Ozzy Shore, one of the first human settlers in Equestria, starts his new life as Fleur de Lis' new secretary. How will he handle difficult obstacles like his close-minded manager, and living under Canterlot's uptight, social norms?
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One thing leads to another. Ozzy and Shining will probably end up in the bedroom. What they do in it is still a mystery though.
Fancy is putting the Do Not Want Images in Fleur's head on Purpose just to mess with her like any big brother would.
Short or Novel length? I had that same kind of class (focused on short stories) and it wasn't that bad. Original fiction, while difficult in certain ways, are easier than fanfics in most. You don't have to worry about OOC and you get complete control over everything in the setting and environment. In fact, you can even just swap out a few names, add some explanations here and there to flush out the world, and this story can become original fiction.
EDIT:
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I'm surprised Oz didn't get a shiver down his spine, or the author didn't put in a "I feel a disturbance in the force" type joke in there from Oz.
Wow, that's a new twist with Fancy's character. I like it!
Can't wait for more!
Let's find out how dinner shall go!
Interesting developments in this chapter. Great job!
5135041 It's short. By the end of the term, we're supposed to have 40 pages worth of material written. Half of non-fiction that consists of critiques about the chapters we read from the 'how to edit stories' book and other classmates' stories, while the other half is actual fiction that we have to write the story for the class. Doesn't have to be all 20 pages either. It can be about 10 pages of one while the other have could be the rewritten version, or another different story or two. Shouldn't be too much of a problem for me though, considering how fast I type as you can see by how fast I update this story.
Fancy will call for Silver I can see it.
Je you know for some time I though he and buttercup will had something…I mean is not all that far fetch, I imagine his parents always set him up with noble mares, and that could be the problem too…jejeje wouldn't it be funny that later on its turns out he discover he is bi and form a herd but in reverse with a lead mare and some stallions?
The fact that Fancy was gay didn't even surprise me at all, and didn't you say that this wouldn't be a herd story a couple of chapters ago?
Still, great chapter and I can't wait for more
let me "edit" this wrong sentence
Holy moly I must have awakened my Psychic powers yesterday when i was reading the Toffee chapter, does that mean there's a chance the Silver Wheel is for fancy? And Oz will end up having a three way with Shiny and Fleur. And the epilogue will be an epic battle between Oz and his brother while Shiny fights off a horde of mirror pool cloned Ex boyfriends using Fleur as a laser gun. And just when everything seems bleak Oz saves the day by throwing a piece of French toast into a gas stove ring no bigger than a wamp rat and narrowly escapes the explosion to celebrate the destruction of the Paparazzi headquarters by proposing to his two best friends?
Or have I just been reading too much fanfiction
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For me it was a weekly assignment critiquing an assigned short story, four reports on different magazines that publish short stories, a shorty (2-10 pages length, original fiction), and a short story (12-20 pages length, original fiction [mine ended up semi-original as it was based in a world from a game I'm trying to developed and am the sole owner of the IP]). I found that I can either write good novels or good shorties, but short stories just seem to be my weak spot. Eh, still got what I needed out of the class.
And having an approximate average of 6k words per week is nice, but if you want to impress me, have that be daily
An interesting chapter today, only time will tell what will happen next.
Hate to admit it, but I kinda saw Fancy's 'outing' coming (no pun intended). Heh, maybe he could get with Silver Wheel and really keep it 'in house.' ... I can't believe I went there. (I'm a bad person at times. ) Anyway love the work.
There wer two errors I noticed: When Shining is yelling at Oz on the phone, it should be 'You didn’t seem to mind when she answered the phone.' Also it should be '...chuckle at my expense before he...' when Fleur and Fancy are conversing.
I got a voice for Shining. I'm thinking something along the lines of... Tamara Taylor. I have no idea why but for me, that fits her.
I told you that your story would get more popular than mine ...
5135278 Yeah, I noticed. But don't let it bother you though. Your story "Wilting Flower" has good recognition, and I like it as well. Take your time in updating your next chapter. I only got this far because of how fast I type and how 5 proofreaders/editors look over this story to make it read better.
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...that sounds like the best story EVER! That or I've been eating one too many pink cupcakes...
Dudeler, great chapter my good man! Oh, and perhaps you could submit one of your MLP fanfics for your class. Maybe redo the characters to be more relatable to non-bronies? When in a pinch, RECYCLE!
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If you're interested, I'm looking for people to toss me some ideas to help motivate me to get back to writing it again.
5135395 Writer's block?
5135372 I don't want to feel like I'm taking the easy way out. Plus I'm not exactly sure if it's considered copying and infringement even when "Dudeler" and ____ are the same person. Besides, this is a good chance for me to experiment different writing styles with different stories.
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Very true. I know that when I'm pressed for ideas, I usually take a character or plot device out of one of my stories and put them in another just to see if it fits. If not, yay creativity juice (aka massive amounts of coffee)!
