The perfect harmony that Dr Eggman wants is a perfect balance of Chaos and Harmony a way to fix the flaw hamony that Equestria has. He will give everyone two choices join him and became a cyborg to help spread perfect harmony or get turn into a robot.

6144269 Actually kill them or bluff it out with a fake or something to get the point across, getting Celestia to show up? Cause actually killing them will in turn cause Equestria to go into an imbalance and given how the balance is when disrupted, basically do the same thing Kurata did in Data Squad. And then there are the big bads showing up like Tirek. Digimon or not, I think even Blackwargreymon would have a problem fighting him off.

Interesting. But will that actually be a good thing or will he end up making things worse by attempting it? I mean this IS Eggman we're talking about, Displaced or not. If he has the personality then this is the guy who thought it would be a good idea to Unleash a 4000 year old extremely bucked off Water God of Destruction loose on the world and a planetary God by splitting the Earth into 7 pieces with a laser attempting to control them. Giving him the idea to force a harmonic convergence without all the logical and necessary preparations needed to prevent it blowing up in his face is the equivalent to bringing Kefka to Equestria to do whatever the tartarus he wants. And we all know how that would turn out given FFVI's story without the heroes to stop him right.

Ok, not a bad premise, but I heavily insist on a beta reader or someone to spell-check your work. Just in the first few lines of the story alone.

Deep within a forest there was a town, that’s have been builded not a few months ago, called Neo Domio Town. In this town has many places. You know the usual things in a town houses, shops, cafes, a farm, a library and a school. Did I forget to mention a huge tower on the border of the tower? Well there is one and that’s where we start our story. Right inside the town in a room called the Dimension respawner. In this room there are ten circles in a big circle. Three of the circles started to glow dark purple and three antro ponies appeared laying down asleep. (If you had read the fanfic called The Crimson Fucker is Here! then you will know what clothes they are wearing.)

Deep within a forest, there was a town that was built only a few months ago. The name of this hidden place was called Neo Domino Town. It was typical of a town in many respects; having the usual houses, shops, a farm, library and school. Did I forget to mention the huge tower on the border of the town? Well, there is one, and that is where we begin our story. Inside the Tower is a room called the Dimensional Re-Spawner. The room itself had ten spell circles on the floor, arranged in a circular formation. Three of these arcane forms began to glow a dark purple, and three anthro ponies appeared laying down asleep.

That was just the first paragraph. I rephrased a fair bit of it, but look at the difference. I'm not trying to bash you or anything, just insisting on you getting a bit more help with this. I like the idea and think it can be great. Just get someone who knows a thing or two about editing and such, trust me the results will be worth it.

And for the record, I'm working full time, no way I can do it with possible deadlines over my head, sorry. Best of luck, and please keep this in mind.

6144934 Blackwargreymon will not give a dam what happens to Equestria as long as he gets his revenge that all that matters to him.

This Eggman will not be as foolish as the real one would. The only one pony that will give him trouble will be Rainbow Dash.

6156480 Ok I will use what you edit for me and I will see if I can find a edited. Thank for the help. ^^ :twilightsmile:

6173775 I see, well crap Equestria is screwed then unless someone knocks some sense into Blackwargreymon.

Good then there's hope things won't end up going all doomsday on them.

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