Ozzy Shore, one of the first human settlers in Equestria, starts his new life as Fleur de Lis' new secretary. How will he handle difficult obstacles like his close-minded manager, and living under Canterlot's uptight, social norms?
Page generated in 0.032 seconds
Total duration
1,086 users online
1,720,185 hits today, 2,156,967 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Yeah, UPDATE!!!!
How I hate cliffhangers. Even that I knew it's there its still bothers me
Huh. The a-hole himself. Run, Ozzie! Run!
Solar Flare's met Ozzy now.
Hell's holy stars and freakinh stones shit bells.
~Headscratches~ You know, I like this story but I've finally figured out what it is that bugs me about your dialogue. People just don't talk like this in the real world. They go on way past when most people would have stopped. It's this line that finally cinched it for me -
‘I wasn’t going to stand by when someone’s about to get hurt right in front of me. I wouldn’t want anyone to go through what I did for so long, and I don’t ever want to end up like someone I knew who could’ve stopped it.’
So he's stepped into this fight, he's had his ass handed to him by the sounds of it and has been asked why. Most people would simply say "I wasn’t going to stand by when someone’s about to get hurt right in front of me" because really that's the only bit that matters. Your story really suffers from your characters TELLING us everything rather than showing it through their actions or body language.
Same here with this line - "Yeah, that’s me,” I answered while still staring at my glass. “Gotta admit, I didn’t think I’d be on the news that many times in my life, to be honest. It’s calm right now, but I’m still not used to having such facts be made public.”
Really, you could have left that at "to be honest" and the impact/meaning would have been exactly the same. Would he really say all that to a total stranger he hasn't even made eye contact with while he's lost in his own thoughts?
Anyway. Like I said, I do like the story but there's times your dialogue just really doesn't have a natural flow to it. Just my two bits, for what they're worth.
5752027 Huh, I didn't think of it like that. Thanks for the input.
Damn you
I am loving ozzy's old 'friend' and i'm chewing my nails wondering how its going to go down between him and solar fart.
YOU...you....evil...bastard...
and what a cliffhanger it was
5752027 think back you right but the good point in the fic kind balances it out, "if not to you to me I guess."
Solar Flare oh shits gonna go down,
i492.photobucket.com/albums/rr289/axlthehedgehog_2008/responses/i-amp-039-m-suck-her-k-and-i-amp-039-m-a-man_c_2729857.jpg
stayclassy
I think this chapter can be summed up with "Aww hell."
wow so much going on in this chapter new people old wounds out in the open and ozzy meets Solar Flare at the end. now that is a cliffhanger.
really good work with this chapter Dudeler good job.
I have my own thoughts as to what Solar Flare is up too but time will tell if I am right.
he wants to apologies' to the girls and I think he really means it
you friended
Harts Fire
Oh snap! I knew Oz and Solar would meet soon, but not like this!
5752027 I said basically the same thing a few chapters back. You said it better though.
I said it before, and I'll say it again. I want Jude around all the time!
Been wondering when Solar would show up again...
Y'know, you've been building to Shining and Fleur's estrus for a while now, and now there's a sex shop that sells "endurance" potions. I can't help but wonder how big that chapters gonna be.
...Prepare to use bottle as a weapon Oz.
Well. There's only one way this little encounter can end...
IN MORTAL KOMBAT!*
*With an ensuing meteor strike to render the whole mess a pointless farce
NEBRASKA REPRESENT!
content.sportslogos.net/logos/33/766/full/tehw6xtk9sefdv578hfzgepb3.gif
5752354
I have to disagree. This all started because Solar tried to hook back up with Fleur. Then he went and followed her to the video store, trying to get her to talk to him, only for Fleur to state that she's with Ozzy. And now he's at a bar with Ozzy. Considering how Solar acted last time he was drunk, I think it's safe to assume Ozzy is in some real trouble.
5753114 one can hope but I have a feeling you are vary right.
