Ozzy Shore, one of the first human settlers in Equestria, starts his new life as Fleur de Lis' new secretary. How will he handle difficult obstacles like his close-minded manager, and living under Canterlot's uptight, social norms?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Prereader comment! Not all elements discussed will be present in the final draft.
Story-wise, this one was generally entertaining, and not much can be said about it beyond that. Grammatically speaking, you ran into the error known as the awkward sentence, or just AWK for short. Basically, it's a sentence that is correct in terms of grammatical implications, but off in some way that describing it would be difficult. For instance, the sentence I just wrote. It works from a grammatical standpoint, but saying it out loud it sounds weird. There were a few of those, but otherwise not much to say about this one.
Yeesh. If I didn't know better, I'd say Fleur just declared her intention to ride Ozzy...
...
Why is that so hot?
I'd ride that pony.
Ok. I am wondering WHO Ozzy is gonna end up with. It constantly seems to be evenly Split between Fleur and Shiny, but since Fleur and Ozzy are against the idea of herds, there goes that. And while Fleur seems to most likely candidate, the 50/50 split I mentioned it makes it hard to tell
I wonder if they will share him in the end. Yes they dislike herds, but they never thought about it with the two of them liking someone close to them.
4840255
he could get both
I didn't get the joke…what does riding had any sexual implication? yeah its funny imagine a bunch of adults doing piggy bags with one another and that is funny but what is kinky on that? really I'm lost
I feel it's necessary to note that the Hummer is a civilian version on the US Military's HMMWV (High Mobility Multi-Wheeled Vehicle, pronounced "Humvee"). It does the job it was designed to do, just that job isn't very applicable in the civilian world...
Giddy up Fleur
Such a shame that both Fleur and Ozzy are closed off to the idea of polygamy.
I want a sexy Ozzy/Fleur/Shining threesome!!!
HAREM ENDING!!!!
lol lol poor ozzy he got trolled and trolled hard
The now chicks wow wow is demanding to be said...
Great chapter.
He lol'd
Then got trolled...
4840499
I wanted that too which is why I am sad both of them are like that.
4839330 I'm thinking that you two really need to use PM.
4840761 Yeah, probably.
The better question is who put it up for consumer purchase. I'd like to think the man who invented it originally though it would be only a military vehicle.
Samurai Jack's face is AWESOME!!!
4840848 'S kinda the point of proofreading, so that it doesn't become known to the public that someone made such mistakes.
Dude, you're an animal! Keep the good stuff coming.
Love the new cover pic btw
Hummers were developed for Army use. That's why they are so stupid for civilian use.
Very interesting story. I'm not sure how this is going to turn out.
You have written a very good developing friendship between the three of them that can go in some many different directions. You have my interest.
As much as I want a solution to this situation, please don't rush it. You are doing fine just the way it is.
Enjoy your story, develop it well. I will continue to wait for updates and read them.
I know this might have been said once or twice before but I gotta say this character is starting to bug me a little.
I like the fic, I really do, but he seems to always have the right answer while also being slightly arrogant in the wrong way, so it just feels like this character is a little hard to relate to. I know it's an individual thing but it just feels like that someone who hasn't had high paying jobs and has worked educationally for a long while wouldn't automatically go "I'll donate some of my wages to charity!" after obtaining a good income. Plus the talk about polygamy feels rather... off is the only word I can think of. Sure, he doesn't like it and we get that but does he really think that every stallion in the universe who IS into polygamy is doing it just to get laid? Feels a little arrogant towards the way that this universe works.
I enjoy this fic a lot and I will keep reading but Oz just seems to be one of those guys that's so nice that it gets annoying, while also being that guy who judges at first glance but doesn't think that there's more to it than he can see.
4840435 did you know that the US Military's HMMWV actually has a 6 cylinder malty-fuel diesel engine that is made by Cummins and gets about 30mpg.
4842041
Yeah. Sadly, it's one of the most fuel-efficient vehicles the US military has (it actually gets "miles to the gallon" rather than "gallons to the mile").
4842452 I have no idea who Bono is.
dont worry that phrase was corrupted long before you got here
lmao that troll face looks like someone stole his cake. here's my troll face.
i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/004/077/Raisins_Face.jpg
Hmmm there only one thing that make me think about the way the say that.
4842772 Lol, yeah, the troll face I put up with usually goes along with "Oh god why?" As you refer it to something that's severely tragic that you wished you didn't know until then.
Like for example, all the blocks Mario had hit in the original games, whether they be bricks, question marks, or other things, are actually the toads that were transformed into them due to some kind of curse. So when Mario hits them to get coins, items, or just breaking bricks, he's basically committing homicide to all the transformed toads he comes across.
4843027 O.M.G really ?
4843132 I'm not kidding.
His birthday is a day after mine
4840208
I know I'm not the only one that immediately thought of this when Fleur made that remark to Ozzy:
[youtube=i7P6ut6HPR8]
4840688
Just because that is neither Ozzy's nor Fleur's preference, doesn't mean that it's completely off the table.....
I REALLY hope Ozzy is gonna end up with Fleur. That would be so sweet
4844807 Hey, at least we've grown mature about what we like in terms of comflict. Can you imagine what it would be like if we still watched violence live to the point of killing like back in the roman days?
Welp, now this just makes me cringe everytime I hear someone say "Giddy up!"
4845994 I'll keep those in mind.
4844518 yeah....singing in front of a lot of dudes and maybe two females that's not questionable
and followed this story and the truth that charm me greatly is fabulous and I hope I'll be ready upload more chapters very attentive to your updates keep it up
Greetings
Finally all caught up. Thanks for the excellent chapter.
Props for using a Samurai Jack picture in your Authors Notes section and for the well written and thought out worries of inter-species type relationships. Keep up the good work.
Ugh. That's when i stop reading and abandon the story. All this "lawful-good" nonsense that you throw in at random times for no reason just makes Oz's character flat and boring, like a piece of cardboard.
your mother is a piece of cardboard.......
5017294 ... Where'd you get that idea?
5017412
i think he meant to reply to Sir Krzysztof