caveman0803
Joined 4th Sep, 2013 ·
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Oh my gosh. Yes!
I love these type of stories.
Hello, caveman0803. I'll be your editor for today. Let's get started, shall we?
this seems redundant. Either eliminate the "and..." clause, or make it into something slightly more comedic: by a flower stall and noticed that they were selling--what else--flowers
should read: they are her favorite, after all, Remember the comma at the end, as you go into another phrase instead of a new sentence.
missing period.
it's more than acceptable to have this in one paragraph.
That's good, because... and another missing period.
"Oh, really?" Cheerilee inquired. "What plans would those be?"
"Well, it starts with these," Twilight said.
Twilight, you shouldn't have!" Cheerilee exclaimed.
period.
should be a comma breaking the monologue, not a period.
I'm going to take (capitalization error)
missing period.
is the prompt supposed to be capitalized? If so, sorry for wasting time here.
No real story errors, knowing you're supposed to keep it short. This was adorkably fantastic.
I go!
You changed between Twilight being an alicorn and a unicorn part way through
I don't want to know
what a way to start a relationship
5217389 that's because each story is written by a different person
5258837 No, during this chapter, one line Twi was an alicorn then further down she was a unicorn.
With Roseluck...
With Applebloom...
And I do know how prompt collabs work, I'm in the OctaScratch one
Cute!
This was adorable!
I Loved it
Cute. I liked this one a lot. Actually, I liked the others too, but i'm too lazy to comment on all of them.
This is like the third story I've wrote about a drunk mare.
I think I have a problem.
nice save twilight
ok that list need to be shown on they wedding day or night before
this is one of my favor shippings that sadly not a lot of story out there of which is just sad
7483467
It was the BEST save of her life. I have the feeling that Cheerilee wasn’t gonna take any old excuse.