5753138
'Hope for the best, plan for the worst.' That's my motto.
5753114 Fleur and Solar actually met again at a Chineighse restaurant back in Manehattan while the former was waiting for her food to cook and take to their room.
OH SHIT
(In Ozzy's when laid eyes on Solar Flare)
:in the blue corner:
Are you ready
:in the red corner:
Are you ready
FIGHT!!!!!!!!
Well... fuck.
(calmly walks outside, drops to knees and screams to the heavens) DAMN YOU CLIFFHANGERS!!!!!!!!
And now comes the phaze where everyone will be ripping their hair out waiting for the next chapter
5752046 I love cliffhangers.
There so great :)
I hope that the next chapter comes soon, especially after that glorious cliffhanger you gave us.
I feel sorry for Jude for going to show up later rather than sooner but seems like he was right on the money that he's just more surprises waiting for him, especially with the latest one happening right now.
5752354
There's a tiny part of me that kind of hopes that they suddenly become the best of friends for some crazy reason.
Though I'm pretty sure Ozzy will probably give him "The Reason You Suck Speech" to him and tell him exactly how he screwed up his relationship with Fleur, why he's a horrible person, and why this this speech is exactly his first reaction to him; especially since he seemed to have the gall to say that he's glad that he's making Fleur. I feel like this is something Solar needs to hear, if you don't explain to someone why what they did is bad (and possibly list off what they could've done better) and how much they're actions have affect others, then they'll never learn, especially if they want to be good or under the delusion that they were good.
"I guess that settles it, then. Not sure why it's you, but I've never seen Fleur so happy since I fucked up..."
The moment I read that I said: "Oh Damn. Oh Shit, Its Solar Flare"
Who's anxious for the next chapter!!!
Oh man, what's Solar Flare up too?!? Got devious plans? Accepting that it's over with Fleur? Is he drunk and about to do something dangerous and stupid again?
I can hardly wait!!! Tune in next month!
If not sooner, (I hope, I hope, I hope)
5754568 if you read the 'official' side stories, it will clear up why honeypot acts the way she does.
5753198
Sorry, my bad! As punishment, I'll have to go back and re-read the whole story again!
But that just makes me even more sure that Solar hasn't changed. I'd like to see Ozzy actually beat him in a fight tho; it would show just how well his training is going, and give a big boost to his self esteem.
Two things. 1: GOD DAMMIT! I literally just wrote a character whose name was Swift Justice! This always happens to me though, so no big deal here. I just thought it was funny to see that happen... again.
2: Jude is now my favorite. I, for whatever reason, see him walking up to Oz and saying, 'Oz, you sexy widdle baby!' That is all.
Brony on!
Oh man! The next chapter must be uploaded ASAP!
5754226
I would kind of like to see that but I have a feeling it is going to get ugly first.
and remember fancy pants is home so I am betting ozzy and the girls are being watch bye some pony.
I said I had a bad feeling in the last chapter...
I sure hope someone picks up that phone, CAUSE I BUCKING CALLED IT!
Their going to talk it out I imagine... I hope. Would be a shame if Solar and Ozzy fight and accidentaly kill one another... I hope it doesn't come to that.
I think Ozzy and Solar will have a civil discussion, judging from his introduction, but I've been wrong before.
In any case, well done, my pupil. You have mastered the art of the cliffhanger. I have trained you well.
5758044 *Gasp!* Arigatou Senpai! XD
5756189
Yeah, I agree. It just depends on who is going to turn it ugly first.
Not caught all the way up yet - enjoying it!
One thing that caught my eye.
Several times the cutie marks have been mentioned as being on the shoulder, several other times on the rump.
I
5761555 They're on both.
Ok, did not expect that ending.
2 words...
Oh...
fuck...
Ahaha!
I'm reading a story with a pony that volunteered for Princess Luna's night guard. He hasn't been fully introduced, but his name is (you'll love this) Solar Flare.
5764109 Wow, oh the irony. XD