Ozzy Shore, one of the first human settlers in Equestria, starts his new life as Fleur de Lis' new secretary. How will he handle difficult obstacles like his close-minded manager, and living under Canterlot's uptight, social norms?
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Gah, why can't this story just be completely done already. I just want to keep reading but it's not done yet :'( I don't want you to rush because this story is pretty good (other than horrible typos or grammar errors). So keep up the good work and please don't let this story die.
Well hope oz doesn't get too excited at the spa.
I can't decide who I want Ozzy to end up with more, Fleur or Shining. One minute its Fleur, the next its Shining. Secretly I want them to all three be together, but both Fleur and Shining said they don't want to be in a herd. I'm so confused. Love the story anyway.
Solar Flare or his brother possibly?
4997294 I know grammar's an issue, but have I really made that many typos?
4997316
I'm remembering rereading earlier chapters some time ago. The early chapters should be looked over. You've gotten better over time but occasionally one pops out.
Hmm... ... Steven Buscemi.
I like myself some ass
......................What about you?
I sense a despair moment in the next chapter.
Ok I'm starting to think he is a push over, I mean yeah they are trying to help but they are pulling him around like a rag doll…they did, I mean it was funny IF he was stubborn, but they just jump to 'I'm not taking 'no' for an answer at all the time, would you please stop with those? its starting to get on my nerves, and I start to feel like he is just a push over for those 2 mares
4997523
Honestly, I think that he doesn't really WANT to resist, at least unconsciously.
Think about it, here's a guy, who never really had any friends or female company to speak of, which seems to have been his brother's fault, and suddenly, there's these two mares, who, despite a bumpy beginning on Shining's part, accept him the way he is and honestly try to be his friends, maybe even more.
If he really was averse to whatever they do with him, I think he'd make it clear to them. He's not a pushover, he's one of the geniunely good guys who had a bad hand dealt by life and he now has a new hand dealt and tries to make the best of it, that involves giving stuff he's never tried or experienced a chance before saying "No.".
Besides, mares are more dominant, or rather, forward in Equestria, that much has been mentioned multiple times so far in this story...
...I really hope I got my own opinion across and not just a rant that made no sense in this context...
I was disappointed with this chapter. It's fine that Shining and Ozzy are trying to be more open with each other, but was confessing how he woke up that morning really necessary? That's the "no harm, no foul" kind of thing. Neither mare woke up when he wiggled his way out, so just ignore it and move on. He went out of his way to incriminate himself over a trivial matter.
Ah, well. Kudos on the +100k words. Looking forward to more.
4997673 Plus he's one who tries not to be a burden to his new friends, and just toughened things out for himself. He's also not used to be given such extravagant things by others, and doesn't want to feel like a burden getting such expensive things.
4997673
No actually its makes much more sense, except of the dominant, I think they ARE more forward but like birds they are still searching to look appealing to the males, more if the monogamous relationship exist, so I think in this case is more fair play but they try much harder to get the attention of the male, to the point of not caring to be more…slutty
Also you are right, he is not refusing he is just a bit scare and shy, and I imagine if he is uncomfortable he will let them know.
……Buuuuut with that aside, we also learn that because of his problem of self esteem AND his past he has some fear toward woman SPECIALLY attractive ones that show interest on him, and I think the author is kind of forgetting that part, yeah he is making the effort, but I think he is getting comfortable, a bit faster. I mean other than his nervous and sweat attack on 2 chapters tops, he has being relative calm with what happen to Fleur and Shining AND that they share room (witch I still find kind of weird)
Anyway the room I get it now, they are just friends saving money, but the morning accidents are pushing it at least a bit.
I hope I could explain myself, I'm not complaining I only saying that I think we should see a bit more of his fears, and he overcoming them before passing to this kind of situation, for a bit more.
Not complaining just pointing out and confused into why he is ok with sharing a room with them when he was struggling on the work no 2 or 3 days ago, and he don't even sweat on scary positions anymore .
I feel rather bad for Ozzy, I'm also surprised Shiny didn't kick him in the balls after reading the chapter title.
I absolutely love this chapter. The cuddles scene was cute and funny. The chat about their position and the things Shining says in her sleep made me laugh. Also, Oz talking Shining about her butt and her...response about his butt was my favorite part. I can't wait for the next chapter.
I prefer popping my neck and spine.
The typo is here:
Shining should be saying "I'm not trying to be too harsh on you, physically and emotionally."
Now that Shining has gotten some personal time with Oz I'm guessing it's Fleur's turn to have fun with him. With all this ship teasing, I keeping thinking that you're going to end the story with us choosing for him rather than himself in two different endings. ^^; And it hasn't even been a month yet.
I am starting to think that Oz should still fear Shining, but not in the same way.
She seems to be getting just a bit more forward and he is just oblivious.
