• Member Since 18th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Donraj


If you like my writing you can encourage it.

E

Twilight and Rarity talk about their dating history.

Quick story written for RariTwi Creation Contest Three.

Audio Reading: http://youtu.be/GG5_ogQ17DI

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 37 )

This is pretty good. Have an upvote and fave good sir or madam

(Just as a note: it's spelled Exes, not Exs.)

5397033

I didn't come up with the prompt.

"So are you now dating Spike?":twilightblush:
"What makes you say that Twilight dear?":duck:
"Equestria's run out of other brothers, mothers , cousins other sisters room mates":twilightsmile:
"He's such a handy gentle drake , My precious scales":raritywink:
"So that a yes?":twilightsheepish:
:raritystarry:

To be nitpicky: there are a few commas that you should add here and there, since it helps break up the sentences a bit. Like,

I'm sorry, darling, I thought I heard you say your ex.

The paragraphs could use an extra line in between them, but I guess that's just preference.

Content wise, great story! I enjoyed it :pinkiehappy: Definitely a good example of a slice of life..

5399996 I'm trying to get into the habit of using fewer commas and as a result I over compensate

5400170 Ah yes, sometimes I'm known to use more commas than needed.. I guess, again, that's personal preference. Carry on!

5400172

It seems to be a common tendency with people who are better than average at writing but not at the level of doing it professionally

5400186 Oh? I haven't heard that before; that's quite interesting. Have there been studies done on that?

5400196

No, just something I've noticed

5400208 I see. You must be quite observant, then. I never notice stuff like that..

You know, it makes me question why the featured box works the why it does. Because I don't think one thousand, one hundred and fifty words (rounded down number) coupled with a boring one shot idea – is worth getting put up as a featured story.

5400293

Yeah, I'm pretty weirded out too. The last time this happened it was with a story I wrote in literally under an hour.

Always with the people crying over how the featured box doesn't love them as much as other people and blaming everyone else for it.

5400711

Well he is right

5400903

Yet so am I. ._. So far I've yet to see someone reasonable with an actual, well thought-out complaint. It's always just "Wow this is shit I guess the featured box is stupid!" with that air of 'My story didn't get into the feature box and I crave attention, time to go crap on everyone else's stories who made it!'

5401087

I dunno man, but if people don't want to read my erotic Walker: Texas Ranger/My Little Pony crossover fanfic then I have no idea why they'd like this one so much

5401087
>Yet so am I.
Except, you aren't right; in fact, you're making assumptions.

>So far I've yet to see someone reasonable with an actual, well thought-out complaint.
Because it is difficult to make one about the featuring system, to be fair it works but most of the time, it doesn't work for stories that actually deserve to be put up on it. Now granted, I'm not saying this story doesn't deserve it, but it should have been lower on the priority to be completely honest. That's just me though, I enjoyed the story for what it was, none the less.

>It's always just "Wow this is shit I guess the featured box is stupid!"
Except that is a valid complaint for a lot of stories. Like AiE/HiE stories for instance, I personally think have no place on this site, but knighty won't ever do that because of the huge amount of backlash would follow because people can't write self-inserts anymore and have to become a pony self-insert instead.

>with that air of 'My story didn't get into the feature box and I crave attention, time to go crap on everyone else's stories who made it!'
Like I said before, all assumptions, no facts or valid points. There is quite a lot of people on this site, and just because you assume the small amount of people you have seen to have that 'air' – doesn't mean you should generalize anyone who has even a slightly negative opinion about a story regarding it and being featured. On top of that, I do not have any published stories yet, so how could I have that 'air' – please explain to me.

5401183

You literally just said, "You said you're right and I don't agree, so you're wrong." Well, you just said I'm wrong and I don't agree, so you're wrong. We can do this all day, you didn't actually disprove anything I said, just gave your opinions and assumptions based on my observations. I'm not here to prove anything to you, and was not speaking to you. Therefore the onus of proof is not on me so I am not here to change your mind, but was rather stating conclusions from years of sifting through this community.

It seems you take issue with that. I would feel sorry, and apologize, but you felt the need to specifically target me when my comment itself was speaking in general - I targeted no one. If you feel offended, then you included yourself as one of the people I hold distaste for, without my specifically labeling you as such; that much is pure logic and thus irrefutable. If you do not feel offended, why are you responding in the defensive? Why are you responding at all? Especially to criticize a 'lack of evidence' that is not my burden to provide, when not providing evidence yourself but assumptions and opinions of your own, especially on what I said? (For that matter, how would one provide evidence on such an issue? Demanding that someone somehow retroactively save and produce every post of sheer whining and crap-flinging they've seen in this community over the years or they're somehow magically wrong is nonsensical and holds no weight.)

Do you realize what a waste of time you have wrought when no one was attacking you? You can wise up and not reply, or say whatever else you like to save face: I really don't care, I won't be reading it or replying further to create a more consistent issue in the comments of a story I happened to enjoy for what it was. If you feel that's a worthy use of your time, go right ahead.

5401183
SA, eat a snickers.

I find it funny that I'm the only one agreeing with him and up voting his posts.

I wrote a review of this story here.

Comment posted by Titanium Dragon deleted Dec 22nd, 2014

5410488 You know, I didn't come up with the title

5411217
I did not, though I might have suspected. That foul fiend.

Hmmm... I've never really liked the idea of either of those ships but your ideas are intriguing as to why they might actually work. Have an upvote.

6022941

Or not work in a spectacular manner

6022947 Point granted, though you make it seem like it could be feasible for any length of time while still admitting that they couldn't work out. Plus you did it in some thousand words which makes it all the more impressive really. It's why I dislike Sparity, our first crushes are important not because they could have worked (and for most everyone never could have) but because we grew from them falling apart. This story isn't really about that, but acknowledges moving post such adolescent fixations.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Wait, are Twilight and Rarity supposed to be in a relationship? O.o

6975734

Nope. Just friends chatting

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

6976654
Okay. The tag for the contest threw me. So I saw nothing in the text that wasn't there! :D

6977177 Well, friendshipping is a thing.

Well, that deserved PP's recommendation.

6984737 Why the hell do people keep liking and reviewing this story out of all things?

Fuller review here, but in brief: I can't fault it for doing what it promises, and it's nicely written. I just wish there'd been more to it, to put the characters' present-day personalities into relief.

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