The opening of this chapter made me laugh my tail off.
HA! I totally saw that coming from like a mile away
Called it! I knew he was gay, when Fleur started wondering about Fancy's relationships.
I can't wait for Oz and Shiny's date. That should be interesting.
Good chapter.
Love the chapter.
I look forward to finally seeing the inside Shining's house. I was actually thinking it was a little over due. But what I'm really interested in seeing is what happens when the girls get their heats. Ozzy would have to shoulder Shining's work load while she's locked up in her home, and then would have to bunk with Shining when Fleur goes into hers. Plus we still have the trail to go through. And have Solar Flare to deal with. Anyone else getting the feeling this story is only like half over?
So Fancy Pants swings that way? Honestly not my cup of tea, but it's your story so go with that if you want. Honestly I was thinking it was just Fancy not liking have someone arrange somepony for him (like those arranged marriages between princes and princesses) and wanted to find somepony to love his own way as well. I was thinking maybe Human Females would be his cup of tea instead of mares. Oh well... there goes that idea. Maybe I could... fufufu...
Anyway I look forward to the next chapter where Oz gets to see Shining's house for the first time and he explores it. I would like to see Oz think more about Shining in a "relationship" sort of way.
By the by, are you going to actual do a "Court Trial" scene with Mascara as the throw the book at her or are you going to skip over it and do a time skip and have the characters make references to that event and carry on with the story?
Continue writing good sir!
5135315 [youtube=rHsJdUv7k9Y]
I really love how you write Fleur and Fancy, it really makes me smile.
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Kind of. I know generally what I want to do, but I'm having trouble with bringing myself to actually write it; I don't have the confidence to keep going, because I don't feel that there's any reason to continue. My jealousy over other, more popular stories is holding me back.
It's amazing how everyone can see the girls' crush on our human, it is kinda obvious. Though I'm more curious about how the news is handling the Mascara situation.
5135896 There will be a time skip after a few more chapters, but there will definitely be one that focuses on the trial itself.
There are many ways you could have done such a reveal quite wrong.
Instead, the gentle brush strokes of how you handled such a thing came off very nice. Personally, I have no interest in M/M clop stories and refuse to read them, but the story element is an excellent addition to this as a whole. Do keep up the good work.
5136097
Wilted Flower huh? Well I only have 95 other unread chapters. I think the master of dark pastries can slide on over and give your story a look or eight,
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I hope I don't disappoint! I will warn you, though: it isn't cliché wish-fulfillment with OOC ponies. Which people seem to love for some reason.
5136122
I see, no offense would be kinda dull but I did the Jury Trial a little back so I'm somewhat intrigue to see your take on the court.
Honestly I don't think it will be a long focus in that chapter, more so I think the aftermath of it will be longer and more focus on the characters.
Well I look forward to seeing what you come up with.
You have creative writing class in school! Lucky! I want one too
There is an error here. I don't remember shiny talking with fleur and fancy
Hot damn, the fancy homosex
Very fancy indeed
Well now....Fancy that.
5136596 How the heck did the six of us missed that? Sorry about the confusion. It's fixed now.
Hope for a chapter to be developed throughout the story consisting of Shining or Fleur to be in heat with Ozzy in the room. I want to see if they compress it or let it free. Is it early to think that Fleur and Shining will get dildos the size of Ozzy when they see his penis? I think they will and enjoy it when they need to get off. Maybe even get it tan colored and shaped like a human's junk. Do they have a bad dragon for humans? How do human's and stallion's junk compare?
I love it man! This chapter is amazing and just the concept of Fancy being gay opens the doors for fans to expand on your universe, with your permission. The characters you've made are easy to work with and are realistic enough to draw readers in. I guess, what I'm saying is, it'd be fun to expand this universe, your "Ozzyverse"
I had a thought after the news leak bit.
Since the news media hasn't gotten a hold of Ozzy and gotten his side of the story they might not have enough to run as big a story as they'd like so might instead do stories on sexual harassment human men have suffered in Equestria.
So far all we've seen of with pony/human interactions is from Ozzy's POV and those he's close to, it would be a good way to flesh out the setting a bit more.
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We have a Leroverse and NonBrony Verse, why not?
5137699 There are a lot of "vers"s out there, 'tis true. Also, that is a very good point. That is the way the news works after all, if you can't fully get a juicy story get something just a scandalous. Kinda sad if you really think about it.
It could be Fancy is Bi at least,
All the mares he had tossed after him were after the money, the title, the power! -But never Him.
What if the first stallion he hooks up with, discretely away from Canterlot, already has a herd, who he also finds a connection with...
5137856 True.
And as I mentioned it would be a good vehicle to explore what other humans are going through in the setting.
...
Almost makes you wonder what's up down in old Ponyvillie.
Unnecessary comma in the short description.