I believe that the next chapter seems set for a similar relationship expansion with Fleur. Can't wait for more.
4998316 Fixed. I have no idea how I even missed that.
Im surprised that Shiny was the one to bring up all sleeping together.
She definitely wants that to happen again.
4998112 blasphemy! have you had a massage from a pretty lady who knows what she's doing....... after the session i had a bonerrr
4997822
Ah ok I think I get it a bit more…but if he feel bad because of that, wouldn't that make him tense throw ALL the massage? I mean he still feel a bit bad for the incident with the cloths
4998532
Also I'm starting to think Shiny had a desert fetish as well…that one when they enjoy be punish for be 'a bad mare'
I'm pretty sure 5 year olds are less naive.
4998598
It happens. I bet if you even go back a couple of chapters you might find some things that you'd want to change or a grammar error. Anyway it's such a simple mistake that anyone could've missed.
4999477 Eh, what's not always true. I mean, he just didn't think a mare that was hating stallions until JUST recently would be having those kind of thoughts. That's my opinion anyway. As for who the face could be, maybe it'd be the girl he gave his first kiss to? The one that really made him become socially awkward.
4998872 Nyet. I have not. I prefer to pop my neck and spine. I am much like Rainbow Dash when it comes to Spas. I hate them.
I totally ship Ozzy and Shining. I don't care what the real ending is. They're awesome together.
4997304 It's entirely possible that as things come into the open Fleur and Shining will argue the other should be with him before finally deciding to share.
5001338 Yes that is a possibility, but to me that feels like they're sacrificing their morals a bit
5001158 you my fiend are missing a lot
5002741 Judging by the avatar, you're closer to being the 'fiend'.
Kidding, of course.
5002756 you just need a hug i'm an angle
blackdogvideo.bc.ca/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/hugs.jpg
5002741 Se La Vi.
5003098 Pass
I've been reading this story since the beginning and I'm quite enjoying it thus far! However I do agree on others that Ozzy is too preachy at times and work better at a press conference with the preaches, otherwise he's a good character. Perhaps he should take Kung Fu lessons as well on top of the workout training with Shining so he can defend himself a little better. Strength is good, but if you don't know how to use it it might as well be a giant moving target.
Anyway about the returning I can think of several ones like Mascara, as they're going to the Spa to relax and mostly females use it, she could be there and things might turn "interesting" if Mascara gets Oz to herself or maybe it's Miss Autumn Falls was it? There... and let me see how else could it be? Maybe Princess Luna, she might not have appearance physical in the story yet but mentioned. Or could it be... that nameless Mare from Fancy Pants' party? That would be funny and random!
I doubt we'll see Oz's brother or father anytime in the future and I hardly doubt Solar Flare would be at or near the Spa considering a lot of ponies are aware of his crime before and most likely will not trust him or let alone have him near Fleur at all. I really look forward to what you have planned in store for this returning character.
I look forward to the next update on your story. I REALLY like Shining Star's character and honestly I find her more interesting than Fleur even though Fleur is an interesting character herself and I'm voting for Ozzy and Shining Star together even if an ending with Ozzy somehow ends up with Fleur and Shining were possible by changing their minds (this I vote for the most... he cares about them equally and if he cares enough for the both of them and get their equal attention, there's nothing wrong with having them both, right? ;-) ).
Once I get the time I need to continue on my stories, mind given them a look at? I like to see more feedback on my stories and seeing how I can improve them to be better and more enjoyable for the readers. Take care!
5004071 You know I just realized why most humans work at a spa when they end up in Equestria. It's not because hands are better then hooves for massages, it's just that in the typical 'more mares then stallions' settings spas are more in demand, and good massages even more so.
This guy is so innocent sometimes it's painful!
This story is pure GOLD I love the Drama of it all. Ozzy does seem innocent too much but that makes this chapter even better!!
5009863 Um... Wow. Yeah, Fleur may have her shopping sprees, but she knows when she has spent enough time and money on it, while Ozzy has some good tolerance to certain things. I doubt either would go so far like this couple did.
5003129
It's actually c'est la vie.
Just thought you should know.
5011691 EH. Its fine. Im not fluent in french.
*twitch twitch* must *twitch* have... moar...
NAO!
5004071 Yeah, that is exactly how I ship the characters. lol
Moving on to the next chapter; can't wait for you to update!
quickmeme.com/img/88/88e5cb516ac42725bff48af34cb6bf85c2bf031b7c91f85a986419e867d4a27d.jpg
Best way to wake up, I say.
If you weren't so anvilicious about the whole "no herding" thing, I'd totally go for it.
So instead I'll just root for Shining. Though with how far behind I am, I'm not sure how much that'll help...
Now to await Ozzy popping a stiffy in the spa massage.
I swear, Ozzy is as dense as a brick, and if I didn't kno better (because clopfic with plot) I would say he was gelded at some point.