- Member Since 18th Apr, 2012
- offline last seen Sunday
Donraj
If you like my writing you can encourage it.
Donraj
Joined 18th Apr, 2012 ·
Offline
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I can see nothing but good things happening here! Also, screw Appleseed. She's a bitch.
Damn.........she thirsty...probably she didnt even get a chance to drink anything
So how long until I see the red one and trixie get applebloom in for a threesome.
I would have advocated sentencing her to mandatory classes on safe handling of dangerous magical artifacts and performing for orphans or foals in the hospital as community service.
derpicdn.net/img/2012/7/1/27599/large.png
4539775 That's p. creepy and you are a shithead for suggesting it.
Trixie may actually like being around the farm now. Too bad she has to work on an empty stomach. It's her own fault, though. I hope she becomes more likable for the Apples. I do have to wonder why Twilight waited so long to go looking for Trixie for her crimes, especially because she forgave Trixie?
I can't read this if you keep calling Applejack Appleseed. It's as jarring as hitting a solid brick wall and I litterally stop reading as my brain tries to manually rewrite it to Applejeck. Do not do this ever please. It was fine having trixi actually call her that, in conversation, once as a joke but having the narrator do it too is supremely frustrating, like I can not put it into words how frustrating it is to read this.
In fact I'll just copy the story to word/notepad and do a find/replace so I can actually read this past the first bit. If it's still like this in the next chapter I'll have to give it a thumbs down.
WHO. IS. APPLESEED?!
4540897 Got some bad news for you...
Clearly nothing can possibly go wrong with this plan. You go, Trixie! If ponies can't see their own faults, it is your duty as a good citizen to point them out at every opportunity! Big Macintosh will be grateful for your obvious kind intentions.
This is really great, I don't see why people can't handle Appleseed. After all, this is a story about Trixie. Thank you so much for writing, it's really wonderful.
I'm a Trixie fan, and I approve of this story.
4539775
Ha.
No.
4542515 He's blocked.
4541074
I like the whole "She forced Trixie to work in her barn, Trixie "worked" her brother."
s.mlkshk.com/r/7S0H
But I wonder how Trixie will react after learning she has competition, And specially WHO is the competitor.
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140102213252/mlp/es/images/c/c6/Princesa_Luna_y_Big_Mac_beso.png
4541074
It's Trixie getting Applejack's name wrong. It's in the narration because it's from her point of view, so we only know what she knows. Thus, if she doesn't know Applejack's name, we read what she thinks it is.
Author, this is great! Trixie is in top form, and I can't wait to see how she embarrasses herself in the future.
4540584
My, my....resorting to name calling and blocking people over a question? What an upstanding citizen you are.
And for the record, ForceUser is right. You shouldn't be using Trixie's pet name for Applejack in the narration unless you're writing in first person (which you aren't) or directly narrating Trixie's thoughts (which you aren't). A third person narrator should be neutral unless they have a distinct narrative voice and personality (ex. the narrator in Bastion).
4543107 Pedoshit ain't alright in my book and I see no reason why I should put up with it.
4543107 I get more than enough accusations of being a pedophile myself as it is just because I write erotic My Little Pony fanfiction. I have no interest in lending credence to that.
4543181
Write what you want, dood. I certainly wasn't saying that you have to agree with him, just that the reaction seemed bit over the top. Kinda like tricking someone with a hand buzzer and getting punched in the face in response.
Any time you do anything in life that deviates from what is considered "normal" it'll draw attention from others, and not all of it will be positive. It's just one of those inevitable facts of life. But as long as you're not doing anything harmful or illegal, just ignore them. You're not actually a pedophile, so just sit back, watch them get all worked up over nothing, and laugh.
It's incredibly satisfying to watch an internet crusader start frothing at the mouth while they call you names, all without ever realising that you really don't care. It's one of my greatest joys in life.
4543181
4543107
Dis shit is lols.
4543384 Yes, well, that's why the story has the comedy tag.
4543419
Was talking about the comments. Story is so-so. Didn't make me laugh long and hard or roll around on the floor in my own involuntary pee, but didn't make me cringe from unfunniness, either.
4543461 I was being sarcastic
4543534
Your sarcasm was hilarious
4543834
Thank you. I aim to please.
4540897 Trixie is the one calling Applejack 'Appleseed'.
4539775 I second this
Haha. This is great. Can't wait to see how the Giddy and Irritating Trixie manages on the farm as she tries to win Bic Mac and deal with Applejack.
This cracked me up.
4543461
Well of course! We are just getting started. You can't have any punchlines without any buildup!
4543278 I am glad that you have discovered the zen of not giving a fuck, but personally I'm going to keep playing whack-a-mole with comments like that just for the sake of feeling self-righteous and morally superior.
I have never been more amused by a Trixie story in my life. I am so looking forward to more. Poor Trixie, she should have kept her mouth shut. She's going to be in for a rough workday after her morning conversations...
I am your 69th like, dear author. This story is hilarious and I demand you write more immediately or face my wrath, pretty please.
Trixie looked aghast. "On a farm?!" she said incredulously. "Working in the dirt?!"
"Eyup," Applejack said, clearly having decided to go with amused. "That's why they call us earth ponies."
BIT OF A STEREOTYPE ISN'T IT???
(Filthy Rich, Octavia, Ms. Cheerilee, Dr. Hooves/Time Turner, Hoity Toity, Aloe and Lotus, Cheese Sandwich, Coco Pommel, Ms. Harshwinny, Photo Finish, Nurse Redheart, Sapphire Shores, the Oranges, and about ten zillion non-farming Earth Pony OC's, in chorus)
4547972 Applejack wasn't exactly being seriously there.
4547972 Also crap, I missed an Appleseed and now I'm debating whether or not to fix it.
4548301
Well, neither was I...
>Applejack cut in with a big shit-eating grin
Wow, were you trying to say the most out of place thing possible? Was your goal to throw the reader out of the story with one little phrase?
4549667 It's a very fitting expression!
4549670
It's
A: Incredibly jarring in comparison to the rest of the story up to that point
and
B: Not descriptive of any expression we've ever seen Applejack make in the show. Applejack smirks in situations like that.
4549673
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/shit-eating_grin
4549675
I, uh
I know what a shit-eating grin is
That would be why I objected to you using the phrase.
4549681 Well we don't often see Applejack being vengeful in the show.
4549687
Ah, so both her expression and her attitude were out of character and shoehorned in! Well, two wrongs certainly do make a right, then.
4549693
Well it seemed to fit and "Applejack wants to get some humbling but ultimately harmless payback on Trixie" is part of the premise. So in this particular take on her character I feel it is appropriate.
Plus I thought the wording fit because Applejack is a farm pony and probably has a more earthy and somewhat crude sense of humor than others.
4549706
I can dig the explanation, but the narration shouldn't be in character like that. It really ought to be neutral, or else what the reader thought was a third-person story suddenly shifts into first person with no warning.
4549709 I feel it's okay to blur the line enough to have the character's thinking color the narration while not outright being from her perspective. In much the same way that the rest of the narration is heavily influenced by Trixie's perception of what is going on.
4549712
Yes, and look at how many complaints you've gotten about the narrator saying "Appleseed".
4549722
I see that the person who complained got a bunch of downvotes on their comment.